by Ali Dean
When I hear Rex sputtering and screaming obscenities from the pool, a burst of hysterical giggles erupts from my chest. This is ridiculous. They weren’t really trying to force me to the pool house to take drugs or… something worse. Were they? Another round of laughter escapes me as I wipe my mouth and kneel back on my feet.
It feels like I’m watching a movie of someone else’s life. This can’t really be happening.
I roll onto my back, my chest rising and falling as I stare up at the stars. The chaos around me continues and I just can’t stop the laughter that mixes with my heavy breathing.
Strong arms scoop me up and when I inhale the familiar woodsy scent, my laughter turns to sobs.
He doesn’t say anything as he moves quickly across the lawn. I can tell when we’re back inside by the warmer temperature and the loud voices. The noise quiets as Jace makes his way through the house. I bury my head in his chest, knowing we’re being watched and trying to hide my tears.
Jace starts moving up the stairs and I sigh in relief that we’re escaping from everyone.
“Jace, hold up!” Zoe’s voice breaks through the murmuring voices, which I have no doubt are already cooking up gossip.
He pauses for a second before continuing up the stairs. “Later, Zoe,” Jace says firmly. He’s always been friendly to Zoe but his voice is cold, leaving no room for argument. I’m grateful for it at this moment. I just want to be alone with him.
Safe. Comforted.
Zoe, as persistent as she can be, doesn’t follow us. A minute later, I breathe in deeply when I hear Jace close and lock a door, leaving the noisy party behind us.
My head lifts from his chest, his tee shirt now soaked with tears. Jace’s jaw is clenched so tightly it looks painful.
He sits down on a couch, keeping me in his arms. I wouldn’t let go even if he tried to disentangle us.
“You’re safe now,” Jace says softly. He rubs his thumb over my tear-streaked cheeks.
I’m still not sure it all really happened. Did a group of guys, high on who knows what, actually drag me with them to the pool house? Wait, we didn’t make it to the pool house.
“How’d you find me?”
“Cam got me. Told me those fuckers were talking to you. When I got there…” Jace pauses and closes his eyes, shaking his head. “There were five of them. Well, four. Grayson was there, but he was about to step in.”
“Cam?” My foggy brain is having trouble following him. And Jace must be pumped full of adrenaline. I can feel his heart racing and despite his gentle touch stroking my hair, his legs are clenched beneath me.
“Yeah, Cameron. He’s our pitcher. And Pat Grayson. They’re your grade.”
“I thought they played basketball.”
“Yeah, that too.”
He tilts his head, probably wondering why I’m zeroing in on the least important details of what he’s saying. I’m equally confused by the words coming out of my mouth. Who cares what sports they play? Maybe I’m just not ready to think about what happened.
“I think you’re still in shock,” Jace says quietly.
“Just kiss me,” I say on a sigh.
He hesitates a moment before leaning down and taking my mouth in his. It’s gentle and warm. He pulls away after a moment, and I pout.
“Pep, you taste like throw-up.”
I cover my mouth with my hand, embarrassed. It’s worth it for the loosening in his jaw, the restrained laughter glinting in his eyes.
“Let’s get you cleaned up.” Jace stands with ease, still holding me.
I take in my surroundings, recognizing it as the guest room we slept in the night of the snowstorm.
He sets me on the bathroom counter and rummages through the bathroom drawers until he finds a toothbrush. I brush my teeth while he runs a bath.
Jace helps me out of my clothes and carries me to the bath. He soaps me down, and each scrub helps erase the dirty feeling clinging to my skin.
We don’t talk. Jace can tell I need silence.
Afterward, he wraps me in a towel and dresses me in sweatpants and a tee shirt twice my size.
They smell like him. My favorite woodsy spice scent.
I forgot that he started keeping some clothes at Wes’s house.
Jace strips down to his boxer briefs and joins me in bed. I snuggle up to him and wrap my body in his.
As I drift off to sleep, I feel his lips on my forehead. “I’m sorry,” he whispers.
I’m too tired to ask what he’s apologizing for.
Chapter 18
At some point during the night, I startle awake, feeling the absence of Jace. It’s not the cold that has me shivering. I’m still shaken from the night’s events. I watch him unlock the door and open it a crack, light streaming in from the hallway.
He speaks quietly with someone for a few minutes before returning to bed.
I immediately wrap my arms around him, trying to get as close as possible.
“Wes got rid of those guys, Pep. They won’t hurt you again. I promise.”
“They didn’t get a chance to hurt me, you know.” I don’t want there to be any confusion about that. They tried, but he stopped them. Maybe they wouldn’t have done anything all that bad. I shudder. Who am I kidding? They were forcing me with them.
“They did hurt you, Pep. And not just from the bruise you’ll have on your hip in the morning.” I hadn’t noticed it, but Wolfe’s grip on me was tight.
I squirm my way up his body so I can see his face. I don’t want to talk about what happened.
“Where were you when I got to the party? I couldn’t find you.”
Jace cringes. “I had a talk with Madeline.”
“A talk?” My heart rate picks up.
Jace looks down at me disapprovingly. “I found out about the track spikes prank, Pep. I’m not happy that you didn’t tell me. You shouldn’t keep stuff from me.”
“It didn’t matter, Jace.”
“It did,” he says firmly. “And it felt pretty shitty hearing about it from Remy, who heard about it from Ryan.”
“You boys gossip as bad as girls.” But I know how that must have hurt him. He likes to think he can protect me from everything. “I’m sorry, but I’m not going to say I should have told you. Sometimes it’s best to just let that kind of thing go, not give it more attention than it deserves. So, about Madeline?”
“Yeah, that’s what I was talking to her about. I know she’s behind those photos and messing with your shoes. It has to stop.”
“So you just talked to her. That’s it? I thought you already did that.”
“I told her awhile back that I wasn’t going to be with her again. I hadn’t spoken to her since her shit against you – against us – started. If my words don’t put a stop to it, though, she’s going to regret ever messing with you.”
“The Barbies said they’d handle it,” I remind him.
“I’m not going to rely on anyone else to deal with someone hurting you, Pep. You should know that.”
“Yeah, and you should know that’s why I didn’t tell you.”
“They messed with your running. That’s one of the most important things in your life.”
His comment reminds me that I still haven’t told him about my plan to just race relays for the rest of the track season.
I watch Jace run a hand through his hair. Even in the dark room, his features are striking. I love that I can admire his beauty up close now, after so many years of hiding my attraction.
“All this shit is because of me, Pep. The other stuff, it pisses me off. But I can handle it. What happened tonight with Wolfe” – Jace’s voice breaks and he shuts his eyes for a minute – “it kills me.”
He looks me right in the eyes, letting me see his sadness.
“I should let you go,” he whispers. “But I don’t think I can do that.”
My head snaps up. “Are you talking about breaking up with me?” Where is this coming from? He just saved me from those hooligans. H
e actually beat the shit out of them and carried me away.
“Those guys attacked you because they know I care about you. They wanted to hurt me by hurting you,” Jace explains, laying it out for me.
“I figured that out, Jace. But they might have just been joking around. They were high. I could have gotten away or yelled or something if they really were doing something bad. Maybe they were just trying to scare me.”
“They did scare you!” Jace sits up, pulling me with him. “You were white as a sheet when I got there. I’ll never forget the look on your face!”
His breathing is rapid and I place a hand on his chest, trying to calm him.
He looks like he wants to say more. Instead, he clenches his jaw and tucks me under his chin.
“I’m so fucking sorry, Pep.”
“I’m accepting your apology for threatening to break up with me.” He tugs me closer. We both know that’s not what he’s apologizing for.
***
“Why can’t you just connect those guys with whoever your dealer was? Wouldn’t that get them to stop trying to hurt you, or whatever?” I refuse to say their names. But Wes and Jace know who I’m talking about.
We’re lifting weights in the Jamison’s private gym. Somehow, Wes managed to get people to clean up the house and kick everyone out by the time we came down for breakfast this morning.
He gave me a hug when I walked into the kitchen, but it looked like he was the one who needed it. A black bruise covered his jaw, and by the way he moved, I had a feeling there were more bruises elsewhere on his body.
I’d almost forgotten how serious the fighting had been. How did Jace get out of there without a scratch?
“Wolfe and Rex wouldn’t be able to handle that much responsibility,” Wes tells me. He hops down from the pull-up bar. “They party too hard.”
“And they’re dumb fucks,” Jace adds as he settles back on the bench press, waiting for Wes to spot him.
“I don’t get what that has to do with you connecting them to this gangster dude.”
Wes shakes his head, smiling. “This gangster dude, Pepper, is scary. I’d rather have Wolfe and Rex’s wrath than the Vegaz.”
“The Vegaz?”
“That’s the gang. But you didn’t hear that, okay?” Wes’s voice turns serious.
“Yeah, okay.” I watch Jace’s abs constrict as he lifts a barbell over his head.
“So if you told scary gangster dude he should give his drugs to the idiots and they messed up, the gang would take it out on you.”
“Probably. It’s not worth finding out.”
“I didn’t trust Rex and Wolfe before,” Jace says as he sits up. “After last night, I really don’t trust them. If Rex and Wolfe had a lot of drugs and money in their hands, they’d try to scam the Vegaz. They’re that dumb.”
Lifting my hand weights for the last set of bicep curls, I ask the question I’m not sure I want to hear the answer to.
“So are they going to keep attacking you until you give them what they want? It’s been months and they still showed up at your party last night.”
Wes and Jace share a look.
“I’d be surprised if they came back for more after last night,” Jace says.
After that, I stop asking questions.
***
By the time I get home from working out with the boys, I have three missed calls from Zoe and twice as many text messages. She gets to my house in ten minutes when I ask her to meet for a run.
“I can’t believe you’ve left me in the dark for this long! What the heck happened to you last night?” Zoe’s shrill voice makes me want to cover my ears.
I steer her out of the apartment and onto the running trail, explaining a toned-down version of the night’s events.
“What do you mean, ‘they were giving you a hard time’? They looked like they needed a hospital by the time Jace’s friends were through with them. It had to have been something bad to warrant a fight like that.”
“There’s a history with them. Those UC guys shouldn’t have been at the party in the first place. I was just the last straw that gave them a reason to fight.” I feel bad lying to Zoe – or at least not giving her the whole truth. But if I tell her what those guys were really doing, she’d completely freak out. And I just want to ignore it.
“You were crying, Pep, and people saw you lying in the grass,” Zoe’s voice softens.
“I just freaked out. They were scary dudes, and then I was in the middle of this crazy fight. I’m sure there are all kinds of rumors flying around, but don’t believe them.”
Thankfully, Zoe takes the hint and changes the subject.
“Actually, there’s some other juicy gossip from last night.”
“Oh yeah?”
“You know Brad Simmons? Captain of the lacrosse team? Dorothy was hooking up with him at the party and she didn’t make it to a bathroom in time. Stunk up her jeans and everything.”
I burst into laughter. “You can’t be serious.”
“Yup. The Barbies put copious amounts of laxatives in her drink. She was in the bathroom most of the night. Probably wanted to get home but was too drunk to drive, and I bet no one wanted her stinky butt in their car to give her a ride.”
My laughter dies down a little when I think about how awful the night must have been for her. Man, the Barbies are brutal.
“I feel pretty bad,” I admit. “That’s a really mean way to get back at her.”
“Yeah, it’s not nice. But hey, she tried to break up two couples. And you and Jace are awesome together. That was pretty cruel. She could’ve ruined your relationship and friendship. Who knows what else she had planned besides the shoe-stealing stuff?”
“Yeah, Dorothy’s not exactly a nice girl herself. Think she learned her lesson?”
“Doubt it.”
Jace is even more attentive than usual the next few days. He texts me throughout the day and meets me between all my classes. He brings me treats – donuts, brownies, muffins – each day. It helps make up for all the curious stares from other students.
I know that Jace was right, in a way, that what happened on Saturday night was a result of us being together. And it could have been a whole lot worse. But I don’t blame him. Yeah, he was an idiot to deal drugs – especially with so many shady characters – but he stopped. And he never thought it would come back to hurt me.
As for jealous girls like Madeline coming after me… well, Jace can’t exactly help being drop-dead gorgeous. Maybe he didn’t need to sleep with so many girls, but he never made them any promises.
But Jace still acts like he’s done me wrong. Like he was the one who hurt me. He’s not as confident around me. Despite his attentiveness, he’s acting almost ashamed of himself, as though he doesn’t deserve to let his guard down and be himself with me.
When I finally get around to telling him, Jace likes my idea to just race relays the rest of the season. He says it’s bumming him out that I don’t get excited about racing anymore, and maybe taking a break from individual events is what I need. It gives me enough confidence in my decision to bring it up to Coach.
“If that’s what you need right now, Pepper, then I’ll support you,” Coach tells me. “There’s something else I need to talk to you about though.”
“Something else?” I can’t imagine what it would be.
“Have you entered your info on the NCAA website?”
“What do you mean?”
Coach shakes his head with a look of disbelief. “So that college coaches can contact you. To recruit you,” he adds, when I give him a blank look.
“Oh, right.” I laugh at myself. I hadn’t even thought about college recruitment. “Is now when they start recruiting? I guess I thought I had until senior year to think about it.”
“Coaches have been calling me trying to get through to you over the past month. I can’t give them your info without your permission. It didn’t seem the best time to bring it up with you, but you need to star
t thinking about it. You’re going to have a lot of choices.”
I sigh. “Maybe. But I already know I want to go to UC, so there’s not a lot to think about.”
Coach puts his hand on my shoulder. It’s something he always does when he wants me to pay attention. “You should at least take advantage of the recruiting trips to visit other colleges, Pepper. See other parts of the country and get a feel for what other teams and colleges could offer you. Then you’ll be able to make an informed decision.”
I shrug. “Maybe,” I say again. I can agree with getting free trips to visit other schools. It might not be entirely morally sound, if I know I won’t go to their school, but they can always advertise that the national champion showed interest in their program. So it’s a win-win. “We’ll see.”
The following Saturday is our only home meet. We don’t have the best track in the area, so it’s just a low-key meet with three other schools. My only race is the 4 x 800. Jace’s game is earlier in the day and he’s able to come by to watch.
He’s with Remy, and the two of them attract a lot of attention sitting in the stands. It’s not often the most popular guys in school come to watch our meets. I catch the girls from the other schools ogling Jace and I grin. I’m lucky that he’s all mine.
His presence makes me want to race well. But it doesn’t make me anxious and nervous the way expectations from others do. I wish he could come to all my meets.
And I do race well. Nothing spectacular – I’ve never been awesome at the 800 distance – but not a disaster either. I’m able to move the relay from second to first, and it always feels good to win.
“Hey guys, how was your game?” I jog over to Remy and Jace before starting my cool down.
“Thanks to your boy here, we won 8-6. He hit a triple in the last inning,” Remy tells me.
Jace tugs me into his chest and kisses my forehead. “Nice race, Pep. You killed it.”
“Thanks.” I close my eyes and smile at the feel of his lips on my forehead, his strong arms around my waist.
“You should head over to the tennis courts when you finish up here.”
I lean back and raise my eyebrows. We don’t usually watch tennis matches.
