Lance glowered at him. "I didn't mean for you to steal her away from me! I was shocked at the news of my child, and I just needed some time to get my head together, that's all! I told you to take care of her and I meant take care of her until I got back, not steal her from my bed! What the hell is wrong with you? She is pregnant with my baby! My son! Now I come back ready to be with her, ready to take on my responsibility and the family that I made, and I find you with her trying to bed her yourself! How dare you! How dare you tell me you are in love with her!"
Oliver stared at him, dumbfounded. He had never thought for a moment that his brother might want to take responsibility for the baby and actually be with Grace. He was floored, and now there was Lance, coming home to try to make a family and he had moved in on Grace while Lance was gone. He had done exactly what his brother had accused him of, putting family last; putting his own brother last, and stealing his brother's girl from his bed.
"I'm... I... we didn't mean to fall in love. I tried not to. I did... I tried to keep everything between us platonic, but it just happened," he said quietly, watching Lance in utter amazement. He felt like he had been totally blindsided; discovering that his brother had come back with intentions to be with the girl he had left behind.
"You were going after a pregnant woman, Oliver? A woman who is carrying my child? Your own nephew? You're sick, Oliver! I can't believe you would do that! She's like a sister to you, Oliver! If you wanted some cheap piece of ass from a common whore, you damn sure could have gotten it somewhere else!" Lance accused angrily.
Oliver shook his head vehemently. "No! It's not like that! I love her! I want to be with her!"
Lance stepped forward and met his brother almost chest to chest, looking down at him in anger and disgust. "You’re not going to take my son and the woman who is going to be my wife away from me! Do you understand me? She is mine! The baby is mine! I am going to marry her and they are going to be my family, and if you try to interfere with that at all, you will no longer be my family!"
Oliver stared up at him and his breath was frozen in his chest. He didn't feel like he could move. He felt as if both of his feet had become one with the floor and he was as solid as the foundation he stood on. "You.... you want to marry her?" he whispered somehow.
"I am marrying her. She will be my wife, and there is nothing that is going to change that." Lance leaned down a little closer to his brother. "If you have one shred of common decency in your traitor blood, and even the slightest bit of family loyalty left in you, you will give her up and let her go so that I can marry her and have the family that I created and that I came back to build. I thought a lot about that baby and about her while I was gone, and I realized just how important family is, and you better realize it too, brother, and put it first. If you ever loved me, you'll back off from her completely and immediately, and let me have a chance at being an honorable man and marrying her so I can raise my son with her as a family, like we should be."Oliver felt like his heart had just been blown clear out of his chest. He had never felt so horrible in his life. He had been selfish just as Lance had said, and greedy, wanting Grace all for himself, wishing that she was his and only his, wishing that the child she carried was his and not Lance's. He had been completely greedy, and now that Lance was standing over him saying it, he knew it was true. He had been lower than he had believed Lance to be when Lance left; thinking that he did not want Grace or the child at all, and while it was true that he had said those things as he went to pack, his brother was right. He had just found out he was going to be a father, he was in shock from the unexpected news, and Oliver had never spoken to him once while he was gone; he had no idea what his brother had been thinking or planning while he was away. Instead, he took the opportunity to make Grace his, even going so far as pretending that she was his to marry and that the baby was his own son, rather than his brother's.
Oliver had never felt so much shame or regret in his life. He leaned back against his desk and stared at the floor. He felt completely destroyed. Not only had he let his only brother down and stolen his girl, he had made Grace love him, and now he was going to have to hurt her and break everything off with her, because his brother was right; she should be his to have and to build a family with, and she was going to give birth to his son. He deserved the chance to have her and raise his son and make that family grow.
Oliver tried not to be sick. He looked away from Lance in utter misery and disgrace. "I will let her go for you, brother. She's yours. I didn't know you were going to want her. I didn't know you were going to try to make a family with her when you came home."
Lance snapped at him like a venomous snake. "You never gave me the chance, did you? You just swept right in and stole her from me for yourself. Well, now you can go and tell her that you don't want her at all and that she should be with me, because you've got her so convinced that she should be with you that she isn't going to believe she should be with me unless she hears it from you. Break it off with her, all the way, and do it right now. I don't want her having any delusions that you care about her anymore or that she should be with you instead of me. I want her knowing that the best place for her to be is in my arms," he leaned closer, "and in my bed."
Oliver closed his eyes, trying to block the involuntary image that sprang to his mind of Lance laying between Grace's legs, kissing her and making love to her. His stomach clenched again and he nodded. "I will."
"Now, Oliver. Go break if off with her right this minute," Lance growled. "Then I want you well out of the way while I pick up the pieces and make her mine, do you hear me?"
Oliver's eyes raised up to his brother's. He felt cold as ice, and that is exactly how his response to Lance felt and sounded; like ice. "Loud and clear, brother." Then he launched himself off of the desk and walked out of his office, slamming the door behind him.
He stopped in the hallway for a moment, trying to catch his breath as he covered his face with his hands and tried to pushed the nightmare from his mind. It couldn't be real. He could not be living in hell, but as he took a deep breath to steady himself, he realized that he was indeed living in hell, and he was going to go to a deeper circle of hell when he had to tell Grace that they were through forever.
His heart felt like it had been ripped right in half and his soul had fled him. He had no idea how he was going to do it, but waiting would only draw out the agony of what had to come. He trudged up the stairs and down the hall to Grace's bedroom, but she was not there.
He walked up to the bed and ran his hand over the spot where they had made love for a long while that very morning; tasting, touching, and pleasing each other as the baby... as Lance's baby, moved and kicked around inside of her. He closed his eyes against the memory, trying to block it out, and he turned then, and walked toward the door, knowing that he would never be in her bedroom, or in her bed, ever again. He shut the door behind him softly, leaving that part of his life behind forever.
Oliver walked down the stairs thinking of her, and he knew right where she would go. He walked outside, each step more painful than the last in his heart, as he neared the greenhouse.
He entered it and found her sitting at a work table with an untouched plant before her, as she stared out of the window, unmoving. She was lost in thought and worry, wondering what the brothers were talking about. Wondering how it was all going to go. Wondering what would change now that Lance was home.
Oliver wished he could keep that moment still forever; the moment before he told her, as she sat there quietly looking out; the moment when she was still his, when she still loved him and wanted him, and everything they had shared together was good and pure and passionate in her heart. The moment before her world and their future was shattered. For him, it was already gone, but for her, there was this last precious moment before he changed both of their lives forever, and he let the moment linger a bit, soaking it in as he watched her and loved her with everything in him. It couldn't last forever.
"Grace." He
said her name quietly, and she turned around and faced him, startled. A smile spread over her lovely lips for a moment, until her eyes met his, and then the smile faded and fell, and she felt her heart begin to pound.
"What is it?" she asked almost breathlessly. "What happened after I left?"
His heart was hammering fiercely as he held his ground and stayed a distance from her, ready to swing the sword down between the two of them. "Lance and I spoke about what happened between us, and what needs to happen between the two of you. It's over between us, Grace. You and I are through as of this moment. Anything between us in the future must be purely platonic, and never anything more." The words felt like knives coming from his mouth, driving themselves into his heart, and into hers.
She stared at him in horror, her hand flying to her mouth and her eyes filling with tears. She slid off of the stool she was sitting on and began to come toward him but he turned away from her so that his shoulder was toward her, and he looked over it at her.
"We are done from right now, Grace. This is it," he said solemnly.
"But why? What... what happened? I don't understand!" she insisted, trying to comprehend his words and the pain that was tearing at her heart. She felt helpless; she wanted to go to him, to hold him, and to try to stop him from saying and doing the very thing he was doing by destroying them both, and destroying their future together, but she could not move. Her heart ached like it never had and she shook her head, trying to clear it of the nightmare she found herself in, and trying to deny the words he was telling her.
"No!" she cried out. "No! I can't lose you! I can't live without you!" She reached a hand out to him and he turned his head away.
"You are not mine to have and you never were. You are Lance's, and the baby is Lance's, and nothing can change that. We're done," he said quietly, and then he turned and walked out of the greenhouse, feeling like there was a black hole where his soul had once been. He had hurt everyone he loved the most in the world with his greedy, selfish actions, and he considered the agony searing through him to be his punishment for everything he had done. He could hear her crying as she broke and crumbled, and he walked faster, trying to get as far from her as possible. He needed to be far away from all of them. He walked to the house and up the stairs to his room. Oliver packed a small bag and went to the garage, purposefully looking away from her car, parked by the door. He went to his car, and opened the back door to toss the bag in.
The car seat was locked into place. He had forgotten, every vehicle in the garage had a car seat in it. He leaned in and unbuckled it, pulling it from the car and was half tempted to throw it in his anger and frustration, but as he looked at it, empty and waiting for his nephew to fill it, he began to weep, and the anger in him passed. He walked over to the spotless worktable against the wall and carefully set the car seat on it. He sighed and let his hand rest on the side of it for a moment, wishing with everything in him that things had been different, but they weren't different, and he had to let everything go.
Oliver got into his car and drove away.
Chapter 8
Grace stayed alone in her room for four days before she finally dressed and walked out of the room. She had mourned as if it had been a death, so hurt was she. By the end of the mourning, she felt betrayed and devastated, terribly hurt by Oliver's departure, completely lost in her broken heart.
She went to the greenhouse and tried to work. She tried to focus on something other than him. She had to get her mind off of him; he was consuming her every thought and all of her emotion was bent on him. She knew it wasn't good for the baby, and so she made every effort to focus all of her energy on the plants and flowers she was caring for in the greenhouse.
Her first few steps in were the hardest. She hadn't been in it since the night he had left her, shattered her heart, and changed their lives forever. She averted her eyes from the spot where he had stood and devastated her. Instead of looking at it, she walked past it and focused on the plant she had left sitting on the work table.
She was concentrating on it so hard and was so engrossed in her work fifteen minutes later, that she didn't hear Lance come into the greenhouse. She felt a hand on her shoulder and she turned suddenly, startled by it, and found herself looking up into Lance's dark and mysterious eyes. Grace drew in her breath sharply. She hadn't expected him at all and as their last encounter had rendered her in tears, she was uncertain for a moment of how things were going to go with him.
He smiled warmly at her and reached a hand to her back, laying it there gently. "I'm sorry I startled you. I didn't mean to do that," he said gently, beginning to rub his hand softly across her shoulders. "Are you alright?" he asked, looking at her with concern.
She stared and blinked. Was she alright? She wondered how that was even a question. Was she alright? She was the furthest she had ever been from alright in her heart and in her mind. She felt broken. Devastated. She was a wreck, inside, but outside, she was fine. The baby was fine. Everything else was fine, but she was not.
"I'm alright," she lied.
Lance frowned and looked at her sorrowfully, as if he knew better, and he was a friend that was there to help her through it, even though she had not asked him to.
"Oliver and I talked when I got home, so I know everything that happened while I was away, and can see now that he and you talked as well. I'm so sorry. You must be quite upset right now," he said in a soft voice. His hand was still moving slowly over her back, gradually edging lower as the circles he was making grew larger.
"You know," Lance said, biting his lower lip for a moment and then smiling lightly at her, "he really took on all of my responsibilities when I had to go away, and now that I'm back, it's time for me to take care of those responsibilities myself."
She looked at him in confusion. "What do you mean?" she asked as she blinked up at him.
Lance moved a little closer to her and smiled sympathetically. "He and I had a real heart to heart, you might say, and he told me everything... you know, even things that you didn't know. He never really cared for you, my dear, you see, he was just filling in my shoes until I got home, but I'm here now, and I want you, and I want the baby."
She stared at him in disbelief. "No... that's not true... he loves me!"
Lance's eyebrows raised and he pursed his lips. "He left you."
She shook her head and tears began to fill her eyes and spill down her cheeks. "But... but I thought..." she whispered through her tears.
Lance pouted with even more sympathy for her and reached his other arm around her to pull her into an embrace. He held her against his chest as she began to cry again, aching for the love she and Oliver had shared, or at least... the love she had believed they had shared.
"Oh honey," he said softly, "Oliver let you go so easily, didn't he? No problem at all, just cut you away and walked out of the door, didn't he?" he whispered into her ear. She cried harder.
"I know... I know, baby, let it out. Let it all out." He rubbed her back and held her tight against his chest. "He never loved you, he never even wanted you, except for some simple pleasure, but nothing more than that. He used you, Grace, he just used you while he was filling in for me while I was away."
Her heart felt like it was breaking right in two all over again. Oliver had left her suddenly, but she couldn't believe he had never loved her.
"I'm home, now, though. I'm back, and Grace," he reached his hands to her face and lifted it so that she looked up through her wet eyelashes into his dark eyes, "I owe it to you to give you a family and a good life. You know, he told me to take you, to have you, because since I was home, he didn't want you anymore. He didn't have to handle you anymore. I could be here to take care of you, and look how fast he let you go. Minutes after I was home, wasn't it? No time at all. I walked in the door, and he walked right out of it, because he didn't want you, and he doesn't really love you. You were just an easy target... someone he could... romance into his bed, have all he wanted of you to satisfy his
desire and give him pleasure, and you did that... didn't you... go right to his bed and give him pleasure." A shadow seemed to cross his eyes for a moment but then he smiled again and touched her face softly.
"He didn't care at all about you though, and not about the baby. He told me himself that he was done doing my part for me and that he didn't want you anymore. He never wanted you. He said he was just doing his duty to the family by keeping you here." His thumb moved over her cheek to wipe away her tears and his other hand moved in circles as he rubbed, reaching her lower back and the top swell of her hips where he massaged deeply.
"You thought he wanted you and loved you, didn't you, baby? Of course you did. He had you believing that, didn't he? But think about what happened when I came home to you. He let you go, he told me he was done with you, and he left... didn't he?" She wept and closed her eyes, nodding. "He told me to take you. He chose me... over you... didn't he?" She opened her eyes in shock, realizing that what Lance was telling her was true.
Oliver had chosen Lance over her.
He leaned close to her face, almost resting his forehead against hers as his hand moved slowly back and forth over her hips and her back, his other hand on her bare arm, caressing it lightly with his fingertips, moving back and forth slowly as he spoke. "How much could he have really cared for you if he chose me over you? That isn't love, is it baby?"
She wept as she began to shake her head slightly. It wasn't love.
He leaned his head close to her ear, nuzzling her softly. "If he really loved you, he never would have let you go, and he never would have chosen me over you, and now you feel like you're all alone... don't you?" he asked, his lips just grazing her ear.
She closed her eyes and nodded. She did feel alone. She had never felt more alone.
He brushed his lips softly over her neck in a gentle kiss. "You aren't alone, baby," he whispered. "I'm here. I'm going to take care of you." He moved his mouth from her neck up over her cheek to her lips and kissed her lips softly and delicately for a lingering moment and then looked at her through heavily lidded eyes. "He doesn't want you now, but I do," he said quietly, and his words found their way through her fog of tears and regret and pain, and she opened her eyes to look at him, feeling strange and confused.
The Baby Shower Page 63
