Cami nodded and smiled. "I love the sea, too." She blushed a little and looked at him shyly. "I never loved it as much as I did when the two of us were on Captain Heatherwick's boat." She reached the car and put Emma in her car seat, and then stood back up to help Roman put the stroller in the trunk.
"I wish I knew what happened to that boat, though. I could never afford it, but it holds such special memories for me..." She smiled at him and he looked at her thoughtfully. "I would just want to walk through it again, just to remember how incredible it was to be there with you." She almost turned away from him, but he caught her arm and she looked up at him.
"I know who owns it," Roman said, his expression stilled and serious, almost haunted.
Her smile widened in amazement. "You do?" she asked with anticipation. "Do you think we could go see it someday?"
He nodded slowly. "Yes, I'm sure that could be worked out." He looked down at her and saw the excitement in her eyes. "Why would it be so important to you?" he asked softly.
She blinked and turned her head a little. "I've never known a time as good as the one we had on the boat, and that's where my beautiful baby girl was made. It was a very special time for me, a magical weekend, and I'll never forget it, but I've thought many times that it would be amazing to walk back through it at some point and just reminisce about that weekend."
Roman nodded. "I feel exactly the same way about it." He spoke with a soft voice and a tender expression on his face.
She looked at him with enormous excitement. "Are you sure the owner wouldn't mind if I walk through it again?" she asked hopefully.
He shook his head. "I guarantee he won't mind."
Cami giggled happily and climbed into the car. "That's wonderful!"
They drove to her new house and cooked dinner together, playing with the baby and savoring the time they had. Cami knew that she shouldn't enjoy it as anything beyond friendship, but as he moved near her when they were cooking, each time he brushed her arm or touched her back when he was near her, she closed her eyes, she breathed him in and she loved the nearness of him.
She told herself that it was just her hormones from having the baby, and that when she got used to being around him as a friend, it would change and go away. In the meantime, she let herself enjoy being so close to him.
Roman loved spending the time with her; he felt happy and freed, as if he had no problems at all, and no rules, other than to remember that Cami was his friend, and that lingering too long beside her, touching her back or her arm, leaning in to hug her or breathe her in, those were things he could not do, and if he could only remember those rules, then the two of them would be fine. Perhaps it would take time, he thought.
They enjoyed dinner together, and then they put Emma down in her nursery. Roman insisted he would take a taxi home. Their night drew to an end and Cami walked him to the door, her heart light, and her soul blissfully happy.
"That was such a great visit. Thank you so much for it," she said, smiling up at him.
He nodded. "It was the best time I've had in a long time. Thank you." He leaned over and hugged her, holding her close to him for a long moment, and neither one of them wanted to let go of the other.
He finally let his arms fall away from her, and she followed suit, looking up at him with a small smile. He leaned down and kissed her cheek, and as his lips touched her skin, and her scent filled her lungs, he found that he was immersed in her and he did not want to surface from it. He raised his hand to her cheek and lifted his face slightly, so that it was a breath away from her face.
"Cami..." he barely whispered, his heart beginning to pound.
She looked up at him and she knew what she wanted, more than anything, she wanted to feel his lips on hers and his arms around her holding her tightly, but she knew she could not tempt herself with his closeness.
Roman looked down into her warm brown eyes, the same eyes that his sweet baby girl had, and he felt as if he were being drawn in by them, unable to pull himself back. He closed his eyes and his lips brushed hers; just the sheerest of touches, but that brief contact set off a spark in them, and in a moment, his lips were on hers, soft, warm, moving sensually over her mouth as she moaned softly and slid her arms around his back.
Just this once, she told herself. I'll kiss him just this once. It felt like the entire world had fallen away from her and there was nothing in it but the two of them.
He parted her lips with his and his tongue found hers, touching it lightly, trailing along the edge of it, and then caressing it tenderly, kissing her deeply and losing himself in the moment, and in her; in everything about her, from her outward beauty to her inward beauty, from her scent and the feel of her skin to the heat of her body as it pressed against his and he almost lost himself entirely.
His hands canvassed her back, holding her closely to him and then they reached up to run through her hair and touch her neck and her cheeks. He felt his need for her growing stronger and his body began to ache and burn for her.
Cami held fast to him, feeling the electricity from him shooting through her and making her feel completely alive and in need of him. Every place his hands touched her, from her back to her neck and her face, left a heated trail, and burned for more of him, and it was all that she could do to keep it in some kind of check. He grew breathless and panted, his hands sliding around her back to her hips and he pressed her up against the door, holding her tightly to him and their bodies burned for one another.
"Cami," he whispered breathing her in and tasting her skin with his lips and his tongue. "Cami..." Her name faded away on his lips as he realized what he was doing and what he wanted, and he let her go suddenly, stepping back away from her with a heavy gasp.
She looked up at him in surprise and wonder, waiting for him to speak as she tried to catch her breath.
He looked deeply pained, and his heart was full as he shook his head at her. "I can't do this to you... to Emma. I can't do this to myself and Denise. I'm married. I want you so much, but I have other commitments that I have to keep myself to. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen... again..." He looked at her and shook his head. "Please forgive me."
Cami felt her heart aching severely and she knew her Mama had been right. She had to be very careful around him and careful with herself and her emotions.
"I can't keep feeling like this for you, Roman," she whispered back. "This hurts."
He bit his lip and moved to her, taking her in his arms and holding her tightly to him. He rested his cheek on top of her head. "I know that. We can't do it to each other. We really have to mean it when we say that we are going to be friends. We have to make sure that we stick to that." He lifted his head and raised her chin with his finger, looking down into her eyes.
"I don't know what it is about you; you just make me feel so... so good, so complete and whole, like there's nothing missing from me whenever you are around me. I just have to figure out a way to make that work into a friendship," he whispered with sorrow in his voice.
She nodded to him. "It's the same for me, but we can do it, if we try. We'll just have to be really careful not to let things... go this way," she said, looking from his eyes to his lips, and then away from him, angry with herself for wanting him as much as she did.
He leaned close to her face and she drew in her breath and closed her eyes. His lips pressed warm and soft on her forehead, and the chasteness of it stilled her.
"Goodnight, Cami, my beautiful sweet friend,” he said softly, and walked out of the door.
She closed it behind him and rested her forehead against it, where he had kissed her, hoping that the door would somehow cool the heat that was blazing through her. She could not understand how any woman, especially his wife, could possibly turn him away or not want to be with him every single night.
She told herself that she was absolutely going to make a friendship with him work, if not for her own sake, for Emma's sake, because nothing could be more important than that.
Chapter 9
The taxi dropped Roman off in front of his house and he went in feeling tired from his day, from his emotional battles, and because he was coming home to what he was certain would be a fight. When he walked in, he didn't see anyone and he took himself upstairs to his room. It had been convenient to stay downstairs in the guest room, but it had been much better for him to be back up in his own room again, and it made him feel like he was really home to be able to be there.
He pulled his jacket off and unbuttoned his shirt partway, rolling the sleeves up to the elbows. Then Roman poured himself a drink and sat down to enjoy it. He knew better than to let himself get that close to Cami. He was still working out how to be friends with her; he should hug her and that should be it; he had no business kissing her cheek, no business being that close to her.
But, then again, it didn't take much for that spark between them to ignite. It was all he could do not to carry her into her room and make love to her again. He stilled his mind from the thoughts of it, even as his body began to react to them. He could not allow himself to think of her that way; to want her, and to need her like he did.
She was the mother of his child and she was his friend, a fact which she had proven over and again when he had been in the hospital and his own wife hadn't even come to spend time with him. Cami had been there for him, and he needed to be as reliable and trustworthy to her as she had been to him. He needed to make himself be her friend and only her friend for all of their sakes.
Roman sighed deeply and took another long pull of his drink. He'd have to go and talk to Denise. He had to make things right at home so that his daughter could have some kind of a chance at a happy home both with him and with Cami. It would never be happy if he didn't work things out with Denise. She was a step-mother and he needed to allow her to build her own relationship with Emma.
He drank the last of the amber liquid in his glass and pushed himself up out of the chair. With another sigh, he walked out of his room and down the hall toward Denise's room. He almost knocked but thought better of it, and walked through the door.
What he found should not have surprised him, but it did. Denise was naked and laid out on her bed as Armando hovered over her, his body buried deep in hers, banging away at her as she cried out and moaned in pleasure. His hands were clenched around her breasts tightly and he was calling out her name and speaking Spanish to her as he plowed himself into her body over and over again.
At first Roman only stared. The sight before him was the last thing he thought he would find in his wife's bedroom, in his own house. Especially after all of her begging and pleading to be with him and to make their marriage work, and then there she was, screwing her masseur again. Roman wondered if she had ever stopped or if she had just told him she was sorry and wouldn't do it again to appease him, and all the while Armando had been having an affair with her.
Roman's shock and disgust turned to rage as he realized that he had put his own happiness and future in the hands of a woman who cared absolutely nothing about him, who never had, and who never would. He had made her a priority in his life and in his future, and this was all that he meant to her. Nothing. He meant less than nothing to her.
He strode over to the bed and reaching behind Armando's head, grasped the man's long black hair, twisting it in his hand, and he yanked back hard, pulling the man off his wife and off her bed, landing him on his back on the floor.
Armando yelped in pain and surprise as he found himself splayed out naked at the feet of the husband of his lover. He stared up at Roman and Roman gave him a look of horrible disgust.
Then Roman looked over at his wife who was just opening her eyes and looking up to see what had happened. She gasped in horror at the sight of her husband standing there with rage covering his face. She scrambled quickly to cover her naked body that was lying spread eagled and open for Armando.
"What are you doing in here?" she yelled out, shock rocking through her.
Roman took two quick steps toward the bed and she scooted back away from him, yelping and grasping at sheets to cover herself. "It's my house and you are my wife, if I want to come into your room I will. What in the hell is he doing in here?" he shouted, pointing his finger at Armando who was still laying on the floor, not sure what to do.
Denise began to cry and wail and Roman lost what was left of his composure. He turned to Armando and shouted at him.
"How dare you come into my own home and screw my wife! How dare you continue to be with my wife! She's married! Get your clothes on and get the hell out of here, and don't ever come back! If I see you here again, I'll have you arrested for trespassing!"
Armando scrambled to his feet and got his clothes on as quickly as he could while keeping one eye on Roman. He was dressed in a few minutes and then silently stole out the door, closing it tightly behind him. Roman wheeled on Denise and reached for her, dragging her out of the bed by her arms and standing her in front of him.
She stood there naked and sobbing and Roman didn't want to see her in that state at all. He snatched her robe up off the floor and threw it at her. "Here! Put something on, for crying out loud!"
She yanked it on and got it tied and then stopped crying long enough to start in on a laundry list of excuses and tears.
Roman glared at her. "I can't believe you were screwing that guy again! Is he the only guy? Is he?" He took another step toward her and she backed away from him.
"Yes!" she sobbed.
"You're lying to me." Roman growled at her.
She shook her head. "Okay! Okay... there was one other... " she started to say but Roman looked at her and shook his head slowly.
"Two. There were two others," she said miserably as she sank into the chair in front of her vanity. "I never meant for it to happen, it just did!" she sobbed.
He walked halfway across the room toward her. "How come? What reason could you possibly have for screwing so many other guys? Was I not enough for you?" he asked angrily.
She shook her head. "I just... I don't know!" she blubbered through her tears.
"The plain fact, Denise, is that you are the whore," Roman said in a low angry tone.
"I'm sorry, Roman!" she cried out to him.
He shook his head at her again. "Do you realize that we promised the rest of our lives to each other? Do you understand that?" he shouted at her. "Can you even comprehend what that means?"
She nodded her head, as tears poured down her cheeks.
He shook his head at her again. "I don't think you do. I don't think that you can conceive of it at all, otherwise you would never have been with anyone else!" he shouted.
She leaned halfway up off her seat. "You can't judge me! You had a child outside of our marriage!"
He rounded on her and came toward her quickly, and she sat back down and covered her mouth with a gasp.
"I had one night with another woman, and it just happened to produce a child. One night! I agree that neither one of us should have ever been in anyone else's arms, but you had full blown affairs with three other men! Three! You spent a couple of years ignoring our marriage bed, but you weren't sacrificing yourself, oh no... I was in there alone every night while you were out screwing who knows how many men! You have no right to try to act like we're even on this! None!"
She only whimpered at him.
"You even tried to beg me to stay with you and fix our marriage! Isn't that what you said just a week ago? You wanted to fix our marriage? Well here we are trying to fix it; you're being a royal bitch to my daughter and her mother while you're off having sex with another man in my own damn house! That's not fixing it!" He began to pace and shout, flinging his fist in the air as he walked.
"What the hell are we even still married for? What is it that you wanted to save?" He looked at her and waited.
"We're married because we have a good reputation! We can't lose the good name we have because of a nasty divorce!" she snapped back at him through her tears.
His ey
es opened wider and he looked at her in amazement.
"Our reputation? Are you talking about your stupid society circles again? Who cares what all those other people think? Do you think they are adjusting their lives around what we might think of them? No way! We don't live to impress others, Denise, we live our own lives our own way and we make them the best that they can be, and ours are nowhere near the best they can be!
“We don't answer to anyone else, and I don't care what anyone else thinks of me! I'm not worried about some social circle who may or may not approve of me and what I do or how I live my life!"
She began to sob in earnest then.
"We're finished, Denise. I'm not trying to save a marriage that you are only involved in for show. That's not going to happen. You need to pack up your things tomorrow and you and that bitch of a mother of yours need to get the hell out of my house tomorrow."
Roman felt no sorrow for the way that he was speaking to her. She had earned every bit of it and more, over the years he had been married to her.
The Baby Shower Page 111
