by Cara Wylde
It wasn’t as if she didn’t miss Val. There were nights when she woke up, having dreamed about the moment when Max had told her they couldn’t save her. She had been wounded too badly, and her body couldn’t heal anymore. Even now, tears welled up in Rosanna’s eyes because she missed her best friend so much. But, deep down, she knew Val wouldn’t want her or Caleb to suffer. Val had been a better person than she was, and she had always wanted everyone to be happy. Especially Caleb, the person whom both of them had loved. She had to make him see it, or else he would forever be stuck with his guilt. She couldn’t let that happen.
Rosanna ran her hands through her hair. It had dried just enough, and she knew it was time to go home. Would he be there? If he was, she would have to tread lightly. She had to make him understand her perspective, but she couldn’t be insistent or forceful. The last thing she wanted was to make him run away from her.
CHAPTER TWO
The castle was in sight. Caleb ran until he was in front of the entrance. He looked around and spotted his clothes where he had left them in the morning. After the meeting with his Alpha, he had decided to go for a run, never thinking he would be so rudely interrupted by Rosanna. Try as he might, he couldn’t really be angry at her. She had only done what someone who was so familiar with him would do.
If Val had been there…
No, Val wouldn’t have done that. Val had been a different kind of person. She would have approached him carefully, announced her presence, then suggested spending time together. Rosanna was reckless, too chirpy and wild, but he liked that about her, in a strange, twisted way, because she offered something new. Val could demand attention just by being who she was, while Rosanna was a little harder to understand and like. One had to have the patience to get to know her better before being friends with her.
Why was he comparing them? There was no reason for him to do that. They were two different people, best friends despite being almost opposites. He had to do something about his uncontrolled feelings. He couldn’t dishonor Val’s memory by thinking about Rosanna as more than a friend. That was the last thing he wanted, and the last thing he was going to allow to happen.
Caleb found his clothes behind some bushes and got dressed quickly. His shirt was wrinkled, and he grimaced. He could swear he had folded it carefully, as he always did. Fortunately, his pants looked better. He would have to iron the shirt later, but, for now, he was hungry. He put on his shoes and walked through the gates. Of all the werewolves in the clan, he was probably the only one who wore shoes all the time when he was in his human form.
Food or shower?
“Food”, he thought.
He walked into the castle, taken aback, as he always was, by its size and structure. He had been away too long; he needed some time to get used to the place again. It was quite peaceful, which meant Max’s pups weren’t home. Avelyn had probably taken them to Dunkelstadt, the small town at the foot of the mountain, right after breakfast. She had been a human at some point, roughly ten years ago, and she wanted her children to learn about her species. So, every time she got the chance, she took them to spend a couple of hours amongst humans. Caleb thought she was definitely something different, even though she was a hybrid now. He had always liked her.
He walked through halls and corridors, making his way to the large kitchen. There were a couple of pack members there, as well as the cook and his assistants, but no one paid him any attention as he rummaged through the fridge for something to eat. He was used to it, as he had made it so that no one would disturb him unless it was necessary. After Val died, he changed almost completely. He wasn’t as friendly and outgoing as he used to be, and the other wolves had eventually come to respect that.
Caleb found some breakfast leftovers, threw them all on a plate, and wolfed them down without even sitting at a table. Before leaving, he took an apple to munch on while he almost ran to his room. Even though no one had said anything to him, he still felt like putting as much distance as possible between him and the other members of the pack. Somehow, he felt guilty for acting so cold towards everyone, but he couldn’t help it. His desire to avoid socializing had made him ask Max for more work. Sometimes, his Alpha gave him more than he could handle, but being exhausted all the time was better than taking a break and letting his mind wander. It never went to any good places.
Caleb’s room was one of the nearest to the Alpha, as he was one of his Deltas, and Max needed him close. His rank wasn’t as important as the one of the Beta, but he was pretty proud of it. In case the Alpha and his Beta were gone, the Deltas, he and Daniel, would be left in charge.
He opened the door and took off his shirt, tossing it on the bed. He walked into the adjoined bathroom, and his pants followed before he stopped in front of his sink mirror. He ruffled his brown hair, and it fell over his forehead. It had grown too long, but it didn’t look too bad at the moment. He would fix that later, just like he would fix his wrinkled shirt. It wasn’t like him to postpone these things, as he was always so neat and careful with his appearance, but he hadn’t been quite himself in a while. When he came out of his depression, if ever, he would have to take care of a lot of things.
He stepped into the shower and turned it as hot as it would go. It wasn’t uncomfortable to him, and he rather enjoyed the change in temperature after his run in the freezing morning air. He let the water run down his back, closed his eyes, and simply stood under the strong spray. His body was lean and strong, but he had lost a few pounds in the past months. He was so tall that he had to bend a little to fit under the shower head. That reminded him of how Val used to tell him: “You’re so tall! I feel like a dwarf next to you.” He smiled. Val had been pretty tall herself. Her comments had never been mean spirited, and she could turn anything into a joke. She could look at the world differently. To him, things were black and white. To her, everything was a rainbow. What about Rosanna?
“She probably sees it through a prism,” he whispered, then cursed himself for letting her enter his thoughts.
This wasn’t right. She wasn’t supposed to be there. She was supposed to be someone whom he respected because Val had been good friends with her. Why was he starting to fall for her? Why did he want to be around her all the time? It wasn’t fair to Val’s memory, and guilt found its way back inside his heart, where it seemed to belong. Even Rosanna would feel disgusted if she knew how much he wanted her, how much he craved her body when he was alone at night, in his cold bed. Or… would she? He knew she was one of the people who encouraged him to move on, but how could he?
He increased the pressure of the shower, but it had already reached its limit. He sighed, turned it off, and reached for a towel. He dried himself off before wrapping the towel around his waist, then went back to the mirror. He was satisfied to notice his eyes weren’t as tired as before, and his hair looked better now that it was clean. Earlier that day, Max had commented something about him looking like a zombie, and the remark had stabbed Caleb through the heart. It was true, though. Sometimes, even he missed the old Caleb, who was always calm, pleasant, and put-together. The fact that people around him could see he was not well made him feel like a failure. However, he had no idea how to change it. How long was he going to keep all these confusing feelings bottled up inside him? At some point, he would have to let them out, maybe go in the heart of the forest, far away from Schloss Blackmane, and scream his lungs out until everything that was bad and rotten inside him was out of his system. But not now, not today. Maybe he could still fix himself in silence.
He walked out of the bathroom and collapsed on his bed. Staring at the ceiling, he allowed memories of Val to flood his mind. They were hard to fight, especially here, in the castle, where they had spent so much time together. Being home was nice, but also tormenting. He recalled how they used to go out on walks together, at midnight, or how they would sneak away during pack dinners, grabbing food from the kitchen so they could share it under the stars. He remembered how she hated spicy food and would
always make him try things first so she’d make sure she wouldn’t burn her tongue.
But, most of all, he remembered the kisses and hugs they shared when no one was around. They had both agreed to keep their relationship as secret as possible, as neither of them liked the idea of giving people something to talk about. Where they mates? They had never asked themselves or each other that question. They were happy together, and that was all that mattered.
And then it all fell apart. She was gone, as if she had never existed in the first place.
Sometimes, Caleb wished he had been a human so he wouldn’t have to live without her for so, so long, but he knew he had many more years of loneliness waiting for him. Werewolves lived for around 500 years, and Caleb was one of the young wolves of Clan Blackmane. In fact, Val had been older than him.
It took him an hour to muster the willpower to stand up and get dressed. He put on a pressed blue shirt, a new pair of classic jeans, and combed his hair back. He spotted his book, the one he had been reading before he had to leave, on his bedside table and decided it would be nice to go outside and read for a bit. With that thought in mind, he picked it up and headed for the gazebo, where he knew no one would disturb him. The gazebo was a beautiful place to sit and read. Built in the inner court of the castle, it was surrounded by a rose garden which didn’t look very spectacular in winter. People usually went there to play board games.
As he sat down and placed his book on the table in front of him, Caleb looked around. The rose bushes reminded him it was February 14th, Valentine’s Day. His heart ached, and he had to swallow down the lump in his throat. He swallowed once, twice… Eventually, he managed to keep the tears at bay. Valerie had loved Valentine’s Day.
“Today isn’t going to be easy,” he murmured and opened the book.
***
It didn’t constitute as stalking, did it?
Rosanna had that question running around in her mind as she looked around the castle for a hint of Caleb. She had arrived just a few seconds before, and wasn’t quite dry yet, but she didn’t care. It didn’t matter that she had no idea what she’d do when she found Caleb; she just wanted to see him, maybe give him a piece of her mind. She had missed him so much, and the little time they had spent together in the woods and at the waterfall simply wasn’t enough.
She went into the kitchen, found out from the cook assistants he had been there, then went to sniff around the castle. She was about to give up when she glanced out one of the tall windows and saw him walking towards the gazebo, book in hand. She hesitated, though. He had gone there to be alone, take his mind off everything, and barging in on him again wasn’t the smartest idea. She didn’t want to piss him off. On the other hand, what about her? What about her feelings and needs?
“I know!” She pumped her little fist in the air, and started running towards her own room. Once there, she looked around for the box of chocolates she had purchased two days before in anticipation of Valentine’s Day. She hadn’t thought he would be back at the Schloss in time, but had bought them nevertheless. If anything, maybe they would bring her luck, and they had.
“And to think I’ve always believed the law of attraction was a bunch of BS,” she murmured while taking the box of chocolates and stopping in front of the mirror.
She grimaced, placed the box on the nearby table, then proceeded to make herself a bit more presentable. She combed her hair, applied a bit of mascara and pink lipstick, then pinched her cheeks to bring a natural, healthy blush into them.
“Good. It doesn’t look like trying too hard.”
She gave herself a nod of approval, then started towards the door, opened it, then gave herself a good smack on the forehead. She had forgotten the box of chocolates. She turned back, retrieved it, then took a deep breath and made her way towards the inner court. She had to pull herself together, which was difficult to do when her heart was beating so wildly in her chest. Just giving him chocolate wasn’t going to start a productive conversation, was it? She had to think of a real reason to approach him. As she was almost in the main hall of the castle, the solution came to her: chess. Caleb was a genius at chess, and he never refused a game. She turned on her heels again, sighed in frustration at her inability to focus, then ran up the stairs, using her shifter speed. She had a chessboard in her room. She was in and out again in a blur, her short, yellow dress flowing around her, her high heels barely touching the floor. She was in the rose garden in a heartbeat.
Caleb had surely heard her coming a mile away, but he gave no indication of it as he sat bent over his book, seemingly lost in the story. Rosanna took a peek at the cover and saw he was reading a historical romance novel. She approached him carefully, the heart-shaped box of chocolates in one hand and the chessboard in the other. He didn’t look up immediately, and she waited for him to finish reading his page and acknowledge her presence.
“What do you want?”
Oh, that was harsh. His impatient question hit her right in the chest. She bit her lower lip and forced herself to smile. If he was in a bad mood, she would try to ignore it.
“Chess?” she said, baiting him as she dangled the board in front of him.
The corner of his lips turned up in amusement.
“I am reading,” he said.
“Oh, come on! You know you want to!” she insisted, but inside she was scared she might have made a miscalculation. She didn’t want to have to go back without getting to spend time with him.
“Please, you are a terrible player!” He laughed lightly, trying to make his comment sound less offensive.
“No way! I’ve been practicing,” she pouted.
“Yeah? With whom?” he asked.
“Daniel. We play chess almost every day.”
For a second, Rosanna thought she saw a flash of something new in his eyes at the mention of Daniel, the other Delta, but then he was back to normal. He closed his book and set it aside.
“Fine, one game,” he agreed.
“Okay.”
She sat down and placed the board on the table. Their hands reached for the pieces at the same time and, as their fingers brushed, she felt a jolt of electricity run up through her arm. She stole a glance at his face, but he wasn’t acting any differently. Apparently, he hadn’t felt it. She quickly recovered and let him place the pieces for her. As he was busy doing that, she opened the chocolate box and left it near the board, as if it was a normal, innocent gesture. The heart-shaped candies looked inviting, but she didn’t want to be rude, so he waited for him to get the hint.
Caleb was completely oblivious to the candies as he carefully placed the chess pieces. It was only after he was done that he noticed them.
“Why do you have chocolates, and why are they in a heart-shaped box?”
“It’s Valentine’s,” she said brightly.
Caleb sighed. Her gesture made it even harder for him to not think about Val and the countless times they had shared chocolate and all kinds of sweets on Valentine’s Day.
“Rosanna, why did you bring chocolates to a chess match?”
He didn’t look very happy, so she had to come up with a solid excuse. Had it been a mistake on her part? She felt like she was walking on egg shells, and it drove her crazy with anxiety.
“Maybe I’m trying to charm you to go easy on me?” she suggested.
“That’s not it. You’re too ditzy to think about strategies like that.” He tried to say it in a teasing tone. He knew he was being harsh, and even rude, but he couldn’t help himself. Rosanna had a way of making him feel uncomfortable, mostly because she always did things he couldn’t quite understand. She was the most unpredictable person he knew.
She pouted. “That’s not true.” Her voice was small.
He studied her for a second, noticing how she had applied just the slightest hint of make-up. Had she done it for him? No, it made no sense. Rosanna always took care of her appearance, wore make-up, flowy, feminine dresses, and high heels. It had nothing to do with him, he was su
re. And if he wasn’t sure, he had to convince himself the things she did had nothing to do with him. It was easier that way.
“Why don’t I believe you?” he asked.
Rosanna rolled her eyes. It wasn’t fair that he was interrogating her like that. She had done nothing wrong, for goodness’ sake!
“Okay, so maybe I’m asking you to be my Valentine. Happy now?”
He furrowed his brows for a moment, but then his face relaxed and, to her surprise, a hint of a smile appeared at the corners of his lips.
“Isn’t it supposed to be the other way around?” he pointed out.
“I don’t know.” She shrugged. “I mean, I don’t care. I never follow the rules. Who makes them, anyway?”
He laughed. All right, maybe he could allow himself to calm down for once and enjoy his time with her. She did make him feel better. That was… when he allowed her to. He reached for a candy and placed it on his tongue. The milk chocolate melted right away, and he could almost moan at the delicious taste.
“Good?” she asked.
“Very.”
She smiled and took two out of the box. Since she bought them, she had been dying to tear the box open and eat all of them. She was glad she had waited to share them with him.
They started the game, and Rosanna was sure she was going to lose because of Caleb’s experience, but at least she wasn’t going down without a fight. She found herself concentrating more than she usually did, and didn’t notice Caleb smiling at her.
“That determined to beat me, huh?” he said.
“Yup!”
If she wanted him to spend more time with her, then she needed to make the game as challenging as possible. Daniel had taught her some moves she was going to try.
