by Dark Angel
Ryan spits the words, “You bitch! You knew he was here, and you did this on purpose!”
“What?”
“You’re taking the day off,” Eric says forcefully, aiming a glare at Ryan who's finally pulled himself off the floor.
“You’re fucking lucky that I didn’t do any real damage!” Eric warns him, but Ryan’s not saying anything. His eyes return to me, and I shiver at how dark they look. “I’m not taking no for an answer. We’re leaving here together!”
I reach for Eric’s hand, letting him tug me out of the store without a glance to anyone else. He’s moving so fast that I’m out of breath just trying to catch up with him.
“I need my purse.”
He shakes his head and shoots me a disapproving glare. “No, you don’t. You’re shaking, and you need to be as far away from that creep as possible. Come now!”
I know he’s right. He’s telling me to leave with him. Not asking me. Kinda like how our date went...except this time, this is Eric protecting me so no matter how frustratingly bossy he is or uncommunicative he was, I’ll go with him. Once we get outside, I don’t have to deal with the sounds of Ryan cursing and calling me or Eric every name under the sun.
He blames me for what happened, but I didn’t do anything wrong. It was all Ryan, but then Eric’s acting as if he’s my knight in shining armor. He’s not. After all, I haven’t heard from him for days. For some crazy reason I thought he was coming to apologize or even tell me that he’s been busy but I’ve been on his mind. But in my confusion, I don’t know what he was doing at the store. It couldn’t have been just to drop off an iPad.
“What were you doing there, Eric?”
“Come! My car’s just opposite the store, and we can get the hell out of here.”
“But I don’t know if I want to get away from here with you. I spent one night with you, and then you…”
“Look!” He points at Ryan who’s trying to tease me by holding up my purse. I know what he wants to do, and I don’t want him to have the upper hand. I need to be as far away from that fucking creep as possible. There’s no denying that.
I’m sick of this whole situation. I’ve always been nice to Ryan, but it isn’t as if I’ve led him on.
And now Eric thinks that if I don’t want him to beat the shit out of my creepy boss, then Eric can just whisk me away?
I feel like everything is happening so fast. I can’t catch my breath.
Eric seems to understand my tentativeness, at least, so he at least offers some level of explanation.“We’re not going to your place. Or going to mine. We’re just going to drive a bit and then we’ll talk. Got it.”
I nod as he opens the car door. He climbs inside and shuts the door.
We drive without talking to each other, with only the sounds of the road and the radio. A little driving does help ease my mood. I don’t feel angry or upset anymore because everything starts to decompress.
I ask Eric to stop in front of the diner far ahead; it’s near Dana’s apartment, and that’s where I want to go. I want to be with a friend right now.
As soon as he stops the engine I ask him the question that’s been bugging me.
“Why did you decide to turn up?”
“I wanted to see you.”
“Eric, you buy me a phone. Then an iPad,” I say, looking down at it in my hands. “And then you don’t turn up or even call for days. I slept with you….which I guess I was wrong think that meant that I deserved something other than just being ignored!” And of course the million dollar truth is that I felt something and I thought he did, too. After being ignored for the better part of a week, now I just feel like a fool.
He sighs. “I know. I’m sorry.”
Wow, is that all he has to say about the subject? He doesn’t even try to downplay it. How do I even know he’s sincere? He just blurted it out as if he knew it was the right thing to say. Even if he didn’t mean it.
“So, you haven’t been busy at work?” I offer. I shouldn’t dig him out of this but I just want to understand this...understand how I could have been so stupid, really, as to think hooking up with him and expecting to hear back from him was a good idea.
Before he can answer, I reply for him, “But if you had been then you wouldn’t have had time to buy an iPad.” God, why did I even say that? Like, he’s rich. He’s got a driver. He’s probably got an assistant. Clearly he didn’t have any actual time for me and that’s why Eric has just now shown up.
Eric won't even look at me.
I’m so frustrated that I want to break something. I feel a rant coming on and my words start spewing out before I even know what I’m going to say. “I don’t get you. You wanted to act like the hero and that’s all it was about. Don’t pretend that what you did just then , Eric, was to save me. It wasn’t!”
He’s quiet but seems to be searching for something to say. No doubt another word. Something that doesn’t even describe exactly what’s going on at the moment.
“Elia, you do need saving from Ryan. He’s not just trying to assault you, he’s paying you less than everyone else.”
“What? How do you know that?”
“Ryan provided the financial reports weeks ago. They show clearly that you’re being paid the least…and now I’m certain that there isn’t any appropriate reason why.” Eric grits his teeth.
“Today is just too much…I can’t be here with you right now!” I know, I know, I’m being dramatic, but I don’t want to process this shitty news next to the only person I’ve been able to think about for days.
I need to get out of here. I open the car door and unfasten my belt.
“Where are you going?” Eric blurts out, maybe because no one’s ever walked out on him before. He probably does this sort of crap all the time.
“Far away from you as possible!”
“Why? But you don’t have your keys, and you can’t get home…” Eric rushes to explain.
I may have been a virgin before that night, but I’m not a child. “That’s not your concern. It’s mine.” I’m just about to shut the door, but realize I have one last thing to say. I bend down to do it as I’m outside of the car and can think properly even if it’s only for a few seconds.
“The best you can say to me for ignoring me for days and then turning up with a gift was sorry, and you offer zero explanation. I don’t even know that you are sorry, and you probably think I should just put up with it. Good night, Eric. Have a nice night. And you can return the iPad. I don’t need it,” I say, dropping it in the seat. “And I don’t want it.”
I slam the car door and get as far away from him as possible. Ryan, my boss, is a total skeevy asshole. I’m glad I’m not there anymore.
But Eric? Well no matter how charming he seemed, he’s just the jerk who blew me off and thought that I should put up with it.
Eric
I decide that there’s nothing better than a good night’s sleep for both of us to calm down. The next day, I decide to head straight to the bookstore. I’ve got to see her and make sure that Elia’s okay. I’m not even sure if she went back to her apartment, I waited a while and she never turned up. I kept myself from going out chasing after her when I knew she needed space, and only because her friend Dana’s address on her paystubs was near the diner Elia bolted from
Fuck!
It’s as if I’m just a stalker as I stand outside the bookstore, this time I’m really ready to make a proper apology. One that’s sincere from the heart. Because just the words...Elia’s right, they weren’t enough.
“Hey,” I say quietly as I open the door, and she’s standing by a bookshelf.
“Eric…”
I don’t give her an opportunity to say anything as I’m a man on a mission with the desire to win her heart; not by fancy gifts, but sincerely telling her that I’m sorry.
“I didn’t want to leave you alone. I know that I should, and you told me to stay away.”
I close the door and approach her. She’s got her
hair up in a ponytail, and it’s clear by the paleness of her skin and the bags under her eyes that she didn’t get much sleep last night.
“I’m sorry, maybe I acted a bit rashly, but I couldn’t just stand by and let Ryan attack you. Because, believe me. That’s exactly what he intended to do.”
I’m rambling on, something that I never do. Even when I’m nervous. Usually, I shut up tight until I can get everything right in my head.
“Anyway, you’re right about the expensive gifts and then turning up like that. It wasn’t right. What I should’ve done was at least send you a text or something. But I’m not that type of guy. Not the one who even wants to see a girl again after we’ve had sex. I bought you the gift because I didn’t know how else to make it up to you. Because I was thinking about you. Because I do want to know you, Elia.”
I sigh as I think that I’ve officially run out of words. I apologized. Explained the reason for my actions. She can leave it or take it, but everything I said is true. I feel like I’m standing here naked. While normally that wouldn’t be a bad thing, now I just feel vulnerable and bared to her. I’m worried it isn’t enough.
This is something that I’ve never faced before.
I’m worried that I’m not enough.
Her brow furrows as Elia purses her lips. “I’m sorry for blowing up at you before, you did save me from Ryan. Also, he’s been acting like that for a while and I just kinda didn’t realize how creepy he was until he got bold enough to really act on it. No job’s worth being treated like that by your boss. The fact is that I hardly get paid, and I don’t know if I’ve just been wasting my time here when this is my dream job...it is starting to feel like more of a nightmare. It’s not as if this is the only bookstore in town, but without a new owner there may not be any place for me here. Not a place that I want.” She shrugs, and there’s a warm smile on her face as her eyes light up.
I love that even though Elia’s going through tough times, she’s stronger than anything that comes at her. She’s resilient and she doesn’t take shit. Certainly not mine. “You don’t have to apologize for that.” I don’t want her to feel like her outburst at me was uncalled for. She’s the first woman I’ve actually wanted to date, and I fucked it up terribly. My behavior was total bullshit, and Elia should have called me on it.
“But I do,” she says insistently. “That wasn’t any way to thank you for what you did. My mind froze when he touched me. It was almost as if I’d been dreading the moment for so long and I didn’t even realize it. I used to brush it off when I felt something strange about Ryan and think that I was paranoid, and Ryan wasn’t often around much so I didn’t think it would matter. But yesterday my eyes were opened to it all, and it made me feel so damn stupid.”
“He’s misled you and mistreated you for a while. Ryan has been using the possible sale of this store to try and manipulate you. It isn’t surprising, given the number of lies he’s told, that you couldn’t see the truth about who he really was. And none of your coworkers likely knew the full extent of Ryan’s actions, either." I look into Elia’s beautiful eyes and I take her in my arms without a second thought. She’s kind, she’s good, she’s strong…I just want to protect her. Hold her. Have her.
Elia freezes for a second before relaxing as her body melts against me. Then she pushes gently against my chest even though I can hear her breathing going out of control. Something tells me that she’s not ready for that yet. One apology. One iPad is not going to make up for how she must have been feeling for days when I never called or texted her.
“I need to get out of here!” She says, releasing a deep breath she was holding.
“Why? Is he here? Did he try something again?” I’m on alert instantly, not wanting her anywhere near that prick.
Elia shakes her head. “No, he hasn’t been back in since.”
“And your purse?” I should have got it for her, but I was literally so wrapped up in my own self-pity instead of actually helping Elia. Fuck, I am terrible at caring for another person. At least with my daughter it seems to be simpler...Rose loves me, and I’m her daddy.
To Elia, I’m just the punch-happy prick that tells her to go on dates, has sex with her, and ignores her.
I remember Ryan holding her purse against the window as if he was threatening her to come back in or enticing her, whatever would get him what he wanted. I reach for Elia’s hand, curling mine protectively around hers. “If you’d like, we can go and report this to the police.”
“No! You punching him was more than enough to get him to back off. Besides, I don’t know why I sent you two messages. Two phone calls after that night and you never returned them. No message. Nothing.”
I look down because I don’t have a real answer, and quickly change the subject. “Why don’t we go to The Macaroons, that French bakery you love?”
“Eric, I don’t remember telling you my favorite café. How do you know that?”
Fuck! So in watching the store to see possible peak hours of customer traffic, I have definitely indulged in watching Elia. Yes, I ignored and stalked her.
Not good at this relationship thing.
Pretty sure I’ve done nothing about this relationship thing right.
She jerks her hand out of mine, and her eyes widen as she shakes, exactly the same way that she did when Ryan made a move on her yesterday. “I thought that Ryan was the only creep in my life. Now, I’m starting to think that you’re just as bad as him. The only reason that you would mention The Macaroons is if you’re watching me. That’s it, Eric. You’re a liar and I don’t believe anything that you say. I know that you’re planning to buy this place, but I hope I won’t be a part of that equation.”
She turns her back to me. I know that I have nothing else to do but leave. Fuck! Even a simple apology seems too much as far as she’s concerned. Maybe buying this place is a fucking bad idea! Maybe getting more involved with Elia is an even worse one! I need to go back to the office. At least there I can work and stop thinking with my fucking cock for a change.
Elia
I leave my house with a bag thrown over my shoulder. The phone Eric gave me is inside and even though I’ve been using the iPhone, I dig out my old phone and decide that I’ll just stick to the one thing that I’ve been using all this time. It does still have all my old numbers in it, and maybe I’ll get the courage to drop off the iPhone on my way back. Eric still has the iPad. Thank goodness he didn’t bring it with him back to the bookstore.
I head down to my car and send a quick message to Dad that I’m going to be staying in the cabin for a couple of days. If I call him, he’ll only worry, so it’s best just to send a text.
My car’s a trash heap, but it was my first car so I keep it even though it rarely runs. That’s why I take the bus to work, or a taxi when I’m in a pinch.
My parents' saved to buy this old car for me once I got my permit after high school. My old Chevy may be bashed up a bit and makes a lot of noise, but with the price of a train or a bus in comparison to hopping in the car, it makes more sense to just take the car to get out of town.
There’s somewhere I need to be right now, and it’s as far away from here as possible. The engine sputters for a few moments, and I’m relieved when it roars to life.
I drive out of town near Cider Creek Park, a place that I haven’t been to in years. I didn’t even tell Ryan that I was leaving, just Dana who promised to cover my shifts. She said that I don’t even have to make it up to her after I told her about Ryan putting his creepy hands all over me.
My parents' own a cabin back there. Dad goes there once in a while, especially now that he’s retired, but I’m sure it’s to get away from Mom. I don’t think retirement is working in their favor. They seem to fight a lot more now.
I stop at a gas station and then I’m on my way. It feels good to be on the open road. I ignore the dusty smell from inside the car as I open the window and let in the fresh air from the outside. I laugh to myself as I sit back and see the
vacationers and travelers, all of them going their own way. I don’t have to think about Ryan’s creepy behavior and fucking me over by paying me less, and most of all, I put all thoughts of Eric to the back of my mind.
The cabin’s small, and it doesn’t take long for me to get there. Once I do, I run around like a little kid to see the same one bedroom, open space basic kitchen and living room. As a kid, it used to be heaven because I would spend as much time outside as possible, and I hardly noticed that the inside was so small. I’ve got a few snacks that’ll keep me going through the night as well as my favorite book, Sense & Sensibility by Jane Austen. It’s a bit tattered in spite of all the care I’ve given it over the years.
I’ve moved so much that I’ve forgotten it at times. But it feels like a little slice of heaven as I think about my night. I’ll go to town and get a bottle of wine. A couple of days in peace and tranquility is just what I need right now.
I send a quick text to Dana from my iPhone to let her know where I am and then I turn my phone off. I have two days to myself, and I intend to spend every minute of it in peace. No phone calls from any of the creeps in my life, both Eric and Ryan.
It’s amazing how time flies when you’re enjoying yourself instead of worrying. I can’t believe that I’m already near my apartment, I’m a couple of blocks away. If I could afford it I would have stayed a little longer, but my bills are something that I can’t run from. As soon as I get in, I’ll text Dana again so that she knows I’m alive, and then I’ll hit the sack.
That’s when I freeze at the sight of Eric standing outside my apartment waiting for me.
Holy crap!
As soon as I park, I don’t hesitate in telling him exactly what’s on my mind.
“What are you doing here?”
He smiles. “I came to see you. I know things haven’t been going smoothly for us lately, but there’s something that I really need to say.”
I nod, and I notice there’s something behind his back. His arms are hidden, whereas when I saw him standing on the steps outside my block, I was sure that he had a box in his hand.
