by Stella James
“I can hardly wait,” I say back.
*
“So how are things going with Cal?” I ask Dru.
“Great, actually,” she says. “We’re taking it slow, we’ve met a couple times for coffee. I guess we’re just trying to get to know each other.”
When Dru’s birth mother passed away, we were all surprised to find out that she’d left the identity of Dru’s father with a social worker who was trying to help her turn her life around. It took a little bit of searching but Dru found him and they’ve recently struck up a budding relationship. He didn’t even know that Dru existed until she found him.
“That’s great,” Elle says.
“Yeah, I mean, I want him to meet everyone of course,” she says. “I just want to get to know him myself first, if that makes sense?”
“Of course it does,” I say. “And you know as soon as you’re ready to bring him around, Esme will insist on a family dinner.”
“I just, I never thought I’d meet him, it’s still a bit overwhelming I guess.”
“There’s no rush,” Elle says. “Take your time and when you’re ready let us know.”
We’re sitting in a quiet booth in a swanky restaurant uptown. Usually Dru protests such fancy places but Elle had already made the reservation, insisting that this place has the best cheesecake in the entire city.
“So, I have a bit of news,” Elle says, pausing for a moment and taking a sip of water. “I’m pregnant.”
“What?!”
“Oh my God!”
“I know,” she says beaming. “We were surprised, I mean we knew it would happen eventually, because we were trying…but we didn’t expect it to happen so quickly.”
Elle fills us in on her due date, which will be this winter and on how Blake has already purchased every pregnancy book in existence so that he can be prepared. I think it’s wonderful the way he dotes on her and judging by her beaming smile I think she’s okay with it too.
“And you’re feeling okay?” I ask.
“Not too bad, the morning sickness is hit or miss and I’m pretty tired but otherwise, I feel good.”
“I’m happy for you,” Dru says, placing her hand on top of Elle’s.
“Thank you,” Elle says. “Oh God, now I’m going to cry, these hormones are crazy,” she laughs. “Tell me something that will distract me.”
“Ethan and I are moving in together,” Dru says.
“I think I’m falling in love with Sebastian,” I say, right after.
We look at each other and start laughing. Elle holds up her glass of water and taps it with her spoon. Dru and I lift our glasses of well.
“To new beginnings,” Elle says.
“Cheers,” Dru and I say together.
We finish our meal with a shared piece of the best cheesecake in the entire city, excitedly talking about baby names and house hunting.
“Are you going to tell him?” Dru asks.
“Tell the guy I’ve been dating for approximately two months that I’ve begun to fall ridiculously in love with him? I’m thinking no.”
“What? Why?” Elle asks.
“I nearly told him before I left tonight,” I acknowledge. I tell them about Bruno interrupting the moment and how I felt a bit relieved.
“I just don’t want to rush it, you know? I mean, it’s no secret that he wasn’t exactly monogamous before we got together, and I don’t want to freak him out.”
“Well if he scares easy, he isn’t worth it,” Dru says pointedly.
“I know, and I will tell him,” I say. “I just, I want to wait. I know he cares about me and we’re exclusive. That’s enough for now. There’s no rush.”
“That makes sense,” Elle says.
“I have to admit, he does fit in nicely,” Dru says.
I brought Sebastian with me last weekend to Esme’s so he could officially meet everyone. He and Dru spent an hour talking in the living room and when Esme threw a tea towel at him and told him to start drying dishes, he flashed her a charming grin and told her he’d do anything for her. I swear she nearly melted into a puddle right there in the kitchen.
“I’ve never felt this way before,” I confess. “I don’t want to mess it up.”
“Tell him when you’re ready,” Elle says simply.
We finish our dessert and forego our usual night cap since Elle can hardly stifle her yawns. I still can’t believe her and Blake are going to have a baby. I’m still smiling about it when the cab pulls up to my building and I fish my phone out of my purse. It’s only just past ten so I know Sebastian will still be awake. I pay the driver and head upstairs, feeling the heated promise in Sebastian’s words to me earlier this evening. When I reach the landing, I decide to head straight over to his place. I raise my hand and knock lightly before I reach for the knob. The door opens and the smile on my lips crumbles instantly.
I take in the tall brunette in front of me. She’s wearing a tight black dress, her hair and makeup flawless. She’s got more than several inches on me in the tall red pumps she’s wearing and for a minute I hate that my first instinct is to compare myself to her.
“Can I help you?” she asks, arching a dark eyebrow.
“Is Sebastian here?” I ask over the lump in my throat.
“He’s in the shower,” she says smoothly. “Can I take a message?”
“You can just tell him that Anna stopped by.”
“Will do,” she smirks, closing the door in my face without a second thought.
Chapter 14
Sebastian
I roll my shoulders as the hot water slides down my back. After Anna left for girls’ night with her sisters I took Bruno with me to the studio. I managed to tire him out enough with a chunk of rope that he slept curled up in a ball on an old blanket while I worked. I’m not sure what time Anna will be around, so I left the door unlocked before I jumped in the shower. I don’t trust the mutt, so I stuck him in his kennel before I stripped down and turned the water on. I can hear footsteps in the other room as I flip off the faucet. Smiling to myself, I don’t bother dressing and leave the white towel wrapped loosely around my waist before I head for the kitchen.
“Hey babe, you’re early,” I say as I enter the room.
“Mmm, hello to you too Sebastian.”
I pull the towel tighter around me and stare into the eyes of the woman I used to love. Or at least, I thought I loved. Seeing her now, in my space, a space I often share with Anna is quickly making me question anything I claimed to have felt for the she-devil standing in front of me.
“What the hell are you doing here?”
“Now, is that any way to greet an old friend?” she pouts.
“You know what, I don’t even give a fuck what you’re doing here, get out,” I say.
She walks slowly toward me, swinging her hips purposefully as her heels click against the floor. She still looks the same. Air brushed, too thin and fake as hell. Fuck me, how did I ever think she was the one for me? She extends a manicured finger and trails it down my chest. I back up and step around her, toward the door.
“I mean it McKenna, get the fuck out,” I grind out.
“Oh stop being so dramatic,” she laughs. “I just came by to check on you. I went through all the trouble of tracking you down and you don’t even want to catch up? What’s it been, five years?”
“Six.”
“Hmm, that’s right. Six years have done you good baby,” she purrs.
“Yeah, I bet. Does he know you’re here?” I shouldn’t even give a shit, but the words tumble out before I can stop them.
“What do you think?” she smirks.
“I think you need to get out,” I suggest, opening the door. “And don’t even think about coming back. We’ve been over for six years, ever since you decided that you needed a particular lifestyle. One that I couldn’t give you.”
“I miss you,” she says, feigning innocence.
“No, you don’t. You’re bored McKenna, and I’m not inte
rested.”
She pins her gaze to mine, no doubt waiting for me to change my mind, but there’s no way in fucking hell that’ll happen. Maybe years ago, I might have. But not now. Not when I have Anna and the gift of time has made me see the past so much clearer.
“Ugh, fine,” she sighs. “I can see I’m not going to get anywhere with you, but you know how to reach me if you change your mind and want to…spend some time together.” She leans in close to me, the smell of her expensive perfume makes me want to gag. “For old times’ sake,” she says.
I step aside and hold the door wide as she walks through. I’m about to close it when she turns and gives me a shit eating grin.
“I almost forgot to tell you, some girl named Anna came by looking for you,” she says. “I told her you were in the shower but that I’d pass along the message. Interesting choice for your first relationship since me,” she grins. “Take care, baby.”
Anna. Fuck.
I slam the door shut, striding back to my bedroom to pull on a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. I shove my bare feet into my shoes and grab my keys and phone from the table. I can hear Bruno snoring softly from the kennel, so I leave him there and head across the hall first. I knock and try the door, locked. I send Anna a text before I head downstairs. I don’t even know where to look at this hour, I know where Dru lives so I figure I’ll drive by and see if I spot her car.
Me: I can explain everything, please believe me. Call me.
“Fuck!” I wretch open the driver’s side door and slam the keys into the ignition. I pull out of the lot and fucking curse the day I met McKenna Chandler.
I make two circles around Dru’s building but there’s no sign of Anna’s car and I don’t think Ethan would appreciate me making a house call at this hour. I check my phone for the hundredth time but there’s still nothing from Anna. I decide to head back home, praying that I haven’t completely fucked up the best thing that’s ever happened to me.
Relief washes over me when I pull into the parking lot and see Anna’s girly little car sitting in her spot. I climb the stairs, rehearsing my apology over and over again when my phone vibrates in my pocket.
Anna: I’m at your place, I took the dog out. Waiting for you here.
Thank fucking God.
I open my door and see Anna sitting on the end of the couch, her legs tucked up underneath her. She’s got Bruno on her lap, sleeping peacefully as she scratches behind his ear. She looks up at me and smiles tightly before standing and placing the dog on his bed in the corner of the room.
She turns back to face me and wraps her arms around her tiny waist, comforting herself and looking at me expectedly. “Are you going to explain to me why there was an attractive brunette answering your door for you while you were in the shower?” she asks, with a humorless laugh.
“I don’t even know where to start,” I say, exhaling a rough breath.
“The beginning usually works,” she says, sitting back down.
I take the seat beside her, not knowing if explaining my past with McKenna will make it better or worse. But I know I have to take the gamble and hope that she trusts me when I tell her that nothing happened.
“I met McKenna in my senior year of high school,” I begin. “Her family had just moved here and she was new. We were in the same biology class and eventually we started dating. We were together until my third year in business school,” I say.
“So, there was a she after all?” she asks quietly.
I know she’s remembering the conversation we had on the way home from the hospital. She accused me of letting my past dictate my future, I told her she was wrong. Time to fess up.
“Yeah,” I sigh. “I guess you could say that. After my mother died and I decided to drop out of school, everything changed,” I add bitterly. “McKenna figured art was a hobby, she used to tell me it was cute that I messed around with that stuff. She never thought I was serious about it.”
“And?”
“She stuck it out with me for almost a year while I got my studio up and running. I told you before that I wanted to make it on my own, so I dropped my father’s name and walked away from the lifestyle I’d grown up with. I didn’t want anyone doing me any favours. I rented a small loft and poured everything I had into my studio. When I wasn’t working on new pieces I spent my time contacting galleries and arranging my own exhibits,” I say. “I didn’t realize it, but apparently I’d fucked up McKenna’s grand plan to be a trophy wife. I eventually caught her with a guy in an expensive suit, in an obviously non-platonic position.”
“Have you been in contact with her all this time? Is that why she was here?”
“God, no, I swear Anna, nothing happened tonight,” I say. “That was the last time I spoke to her, she sent a friend to come and get her shit and I moved in with Mason shortly after that. I couldn’t stand living somewhere that held memories of her and I together. I hated her,” I explain. “She didn’t give a shit about me or us, and I felt like a fucking moron for not seeing it sooner. For letting myself think that what she and I had was love.”
“And tonight?”
“She tracked me down just to fuck with me, she’s bored and petty and when I saw her standing in the kitchen, I told her to get out.”
She’s quiet for a minute before she looks up at me and takes my hand in hers. “I believe you,” she says. “I was upset, and if I’m really honest, I was pissed off. But I trust you. If you say nothing happened, I believe you.”
“I’m sorry Anna, I’m so fucking sorry,” I say, leaning forward and pressing my mouth to her forehead.
She tilts her head back. “Just to be clear,” she says. “I trust you Sebastian, but I won’t get caught up in someone else’s idea of fun. There are two of us in this relationship, not three.”
“I know, you’re right,” I tell her. “I don’t want to fuck up what we have because my past decided to drop by uninvited. You matter to me Anna, we matter.”
“It’s getting late,” she sighs.
She stands and takes my hand in hers, tugging me up. She turns for the bedroom, but I pull her back to me, wrapping my arms around her. She sinks into me and sighs against my chest. I thought what McKenna and I had was real. I was young and stupid and too damn blind to realize that she was never in it, not without a price tag. Anna’s different. She’s real. I’ve been too arrogant in thinking that she doesn’t need to know everything. Drudging up McKenna has put the bitter taste of the past in my mouth. I owe her more than I told her tonight. I owe her everything.
Right now, she’s mine, and if I want to keep it that way I’m going to have to man up and face the rest of my bullshit. But I refuse to bring her into the middle of a storm. I need to at least try and fix things before I tell her the rest. She deserves that much.
*
I wake up, my arm tightening around Anna’s warm body. I bring my nose down to her hair and inhale the sweet vanilla scent that makes me feel like the luckiest bastard in the entire world. She could have ignored me last night. She could have left. She could have but she didn’t. Her faith in me is humbling and something I realized last night, I don’t want to live without. We fell asleep last night the same way we are now, with her in my arms. We didn’t have sex. We were both drained and to be honest, I simply just wanted to feel her against me. A reassurance to myself that she’s here because she wants to be. That she’s here because she must feel even the slightest fraction of what I’ve begun to feel for her.
I glance at the clock, it’s not quite six. The bedroom is just beginning to lighten up. She begins to stir beneath the weight of my arm, pressing her lace covered backside into me while she mumbles sleepily. I can’t help but adjust my hardening length between us with a muffled groan. I place my arm back around Anna’s waist just as she rolls over and buries her face into my chest. I’m fighting an epic battle not to put my mouth on her and wake her up, but she’s so peaceful, I can’t bring myself to do anything but trail my fingers up and down her back.
/> The feel of her lips on my chest pulls me from my thoughts, her teeth nipping gently at my skin. She pushes me onto my back, her eyes still closed as she kisses a lazy path up my neck, along my jaw and all the way up to my ear.
“Good morning,” she rasps.
“Good morning babe, is there something you need?” I ask with a smirk.
“Mmm,” she hums against my neck. “Just you.”
She lifts herself up to straddle me, her thighs spread wide against my cock. She grabs the hem of her shirt, pulling it up and over her head. Her red hair tumbles past her shoulders in a mess as she blinks open her eyes and looks down at me.
“Just you,” she repeats, leaning down and pressing her mouth to mine.
Her hardened nipples press into my chest as I let loose a growl and thread my fingers into the mass of red waves falling around us. She moans, grinding herself against me, driving me fucking crazy as I reach for the white lace that conceals her warm pussy. I grip them hard and without meaning to, tear the flimsy sides, pulling them from her hips and tossing them aside. I can feel how damp she is against my boxers, and like a man possessed I rip my mouth from hers.
“On my mouth,” I demand.
She begins to shift onto her back but I’m an impatient bastard and I want her now. I grip her hips and lift her forward until her glistening folds are hovering above my mouth.
“Put your hands on the headboard,” I tell her. “I’m going to lick you until you’re fucking screaming.”
She hesitantly places her hands around the bars of the headboard, her eyelids fluttering closed as I bring her down onto my mouth and suck her perfect little clit in between my teeth. She’s fucking heaven, everything that I want and need. Her flavour consumes me.
“Ohhhh God, oh Jesus, Sebastian,” she moans.
I lick along her seam in steady strokes, sucking her pink bead into my mouth and swirling my tongue against it in hard circles. Lost in the moment, she lets got of the bars slightly and sets more weight down on me, grinding herself into my mouth like she fucking needs it to live.
