What am I becoming?
Chapter Eight
Madison hit the shower as soon as she arrived at Liam’s house. As the water fell against her body, it streamed into the drain as dirty, dark liquid. If only it could cleanse her thoughts.
Police had wandered through the place piecing the investigation together and ruling it as a homicide. It left her speechless. She didn’t know if she could ever come to terms with it. Luckily, she wasn’t alone in dealing with the situation.
She turned off the water and stepped out to dry herself. Hearing movement, she pulled the towel around her body as Liam opened the door. He poked his head in.
“Were you hoping to join me?” she teased, surprised by his intrusion.
“Mmm, not this time. Just wanted to check on you, make sure you’re okay.”
He leaned against the doorjamb and gave a lazy smile. She stared at him appreciatively. He seemed more relaxed. With the trial over, it was as if a burden had lifted from him.
“I’ve been scrubbing at my skin for ages. Feels like dirt’s still there.”
His eyes trailed down her, an impressive smirk pulling at his lips. “I could help you with that. But hey, I’d just make you dirty again.”
She grinned. Only then did she see a box in Liam’s hand. Condoms? He passed over a box of hair color and she stood in stunned silence, almost forgetting to grasp the towel.
“You want me to change my hair?” she asked, looking up at Liam. Oh, that was a mistake. He had moved closer than she thought.
She longed for him to kiss her as passionately as he had when he pulled her from the grave. Adjusting the towel, the movement attracted Liam’s intense gaze. At that moment, he turned away. He was resisting. The Awakening.
“A minor change will prevent suspicion,” he added. “Can’t have a dead girl walking the streets.”
“Or do you prefer blondes?”
Liam laughed. “You’re my preference, no one else. I’ll be back soon.”
Madison lathered the color through her hair. And recalled clawing through the dirt in a desperate race to get to the surface. Every muscle in her body went taut. She hadn’t been claustrophobic before the trial, but that seemed to have changed.
She glanced at her reflection in the mirror, noticing how she looked more human. Drinking from the homeless man had given her energy, which was visible in her appearance. Her skin had a healthy glow. Not looking so dead.
She jumped when she saw Liam appear behind her.
“Be glad you live in New York. It’s not likely you’ll come across someone you know,” he mused. “I moved here after the Council accepted me. It’s too overcrowded, too many people to feed from.”
“Where were you before?”
She tried not to sound eager. Liam had barely told her of his past and she didn’t want to pressure him. Despite their heated physical attraction, they weren’t as close emotionally and she had the Awakening to thank on both counts.
“San Francisco.”
She nodded, but his reply enhanced her curiosity. She wanted to know of his life as a human, if he ever got married, what he’d done for a living. But by the sound of Liam’s voice, he wasn’t going to elaborate. She knelt over the sink and fumbled with her long hair.
“The hunt and thrill kept me going during my early days,” he said. “Here, it’s too easy.”
She recalled her inner turmoil earlier. “Being a vampire doesn’t mean you have to embrace killing.”
“You’ll understand someday. It’s part of what we are.”
She flinched, not wanting to accept it - but she’d already killed her first, and how many more would there be?
“I don’t see the point of this. I won’t be out during the day, no one will see me.”
“We can enter daylight once the sun is hidden. So there’s a slim chance.”
She reached for the showerhead but Liam grabbed it first. She hesitated and then felt his hand against the back of her neck, his thumb trailing delicate circles around her skin. It was calming. His slow caress…almost erotic. She leaned into him, biting back a moan.
As Liam gently rinsed her off, she let her eyes close in a moment of contentment. And saw the inside of her coffin. She quickly opened her eyes, not wanting to think about it.
“Now that I’ve passed the trial, do I get anything?” she joked, eager for distraction. “A shiny award?”
“You don’t get killed.”
“I’m already dead.”
Liam laughed and shut off the water, pulling his hand away. He stepped out of the bathroom and looked back at her, his eyes shining. “Come. Sit with me.”
Leaving her dirt-caked clothes on the floor, she changed into a pair of loose fitting black pants and a honey yellow blouse taken from the bedroom closet. Then joined him.
“Do you have any Council business to attend?”
“They’ll contact me.”
His tone was light but she knew what troubled him. It was getting easier to read the inflections on his face, to hear the rich undertones of his voice and discern what he felt. She sat next to him on the couch, being careful not to let her arm brush against his. Just a little touch and she’d want more.
“So what was your ‘minor change’?”
“Nothing. I’m doing this out of concern for you. Anything to throw hunters off track.”
She lowered her gaze, letting silence absorb her gratitude. Knowing how much he cared brought relief along with pain. But damn it, why couldn’t they give in without thinking about the Awakening?
“I’ve been contemplating my life now that the trial’s over. Abandoning my family and friends no longer stirs up the resentment it once did,” she admitted.
“Perhaps because you were destined for this life.”
“I don’t believe in fate.”
“We found each other. I consider it fate within a city like this. Or as my father used to say, love happens when making other plans.” The memory brought a sad sheen to his eyes. He cleared his throat. “I know how traumatizing the trial is. I went through mine seventy years ago.”
Madison held back the urge to touch him. God, how she wanted to. He battled with the loss of his humanity, she fought to keep hers. “How old are you?”
“Ninety. I died when I was twenty five. That’s how old I truly I am.”
Looking into his eyes, the concept of age and time no longer mattered. Liam smiled sheepishly. “Trust me, ninety years is long enough. I was a strong candidate for the Council. Daniel did the honors of casting me into my coffin after arranging my homicide for the trial. Unfortunately, I refused to feed. I was incredibly weak. Heavy rain made it harder to get out. I made it halfway before…”
He broke off and was silent for a moment, eyes haunted.
“My arms were too buried to continue, and only my head had broken the surface. I lay trapped in the dirt for hours, my mouth and nose flooded with water. All I could do was look at the sky, exhausted. I didn’t need to breathe. But it was the feeling of helplessness that got to me. The feeling of being half-alive and half-dead. It was a harsh method of acceptance. But it worked.”
Pain creased her face. The memory, the fear of what he’d gone through was evident in his gaze.
“That’s why you wanted me to feed, to avoid the mistake you made.”
Liam nodded. “I allowed enough time before your trial was instigated so you’d recover easily if you refused feeding.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t feed. I’ve been trying to cling to my humanity but it slips away…”
His eyes gleamed. “What we have is as close as we can get to it. It’s a gift.”
A gift with a price of fulfilling a dangerous prophecy. Boy, she’d really struck the lottery.
“Who turned you?” she asked, intent on avoiding the subject.
“Cassandra. She was my lover at the time, but she loved being a vampire and her recklessness ended up with her on the pointy end of a stake.”
“Hunters?”
>
Liam rubbed his jaw. “I vowed to hunt them down, tracked them all the way to Mexico. I was almost slain by a large group, but in my rage, I finally killed them. And I never looked back. I was devoted to the Council. If not for their help, I wouldn’t have found her murderers.”
“What about Ava?”
“I met her thirty years ago. She was the first woman I turned. After her, I turned twenty more.”
She felt a wave of jealousy. It was childish to be envious of those in his past, but she couldn’t help it. The sensation of his teeth sinking into her, marking her, felt like a moment she wanted only the two of them to experience.
“It was an addiction until I met you. Then it all changed. You’re the first to make me feel human.”
Madison hesitated, wondering what he implied. Liam’s green eyes looked lighter. Less tormented. She leaned forward, mesmerized by his stare. He didn’t pull away so she gently kissed him. The sensation of his lips lingered long after she stopped. His hand brushed against the back of her head, his fingers gently combing through her damp hair. He suddenly pulled her closer, kissing her with a wild passion.
He embraced her waist, and she was caught up in the smell of him, the solid confines of his chest and arms enclosing her. He kissed across her face and trailed his lips down her neck, igniting a swirl of desire she wanted to sink into. Damn, she wanted his cock inside her. Needed him deep. Hard.
Something vibrated against her thigh. Liam withdrew his phone.
“The Council?” she assumed.
“Yep. A meeting’s scheduled three hours from now.”
She thought of what he’d risked coming to her grave. “Oh god, will they kill you?”
“No. I’m too valuable. But they don’t matter right now.”
His lips crashed onto hers, stealing away memories of shoveling through dirt, the fear of being underground. She melted into him, losing herself against his hard body. They kissed as time stretched on and she didn’t need to pull away to breathe. She straightened, wanting to straddle him, and pressed her throbbing pussy against his hardness restrained by clothing.
The sensation of his lips was overwhelming and she sank back against the couch as his arms embraced her. She arched her back, his body firm and cool to the touch. He didn’t stop, his kiss consuming her until she lost all concept of where they were.
He tore away, breathing heavily. He grasped her top and wrenched it up, exposing her stomach and breasts. She was braless, and met his gaze.
“I could explode all over you and eat you up…”
His lips grazed across the peaks of her breasts, rough yet firm. She drew in a breath. His wet tongue moistened each nipple, pulling one between his lips and sucking gently.
Madison closed her eyes, wanting to surrender, to feel, but the memory of dirt, endless dirt made her freeze.
“Sorry, I-I keep thinking about it. My grave.”
He leaned back and gently lowered her top. “I understand, sweetheart. Must be hard to get off your mind. It took years for me to let go. But it’s an effective method to show Newborns what they really are. Some never fully accept the changes and delude themselves into thinking they’re human, connected to their former lives.”
She forced a smile. “Spoken like a true Council member.”
“Depending on how it goes later, I don’t know what I’ll be.” He reached out to trail a strand of hair behind her ear. “What was our first conversation? Do you remember?”
“How the ketchup sachets were too small. You squeezed it and it burst all over my uniform.”
“I consider it a metaphor for how I felt.”
She laughed. “But our first conversation…it was about the future. You asked if I was happy. Like you were concerned.”
“I saw a better future for you. With me.”
“And I told you I had plans.” She smiled sadly. “Not everything goes to plan. But this, being a vampire, I can accept it now. And I think I’m ready to ask…what was my funeral like?”
“Your parents shed the most tears. About forty people attended and indoors, there were swathes of white roses filling the room. They played some god awful pop song.”
“Oh, white roses are my favorite. And it would’ve been the song I used to replay when I was a kid with my first CD player, and drove my parents mad. Hero by Enrique Inglesias.”
Imagining the scenario brought her to the brink of tears. They thought they’d lost her, unaware she lived and was happier than she’d ever been. She could never tell them.
Her throat went tight. “Don’t worry, I know I can’t go back.”
Liam searched her face, his eyes reflecting her pain. “I never had time to say goodbye to my family during the Roaring Twenties. I was a dry and supported the prohibition, which earned the dislike of my parents and two brothers. My days passed at a convenience store while my father pushed for me to work at the coal mines. The day I chose to obey his wishes, I met Cassandra. She was so full of life, encouraged me to awaken to what I wanted - a life with her. But after we’d been seeing each other for several weeks, she changed. Someone turned her, and she seduced me with her promises.”
“Are vampires able to turn someone against their will?”
“No, both have to agree or the turning fails. What she’d made me…I thrived. After the Newborn trial, the Council became the family I’d longed for. And after losing Cassandra, I learned to live alone.”
She kissed him, wanting to ease the pain from his past. “I’m always here for you.”
“I know. And I’ll kill anyone who harms you, even if it’s the Council itself.”
She had to smile at his protectiveness. She lay in his arms as time passed. And felt how hard he was against her inner back and bit her lip, fighting the need to fuck him. Only he could flick that switch and turn her on so quickly.
He sat up. “I gotta go.”
She watched as he stood, giving a good view of his firm ass in dark jeans. “Can I come? I don’t want to be alone tonight.”
“It won’t be a good idea for the Council to see us together, regarding the situation.”
“I can wait outside.”
“That works.”
She thought of Ava and winced, remembering how she tasted her. Her gaze lingered on Liam and she felt the sudden urge to tell him. But not while he was worried about the Council - because if they wanted him dead, none of Ava’s threats mattered.
Liam pulled up a block away from the Council building.
“Won’t be long.”
She nodded dutifully, watching as he walked up to the Council. When he disappeared inside the building, she leaned back against the seat.
There was no harm in observing and since there was a meeting, no vampires would be in the hallway, similar to last time. She had to internally roll her eyes. Her bouts of curiosity wouldn’t fade. She left the car and began following the sidewalk toward the familiar building. The street was empty apart from a lone figure walking opposite her.
She paid no attention to the stranger and walked up the steps to the Council door. After knocking once, she was given entrance. She walked to the main door that led into the church-like room and listened.
“Due to your actions, you are to be demoted from your position as a Council member.”
She recognized the booming voice as Daniel’s.
“It’s your pursuit of lust, your need to keep this woman you’ve sired close, that concerns us. You’re letting it interfere in your Council duties. You turned her early. You broke the rules by staying as she rose from her grave. All signs that you’re becoming too involved, and you must have no attachments.”
“We are sorry to resort to this drastic measure,” said Ricardo.
“And who replaces me?” Bitterness tainted Liam’s voice.
There was a brief silence.
“James has been a candidate for many years,” Hannah replied.
At that point, she leaned away from the door. He’d lost everything, all that defined
his life before her. The Council were fearful. Liam had disobeyed when he went to free her, and it did nothing more than deepen their suspicions. They’d become closer since her trial and she didn’t want to lose that but staying here proved a liability.
Madison stepped away from the door. They’d likely separate them. The emotional pain was different, new, and it hurt like a deepening chasm inside, threatened to consume her from the thought of not seeing him again.
The voices receded and she heard the vampires approaching. The Council meeting had concluded, which meant Liam would emerge at any moment. She fled.
As she departed the Council building, she caught sight of someone standing opposite her. She descended the stairs, watching to see if she would walk away, but the stranger moved closer - a woman dressed in dark jeans and a gray winter coat but there was something oddly familiar. Madison couldn’t look away and as she passed under a streetlight, she recognized her. Perfectly styled blonde hair and a tiny nose with no makeup accentuating her stern face…
Sandra.
The woman Trevor cheated on her with. Madison turned away, and headed for an alleyway, hoping Sandra hadn’t spotted her.
Was she a hunter? And what would be her reasoning for roaming the streets this late?
Sandra couldn’t be oblivious to Trevor’s death, or her funeral. Too many problems would occur if she became aware that Madison was supposedly alive. Recalling how overly dramatic she was when she’d been caught in bed with Trevor, there was no doubt she’d come to the assumption Madison was responsible for his murder.
There was no time to wait for Liam. Madison moved further into the night, taking alleyways between buildings in an attempt to lose Sandra. Better to be safe than sorry. She started retracing her path back to the car when the acrid stench of smoke hit. Something was burning.
She froze. Her gaze rose above the tips of the buildings to see a hazy trail of dark smoke rising into the air near the Council. Oh god. Sandra wasn’t after me.
Fear propelled her forward. A peal of urgent sirens sounded in the distance, and she cleared the alley, needing to reach the Council before emergency services.
Awakened by the Vampire Page 8
