It’s not that my mom was a bad mom. On the contrary, she did the best she could with what she had. I feel at peace with her loss. Sure, there were times I wish my childhood had been different. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t think the grass is greener on the other side so to speak. My mother did the best she could with the circumstances she lived. I have to be okay with it, not for her but for me.
Amy comes in, jarring me from my thoughts. She looks at me and smiles.
“Amy, I’m—”
“No apologies,” she interrupts. “You are an adult. It’s been an adjustment for everyone. I’ve had my own fair share of times I’ve wanted to run from life. Frisco and I are always here for you, and there shouldn’t be anything to run from. You aren’t a prisoner. I’m sorry I panicked this morning and that we haven’t gotten to the place where we can talk so you don’t have to take off in the early morning hours.” She sits on the loveseat across from me.
“I did leave a note.”
Pulling the crumpled paper from her pocket, she laughs, holding it up. “I saw that after I called the police.”
I gasp. “Oh, my God, I’m in deep shit. I stole your car.”
“No, you borrowed it and returned it. You are an adult. Frisco and I need to treat you as such.” She pauses. “Do you want to talk about it? We seemed fine, so is there a reason you felt you had to leave? Did I do something wrong?”
I rush to her side. “No, no, no. It wasn’t you. It was me and a weird sense of loyalty to my own word to myself, if that even makes sense.”
She wraps her arm around my shoulders. “More than you know, sweetheart.”
“Amy,” I say softly, “where do we go from here?”
“The sky is the limit, so reach for the stars. What do you want to do? Where do you want to go?”
“Will Frisco hate me if I can’t live in this lifestyle?”
She doesn’t answer right away, only making my nerves climb higher and higher as I stand on the edge of an emotional cliff.
“I don’t think that man is capable of hating you or many people. He isn’t built that way. He’s not a man of violence, anger, or aggression, and you should know he never has been. He is a man of honor, loyalty, and family. Yes, he will protect what’s his, but he will never hold your own choices against you, and neither will I.”
“So we really can start over somewhere together as our own family?” I ask, suddenly hopeful that we can have a new beginning.
“I have no ties here, other than the club. I suppose, if Frisco wants to leave, we could. I want you to know, Shannon, I’m not trying to replace your mother. I just want to be your friend. You aren’t a little girl; you are a young woman with the whole world in front of you. I don’t want to hold you back, and I want you to know there isn’t a single thing in this world you owe me or Frisco, or the Hellions if you are even thinking it.”
“I just want a chance for us to be. I like you, Amy. Frisco and you have this calm presence together I’ve never had before. I would like to have time with you guys, but I don’t want to have anything tied to any club.”
She leans back against the loveseat, pulling me with her and stroking my hair in a way my mother did when I was little. My mother said it would soothe her as much as it would me.
“One thing at a time. First, it’s good to have you home. Second, Frisco has to handle some club stuff, and I don’t know how long that will take. When he gets home, we’ll sort out the next steps. Rome wasn’t built in a day, after all.”
I yawn, relaxing into her.
“You’ve had a long day. Are you hungry? Would you rather go to bed?”
I think for a moment, and then decide to go with my gut. “Are you staying up for Frisco?”
She nods. “My instincts tell me there is something big going on. I don’t know what, and I don’t need to know. I do need to keep a check on my man, so yes, I’m gonna wait up.”
“Can I wait up with you?” I look at the television. “Maybe we can watch a chick flick and sample some of the caramel drizzle brownies.”
“Sounds like a plan, but I really like suspense and action more than a sappy love story, so for each chick flick you get, I get an action-packed adventure behind it, deal?”
“Deal!”
So Long My Friend
The gray sky mimics the mood we are all in. It’s a quiet, still day in Haywood’s Landing. I stand outside of the clubhouse, watching as not a single cloud can be seen, just one continuous blur of gray. The overcast seems as if even the angels in the Heavens have gone into their own mourning.
The loss of a Hellion cuts deep, but this one cuts the deepest.
Danza comes to my side. “It’s about that time,” he says, looking out into the space before us.
“They get the trailer hooked safe?”
He nods.
“Then I reckon all that’s left is the final ride.” I run my hands down the sides of my well-worn leather cut.
“Been a long ride, brother. Damn sure ain’t been easy. From crashing on my couch to crashing our bikes, we’ve never been apart since this all started so long ago.” Danza tells me what I already know.
We both look up when we hear a noise to our right. Tripp stands beside Roundman’s bike. The Harley Davidson Screaming Eagle in red and black is polished, the pipes have been muffled for today, and it’s haunting us all.
Danza helped me load it on the trailer this morning and bring it over from Roundman’s house while Amy met me here and Shannon stayed home.
I watch the man who will soon be patched as the club president traces his finger over the bike.
Danza and I give him his space, giving him time to make peace with his mentor, his prez, his father-in-law.
Rex comes out of the clubhouse and joins his cousin, Hellions’ brother, and his Catawba Prez beside the bike.
Since the time is almost here, Danza and I make our way toward him.
“Load it back up,” Tripp orders Rex.
“No.” Danza steps up. “Give Doll the honor. Give the man the respect.” He nods to Tripp, who I know he respects but is pushing to his own personal limit.
“Can’t put her on this bike. Not my place,” Tripp says, keeping his emotion-filled eyes hidden behind his sunglasses, but we all feel it. “Her dad’s bike. This club’s president’s bike. Not my place.”
Danza steps up to the man and slides his own sunglasses up onto his head. Tripp follows suit. His eyes are red and glassed over with unshed tears.
“Honor the man,” Danza says, fighting back his own emotions.
“He’s more than her dad, Danza. He’s the only dad Rex and I had after Pops passed. I can’t give her what she needs, and I damn sure have no business sitting in that man’s seat. I’m not even half the man he was.”
“You’re right, and you’re wrong.” I step up as Rex steps back. “Other than you, there isn’t another man ready to fill his shoes. There isn’t a single man in this club he would want in that seat other than you. There isn’t another man in this club with more honor, loyalty, and respect than you, Talon ‘Tripp’ Crews. And you should know”—I roll my sunglasses onto the top of my head to look the man in the eye—“next sermon, it’s his prez patch you’re gonna be wearing. Give him the honor, give his daughter the moment, give him the respect to have his bike take its final ride with the man he trusts with it, all taking the lead with the little girl who owned his heart, and the club who will always be at his back in tow.”
Danza wraps Tripp into a hug. I can hear him as he whispers, “Blaine ‘Roundman’ Reklinger was my best friend, my brother, and my prez. We’ve talked a lot, Tripp. We’ve done a lot of living, seen our sharing of dying. The time is here. Now, boy, you’re gonna climb on my man’s bike, and I’m gonna take the pipe covers off, and we’re gonna ride, loud, proud, and lay our brother down right. You feel me?”
With tears streaming down both men’s faces, they separate on a nod. Rex then rips the tip covers off, and Tripp climbs on the bike.
I nod my respect to the man in front of me then make my way to check the frame that has the trailer attached to the bike and look at the black casket sitting in front of me.
“The time is here, my friend. This is not good-bye, but rather, until I see you again. Ride loud, ride proud, and ride the fuck on, my brother,” I whisper to the air around me as Tripp cranks the bike and twists the throttle.
The engine rumbles. He twists again, and it screams all our pain.
I look up to see the rest of the club lining up on their bikes behind him. Danza and I will flank the casket to the left and right like we have done for the man more times than I can count. Except, this will be the final ride we take together.
There is peace in the pain.
With an air salute to the man who was, I roll my sunglasses down and make my way to my own bike just as Doll steps outside. She walks to her father’s casket and gives it a single kiss before she climbs onto the trailer and lays his cut over the top, pinning it on the sides. Then she looks up at the sky.
“I love you, Momma. Take care of my daddy.” She looks around at the club she was born into. “Hellions, we took a hit, but we are strong.” Tears streak her face, but she doesn’t even try to wipe them away. “Today we give our love, our respect, and stand together for a man who believed in each and every single one of us. Rip those covers off. Ride loud, Hellions, ride proud, and let’s ride on.” She moves to her man who is sitting on her father’s bike and slides on, raising her hands with her pointer fingers directed at the sky.
Following the woman who I have watched grow from a little girl, I lean down and uncover my own pipes, just as Danza twists his throttle beside me. The steady tick and the distinct rumble fills the air as the ol’ ladies climb on behind their men, Amy settling in behind me.
Raising my left hand to the sky, I point up before I ball a fist and spin it in a circle for Tripp to pull away.
It’s a slow ride. It’s a quiet ride. Not a single radio plays, just the sounds of our bikes going down the road, one by one, side by side, brother to brother, every charter in two states present, all giving tribute to the man who gave each one of us our own place in this world. We even have a few cars behind us with people we have done business with over the years, including Marco and the boys from his gym who drove up from Florida to pay their respects.
The black casket never jars, never moves, and never loses Roundman’s cut as we make our way to what will be his final resting place.
When Tripp stops, we all line up beside him, each person taking to the right or left based on how we fell into the drive.
Amy dismounts and stands at the back of my bike, and I give her a short kiss before Danza and I take our places on the trailer to carry my brother’s casket down to rest beside his wife.
Tripp escorts Doll down to her seat under the tent. Mary Alice and Amy follow behind with Sass, Lux, and the other women. Rex, Tripp’s VP from Catawba, flanks his prez at the rear, right until the women are all seated. Then they make their way back to the casket.
With Tripp at the head, Rex moves to Roundman’s feet, as Tank, Ruby, Boomer, and Shooter all take a bar to carry the casket down off the custom trailer. We walk in line as Tripp leads us down and locks the coffin in place in the equipment to lower it.
Tonka, the Hellion who is a former Navy Chaplain, presides over the service. Most of it passes in a blur as I never take a seat. Danza and I remain standing on either side of our brother while we watch each person nod their head in respect, shed their tears in loss, and smile in love.
“There is nothing more final on this earth than death,” Tonka continues with the ceremony. “Death is a step in a different direction, one where the past and the future are no longer a burden on a man’s soul.” He places his hand over the cut resting on the casket. “Your ride goes on, Prez. It’s different, but the ride will continue on. We will continue on. Today we say good-bye to a damn good man, and he lives on in each of us.”
Tonka looks over his shoulder at me, and I step forward.
“Ride until we die, Roundman gave his all to this club. We have once again found ourselves at a fork in the road, brother.” I look at his worn leather cut then look out at Amy. “You’ve led us for many years, always in the right direction. Now the time has come when we are forced to part ways.” I blow out a breath, trying to keep my emotions down.
I run my hands over my cut. “Every patch has been earned. Every challenge accepted. From youth into parenthood, and damn, even grandparenthood, we have done it all together. Without you, my brother, my prez, my friend, I just don’t see it the same.” I look at the sun, which has just come out. “The road ahead is not yet paved, the path isn’t always clear, but the time has come that we let it lay to rest with you.”
My hands tremble as I pull the cut back and let it fall from my shoulders. I look at the black casket with the Hellions’ insignia on the back of his cut. Then facing the sky, I let out a sigh. Folding my cut, I step to face the coffin.
“Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, you’ve always had my trust.” I toss my cut on top of the casket beside his own. “Ride until we die, brother. The originals begin and end with you.” I step back and nod my head at Danza who steps up.
“The man makes the cut, not the cut makes the man.” He takes his cut off, tracing the insignia on the back. “Ride until we die, brother. The originals begin and end with you.
“I vow to you that I will watch BW grow into a man you’ll be proud to carry your name. I vow to remember the good times, the bad times, and throw back a drink or two for you, my brother, my prez, my friend. Today, we lay to rest a legacy. Today, we ride on a path unmarked. We’ll take every curve with pride, with loyalty, and with brotherhood.”
Danza and I move side-by-side toward Doll.
“The man made the cut mean everything. You were the light of his life, Delilah. We’ll all miss the man, but we carry on with the traits he believed in, and we ride on for the club as a whole.”
She nods at me as tears continue to fall.
Danza stands in front of Tripp. “When the club first began, Dia sewed the president patch on the cut you see over there. Today, as the final two Originals and as VP of the Hellions MC, I give you this president patch, not only for the Haywood’s Landing Hellions, but for our charters and chapters everywhere. When you leave here, I ask that Delilah sew this patch on your cut. Call your sermon, Tripp, command your club, and control the chaos with honor, loyalty, and brotherhood always first.”
I extend my hand, holding the patch for Danza, who takes it and passes it on to Tripp.
On a nod, we then step back and allow Tonka to lower the casket into the ground.
“Rest in paradise, Roundman,” Danza and I say together as we watch the box settle into its final resting place beside his ol’ lady and one love.
I’m exhausted as Amy comes to stand beside me. Danza and Mary Alice exit first, hand in hand, followed by Amy and I. We pass by Roundman’s bike, and my chest tightens with the loss of my friend.
In a matter of moments, Danza and I are both pulling out of the cemetery. Today was our final ride with the Hellions MC, and today we ride out as Rhett and Richard after we say good-bye to a brother, a long-time friend, and each other.
As Danza twists the throttle to pull away, I look up at the sky again. Then I look at his taillight, and whisper, “So long, my friend.”
Where We Begin
The ride is different. I have been behind this man more than once over the years. The feel of his leather cut against my forearms as I hold on was natural.
Now it’s gone.
Pulling up to our house, I feel the fatigue of the emotions taking over. Roundman will be missed.
With everything that has gone on we haven’t had a chance to talk about the future. Frisco buried his cut today; what does that mean? How will he take Shannon not wanting to be in the club life? What are we going to do to keep our family together?
Family.
&
nbsp; The one thing I have always craved, and now I have it.
I climb off the bike, removing my helmet and shaking out my hair as Frisco does the same. There is half of me that wants to reach out and touch him, soothe the ache I know he feels. The other half of me feels like maybe he needs some space.
Before I can walk off, he reaches out and runs his hands up and down my arms.
“Amy, before we go inside, I wanna talk to you.”
“Okay,” I say, stepping closer to him. What do we need to discuss without Shannon?
“Shannon,” he begins, and that at least tells me why we are talking outside. “This life isn’t for her. Baby, you ever think about starting over?”
I look deep into his eyes and get lost in all the emotions. “Your daughter, she’s part of you. She’s a piece you have had missing for far too long. In all this time, you have stood by me at my worst and what I hope has become my best, Frisco. I don’t know that I want to start over and lose what we have built, but I don’t want to be without you. I know Shannon needs away from all of this. I know she needs a new beginning. You and me, we’ve got us. We’ve had us before there was an us, but what we have with Shannon is a family of our own making.”
He smiles. “Yeah, we sure do.”
“Remember when I first asked you how you could trust men who had nothing tying them to you?”
He nods.
“You told me blood doesn’t make people good or bad, blood doesn’t promise a tie, blood doesn’t give you loyalty. You said, it’s something you gotta build, you gotta dig deep and find.”
“Sure did,” he replies, never breaking our stare.
“Baby, we’ve built something. We’ve dug deep, and we’ve found it. This is where we begin, and the road we take may not yet be on the map of life, but it’s ours to make.”
“You sayin’ you gonna ride with me for life?”
Rolling up on the balls of my feet with my lips brushing against his, I whisper, “I don’t think my heart knows any other way. Where you go, I go. This is where we begin a new life, one where we watch your beautiful daughter find her place, and one where we build for ourselves a family of our own, where it’s not blood that ties us, but love that bonds us.”
Final Ride: Hellions Motorcycle Club (Hellions Ride Book 9) Page 12
