“I’m a big fan of that person.”
She smiled. “I think I am, too. Now. Took a while.”
“You were always so calm and composed at work.”
“What did you expect me to do? March into your office and start sobbing on your desk?
He sighed. “I should have known what was going on. I wasn’t paying attention.”
“It’s not like we crossed paths much.”
“Still. I didn’t know anything about you.”
She tilted her head back up. “You know a lot now.”
He grinned down at her. “True. And I hope there’s more to come.”
Her fingers danced along the edge of his jaw. Did he really want to know more about her? Every time she learned a little more about him, it only fascinated her and made her want to keep digging deeper. To hear all the stories of his past, even the painful ones. He was the ultimate riddle, and she’d never liked walking away from a puzzle unfinished.
But the more she learned, the harder it was to stay away.
Hayden’s head dipped, his gaze dropping to her mouth.
She hesitated for a moment before rising to her toes to touch her mouth to his.
Avery’s eyes fluttered shut as their lips touched in a soft kiss. With the ocean spray lingering in the air and the last heat of the day soaking into her skin, she felt loath to ruin this perfect moment. Happiness settled deep inside her bones as his mouth slanted over hers.
Giving herself over to the kiss, she wound her arms around his neck and pressed her breasts to his chest.
His hands slid over her hips in a burning touch she felt even through her shorts. But his kiss remained light. Tasting. Teasing.
This kiss wasn’t like ones they’d shared before. It wasn’t about lust and need. Instead he touched her like she was glass, ready to shatter if he made a careless move. There was more tenderness in this single caress than she’d felt in all their previous interactions, including when he’d been deep inside her.
Something quivered within her, pieces of a broken heart pulling themselves together. Lust she could guard against, fight to ignore. But this insidious gentleness slipped past all her barriers. It made her want in a way that went far beyond physical release.
Is it the same for him?
Did he feel the way the earth shifted for them? Or was she just another fool blinded by his dazzling smile and charming presence?
His lips glided over hers, teasing her into craving more. Heat burned low in her abdomen. Standing on the secluded cliff’s edge, she could almost believe they were alone in their own little world, a reality outside of time, where consequences didn’t matter.
Careful, part of her whispered.
Don’t listen, the other half replied.
She’d never thought she’d find this again. This desire. This tenderness. She’d always thought it was a once in a lifetime occurrence if it happened at all.
Maybe it is. In Hayden’s arms, she had a hard time remembering anyone else. Had her heart blossomed like this before? Had time stood still the way it did now?
Avery jerked back, her eyes flaring wide.
“What?” he said, his voice low with desire. “What’s wrong?”
“I just…” Her voice trailed off as Hayden waited for an answer.
Sorry, I liked that more than I should, and it’s freaking me out.
Not quite the suave explanation she wished she could give.
“We’re losing the light,” she said instead. “I don’t want to have to retrace our steps in the dark.”
The expression on his face said clearly he didn’t believe her weak words but he examined the sky.
“All right, let’s start back. We should whip up something to eat. I make a mean sandwich.”
“Yeah,” she said, grateful he was giving her an out. “I’m hungry.”
His blue eyes darkened. “So am I,” he said, and she knew they weren’t talking about the same sort of hunger.
Clearing her throat, she stepped back. “Let’s go.”
He turned to lead the way back from the cliffs, not reaching for her hand. Avery took one last look at the darkening ocean before following him along the trail, telling herself she wasn’t missing his touch.
Too much about Hayden confused her, made her forget about common sense and logic, the things that had kept her walking these past two years.
But watching his back, she wondered if maybe Karen had a point. Were her efforts to protect herself costing her real experiences she should be reveling in? Any other woman would have leaped at Hayden’s offer. To have a man like him worship her for a week or two was a fantasy anyone would want to have played out.
Was it her damage holding her back?
The thought was unpleasant. She wanted to believe she was whole, that Jon hadn’t left his mark on her permanently. But if it was true, would she still hold Hayden at bay?
Or would she chase him with everything she had?
Her throat tightened. Once she’d been that woman. Someone courageous and strong who hadn’t hesitated to fight for what she wanted. She’d lost that part of herself somewhere within her marriage without even realizing it.
Watching Hayden walk away from her, her lips still tingling from his kiss, made her realize how much she missed that fearless side.
Then what are you waiting for? Take what you want.
Sex with Hayden wouldn’t be simple. It would tie them more closely together than they already were. It would push her closer to a precipice where she was already dancing on the edge.
It had the potential to turn her feelings for him into something deeper. Something that would do more than hurt if it ended.
If you don’t try, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life. She’d regret not taking a chance on Hayden. Regret not trying to find that piece of herself that took what she wanted.
Regret not reclaiming the strength that had once defined her.
Tonight is my chance. If she was going to decide, this was the place to do it.
Did she stay protected in her safe little world?
Or did she take what she wanted and damn the consequences?
Chapter Thirteen
Hayden leaned against the edge of the porch, a beer bottle hanging from his fingers. He stared out at the dark forest, lit only by the full moon overhead. From inside he could hear Avery clearing up what remained of the dinner he’d made. Their rather silent dinner.
The current setting hadn’t allowed for the five-star fare they’d been used to at the hotel. Instead they’d traded fillet mignon for ham sandwiches and expensive wine for cheap beer. He found he hadn’t minded at all because it wasn’t the food that mattered, but the company.
He’d be happy with Avery no matter where they were.
That knowledge sent a chill down his spine. He couldn’t allow her to become someone he needed. Counting on others just made it hurt more when they left.
He heard the screen door open and close. She hadn’t turned on the porch light, gliding through the darkness like a ghost to lean against wooden beam opposite him. Staring out at the night, she raised her own beer to her lips and took a sip.
He eyed her movements. Everything she did was elegant and graceful. She had no idea, of course, but he loved to watch the way she moved, be it walking across the dance floor toward him or arching under him with her lips parted on a cry of pleasure. The more time he spent with her, the deeper his need ran. She was an addiction he had to kick.
Even if he craved her like a drowning man craved salvation.
“I made a decision,” she said, not looking at him.
“Oh?” He rotated to lean his back against the wood so he could face her.
She nodded. “I’ve been running from a few things.”
“I hadn’t noticed.”
She tossed him a sardonic smile. “I want to stop doing that.”
He swallowed. This was what he wanted. For her to trust him, yield to him.
But through
out dinner they’d barely spoken, both lost in their own thoughts. While his mind was telling him to pull back, hers was obviously finally ready to move forward.
What do I do?
It wasn’t a question he was used to asking. Indecision had no place in his life. Not in business, not in pleasure.
With Avery, however, nothing was certain.
“Two and a half years ago I found a pair of black panties in the pocket of my husband’s jacket.”
He closed his eyes, her words making his decision.
“They weren’t yours.”
“Nope.” She took a deep sip of beer.
“He cheated.”
In the moonlight, he could see a parody of a smile twist her lips. “You know the most pathetic part? I actually tried to find a way to forgive him. I thought, everyone makes mistakes. It was just one slip. Was I going to throw away years of my life over one error? Weren’t we strong enough to move past it?”
“You’re loyal to those you love,” he said, absolving her.
“I might have stayed. Unfortunately for Jon, he’d picked a lover not willing to be his silent side piece. Turns out it wasn’t one time. It wasn’t even one woman.” She swallowed. “I’m not sure he’d ever been faithful, even before we married.”
He hissed a breath, anger churning within him. How the hell could anyone have Avery and want more? If he could win her, he’d never look at another woman while they were together. He’d suspected Jon was an idiot, but this went beyond his expectations.
“When I confronted him about it, Jon tried to explain the stress of his work required more of a release then I could provide. He blamed the nights I didn’t want to screw him because I was too tired. Said if I had given up my job and focused on him, maybe this wouldn’t have happened.”
“Bastard.”
She closed her eyes. “Yeah. But somewhere along the way, I think I internalized what he was saying. Started doubting I was enough. Started wondering if I was partly to blame.”
“Bullshit. His ridiculous choices have nothing to do with you.”
She turned his way then. “He was my Prince Charming, and the end of the fairytale hurt more than you can imagine.” A sad laugh escaped her. “One of my friends actually counseled me to just suck it up and stay with him. Who cared if I had a cheating husband when he came with a large bank account, right?”
“If money could win your heart, you would have ended up in my bed a hell of a lot sooner,” he said with utter certainty.
“Money’s not worth the mockery he made of my life.”
His heart hurt for her.
“After that, it’s pretty much the same old story. My friends were his friends. My in-laws, his relatives. I was leaving my entire life behind.”
“You have your parents. And Karen.”
She nodded. “But wounds don’t heal without scars.”
Ones that could ache for years.
“I was drifting through my life,” she said, her eyes on his. “Work was my only priority, and my business flourished.”
“You’re not drifting anymore,” he said.
“No,” she agreed. “Because of you.”
The air froze in his lungs. Emotions surged through him so hard and fast he could barely name them—a pinnacle of sheer joy followed by crushing panic and confusion. His heart thundered in his ears as he tried to push back the wave of anxiety that threatened to engulf him.
“That night I looked across the ballroom and you were staring back at me. I met Jon in university. Hadn’t slept with any other man since. Even before my relationship I’d never liked one-night stands. But you were like breathing for the first time in years. And when you touched me…” Her voice trailed away. “There was no going back after that.”
“Is that good or bad?” he asked.
“I’m still trying to figure that out,” she said. “All I knew is that I didn’t want to see you again. You were a lightning strike to my life, and I didn’t need another.”
“Good thing I followed you across the ocean, then.”
A far softer smile curled her lips. “I didn’t want to want you.”
“I sympathize entirely.”
“And I don’t want to go through that hell again.”
His throat squeezed. “You think I’ll hurt you.”
“Yes.”
The word was quiet, but there was no escaping its importance. “Never.”
Her smile turned sad. “I’m not sure that’s a promise you can keep.”
“Watch me.” Hurting her was the last thing he’d ever do. He’d rather take the pain himself than ever see it inflicted on her.
She took a long drink of beer before saying softly, “Your turn.”
He blinked. “What?”
“You said if I wanted to hear the end of your story, I had to share mine. It’s a trade I was finally ready to make.” She gave him a tentative smile. “Are you?”
The invisible vise around his chest squeezed a little tighter.
This was too much. Too serious. This wasn’t sex and pleasure. It was forming a connection, and it terrified him more than facing down his toughest competition in the boardroom.
Avery watched him with bright eyes. There was no missing the hope in her expression. The trust that he’d keep his word. That he wouldn’t dishonor her confessions by withholding his own.
The idea of speaking of the death of his relationship sickened him. He didn’t want to admit the fool he’d been. Didn’t want her to see the failure he’d once made of his life. It was beyond embarrassing. It was humiliating, shaming in a way nothing had ever been before or since.
It would change what she thought of him. How could it not, when Sophia had changed the way he thought of himself? Ever since those years, he’d been a little less. A little smaller. And he didn’t want Avery to think the same.
“Hayden,” she said, reclaiming his attention.
He opened his mouth, but there were no words to say.
“Please.”
The word hit him like an arrow. In that moment, he had no choice. She’d revealed a piece of herself tonight, he could do no less.
Even if it meant losing something he’d only just discovered he needed like he needed air.
…
Avery couldn’t tear her gaze from her lover. Chills ran through her body. Her pulse raced. Telling him about Jon had been the toughest thing she’d done in years. Even now it was hard to shake the fear that her confession had made him think less of her. Would he look at her differently now? She hadn’t been able to hold the attention of a man who’d vowed to spend the rest of his life with her. What chance did she have of holding Hayden’s? A man who had sailed the Mediterranean with models and walked red carpets with actresses. He was so far out of her league it hurt to think about.
But during dinner she’d come to a very simple realization.
She was tired of being damaged. Jon had taken something vital from her, and she’d spent the past two years trying to get it back.
The closest she’d ever come had been with Hayden. He made her remember who she’d been before she was a wife. Before she was divorced. Being with him was helping her think about all the possible futures she could have. If she let her fears and recriminations ruin what they had started, she might regret it forever.
Maybe this was yet another mistake. Maybe she’d once again be hurt beyond bearing. But living meant facing risks head on, and she was pretty sure Hayden was one worth taking.
“Hayden,” she said. “Please.”
Something shifted in his face. It was hard to tell in the near darkness, but his eyes seemed to fill with a desolate resignation.
She wrapped her arms around herself. Was she asking too much? Just because she’d been ready to face her past didn’t mean he was.
Another fear unfurled within her. Maybe this really was all about sex to him. Maybe the connection she’d felt building was all one sided.
He didn’t need to confide in her to sleep
with her. Perhaps he thought this was too steep a price to pay for a little pleasure.
Her eyes dropped to the porch floor. Not all gambles paid off. She’d learned that the hard way.
Her grip tightened on her beer as she wondered if she should retreat. Go back into the cabin and hide in her room until morning chased away the illusion of intimacy the darkness had created.
“I let her take over my company,” Hayden said.
Her head snapped up, part of her unable to believe he was speaking.
“It was small things at first. I was eighteen and granted the reins of a kingdom. We had a board, of course, and I had advisors, but it was my name on the hotels. I had decisions to make that I wasn’t ready for.” He ran a hand over his face. “Sophia had experience in the business world. She made it so easy to give her a few responsibilities here and there. It always seemed like she was doing me a favor. Helping me shoulder my new duties. I was grateful to her.”
He shook his head. “Over the years, she became more of the acting CEO than I was. I was her puppet, her figurehead, and she did everything in her power to keep me distracted. Exotic vacations, expensive shopping trips. We lived in luxury. My money was hers. My home hers. Anything she asked for, I gave.”
“You loved her.”
“She saved me.” His dark gaze bore into hers. “Whatever followed, all the rest, it doesn’t change the fact that I was dying inside, and she gave me back a life. She was my reason to open my eyes in the morning.”
Avery swallowed. Jon had been bad enough, but she couldn’t imagine the trauma Hayden had lived through. Losing her parents so young and so suddenly would have torn her apart.
“What changed?” she asked.
“I got older. Smarter. I learned about business, and I learned about accounting.”
“Why would you need—” She inhaled swiftly. Had Sophia been doing more than using Hayden as a personal ATM? Had she been milking his company as well?
“We still don’t have a completely accurate count of how much she embezzled. She was very clever. But it was in the millions.”
“Evil,” she breathed. What sort of person could use a young, grieving boy in such a way? How heartless did you have to be?
“Eventually the board came to me. The company was being run into the ground. My father’s legacy. They wanted to oust me and Sophia. I nearly lost everything because of her.”
The Billionaire's Paradise (Sexy Billionaires) Page 12
