Merry Me

by Amanda Siegrist

  Except she still had to wait.

  She shut the vacuum off and stood in the middle of the living room.

  Pie.

  Maybe she'd bake a pie for tomorrow's get-together. She just needed everything to be perfect. Elliot deserved the best. He always treated her that way. She wanted to reciprocate.

  Or maybe she just needed something else to take her mind away from the one thing that kept trying to bring her down.

  Just the thought of walking into her bedroom to change her clothes would be difficult. Because she knew what would happen. The sadness would consume her once again. Her eyes would zoom to her closet where that faded brown box lay hidden. Full of things that meant the world to her.

  Minus one thing.

  Her engagement ring Trent had bought her on the day he died.

  ***

  Elliot strapped his phone back to his belt and grabbed the bags tighter. He felt like a teenager telling his dad he wouldn't be home tonight. Not that he needed to inform his dad, but just as he would appreciate a call that his dad wouldn't be coming home, Elliot figured he should return the favor.

  His dad's chuckling still reverberated in his ears. Why did his dad find it so funny that he was spending the night at Lynn's? Elliot didn't see the humor. The only thing he saw was the image of Lynn wrapped in his arms all night long. The way he wanted it to be every single night. But he couldn't rush her, especially since he hadn't told her about the gift yet. He really should.

  His dad had brought it up yesterday morning, wondering why Elliot still felt the need to come clean. He just did. Maybe he was creating it to be a bigger deal than it really was, but he couldn't help it.

  He had told his dad to drop it. That he had it all figured out. He would stick with his original plan that popped into his head the other day. He just hoped he wasn't going about this all the wrong way.

  His keys jingled in his hand as the worry started to weave its way through his stomach and up to his heart. God, maybe it was a dumb plan. She would run screaming from him. He just knew it. The bags in his other hand started to weigh him down. Should he return everything he just bought? Could he really go through with this?

  Cold air swirled around as he blew a breath. Yes, he could. He had to take the chance that Lynn wouldn't run from him.

  He unlocked his truck, grabbed for the door handle, and heard the last voice he ever wanted to hear.

  "Elliot, good afternoon," Marybeth said sweetly.

  He slowly turned toward her, his brows puckered with a frown. "I don't have the time right now, Marybeth. Have a pleasant evening."

  She stepped closer to him. Just enough where she could reach out and grab him if she really wanted to. "Elliot, you're not still mad at me, are you? I wasn’t lying that night. She did say some really mean things to me. And, quite frankly, I'm shocked that you believe her over me. You've known me much longer."

  "Are you kidding me, Marybeth? Let's just get something straight here. If I wanted to date you, I would've asked you out a long time ago."

  She took another step, sliding her body close to his as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "Elliot, let’s not pretend. You know you want me. She can't possibly offer you half of what I can. With the looks, with the money, and certainly in the bedroom."

  A shiver rushed through from the disgusting feeling of her arms around him. Shit! Did he have time to take a shower before he went to Lynn's?

  Never one to cause a scene, he slowly grabbed her hands from around his neck and gently pushed her away. "Have a nice night, Marybeth."

  He opened his door. His arm jerked when she clamped a hand around him.

  "Why are you lying to yourself, Elliot?"

  He turned toward her as he shook her hand off. "Why are you doing this, Marybeth? No means no. I'm sorry to say, you can't offer half of what Lynn can. Move on. Find somebody else because it's not happening with me. I never wanted to be mean about it like this, but you're really not giving me a choice."

  For the first time, Marybeth's face contorted with real rage.

  "I'll tell Lynn you slept with me. That you just took advantage of me right now. I'll tell her so many things that will have you regretting every little thing you just said. You messed with the wrong woman, Elliot." She threw her nose in the air and stalked off across the sidewalk like a woman on a mission.

  Elliot climbed into his truck and slammed the door shut.

  "Shit!" He banged his hands against the steering wheel. With one deep breath, he pulled his truck out of the parking spot and headed for the one place he had been dying to be all day. Now he dreaded it.

  How in the hell did he tell Lynn about this? Would she really believe anything Marybeth spilled from her lips? He sure in the hell hoped not, otherwise he'd be losing Lynn whether he wanted to or not.

  ***

  Lynn squealed with delight as she hung up the phone. Giddy and nervous all in one breath. Elliot was on his way. She ran a hand over her hair, taming down strands that didn’t need to be tamed. Deep breath. Why in the world was she acting so crazy? It's not like they didn't have sex yet. This was nothing new anymore. Like old times.

  She laughed. Her smile dimmed as she neared her bedroom. Another deep breath. She could do this.

  She walked inside and headed straight for the closet. Her eyes drifted to the left where the box was hidden behind some pillows. She did the right thing. The only thing.

  How could she honestly move on with Elliot if she didn't let go of Trent? She would still love him until the end of time, but it was time to make room for a new love. She had obviously started to do that, otherwise she would've never slept with Elliot already. It was time to move on. Seven years in the making.

  So why did it feel like her heart was tearing into two?

  Think of Elliot. That's the only thing she could do right now. She forced herself to move her gaze away from the top of the closet and looked at her clothes.

  More damn nerves. What should she wear? What would he think when he saw all the delicious things she bought? Would he even want to try any of them?

  She glanced at the floor of the closet where the Wacky Wowza's bag lay. Maybe she should hide that bag. A small bit of pink fuzz hung out, making the images of Elliot doing naughty things to her bright and clear. Geez, maybe she should take it all out of the bag and scatter it around the bed for him to see.

  She started to bend down to pick the bag up and froze. She couldn't do that. Staring at all those things would definitely make her lose her nerve and pack it all up, hiding it in a deep, deep, corner of her closet.

  Oh, the irony. She could hide it right next to that faded brown box.

  She had never done naughty things with Trent. Picturing doing those things with him wouldn't even come. But Elliot. She could already see the smile that would brighten his face as he eyed all the treasures.

  Nope. Can't hide it next to that box.

  She grabbed the bag and shoved it behind several pairs of shoes.

  Next, she shuffled through her clothes. What to wear? She hadn't expected him to call so soon. He must be just as excited as her.

  A black dress pierced her eyes. Her hands glided down the smooth fabric. She never wore this dress. There was a reason she never wore it. It revealed way too much. Too much cleavage, too much leg, too much of her backside.

  Perfect. She'd seduce him right when he walked through the door. Supper could wait.

  Plus, she was itching to get out of here. That box still pressed on her mind. Could she even have sex with Elliot without that box dropping into her thoughts? Perhaps she should hand him the money first, then sex.

  Much better plan.

  She snatched the dress from her closet before she could change her mind. Fifteen minutes later, she was applying a small amount of makeup on when she heard the phone ring. She dropped her eye shadow on the counter and ran to the kitchen.

  "Hello," she said with a husky voice.

  "Oh, sweetheart, don't talk like that, you'll
have me harder than a rock in one second. Damn, like right now," Elliot said with a laugh.

  "Sorry, I had to run to the phone. Are you almost here? I have something for you."

  "What do you have for me? Something sexy?"

  She smiled as the bag of goodies floated before her. "I have the money for fixing my car. Five hundred dollars, to be exact." There. She said it. And damn it, the pain was still there.

  There was a moment of silence, then he said, "Lynn, I don't want your money. Where did you get that kind of money?"

  "It doesn’t matter. What matters is I have the money to pay you back." Oh, why did she tell him this over the phone?

  "I don't want your damn money, Lynn."

  She jerked as if he slapped her. "What's wrong, Elliot? You never talk like that to me."

  He sighed heavily. "I can't come right now. I got a call. As soon as I'm done taking care of this problem, I'll be over. I'm really sorry. I didn’t mean to snap, but I'm not taking a dime from you."

  Her heart plummeted to the floor. Did he really have to go somewhere? Or had the mention of paying him back make him create a problem that he needed to respond to? "Okay. I know how your job is. Take your time. We have all night."

  "And I plan on using the entire night. You won't be getting any sleep."

  Pretend like everything was okay. Just pretend. "Promise?"

  He chuckled, although, the happiness didn't come through. "That's one promise I will keep."

  She hung up the phone and walked back to the bathroom. What just happened?

  She probably just seriously screwed up one of the best things to walk into her life.

  Stop!

  He'd said he had to take care of something and he'd be over. It's not like his job had never pulled him away from her before. Nothing to worry about.

  Except maybe the part where they argued about money again when he finally got here.

  One thing at time. Finishing her makeup would be a good place to start. She took her time applying her eye shadow, a small dose of blush, and lipstick. She debated mascara, but she really hated putting that crap on. She always managed to miss an eyelash, smearing a chunk on her face every single time. It's not like Elliot would care either way. Not when he saw her in this dress.

  Or would he?

  No more negative thoughts. He'd love this dress. She couldn't believe the thing still fit. She bought it three years ago on the whim. She had seen it on the rack, feeling depressed that she hadn't been on a date in forever and purchased it to cheer herself up. Maybe bring a bit of good luck on the dating front. She was asked out three weeks later, but lost the nerve to actually wear it on the date. Thank goodness, too, because it would've been wasted on a guy who couldn't stop talking about himself. He couldn't have been more conceited if he tried.

  Two hours later, she was slumped on the couch waiting for Elliot to call. He'd be here sooner or later. She just preferred sooner rather than later. She had never been a clingy girlfriend, or even dated enough to be considered someone's girlfriend, at least since Trent passed away.

  But the temptation to call him, had her tossing the phone back and forth in her hands. She kept the tossing up to stop herself from following through on the action of dialing. She wouldn't bother him. He was busy. She didn't want to disturb him and make, whatever the situation was, worse.

  She jumped up from the couch, nearly tripping over her feet when she heard a knock on her door. Deep breaths. They would not fight. She wouldn't let it get to that.

  He had decided to surprise her. She sat waiting, worried, and on edge for him to get here, but he was here and that's all that mattered.

  She opened the door with a smile. It fell instantly into a frown.

  "What are you doing here?" Lynn asked Marybeth, who looked like her normal glamorous self. "And how in the world did you find out where I live?"

  "Elliot told me." Marybeth's sweet smile grew into a smirk that had Lynn's skin crawling with unease. "Were you waiting for him? It certainly looks like it."

  "What do you want?"

  "I'm just trying to help you see what sort of man he is. I told you he was leading you on. You look very pretty, but I'm not sure he'll fall head over heels when he just had this." Marybeth untied her belt and opened her coat for Lynn to take a good look.

  She wore a red dress that accentuated all of her curves. While Lynn never thought of herself as having a small chest, looking at Marybeth's breasts stick out with brilliance, made her realize how much she lacked in that department. No tiny pouch stuck out on her stomach like the one Lynn had. Baby fat she just couldn't get rid of. And her legs, tan, shiny, and looking smooth to the touch. Lynn hated to think that Marybeth did look better.

  Wait, what? This is exactly what Marybeth wanted her to think. Elliot would never lead her on. He would never sleep with her one night and jump into bed with another woman the next. She refused to fall into this obvious trap. "Is there any other reason for this visit? I really have nothing to say to you."

  "Are you sure? Don't you want to know what we just did? We exerted a lot of energy in the bedroom. He might not have much energy left for you. I'm terribly sorry to tell you that."

  "You're lying." Lynn refused to believe any word she just said.

  "I'm not. Ask him yourself. Or better yet, wait for him to bring me up. He'll deny it because he wants to string you along a little bit more. He wants me. I'm trying to help you see that."

  "I don't believe you." She wouldn't believe anything this woman said, yet she heard the doubt in her own voice. So did Marybeth.

  She laughed softly and took a few steps toward her car. "You do believe me." She looked back at Lynn with a quizzical look. "Why isn't he here yet? He left his office forever ago."

  Lynn slammed the door. She wouldn't let Marybeth get into her head. She didn't believe her. She was lying, just like she did the night of the Christmas party.

  Then, the phone call from Elliot earlier punched her in the gut. He didn't specifically say what he had to do. She just assumed it had to do with work. He wouldn't really delay coming over to her house to spend time with Marybeth, would he? He defended her at the party. She couldn't believe that he would sleep with that woman.

  Had the argument over money sent him into that woman's arms? Did she do this to herself? He had snapped at her. Something he had never done before.

  She shifted that phone call over and over in her mind. He had been slightly angry and then there had been worry. What would he be worried about? Her finding out that he was lying. That he was making his way to Marybeth's instead.

  No!

  She didn't believe that woman. She was a liar. Marybeth just wanted to hurt her in any way possible because Elliot didn't want her.

  She tried to comfort herself with those words until she couldn't take it any longer. She grabbed the phone and dialed his number. She swore loudly when he didn't pick up. Why wasn't he answering?

  His house phone. Maybe he went home. She almost sighed in relief when Gregory answered, but too much anxiety kept her from relaxing as she paced back and forth.

  "Hi, Gregory. I was looking for Elliot. He didn't answer his cell and…and I just wanted to make sure he was alright. He called me earlier saying he had to take care of a problem and, well, he hasn't called yet. I'm being silly. You know, never mind. Sorry for calling."

  "Don't hang up the phone, Lynn," Gregory said with urgency. "I was just going to call you."

  Her legs gave out as she slumped onto the couch. "You were? Why's that?"

  "It's about Elliot. You're not going to want to hear this. It has me shaken to the bone right now."

  The strain in his voice crushed her heart.

  Marybeth. She hadn't been lying.

  And Gregory knew.

  "I can't hear it, Gregory. Don’t tell me. I already know."

  She hung up before he could say another word.

  Chapter 14

  The phone echoed throughout the house. Why did Gregory insist on
making it worse? She didn't need to hear the betrayal from him as well. Once was enough from Marybeth.

  When it started to ring again after her first refusal to answer, she couldn't take it anymore. Not to mention, it wasn't Gregory's fault. He didn't do anything wrong.

  "Please, Gregory, I understand. You don't have to tell me."

  "Don't you dare hang up on me again, young lady," Gregory said sternly as if he were her father and he could speak to her in such a way.

  Oddly enough, Lynn enjoyed the way he spoke. It told her he cared. She tried to keep the tears at bay, sniffling her nose to stop the torrential downpour. "I'm sorry."

  "I just got the call. I guess Elliot must've told them to call you as well."

  His heavy breathing, the worry in his tone, confused her. Were they talking about the same thing? "What are you talking about? Isn't this about Marybeth?"

  "No, why would you think that?" He sighed heavily. "I don't know what made you think that, but we'll talk about it later. Elliot's been shot. He's—"

  "Don't say that!" Lynn stood up, interrupting him before he could say any more horrible words. "Oh, Gregory, if you say he died, I'll…please don't say that."

  The torture she put herself through earlier. Taking the brown faded box down from the closet. Opening and closing it several times before she had the nerve to leave the lid open. Pulling out the engagement ring. Keeping it out of the box without shedding a tear. The drive to the store to sell it. And actually handing it over to the salesman. They had played tug of war before she finally let the ring go.

  She had let it go. She sold the ring Trent had given her and let go a part of his love. For Elliot. Not just for the money. But to let him in her heart. Now Gregory had to say the most horrible words to her. He couldn't be dead.

  "Calm down, Lynn. Please, my heart can't take this. They said it wasn't bad, but I don't know much yet. He's at Mulberry Hospital. I'll come pick you up."

  Relief quickly zapped her straight to the soul. He wasn’t dead. She could survive as long as he hadn't died.