“Morning.” Wyatt kissed the back of my neck, his voice crackling with sleep. “Why are you so tense? You don’t smell like your heat is ramping up again, not that I would be opposed if it was.” He pushed his lower half against me as proof.
I swallowed, clearing the morning dryness from my mouth. “My heat… it feels like it’s gone. I think I really messed up my body when I used those suppressants last time. My heat was more than a month early, and now it is like it just stopped.”
“We need to get you into the doctor.” His concern was sincere. It had been so long since someone cared about me, for me. He could’ve easily jumped to the conclusion I had lied about my infertility and was knocked-up. That was usually the only way a heat ended this quickly. Instead, he let his alpha need to protect take over. I was a lucky man.
“I have an appointment in two weeks with the one Sally recommended.”
Wyatt was tracing a pattern on my abs. It was a relaxing motion. He was so not like any alpha I’d ever known.
“My omega is getting advice from my assistant now?” He nipped my ear, awakening even more of my body. This conversation was going to end with me throwing myself at him. I doubted he would have any issue with that, the way his erection was steel against my ass already. “What other things is she advising you about?” Another nip, this time forcing a sigh from me.
“Jealous?” I teased. Sally was not only a woman, but old enough to be my mom. No, just no, and there was no way Wyatt would think anything else. He was teasing, in his own dry way.
“More curious.” He tweaked my nipple before going back to making patterns on my abs and pushing against my ass once again. Oh yeah, this conversation was almost over. My cock bounced in agreement. “Sally is an interesting lady.”
“And by interesting, you mean busybody.”
“Yeah, that.” He started to kiss the back of my neck, my body still so responsive. Not heat responsive, Wyatt responsive, and that was everything to me. I hoped it was to him as well.
“She did say she wanted to help me find an alpha.” I wiggled my ass against him for good measure.
“You let her know you had one, right?” His possessiveness set me on fire. He wanted to be my alpha. Mine.
“Do I?” My insecurity crept up and flew out of my mouth before I could stop it. Everything felt too good to be true, which meant it couldn’t be, right? “Now that the heat is gone, do you still feel the same?” My voice was but a whisper by the time I finished my sentence.
“No, I don’t feel the same.” I stiffened at his reply. “I feel more. I can’t explain it well. But being with you, in that way, being your alpha, was everything.”
I sunk back into him, needing to process his words, but unable to fully register their meaning.
“You know, I never did it like that before. You know, face to face.”
Wyatt pulled me closed at my confession, not that we weren’t already touching. In the past, it had always been hard and fast from behind. All about the need, never about the connection. Last night, it was all about the connection. I was glad I waited for him for him, for that.
“It was more for me too.”
“I’m glad. I want to be your more, always.”
I closed my eyes and played the words over again in my mind. Always. Not for my heats. Not for a child I could never give him. Not for anything other than me.
“There’s much to discuss.” I sighed, not wanting reality to rear its ugly head, but not wanting it to be hanging over us either. It was one thing to be kissing friends, another to be alpha and omega. “It’s not just us, and sex changes things. It’s not just us,” I repeated. Chloe. We couldn’t leave Chloe out of any conversation that impacted her life. It wasn’t fair to her. She deserved the best of all things.
“It does,” he agreed, pushing me onto my back as he lay on his side, his head propped up. “But you heard my father. Chloe wants you to be her dad, too. We can move at whatever pace we want, but Chloe is on board. That’s important.”
“For me, too.” I smiled up at him, looking down at me all sexy and still holding onto that just woke up mussed look I had a feeling would quickly become my favorite. “I love her with all my heart.”
“And she loves you. You have been good for her. For us. I was all work, all the time before you. I was so busy providing, I forgot to be present.”
His confession surprised me. I never once thought of Wyatt as anything other than an exceptional father who only wanted what was best for his child. The weight he carried being a single father, especially under the circumstances, had to be overwhelming at times.
“You were always a good dad.” I reached up and cupped his cheek, needing him to both hear and believe my words. “The dad she needed.”
“And now, I am a better one.” He choked up on the word better. Oh my dear sweet alpha, all the pain and guilt he carried. I vowed right then and there to help shoulder his burden. “Enough serious talk. What do you want to do this week?”
I shrugged in response. My goal had been to be with Wyatt so anything was perfect.
“I planned to spend the week seducing you, but when your heat kicked in we sort of moved through that plan pretty darn fast.”
“You silly man, I never needed big seduction plans.” Honestly, he could’ve said You. Now. Naked. And I would’ve been ready to go. Heck, all he needed to do was give me a come hither look. Heat threw a damper on it because I needed to be sure he wouldn’t regret it later and ruin all things, but I was on board way before this week.
“No, but you deserved them.” He tweaked my nipple again, sending a very clear message to my now very erect penis. “Now answer the question. I have huge chunks of the week off. How should we spend them?”
I let my eyes drift to my throbbing member, waiting for relief.
“It looks like you already have an idea.” Before I could respond, he sealed his lips to mine. We spent the rest of the morning in bed. It was perfect.
32
Wyatt
“Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!” Chloe practically erupted from her grandparents’ vehicle, launching herself at me.
I wrapped her in a giant bear hug. As wonderful as the week with Oliver had been, there had definitely been a Chloe-bug shaped hole in our lives.
“Oliver!” she shrieked, squirming to get down from my arms and tackle Oliver with equal enthusiasm.
My dad laughed as he followed, carrying a giant Mickey Mouse duffel bag, which I eyed suspiciously.
“She didn’t have that when she left.”
Dad shrugged. "You know how your mother likes to spoil her."
"Oh, hush," Mom admonished, slapping Dad on the shoulder. "It's your father who is the pushover. Chloe just had to glance at some stuffed animal and next thing you knew, it was in our hotel room."
Chloe was chattering animatedly at Oliver, telling him about the rides and all the characters she had met.
"How's her fever?" I asked. They had called yesterday saying Chloe wasn't feeling well, but she seemed fine now.
"It comes and goes," Mom said. "Don't let this burst of energy fool you. She was asleep for the last four hours, so she has a small reserve, but she'll crash hard soon."
She did look a little flushed.
"Let's get you inside, Chloe bug. You can tell Oliver and me all about it inside."
Oliver turned with a smile to carry Chloe inside.
"Are you sure you two don't want to stay the night? I have plenty of room."
"No, we're ready to get home to our own bed," Mom said. "But thank you, dear."
"Your Aunt June is planning the family reunion this year," Dad added. "She told me the dates, but I can't remember exactly. Next month sometime. I'll send you the details."
"He means I'll send you the details," Mom corrected. "There will be at least a few cousins Chloe's age. You should try to make it this year. Everyone would love to meet Oliver."
"Actually, that sounds good. Send me the dates as soon as possible so I can
schedule it in." I'd been too busy when I had been in school, and too reclusive after Jen's death to attend. It had been years since I'd seen several of my cousins. It sounded like fun. Chloe would have fun. And I could already imagine introducing everyone to Oliver. If he was ready for that.
Mom and Dad said their goodbyes and I followed Oliver and Chloe into the house. She was already asleep, leaning against Oliver has he stroked her hair.
"Do you want to move her up to her bedroom?" Oliver asked.
"No, let's just get her a pillow and blanket."
After tucking Chloe in, we tiptoed to the kitchen.
"When are we going to tell Chloe?" I asked.
"Well, I was hoping sooner rather than later," Oliver admitted, "but we should probably wait until she's feeling better."
I pulled him into my arms. "Does that mean I have to keep my hands off you?"
He kissed my lips softly. "Only when she's awake."
I wrapped my arms more firmly around him and took the opportunity to lose myself in his lips, sucking on his tongue, teasing him with light brushes of my own.
"And at night?"
Oliver sighed. "As much as I hate it, we probably need to sleep in our own beds until we talk to her."
I loved how he put Chloe first. As fulfilled as I had felt finally taking Oliver into my arms and into my bed, this was even better. My daughter home, my omega in my arms. It was perfect.
"Daddy?" Chloe's sad and uncomfortable voice pulled me from the moment.
"Ah, reality," I said, but I couldn't stop the smile on my face.
That smile faded quickly as the rest of the evening was spent ferrying Chloe back and forth to the toilet to throw up, or wash up after throwing up in a garbage can. Oliver kept a steady stream of ginger ale and saltine crackers coming her way, and I spent the night in the recliner. Oliver took the day shift while I muddled my way through work, and then we swapped again. Three days later, Chloe finally woke up with a spring in her step and a smile on her face, but Oliver wasn't quite so lucky.
He'd left the bathroom door open as he heaved into the toilet, and I hovered outside, unsure of how close he wanted me, of how I could help him. "Can I get you anything?"
He heaved again in response and I waiting, torn apart that there was nothing I could do to help him.
When he finally caught his breath, he said, "Wyatt, I'm so sorry, I don't think I can watch Chloe today."
I had already seen that. "Don't worry about it. You lie down and rest. I've had Sally redistribute the schedule, and she's going to watch over Chloe for the few appointments that absolutely need me. You rest. If you don't feel better tomorrow, I'll work on other arrangements until you feel better. It had taken Chloe four days to kick the bug. Maybe Oliver would be able to recover quicker since he was an adult with a stronger immune system, or maybe it would last about the same amount of time. It was hard to tell.
"I'm so sorry," he said again.
"Hush," I said. "Your job right now is to work on getting healthy. Don't worry about us."
He nodded tiredly, a further sign of how hard this was hitting him.
Chloe had a blast playing with the kittens most of the day, and Oliver had recovered enough to make us dinner. I fussed at him, but he simply smiled and placed a plate of hot lasagna in front of me. But then the next day started the same.
"You know how we told Chloe she couldn't play even when she felt good while she was sick? Yeah, that's you with the cooking dinner thing. If you wear yourself out because you have a span of time where you have energy, your recovery is going to take much longer."
"But you need someone to watch Chloe..." he protested.
"I've already texted Sally. Her niece has been looking for some babysitting jobs, so she is going to come over and look after Chloe. You rest."
I made sure Oliver was settled into his bed with everything he'd need until I could pop back for lunch and left once Faith, Sally's niece, arrived. The bug hung on for another couple days, but it was the weekend and I was available to look after my two favorite people, and Oliver felt well enough to join us for dinner on Sunday, which was the oh-so-special gourmet meal of frozen French Bread pizzas in the oven.
"With being sick, I forgot I have the doctor's appointment scheduled for tomorrow to adjust my suppressants," Oliver said. "Do I need to cancel so I can look after Chloe?"
"Don't be silly, we'll call Faith back. You like Faith, right, Chloe?"
Chloe nodded enthusiastically. "She likes unicorns too, Daddy!"
"You can't delay this appointment," I said. "We need you healthy, Oliver."
"Yeah, you can't play tea party if you're sick, Oliver!" Chloe said. "I couldn't play tea party when I was sick even though I really, really wanted to."
"See?" I said. "You need to get your medicines so you can play tea party."
Oliver rolled his eyes, but smiled. "Okay. But as soon as I get back from the doctor, we're having the best tea party ever, Chloe-bear!"
33
Oliver
“Oliver Moore?” I rose up as the nurse called my name, feeling better than I had in a few days, thank goodness. The last thing an OB/GYN office needed was a plague carrier getting all their pregnant patients sick.
If it weren’t for Wyatt’s insistence, I probably would’ve called and canceled, but he was right. I was less than a month from my scheduled heat and that weird burst of kind-of-sort-of heat needed to be addressed first. It wasn’t only me it impacted. Both Chloe and Wyatt were an intertwined part of my life now and I needed to be available for them and not stuck in another bout of sickness like my last heat.
The nurse did the normal height and weight check before shuffling me into the little exam room. Unlike my last OB/GYN’s office, this one felt more like they cared than a money making machine. It was nice to see the pictures on the wall painted and drawn by former patients and their kids. Maybe this one would listen to me and help me control my heat without making me pray to die due to the side effects.
“It says here you are here to discuss your last suppressants.” I had to give it to the nurse, she was matter of fact while talking about something so incredibly personal.
“Yes, ma’am.” My eyes watched the floor, the conversation a bit too personal to have with a stranger, even a stranger as professional as she was. “They made me very sick.”
“By sick, you mean filled with need?” There was no judgment in her voice and I tried not to take her question as such. I knew from my research online that some people reacted to suppressants by having an amplified heat. That was not the case for me, but it sounded equally as dreadful.
“No.” I shook my head while I forced myself to meet her eyes. I needed them to believe me and fix the problem, unlike my last doctor. I couldn’t go through that again. People counted on me to be present and able to function. “Head pounding, sick to my stomach, crunched in a ball praying for relief all while trying to decide if getting up long enough to get to the hospital was worth it, sick.” Sad thing was, I wasn’t exaggerating. It was that flipping awful.
“That’s not good.”
“No, it really isn’t.” I agreed.
“According to your chart, your next heat is due in about a month.” I nodded. “Anything unusual since your last heat and this one?”
I told her all about my heat breakthrough, my face burning as bright as a thousand suns. I left out the interpersonal details, but she knew it without all the words.
“Are you sure you’re not pregnant?” Her words caught me off guard.
“Not possible.” Sorrow filled my voice. That was a wound that seemed to never heal. “I’m unable to get pregnant. It should be in the charts sent over from my last doctor.” I didn’t want to talk more about it. She had the papers. She was free to read the details.
“Hmmm, I don’t see it here.” She flipped through the chart, which seemed so out of place in a day and age where computer medical records were the norm. “Maybe the doctor has more information. In the mea
ntime, let’s just pee in a cup. You know, to be sure.”
“It’s a waste of money.” And would break my heart.
“Money your insurance pays, so humor me.” She wasn’t going to take no for an answer, that was obvious from her shift in posture.
“Fine,” I conceded. “Across the hall?”
“Yes, leave it there with your name on it and I will let the doctor know you are here.”
I got up off the exam table and headed to the door, no use prolonging the inevitable.
“I’m sure he can help you figure out a better solution.” She gave my shoulder a pat as I left. I only hoped she was right. I couldn’t deal with another heat like that. Not ever.
I went across the hall and did as she asked. There was no way it was positive, yet a little piece of me held onto the hope, which was dumb. If I was pregnant, it would ruin everything. Wyatt was a long way from wanting more kids, he said as much. I gave myself an imaginary slap. Why was I buying trouble that wasn’t there? I was barren. Done deal.
As I sat in the exam room, I counted the ceiling tiles, trying to avoid thinking about the non-pregnancy pregnancy. It didn’t work and by the time I got the two knock warning as the doctor came in, I was worked up beyond belief.
“Hello, I’m Doctor Russell.” He held out his hand and I gave it a shake.
“Oliver.” Which of course, he knew, but I was trying to be polite and not show the increasing panic that was filling me.
“I see here, you had some pretty severe negative effects from your suppressants last heat.”
“It was awful.”
“It also says here you took double.” His face crinkled at that. My last doctor told me it was common practice, but the look on Dr. Russell’s face told me I had been bullshitted.
“The doctor I had thought it would be a good idea with me starting a new job and all.”
“Your doctor was an ass.” He closed the file, giving me a compassionate look. “Pardon my French.”
“He was.” I folded my hands on my lap, trying hard not to fidget too much. This entire appointment was going so differently than I expected and I kept waiting for the next foot to drop.
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