“Why did you … put her here?” Shannon stumbles over her words.
“She’s my daughter. She’s not a nameless, lifeless person. Give your mother the honor of a place to be remembered. Give yourself the respect for surviving your life with her, Shannon.” My voice is shaking but strong. “Release the weight of the world. Let the past go and give in to whatever your future may be. Your mother had a name. Tilly, Jayne—whatever you wish to put on the stone, even if you just want Mom. Just give something to the woman who gave you what she could.”
Shannon nods as tears fill her eyes, and for the first time, I feel like we are bonding and connecting.
“I’m sorry for what I said, Amy.”
“No apologies necessary. I want you to know I’m stronger than I look. Always understand, with me and with Frisco, you can say what you need to say, even if it hurts. We may not agree, and we may correct you, but Shannon, you have a voice. Don’t feel trapped. You are free.”
My words seem to sink in as she drops to her knees beside me and traces the letters on my daughter’s tombstone.
“Free,” she whispers, and I smile softly, releasing the weight I have carried for far too long.
“Yes, Shannon, we’re free.”
Security
“Talk to me,” Doll orders while looking over the menu in front of her. “Never mind. Don’t talk yet. I need a drink. Momma needs a time the fuck out.” The blonde bombshell laughs to herself.
“Tell me about it, sister.” Sass chuckles back at her lifelong best friend.
Tripp and Doll got into town early yesterday, tonight she is leaving BW, her son, home with Tripp and Roundman. She wants a girls’ night at the beach, and she’s getting it. Sass left Red, her son, with Tank and picked me up.
Waving like a loon, they get our waitress to come over.
“Jack and Coke, and keep it coming,” Doll says with a smile.
“Damn, girl.” Sass laughs.
“Shit, you know you need that, too. Double that up, sister, and make it quick.” Doll looks at me. “Ya know, if you wanna drink, I’m sure we can get the boys to pick us up so you don’t have to drive, Amy.”
“I’m crazy enough in my own head without alcohol. Y’all have fun. I’ll get drunk on the honey croissants here. How about that?”
We all order our food, and then Doll looks back at me. “All right, now talk to me.”
“Frisco has a daughter,” I begin, and she laughs.
“I know that, girl. We know you’ve been claimed, too. We want to know what the silver-haired man is working with.” Doll makes a disgusted face. “Never mind. No, we don’t. He’s, like, old enough to be one of our dads. I mean, I know some people like the older man thing … if the silver-tongued wizard works for you.”
Sass laughs loudly. “Frisco isn’t like our dads. He’s Amy’s man. We’re happy for you.” She spins her straw around in her glass. “Silver-tongued wizard. What the fuck you been smoking, Doll?”
“I’ve needed adult time. My words aren’t coming right. It’s all about colors and letters. Gotta teach the little Hellions early. Did you know some people say you need to look into preschool before they are even born? Sass, we seriously haven’t done this!”
“Calm down, girl. Drink up. You need it.” I laugh at her freaked-out expression.
“Then give up the goods, girl!” Doll quickly takes the conversation back to me. “What is it like to be an ol’ lady to Frisco the gypsy who wouldn’t be tied down?”
I shrug. “I didn’t expect it, but I guess, when you have been through everything we have, it was bound to happen.”
“Destiny, fate, cupid—whatever it is, you two damn sure work together,” Doll says before throwing back her drink. “Tripp shows no signs of slowing down.” She winks. “If Frisco can still work it as hard and long as Tripp or Tank, then this gives us hope for our futures.”
I laugh. “Are you drunk?”
“Tipsy.” She motions for the waitress to bring her another. “It’s been too long. Tessie and the ladies in Catawba are nice, and I love Lux to death, but they are so serious all the damn time. Tessie wants quiet nights at home with her boys, and Lux is too busy jumping Rex every chance she can. They don’t care to have girl time. While I love my boys, I have a testosterone overloaded house. Even the damn dog Tripp got is a male.”
“Move here, and we can leave the guys with kid duty more often,” Sass says.
“In the works!” Doll squeals, and Sass and I both look at each other.
“Now you need to be the one to talk!” I throw back at her.
She leans forward, getting serious with a hint of excitement. “Dad called Tripp. Said we were needed here. That’s all we know. Tripp told me to prepare to move the transport office here, or turn it over to someone else to handle the calls for Rex.”
“Your dad okay?” Sass asks.
“As far as we know. He hasn’t acted any different; just called and said some shit was changing and Tripp needed to be on the coast long-term.”
Looking down at my plate, I nervously fiddle with my napkin. My appetite is suddenly gone.
The waitress happens to arrive before the girls notice my hesitation.
“What’s wrong, Amy?” Doll questions, being the observant one.
“It’s nothing.”
“With Sass, it would be nothing. With you, it’s something.”
“There is nothing you can’t tell us,” Sass adds before biting into one of the pastries in front of us.
“Frisco came home and said things were changing.”
“Pillow talk.” Doll laughs. “Don’t feel bad about pillow talk, Amy. Frisco isn’t going to tell you anything that will get him in trouble or put you in any danger. I love your loyalty to your man, but just like with him, you have security in the ol’ ladies.”
“That’s not it, y’all.” I blow out a breath, fighting back the anxiety. “He took off his cut.”
Sass drops the croissant ungracefully onto her plate, while Doll’s eyes go wild.
“What did he say, exactly?”
“He said things have changed. He’s got a family now. We were talking with Shannon about her mother and having a service, and things got … intense. When it was over, Frisco left for a few hours. He came home, and his cut was off, left somewhere before he came back to the house. I haven’t seen it anywhere.”
“Shit,” Sass says before downing her drink.
“He told me he wouldn’t be in the shop anymore. He’s calling it retirement.”
Doll and Sass look at each other.
“No,” Doll whispers.
“But you’re still working,” Sass adds, knowing I haven’t missed a day. “So you’re still with the club.”
“Yes, he said the Hellions are still family; he just needs time with Shannon.” I fight back the tears. “It’s all so new to me—to us. What if he needs time for just them without me?” I let my insecurities out.
Sass squeezes my hand as Doll studies me.
“Okay, I’ve got this,” Doll pipes up proudly. “Tonight, Tripp is gonna get the blowjob of his life! When he is right there, I’ll stop and ask questions. There’s no way I won’t have all the answers by morning.”
“You are awfully confident!” Sass jokes.
“My mouth has always been my superpower.”
I relax, finding comfort in the camaraderie. I know everything is changing for Frisco and me, but with the Hellions, we have always had security.
“Service for Tilly—sorry,” I correct, “Jayne is tomorrow.”
“Oh, honey,” Sass croons. “We’ll be there to help you, Frisco, and his daughter through it.”
“I don’t know if there is a way to help us through any of this, but the support is truly appreciated,” I tell the ladies honestly.
Today is the day. I go over the clothing in my closet. that I have, in no way, nearly filled, even though the space is small. My options are limited. Then again, is there a right or wrong outfit to wear
to your mother’s funeral?
I am a mess. This whole thing is a mess. How did I go from hating Paul “Vic” Watson to somehow wishing he was still here? If Paul were still around, would I be able to have my normal life back?
It all happened too fast. One day I was at home with my mother, simply counting my time until college, and now I am living in a completely different state with a bunch of strangers.
Today I bury her, Fury MC, and my past. Can it be so easy? Fury was a part of me, and I guess some of that will always stay with me, but I have learned one hard lesson: No one will look out for me but me.
I am numb as I put on a nice charcoal gray blouse and black pencil skirt. Pulling my hair back into a tight bun, I apply light makeup, unsure how I will react today.
Frisco sat down with me as we decided on a casket, and her gravestone. We decided on a graveside service since it’s not like my mom had friends or family to attend. He also allowed me to choose her burial site. I don’t know if Amy was relieved or disappointed I didn’t bury my mother beside her daughter.
I make my way out of my room, surprised to find Amy dressed for the service in a very flattering and form-fitting black dress that falls to just below her knees. The deep V-neck accentuates her breasts, and her hair is pinned up in a way that, if I hadn’t known we had a funeral to attend, I would think she was ready for a date night with my dad.
I thought this would be just him and me together, laying the past to rest. Apparently, it’s the three of us, along with the funeral director.
While part of me wants Amy to stay home because she didn’t know my mom, the lady has been nothing but nice to me. Throughout all the chaos, she’s been the one to calm me and ease my fears.
“Ready?” Frisco asks, watching me.
“As I’ll ever be,” I reply as I blow out a heavy breath.
I still don’t know if I have come to terms with everything. I did use the laptop Frisco gave me to reach out to a friend from school. My hometown is full of chatter about the clubhouse burning down, and there hasn’t been a sign of Fury MC anywhere. The ol’ ladies are quiet and moving on, but no one is talking about what did or didn’t happen.
I can only imagine.
My old house has a “for sale” sign in the yard. Frisco did say that once it sold, I would have a college fund or money to start my life however I wish. He doesn’t care what I do with it, but he did promise me that he has a security fund for my needs so I don’t have to worry.
Security. What a joke. Can I rely on Frisco? No. I need to rely on myself.
It all works into my escape plan. Bury my mom, wait my time for the house to sell, get the money, and build my life anywhere but in North Carolina. I may be born to a Hellion, but it doesn’t make me one.
Following Amy and Frisco out of their home, I climb into her car silently. The ride isn’t far until we pull up. I don’t know how to react.
Motorcycles line the drive to the cemetery. I see men in black jeans and leather cuts with women in black as well. The Hellions certainly understand mourning. Why mourn my mother, though?
I instantly get angry. Maybe I shouldn’t. Maybe I don’t have the right, but I do, nonetheless.
Pushing it all down like I have for almost my entire life, I get out of the car and make my way to stand under the green tent in front of the hole my mother will be placed in. I don’t speak to anyone, and I don’t look them in the eye. I remain focused on the reason we are here today.
My mother is dead.
She may not have been the best mother, but as Amy said, she was still my mother.
I blow out a deep breath, trying to put it all into perspective.
The black hearse pulls to a stop, lining up with the row we are at. The driver gets out and moves to the back door. When it’s opened, the Hellions immediately flank each side. Men I don’t even know proceed to carry my mother’s coffin to her final resting place, and I see red.
“No!” I screech. “Put her down! Don’t you heathens touch her!” I rush from the tent and to the casket, but two arms firmly pull me back as I scream.
“Stop your temper tantrum,” Frisco barks in my ear.
“She’s my mother. She hated the Hellions. They took you from her. They took everything from her!” I wail, not carrying about the crazed expressions I am getting from the women or the angry faces of the men as I wildly flail around in my father’s arms. “You’re all scum! You should know she hated every single one of you. Don’t mourn her now. Don’t you dare mourn her now!”
Sass steps forward and a blonde puts her arm out to stop her and steps forward herself. I still in my father’s arms, ready to take whatever shit any of them want to give me.
Amy steps between us, covering me from the stares of the club members as they hold my mother’s casket steady but don’t advance.
“Let her be, Doll.” Amy’s voice is steady and confident as she stands in front of us as a shield from their scrutiny. “Let us talk.”
“For Frisco, she gets a pass,” Doll says, moving to the side to look me in the eye. “For Frisco, you get one pass. Your mom got her pass. She chose to head to Fury. You disrespect this club, its members, or what we stand for again, it’s not the men you need to worry about, young one. I’ll be the one to give you the lesson your mother obviously skipped in respect.”
“Doll,” Amy quips, stifling the blonde. “Let me have this.”
Turning to face me, their club at her back, my father’s woman stands eye-to-eye with me.
“Spit on her life. Spit on her grave.” I tip my chin up in challenge. “Spit on her child.”
“Don’t make this harder than it already is,” she warns.
“There isn’t a single person here who is sad to see my mother gone.”
“You’re wrong.” It’s Frisco who speaks.
“I know it’s hard to believe,” Amy tries to get through to me. “While your mother made mistakes, at one time, she was a part of this family. Today isn’t about the bad blood between Fury and the Hellions. Today is a celebration of her life, a memorial of the woman she was to you, and closure for those who she both loved and hurt.”
A lady with red hair steps forward. She looks very much like Sass, but older.
She extends her hand to me. “Mary Alice,” she says softly as Danza takes her back. “I knew your mother.”
“Were you friends?” I ask, curious about her time with the Hellions.
“Not exactly,” Mary Alice replies honestly. “Your mom didn’t want that kind of bond with any of the women.”
“Fuck you, then.” I start to pull away from Frisco, who continues to hold me in place.
Danza steps up to me. “Your cunt of a mother set me up. She cost me years in prison.”
“Danza,” Mary Alice scolds, pulling him back, and he steps behind her once again. Turning to look me in the eye, she continues, “I came today so that I can say thank you to your mother.”
“What the hell?” Danza doesn’t hide his shock.
“Life with a biker isn’t easy. Life with an original is hell at times. There isn’t a manual that tells us what to do, who to trust, or how to deal with the lifestyle. Danza wasn’t always the best of husbands. Your mother, she made a bad decision, one that cost my husband his freedom for a time.” Tears fill her eyes. “I’m thankful now that we had the time apart. I can’t say I’ve done everything right as a wife, a mother, or an ol’ lady; but I can say that the space was good for us in the long run. We’re settled in life now. Things are good. Your mom taught me to value what I had, have, and desire.
“Her time with Frisco was consumed in the love she had for the man behind you. She didn’t always do things the right way, but she did them her way. She was never ashamed of who she was in this club or how she felt about Frisco. Those are qualities about your mother to honor today. We may not agree with everything she said or did, and yes, some here may have some resentment, but today, Shannon, we come to lay it all to rest.” She reaches out and squeezes
my hand. “Can we lay her to rest and have security in the future from the lessons she gave us all, both good and bad?”
Exhaustion engulfs me as the emotions become too much. They just want an opportunity to lay it to rest.
“You see?” Danza speaks. “You got family, Shannon. Frisco has your back, and Amy has your front. No one is here to hurt you, upset you, or disrespect you. We have a history with your mother and it wasn’t always pretty. In the end, we’re here to lay to rest a woman who was once our family—the good, the bad, and the in-between we had with her. She once believed in our colors, our lifestyle, and our freedoms. I may not like what she did, but Mary Alice is right; she was never once ashamed of Frisco, or her place with him. I can honor that.” He nods.
A large, tall man with long hair and a goatee steps up from behind the crowd. The only thing separating him from me is Amy. His patch says “President” and “Roundman.” I remember my mother wishing Fury had a man more like him in charge. In one of her ramblings, she once said he was an asshole who ran his club with a firm hand, but he was always fair. Will he be fair to her memory now?
Amy looks up into the man’s eyes. “Can we please have a moment? Let us settle her, Roundman. I’ve never asked a single thing of your club. I’ve done my part to make peace after many mistakes, but please give her this. Give me this. Let the anger go.”
He smiles, though there is fatigue in his eyes and a paleness to his face. I wonder if he’s sad, tired, aged from his lifestyle, or sick. Whatever it is, something is weighing heavily on this man.
“No, step aside,” he says firmly to Amy. “Young one needs a history lesson. You have my word, after I’m done, if she needs a moment, then you’ll have it.”
Amy doesn’t speak; she simply drops her head and moves to stand beside me. With her arm coming around my shoulder, she whispers, “You aren’t alone, and they don’t mean to upset you, Shannon.”
“Do you know why your father, Danza, and I ride together? Do you know how the Haywood’s Landing Hellions came to be?”
Final Ride: Hellions Motorcycle Club (Hellions Ride Book 9) Page 9
