by Aiden Bates
Jamie pulled his phone out, laughing quietly to himself. “Writing his own news article. An ‘exposé. Priceless.”
“Who are you calling?” Ryan squinted, trying to read Jamie’s phone.
“Mom, who do you think?" Jamie gave him a funny look, the kind he’d give someone who asked what air was. “She literally owns every newspaper, Internet provider, and television station in Culvertown. If anyone’s working with this jackass, they’ll rethink their position before midnight.”
Liam nodded vigorously as he reached for his own phone. “I’ll call Cordelia. She’s the new lawyer,” he explained to Ryan. “She married Desmond, for reasons that still escape me, but that’s not my problem.
“She’s a goddamn shark is what she is. She’ll have this Peter guy begging to be able to leave town and sign those divorce papers.”
Ryan held up a hand. “I can’t afford to pay for that kind of lawyer, guys. And Mom’s not going to pull any strings for me. Or did you forget the part where she actually pulled strings to make it worse for me in Ely?”
Jamie paled, but Liam wrapped an arm around Ryan’s shoulder. “I know. I know, Ryan. And she feels terrible about that.
“She didn’t think it would be as bad as all that. She should have, don’t get me wrong. She should have known. She should have thought things through, or at least read a book about prison, for fuck’s sake; but she can’t undo it.”
Jamie swallowed hard. “To be honest, it’s going to be a long time before I can forget what she did,” he confessed. “I mean, we’re talking years, if ever. She wanted to be sure you understood that there were ‘consequences,’ but that doesn’t justify a goddamn thing."
He balled his hands into fists at his side. “But anyway. She can’t ever make it up to you, but she’ll want to do the right thing here. Even if she didn’t, she’d be pretty compelled to make an example out of this guy, if only to show anyone else thinking the same thing that it’s not a great idea to try to target Roscoes like that." He raised an eyebrow and started texting.
Liam got a text as Jamie spoke, presumably from this Cordelia person. “That’s what I’m talking about. We’re going to go find this Peter guy and have a little chat with him, right now." He picked his head up. “Want to come with? Could be a good time.”
Ryan gave it some thought, but he declined. “Thanks, guys, but I have to pass. I’m still angry, and I don’t want to lose control of myself with him. Even though he did an awful thing, we all know exactly who would wind up going to jail. And it wouldn’t be my dirtbag husband. Besides, I’ve got something I need to do.”
Jamie and Liam both shrugged. “We’ll keep you posted,” Jamie promised, and they left. Ryan paused for a moment. Was he really ready for the next step?
Probably not. It had to be done anyway. He locked up the shop, grabbed his bike, and headed back to the hospital.
It wasn’t hard to sneak back up to Tommy’s room. It was yet another skill he’d learned in prison, sneaking around into (and out of) places he wasn’t supposed to be.
Escape was unlikely and pointless, but it wasn’t hard to slink off from whatever he was supposed to be doing to take care of business back there. And it wasn’t hard to slink between the wards now, even though visiting hours were long past over. It was all in the attitude, and avoiding people who might challenge him.
Tommy was alone when Ryan got there. Ryan wasn’t sure exactly where his parents were. He hoped his mother was off with Jamie and Liam, helping to address the Peter problem. He wouldn’t count on it, but now that Ryan had Anthony, he supposed it wasn’t a big deal.
He hadn’t been ashamed to claim Tommy’s sins for his own back in the old days, and he hadn’t done anything wrong with Peter. He had nothing to be ashamed of now. As long as they could make Peter sign the stupid papers, he’d be content. His reputation didn’t mean anything to him.
His father had probably headed out for a good, stiff whiskey. Ryan couldn’t blame him. His only objection came from the fact of Tommy’s being left alone.
Tommy’s yellowed eyes were open, and he stared dully at the ceiling. He looked even worse, now that he was awake, than he had when he was unconscious. Tears leaked from his eyes, and he was in soft restraints so he couldn’t wipe them away. It must have been uncomfortable for him.
A sheet had been pulled up to his chest, but Ryan could see the hospital johnny from his chest to his shoulders. It wasn’t a good color for his jaundiced skin. His hair was now damp with sweat as well as oil, and he made a wan attempt to wave.
Ryan’s gorge rose. Christ, Tommy was in bad shape. Tommy was always going to be in bad shape. Tommy kind of defined bad shape now. He remembered when they’d been kids, and the joy they’d found in simply working on cars together. Could Tommy ever find his way back to that kind of simple happiness?
“You’ve never liked hospitals,” Ryan remembered. He grabbed a chair and pulled it up to Tommy’s bedside. After a moment’s hesitation, he took Tommy’s hand.
He still resented what Tommy had done with the gift Ryan gave him, but he’d loved Tommy for decades. They were closer than brothers, even with all this time and pain between them.
Ryan was older now, and wiser. He knew better how to help his cousin, or at least which sacrifices were reasonable and which were not. But he still loved him, and he would help him as much as he could.
“No." Tommy closed his eyes for a second. “It’s the smell. It’s the disinfectant they use, I think. And what the disinfectant is covering up.”
Ryan couldn’t remember a time when Tommy hadn’t slurred his words. He gave Tommy a squeeze. “We’ll have you out of here in a few days, I think.”
“No." Tommy sniffed. Ryan reached out with his free hand and grabbed a tissue. With Tommy’s hands restrained as they were, he needed Ryan to do such simple things as wipe his nose for him. It had to be humiliating. “I’m probably going to be here for a while. They sent in a doctor. I’m, ah. Well, medical detox. You know.”
Ryan did not know, at least not firsthand. He’d seen guys at Ely going through detox, though. Some of them hadn’t survived.
“It’s good that you’re in a place where they can help you,” he said after a brief shudder. “I’m not going to lie. It’s going to suck. But they’ll keep you safe and healthy while you deal with it.”
“That’s what they said." Tommy blinked a few times, hiding tears. “I’m so sorry, Ryan. I shouldn’t have let you go. Not in my place.
“I had no idea what I was asking for. I asked for help, and I accepted whatever you decided, but I didn’t think that would be the end of it, you know? I didn’t think it would go that far."
He let out a sob that tugged right at Ryan’s heart. “I figured Marianna would step in, keep you out of jail, but then that’s not what happened, and I’m just —”
“I know." Ryan patted his cousin’s hand. “I know, I understand.”
“Everything just kept spinning out of control." Tommy squirmed, like he couldn’t get comfortable. “But I couldn’t — I couldn’t stop. Every time I thought about you in there, I’d just get so … so … I mean, there’s not even a word for it.
“Guilt, depression, angry, sad, I don’t even know. And you, on top of my mom and my dad — I mean, they cut you out of everything. It wasn’t like you were dead, it was like you’d never been born. I couldn’t talk about you. No one could even mention your name.”
“I know." Ryan didn’t need to hear about this crap. It didn’t help. It didn’t make him feel any better. In fact, it just made him feel worse. How was he supposed to trust the brothers who kept saying everything was going to be better now, when he’d been erased?
He choked it down. He’d survived. He’d freaking conquered. This was Tommy’s time.
And when he thought about it, Tommy hadn’t been allowed to properly grieve for his parents, either. That had probably contributed to his later troubles more than anything else. Ryan had to let Tommy get it all out, or he’d j
ust keep making things worse. “It must have been hard.”
“Not as hard as it must have been for you." Tommy set his jaw. “I have to make it right, Ryan. Everything you did for me, I have to make it right."
He tried to sit up straighter, eyes burning with fervor. “I’ll go down to the police tomorrow. I’ll turn myself in. I’ll confess to everything, clear your name. Get your conviction vacated. The whole nine. You’ll be a truly free man, and I’ll pay for everything — ruining your life, killing that woman —”
Ryan smiled and shook his head. “I don’t need you to do that for me, Tommy. I never did.”
Tommy’s eyes widened. “But Ryan, you didn’t do anything wrong! This will fix your reputation —”
Ryan had to burst Tommy’s bubble. He didn’t want to do it, but he couldn’t let Tommy get himself so worked up, only to find it wasn’t feasible. “Tommy, my reputation never meant a damn thing to me anyway. And to be honest, you suffering in prison won’t take away the past ten years. You can’t give those back. What’s done is done."
Tommy started to cry again. “Ryan, how am I supposed to put things right for you?”
Ryan hadn’t taken his hand away. “Do you remember what I asked you to do, when I went in there?”
Tommy nodded, and sniffed loudly. “You asked me to get sober.”
“I did. But I don’t think that’s quite enough. I want you to get help — actual, real, proper help.
“I want you to get more than just help getting sober. I want you to find someplace that will help you to figure out all the reasons you’re using in the first place. I want you to find everything you’re running from, and I want you to get help dealing with it.
“I tried to be your support system, Tommy. I knew you were spiraling, and I tried to help you. But you know, I was a kid too. And hell, this emotional and mental stuff never was my strong suit."
He blew a raspberry, which got a tearful chuckle out of Tommy. “I’m going to make the time to find therapy, too. You’re not going to be alone in this. There’ll be some boundaries, and we’re going to learn about them together.
“But the only ‘payback’ I need, the only thing I wanted in the first place, is for you to turn things around and to find a happy, healthy life for yourself. Can you do that for me, Tommy?”
Tommy nodded. He was still crying, but he promised he would. Ryan believed him. He’d believed him before, but this time there were more people around to help him — help them both, really.
He could see, by the vital signs on Tommy’s monitors, that Tommy needed to sleep. He kissed Tommy’s forehead and stood up. “I’m going to take off. I’ll be back in the morning, okay? Remember, I love you. I’ll see you tomorrow."
Tommy managed a weak but sincere smile for him, and Tommy sneaked out of the hospital again. Just before he hopped onto his bike, he got a text from Anthony. Just woke up and you were gone. Is everything okay?
Ryan grinned. Getting there. Don’t move. I’m coming home.
Epilogue
Every Roscoe in Culvertown was at Jamie’s place. His place was big, but not big enough, and Anthony was already feeling a little crowded. Maybe that had something to do with the basketball sized mountain attached to the front of Anthony’s body.
He loved his baby. He was excited for his baby’s arrival. He didn’t even mind being pregnant.
He didn’t love trying to lug an extra forty pounds around.
Ryan found him and guided him over to the couch. “Sit down before you fall down, would you?” He kissed the top of Anthony’s head and curled his arm around his shoulders.
“Relax, Anthony. You don’t have to be the good host tonight, okay? All you have to do is sit back, unwind, and be radiant. Let Jamie be the host with the most.”
Anthony pretended to pout. “I’m not radiant. I’m manly as hell.” He rubbed his hand over his mammoth belly. “Maybe we should have done the shower last month, when I wasn’t the Great Nevada Land Whale.”
“Meh. We hadn’t finished renovations on the new house yet, and what would we have done with all the stuff?” He gestured to the crowd. “Looks like your mom is having fun.”
Anthony smiled. “It took her a while to settle down and be comfortable with the whole thing. In her world, the help doesn’t socialize with the bosses.” He watched as his mom carefully decorated a onesie as part of the shower festivities. Mom had always had an artistic side. She just hadn’t had time to let it show until her retirement.
“It’s a good thing she’s not ‘the help’ anymore, isn’t it?” Ryan chuckled. “Is she going to be okay with everyone drinking around her? I should’ve thought to ask before, but better late than never, I guess.”
Anthony laughed. “Yeah, she’s fine. As long as none of them are named ‘King’ or throwing punches, she’ll be okay.”
He rested his head on Ryan’s shoulder. He did that a lot, and he knew it. He should probably stop, but it was just so comfortable for him that he couldn’t make himself step back. “My God, I love you. Have I told you that today?”
“Only eight times. You’re slowing down, Anthony.” Ryan kissed the tip of Anthony’s nose. “I’ll blame the baby. Everyone gets slow at eight and a half months.”
“I’ll take your word for it.”
The door to Jamie’s townhouse opened, and Anthony almost dropped his tea. He’d thought every Roscoe in Culvertown was at the shower, but he’d left one very important person out. That one person was Marianna Roscoe, Ryan’s mother and Anthony’s mother-in-law. Anthony hadn’t seen her since that night at the hospital, when everything had finally come out.
She carried a pair of gifts, both wrapped beautifully, and an expression of the deepest misery on her face. She’d lost a lot of weight since Anthony had seen her last. She hadn’t had much to spare then, and now she looked almost skeletal.
Marianna didn’t say a word. Neither did anyone else. The music cut out, and everyone just stared. The tension in the room made Anthony’s baby squirm inside him, pressing its feet on his bladder in an obnoxious and uncomfortable way. Ryan, in particular, was frozen and silent.
Ryan had rebuilt his relationships with most of his relatives. Some were more open than others, but most of them had accepted the new reality and were willing to love him again.
Marianna hadn’t reached out, not once. Ryan didn’t talk about her often, but Anthony knew how deeply it cut his husband.
Marianna was here now. When she opened her mouth to speak, her voice sounded downright broken.
“Ryan,” she tried. She cleared her throat. “Ryan,” she tried again.
“I’ve been trying to reach out ever since that night. Trying, but failing. I couldn’t think of the words to say to make any of this better. I treated you terribly, long before you went away. As a child, you had a strong sense of yourself and a mind of your own, and I’d gotten some terrible advice. I thought the best way to parent you was to be stern and strict, which was the worst thing I could have done.
“The years I lost —”
It was the exact wrong thing she could have said. “The years you lost?” Ryan’s voice was a hiss, a whiplash cutting through the silence.
Anthony could have added a lot to that, but it wasn’t his place. This was Ryan’s fight with Marianna. She’d always been good to Anthony, after all.
Marianna bowed her head, meek and defeated. Anthony could feel Ryan softening beside him.
“It’s not your fault that you didn’t know the truth,” Ryan told her. She looked up at him with fresh hope in her eyes. “But you were way too quick to condemn me.”
Her eyes filled with tears. She nodded once and placed her gifts on the table with the rest of them. “I understand,” she murmured. She turned to leave, her steps heavy on the concrete floor.
Ryan’s breath caught, and Anthony squeezed his hand. “Mom, wait.” Ryan turned to look at Jamie, who stood near the end of the couch. “Can you get her a martini or something?”
Maria
nna sobbed out a laugh of relief and gratitude. Ryan managed half a smile. It wasn’t much, and there was clearly a lot to be done, but it was a start.
As Marianna went to sit beside Anthony’s mother, Anthony leaned and nuzzled into Ryan. “I’m proud of you,” he told his husband. “Have I told you that?”
Ryan chuckled. “Only six times today.”
The baby kicked, and they both put their hands on Anthony’s bump. They rested their foreheads together and smiled. The noise and bustle of the party faded away, leaving them in their own private bubble. They didn’t need much. As long as they had each other, and soon their baby, they would have everything they needed.
Preview Chapter: Mountain Fire
Jamie sat back on Ryan’s couch. It felt good to enjoy Ryan’s place. His old place hadn’t been much of anything at all. He hated to think of himself as a snob, but the couch had looked and felt like it had been scavenged from the town dump. Ryan hadn’t been shy about telling him he liked it that way, too.
Once the baby was on the way, though, everything changed. Ryan was a lot more willing to accept family money now that he was supporting a husband and kid. And he was willing to take a house from Roscoe inventory, too. A few renovations later, and Ryan and Anthony were settled in a nice, respectable bungalow that dated back to the nineteen twenties. It had taken a little while to get the renovations done, but everything was finished in time for baby Marissa.
Marissa, now two months old and at that “cute but smelly luggage” stage, gave a mighty yawn. She stretched and snuggled into Anthony’s arms, lifted her little chin imperiously, and went to sleep.
Jamie reached for the remote, but Ryan snorted. “Don’t bother,” he said in a normal tone of voice. “When she zonks out like this, she won’t wake up for anything but her own internal clock. Trust me here.”
