by Ali Dean
“DL?” Claire asks.
“Down low,” Jenny says, indulging our nerdy friend with an explanation.
As we near the track, I spot Lisa and Andrea walking away from the tennis courts and toward the locker room doors. This might be my only opportunity to talk to Lisa about the photos.
“I need to talk to Lisa about something, guys, I’ll be back in a few.” More drama is the last thing I need right now, but I need to do this for Ryan.
I reach the girls as they open the door to the high school.
“Hey, um, Lisa, I was hoping I could talk to you. Do you have a couple of minutes?”
Lisa crosses her arms. “What do you want to talk about?”
Andrea saves me from responding. “We just finished our matches so we’re hanging out waiting on the rest of the games. You two go chat,” she says with a wave of her hand.
“Why don’t you come with?” Lisa asks her.
Andrea raises her eyebrows in question to me.
I shrug. “Sure.” It might be good to have a third person there.
As we make our way to a bench in the empty hallway, I turn to Lisa. “I just wanted to explain to you that those photos are from months ago.”
“That’s what Ryan said too. But some of the photos look recent, Pepper. Care to explain that?”
I hadn’t spent much time looking at them.
Andrea takes out her phone and hands it to Lisa. “Here, show her why you think so.”
We sit down on the bench and I end up sandwiched between them, the photo of Ryan and me kissing in our running clothes shoved in front of me.
“See? You guys are wearing hats and are covered in snow. We didn’t get snow like that in the fall.”
Frowning, I try to remember when this happened. Ryan and I weren’t exactly kissing in public all the time, and this must have been after one of the practices in December, when everyone else was done with their season and we were training for Nationals together. Because it was early December, most fall sports were over and we could get away with a kiss by the locker rooms without an audience.
“It was in December,” I explain to Lisa. “Our season went later than everyone else’s because of Nationals. We had some snow one afternoon.”
I glance at her and she seems to accept my answer. She scrolls to the next one. Ryan and I are lying on the grass, and my head is on his chest. “See that Spanish book opened next to Ryan? He just started taking Spanish this semester.”
Suppressing my smile, I tell her, “I take Spanish. That’s my book.”
She scrolls through a couple more photos, pointing out the length of his haircut or an outfit as evidence that the photo was taken more recently. Eventually, she gives up.
“Okay, now I feel stupid,” she says with a laugh. “I’ll stop now.”
I sigh with relief, happy that someone else’s relationship isn’t going to get messed up because of me.
“Sorry I’ve been such a bitch to you, Pepper,” Lisa says quietly. “It’s just, I’ve liked Ryan since he moved here and, well, he picked you first. Which sucked.”
“That’s okay. I mean, I get why you didn’t want to like me. You haven’t been mean or anything.”
Andrea giggles at that.
“What? She hasn’t. Just not super nice, that’s all. Whoever sent these photos is mean. Big difference.”
“Don’t worry,” Andrea says. “If they want to play this game, we’ll play. Kayla’s already got some ideas up her sleeves.”
“What do you mean? You know who did this?” I ask.
Andrea gives me a doubtful look. “Come on, there aren’t many people obsessed enough to get these photos, save them, and use them. Dorothy Sandoval has been scheming to be friends with us since junior high. Who knows what she originally had planned when she took these photos? But I can’t think of anyone else weird enough to do it.”
“What about Madeline?” I ask.
“She’s the reason Dorothy sent them. Dorothy must have given up on being our friend since we’re graduating soon, and figured she’d try to get in with Madeline’s group instead,” Lisa says.
“They’re just using her,” Andrea adds.
“I’m sure she knows that. She seems to be enjoying herself, though,” I say bitterly, remembering the smirk she gave me earlier today.
“We’ll deal with her,” Andrea says as we make our way back outside.
“Well, it’s Pepper this was aimed at. Maybe Pepper wants to be involved,” Lisa says.
“No, I really don’t.” I’m thankful to have the opportunity to make that clear. Still, I’m not about to get on my high horse and try to talk them out of retaliating. I have a feeling it won’t do any good anyway.
Chapter 15
After the meet, Zoe drives us over to Brockton Public to catch the tail end of a home baseball game. I see Jim sitting with his girlfriend Sheila on one side and Annie and Helen on the other, so we grab an empty row in the bleachers behind them and between innings I introduce them to my friends.
With a hot dog in one hand and a Coke in the other, I’m able to relax and momentarily forget about the attack that’s been launched against me by Madeline and Dorothy.
Jace glances my way when he steps up to the plate and I can’t help grinning like a fool. The dirt-streaked uniform emphasizes his athletic build. He looks intimidating as he grips the bat, and it contrasts with the soft, knowing smile he gives me. I’m filled with a rush of adoration for this boy, who loves me unconditionally.
It doesn’t come as a surprise that he’s the star of the game. I feel a distinct sense of pride when he hits a grand slam.
Jace is in a great mood after the game. It’s strange watching him with Annie and Jim. He looks happy, and they are both so proud of him. I hate the ugly tug of emotion in my gut. It’s not jealousy, because I’m happy for Jace. But it hurts. I guess it’s always comforted me that my best friend shared a loss like me. Now he has a complete family. Even a brother.
The dark feelings quickly evaporate when he picks me up and swings me around. His good mood is contagious.
“Let’s get you home to shower. I’m cooking you dinner tonight,” he announces.
“Oh?” Jace can cook breakfast, but I’ve never seen him cook dinner. “Let me guess. Breakfast for dinner?”
“You’ll just have to wait and see,” he says before kissing me and setting me down.
“Are you saying I stink? Maybe I want to come over now and I don’t want a shower.”
“You always smell good, Pep. I swear, it’s like an ocean smell or something.” He nestles his head in my neck and inhales.
“You know, you said that once before, but you were kind of messed up at the time.” It was back in the fall when he’d been rolling on ecstasy and Wes had convinced me he needed an intervention. I’m so glad he didn’t continue down that path. That time feels very long ago.
It’s almost three hours later when I finally make it to Jace’s. Gran talked me into getting a pedicure with her, and Jace said he still had to run to the grocery store anyway.
I walk down the street to his place with a couple of movies and a puzzle. I’ve got on my favorite pair of yoga pants, a cotton tee shirt, and flip flops. Jace and I have had many nights like this over the years, but it’s so much better now that he’s my boyfriend. I love the intimacies we can share now – like cuddling during a movie, or a kiss to celebrate finding the right puzzle piece.
Jace’s house is dark when I open the front door and kick off my flip flops.
“Jace?” I call out.
Frowning, I start to walk up the stairs toward the kitchen. I nearly tumble back down when the lights switch on and a dozen familiar voices shout, “SURPRISE!”
Loud music blares and confetti fills the air around me. I’m still clutching my chest and trying to breathe when Jace picks me up for a kiss. “It’s an early birthday party.” I turn seventeen in a few days.
I can’t stop smiling as I take in the streamers and dec
orations. “You did all this?”
“I had some help,” he tells me. Looking at those familiar green eyes, I can’t help the wetness filling my own.
“Hey, don’t cry.” Jace wipes the tears away.
I sniff. “I don’t know why I’m crying. They’re happy tears.” I laugh when I hear Katy Perry. “Nice tunes, Jace. Was Zoe in charge of the music?”
He smiles sheepishly. “Well, I know how much you like your girly music.”
“Stop stealing the birthday girl, Jace!” Zoe pulls me in for a hug and hands me a glass of champagne.
Wesley is the next to lift me in a bear hug before I’m passed around like a teddy bear.
All my buddies are here – Jenny, Claire, Rollie, Charlie and Omar. Jace’s friends, who I guess are also my friends now, greet me with hugs too – Remy, Connor, Ben, and even Ryan. The Barbies are dolled up, as usual, but my lack of appropriate attire doesn’t faze me. Lisa must have come around at the last minute, after our conversation this afternoon.
It’s awesome to have everyone together like this. They have me and Jace in common, and without other people around, it’s easy to ignore the social classifications that normally divide us.
As the night goes on, I’m impressed with the excellent selection of music. Jace proudly admits to his friends that he is responsible for the mix that includes all of my favorites – Rihanna, Taylor Swift, Lady Gaga. The guys give him a hard time, but it only makes the girls crush on him harder. One girl in particular. I am so crazy about him.
Jace lied about cooking, but he ordered plenty of pizza and I’m not complaining. Claire even baked a cake. I couldn’t have asked for a better seventeenth birthday party.
Jace is attentive, but less possessive than he is at the bigger parties. He knows I know everyone here, and that I’m comfortable. It’s nice not to worry about the likes of Madeline Brescoll showing up, or to deal with people I don’t know constantly seeking Jace’s attention.
I’m really able to let my guard down.
There’s an awkward moment when Zoe lets it slip that she calls Kayla, Andrea and Lisa the Barbies, but she manages to smooth it over. Zoe explains that they are just so beautiful and since they’re all blonde, it’s a fitting title. Only Zoe can turn an insult into a compliment. And now she’s bonding with her new friends, her arms slung around Andrea’s and Kayla’s shoulders as they sway back and forth singing “Here’s my number, so call me maybe,” at the top of their lungs.
Even Claire has loosened up. And Jenny, only a freshman, doesn’t seem the least bit intimidated by the Barbies. I drag Jace up from the couch to dance with me, and pretty soon the girls have gotten all the boys to join in our dance party.
Apparently no one has to worry about driving because Jace told people ahead of time they can crash at his house.
It’s two in the morning when the energy starts to wind down. I guess I can be a bossy drunk because I demand that everyone get into their pajamas so that I’m not the only one in mine.
“You sure you want me in mine? You know I only sleep in my underwear, Pep,” Jace says softly in my ear.
“I think I’m ready for bed anyway,” I tell him, turning to snuggle into his arms. I’ve tried not to give in to my urge to be in his arms all night so that I can spend time with everyone else. But I’m really looking forward to being alone with him.
“All right, party people,” Jace announces. “The birthday girl is ready for bed. Find any couch or floor space to crash on.” He scoops me up and carries me downstairs as our friends cheer and whoop.
“Are they going to be okay on the floor? I can send people to my apartment.”
“I knew you’d be concerned about everyone else, so I told them ahead of time to bring sleeping bags. We’ve got it covered, Pep, don’t worry.”
Jace plops me on his bed and places kisses along my legs as he takes off my yoga pants. I prop up on my elbows to watch him as he takes his own pants and shirt off.
“Are you tired?” he asks softly.
“No,” I whisper. And judging by the smoldering look in his eyes, he likes my answer.
Jace pulls my hips to the edge of the bed and settles onto his knees. He gently kisses my stomach, and I continue watching him as he slowly slides my underwear down my legs. He’s never touched me there before. I’m completely exposed. But I don’t feel shy. I trust Jace like no one else.
“I’m going to make sure you don’t forget this birthday, Pep. Are you ready to feel really good?” he asks, his hand gently massaging my inner thighs but not touching my most private place.
I nod, wide-eyed. He reaches to move a pillow behind my head. “Just relax,” he instructs. I let my head fall back as I give myself over to Jace’s caresses.
My eyes drift closed and I simply let myself feel every wonderful sensation. Is it possible to be any happier?
***
The rest of the weekend is just as blissful. Except when Jace asks about my race, and I’m reminded about the spikes-stealing incident. I hate keeping things from him but he’ll just get angry and it’s not an embarrassment I want to rehash.
Jim stayed out with Sheila and we have the house to ourselves Sunday morning. Jace and Wes team up to make everyone pancakes. After a short jog with Dave, I meet Jace at a park with Annie and some friends she’s made since she moved back. It’s kind of strange playing Frisbee and grilling burgers with people twenty years older than us. They act like we’re just their buddies, not kids.
My bias against Annie starts to break down when she stops by my house later that week after my birthday dinner with Gran and Jace. It’s a Wednesday night, so we keep the celebration low-key.
Gran hasn’t seen Annie since she returned. Annie actually breaks down crying when Gran gives her a hug. When she declines the alcoholic beverage Gran offers, Gran is not shy asking about her addiction recovery.
“So, what exactly were you addicted to, dear?”
Annie can’t hide the small smile at Gran’s boldness. “Oh, just about anything I could get my hands on. It changed for periods of time depending on what was available, who I was hanging with. I kept moving to new towns, thinking if I got away from the people I used with that I could stop. But it would start all over again.”
I glance at Jace, curious how much of this the two of them have already discussed. His expression doesn’t give anything away but he takes my hand and squeezes.
Gran nods. “You look a lot better than you did at 25, or however old you were when I last saw you.”
“Thanks. I feel better too.” She looks down at her hands. “I wish it hadn’t taken me so long to get here, but I’m glad I’m back.”
“Well, let’s make sure you stay then,” Gran says sternly. “Are you in a recovery group or seeing a counselor?”
“I go to NA meetings. Narcotics Anonymous,” she clarifies. “And Helen’s been really great. She was one of my only sober friends in college. And she’s been real supportive.”
Before heading home, Annie hands me a wrapped gift. It’s a double frame with two photos of Jace and me. One is crumpled and worn, but it’s me as a little girl, with my face covered in chocolate ice cream. Jace is trying to lick it off my cheek and I’m laughing. The photo next to it was taken on Saturday after the game. Jace has lifted me off my feet and we’re grinning at each other. We look totally in love.
“I’m sorry the older one isn’t in great shape. I’ve had it for a very long time,” Annie says nervously.
“Thank you, Annie. This is a really amazing gift.” I try to convey gratitude in my voice. When I give her a hug, my gaze catches Jace’s from the door. His eyes are filled with some deep emotion that I can’t identify. I’ve never seen him look so moved.
He walks out with Annie after giving me and Gran kisses on the cheek.
When Annie showed up at the Wilders’ back in February, I never could have predicted this is how things would work out. It’s not what I expected, but it doesn’t matter. Jace has never been so content. T
he turmoil that’s always simmering deep in him has disappeared.
I notice Gran’s cheeks are wet when I give her a hug on my way to my bedroom. She feels it too.
Chapter 16
It shouldn’t surprise me that Dorothy takes it upon herself to ensure that my blissful state doesn’t last too long.
“Oh, hi Pepper,” she says dismissively, as though she didn’t purposefully plant herself in front of my locker on Monday morning.
“What do you want, Dorothy?”
“I heard you didn’t quite have it on Saturday in the mile.” She looks down at her nails before flicking her eyes up to gauge my reaction.
I stare her down, refusing to give a response.
“You know, you wouldn’t have to deal with inconveniences like misplacing your spikes if you just ended things with Jace. He’s going to college soon and it’s not going to last. You might as well save yourself some trouble.” She smirks. “Because there’s bound to be trouble.”
“I’m not going to break up with Jace, Dorothy. So just give it up.” I try to say it like her threats are meaningless. But if she could feel my heart rate, she’d know I’m worried. If it was only Dorothy I was dealing with, it’d be different. But Madeline is behind this.
“You should just let him enjoy some freedom for the rest of his senior year. He will anyway. But why make him feel guilty about it?” She shrugs before spinning around and walking away.
I turn to my locker, but I’m so distracted that I find myself fumbling with the lock. Dorothy’s getting to me. What are they going to come up with next to mess with me and Jace? He’s so happy right now; why do these girls have to put that in jeopardy?
I feel warm breath on my neck and watch tan hands take mine and move them away from my lock. His body is pressed warmly against my back as he turns my lock and opens it on the first try. I turn around, captured between his arms.
“Thanks.”
“What was Dorothy talking to you about?” Jace asks. His jaw clenches as he grips my hips and tugs me flush against him.
