by Kait Nolan
“Oh, I don’t know, Ms. Randall, maybe someone else would be better on this than I would. It’s been so long since I’ve been in a relationship I’m not even sure if I’d know how to pretend I was in one.”
Shelby looked down her nose across the table and pushed her tortoiseshell glasses up with a disdainful smirk, taking a long pull from her ever-present mug of hot tea before answering.
“Too late, it’s decided. Don’t let me down, Caroline. This is your shot to get out of the blogger pool. I’d hate to think I wasted a plum feature on someone who couldn’t get the job done.”
When Shelby stood, so did the rest of the room, filing out one-by-one after she swept from the room in a cloud of Chanel and Earl Grey.
“What did you just do?” she hissed at Kelsie.
“I’m trying to help, you moron!” Kelsie shot back, a wounded look on her face. “You are one of the best writers we have on staff, blogger or not, and it’s not often that the key editorial team turns down a feature story. This is your chance!”
“My chance to do what, fall flat on my face?”
Kelsie favored her with a choice look. “Your chance to do what you do best and impress the hell out of Shelby with your writing. Maybe you’ll even get a full-time gig out of it, just like you’ve been wanting. Weren’t you just saying last week that you didn’t know how you were going to pay your student loans this month?”
Caroline sighed. Kelsie was right—work was work. And this was the shot she’d been busting her butt in the blogger pool to get for the last six months. Max and Monica would be flexible on her schedules, they always were. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.
So why did she have the funny feeling that she was going to regret taking this chance?
Chapter Four
“Okay, just…right there! Perfect!”
“Can you hurry up and let me regain some dignity? It’s freezing in here, and I don’t know why I need to submit a shirtless pic of me, anyway.”
Ava looked over the top of her DSLR with a scowl. “Lighten up and have some fun, Andrew. They said they want to know what they’re working with, so let’s show them exactly what you’re hiding under those shirts and ties. Besides, if you really wanted to keep this totally anonymous, your wardrobe is a dead giveaway…you dress like my grandfather in 1938.”
“I do not,” he muttered, plucking his pinstriped dress shirt from the back of a dining chair and shrugging it back on. “I just like dressing up, that’s all. It makes me feel good about myself, especially when the rest of the office turns up in wrinkled khakis and the same button downs they were wearing in college.”
“Forgive me, your grandpa hipster look is adorable and I’m sure your new pretend girlfriend would totally love it if she wasn’t fake.”
Drew rolled his eyes for the millionth time since Ava rushed him home to set up his Virtual Match profile. He was sure that they were wasting time with some joke service, but once Ava set her mind to something, it was almost impossible to deter her. After a lifetime of escapades together as best friends, there was little she couldn’t convince him to do. Especially after he’d had a few shots of…well, anything.
“Okay, let’s just get this over with, okay? I hate this whole situation more with every passing second.”
“You’re the one who got yourself in this mess to begin with, so don’t give me the sass. I’m just trying to help.” Ava looked a little hurt, and he immediately felt guilty.
“I’m sorry, you’re right. I just feel like a world-class idiot, that’s all. The sooner I can get this over with, get my bonus, and get out of there, the better.” His could feel the tops of his ears burning with embarrassment. What kind of guy had to sign up for a pretend relationship just to get some jerk off his back? How the hell did he get himself here, anyway?
Ava bumped shoulders with him, giving him a small smile. “Once we get you out of this jam, we’ll work on finding you a real girlfriend. But until then, Virtual Match wants to know all about Mr. Drew Turnbull.”
“Ugh, can I use a different name? I don’t really want someone looking me up when they’re curious about the pathetic loser they get assigned to pretend to be in love with.”
“Whatever makes you feel better,” Ava said, cracking her knuckles exaggeratedly. “I’ll put in your middle name, Andrew Oliver, and they don’t want last names. Now which picture should we use?”
“Will you veto me if I say one with my shirt on? This isn’t an Abercrombie model audition. I don’t even know why I let you take those to begin with.”
“Because you’ve had enough tequila that you forget to disagree with me until it’s too late,” she giggled. “You should know better by now. Just think of it as inspiration for whoever the service matches you with.”
“Well, at least use one of the nicer ones for the lead picture. But make sure to cut off my face—I want this totally anonymous.” He had a nervous flutter in the pit of his stomach over the idea that someone would recognize him and see right through his lies. “Not even a hint of chin.”
“Don’t worry, dude, I’ve got you covered. And, in this case, uncovered. Now come fill out the rest of this profile. And don’t forget you need this to look real to the outside world. You can’t fudge too much or it’ll be obvious.”
The profile started off with the basic questions: name, age, sex, age, occupation. Ava had already filled those in, so he skipped down to the next section. It looked like questionnaires he’d seen for other online dating sites, only in this case it was to make sure his virtual match was as close to possible to his ideal girlfriend.
It wasn’t hard to be honest, once he got started. He liked women who challenged him more than those who weren’t up for a heated and passionate discussion. He wanted someone with aspirations and goals, a girl who wasn’t afraid to dream big. He knew he was looking for a quick wit, an easy laugh, and a brain.
That made him think of the girl at Java Jones that afternoon. She was sharp and sassy, with a confident, amused air that made him wonder what joke he’d missed. It made him want to know more about her, find out just what made her laugh and tease a full smile from those lush lips.
Why didn’t I just get her number? He mentally kicked himself. Then I might not be worrying about connecting with a girl who doesn’t really exist. I wonder who they’ll pair me with…
The flutter in his stomach turned into full-on nausea as Ava pressed the upload button and sat back with a self-satisfied smile. “I’m not so sure this is a good idea, Ava.”
“Too late for takebacks, Drew—or should I say, Oliver?” She teasingly batted her eyelashes at him. “It’s on my credit card, anyway, to keep you from canceling it on your own. By morning, you’ll have your very own pretend girlfriend for the next month, so get ready to fake-woo her. And have some fun. You could stand to loosen up a little bit.”
Drew dropped his head into his hands and groaned. “I think I need more tequila.”
~*~
“Another part-time job? When do you plan on sleeping?”
Caroline sighed and shelved another stack of new graphic novels. “When I’m dead. I mean, I’m young and I’m poor, how the hell else am I going to survive if I don’t do whatever it takes?”
Max looked up from the weekly sales reports with a frown. “I know you work hard to make sure that you can help Clarissa out every month, but I wish you’d let me and Brent help too. Neither of us mind taking her to get groceries or doing stuff around the house.”
“You two are sweet to offer, but Mom’s my responsibility. She’s almost better, though. A few more months of treatments and she should be well enough to find a new job.”
The last year of physical therapy had been hard on both of them. She still got chills when she remembered the phone call from the police, telling her that a drunk driver had t-boned her mother’s car at the intersection just three blocks away from home. Her mom was lucky that she wasn’t dead, but not so lucky that she could keep working while she recovered from he
r injuries.
As a hairdresser, she needed to be able to stand for hours at a time, and until her back and pelvis fully healed, she wasn’t supposed to be up and around for more than thirty minutes. The insurance settlement was spent long ago to cover the lengthy hospital stay and surgeries that saved her life. So until she was healthy again, she had to make do with the meager amount she received from long-term disability and what Caroline could provide.
“Well, when I drove by the other day, I noticed that the gutters were looking a little full. At least let me take care of that, okay?” Max’s pleading face made him look like an overgrown golden retriever, and she knew he had a soft spot in his heart that was about a mile wide.
“Okay, Max, thanks. I know she’ll really appreciate it, and so do I.”
“And just let me know what your schedule is at this place, and we’ll figure out the best way to handle your shifts here. Have you told Monica yet?”
“Not yet. But she’ll be fine with it, I’m sure. She’ll just be relieved that I’m still there to help at least some of the time. It’s a daily miracle that she doesn’t destroy her laptop when I’m not on duty.”
The shop bell dinged insistently, the chime loud enough to hear even when they were in the stockroom.
“Thanks for coming to Limited Edition…let me know if there’s anything I can help you find.” Caroline’s greeting was automatic, but instead of finding a customer when she looked up from the stack of merchandise in her hands, she met Brent’s smiling brown eyes.
“Hey short stuff!” He enveloped her in a warm hug. “How’s life?”
“Brent, you’re back! I didn’t think you were coming back until tomorrow.”
“I got an earlier flight, and I wanted to try and beat the crowds at the airport.” Brent Daniels was one of the lead editors for Pop Kultr, one of the biggest geek entertainment news sites on the web. He helped start it just out of college as a simple blog with a few friends, and over the years it had grown into something much more. He was Caroline’s unofficial mentor and the biggest cheerleader of her writing efforts. “Besides, I needed a break for a few hours. I’ve filed so many Comic-Con stories I’m pretty sure my hands are about to fall off.”
“Hey buddy!” Max came around the counter and clapped his best friend on the back in welcome. “How was San Diego?”
“Perfect.” Brent sighed happily. “Seventy degrees and sunshine. Not to mention nerds as far as the eye could see.”
“That bag on your arm looks awfully small to fit any of the cast of the Avengers in it. So where did you stash Chris Evans?”
“Alas, he was too busy with pressers to abduct and stuff in my bag for you. But I do have plenty of swag for you in my suitcase…and maybe even something signed by the Captain himself!”
Caroline faked a swoon, leaning against Max with her hand to her forehead. “By my frilly skirts, I might expire from excitement!”
“I showed him a picture of your Firefly costume from last Halloween, and he was pretty impressed by the workmanship.”
“He should be, considering how many hours I spent sewing ruffles together! I’m still pissed I lost the contest to the skimpy Batman and Robin girls. Their outfits were cute, but not nearly as intricate as mine.”
“It was a local bar contest, Care, not a cosplay competition. I can guarantee you’d have won something at a convention. You should come with me next time I cover a local event.”
“She’ll probably be too busy with her three jobs,” Max said, nudging her off his shoulder so he could circle back around to the counter. “Tell Brent about your new career as an investigative journalist.”
“I’m writing a piece on a new service that assigns people a virtual relationship…I’ll pretend to be someone’s girlfriend via text message, or email, or whatever. Apparently my editor wants me to explore the privacy aspects of the service and be around for when she thinks the shit will hit the fan.”
Brent raised an eyebrow. “Please tell me two virgins in a basement started this company.”
“More like two now super-rich college kids. And just because someone isn’t in a relationship doesn’t mean they can’t have one, I might remind you.”
“Or does your current state of singlehood remind you enough?” Max chimed in with a smirk. “I know mine does! Sometimes I long for the days of a nice, cozy long-term relationship, and then I remember how terrible I am at them. A text message girlfriend might be more my speed.”
“Speaking of, I’ve got to get to my orientation. Max, I’ve got the newest shipment all out on the floor and the inventory is done. I’ll update the system tomorrow when I get in. David should be here in the next ten minutes for his shift, so unless there’s a sudden run on the new issue of Ultimate Universe, you’ll be good on coverage.”
Brent snorted on a laugh. “Unlike the gratuitous cleavage in Ultimate Universe.”
Caroline left him to dodge Max’s playful swat and grabbed her bag from the office, giving them a jaunty wave as she made her way into the main square. The only good part about having three part-time gigs was having them within walking distance of each other — and Java Jones. She gazed longingly at the coffee house on her way past it, feeling the pull of the caffeine, but a quick glance at her watch told her that she needed to pick up the pace or she’d be late to her first day on the job.
The weathered, vintage brick buildings gave way to shops that mimicked the same style but looked brighter, newer. The founders of Virtual Match must have fetched quite a pretty penny from angel investors to score a space in the nicest part of town, she thought.
From the background information that Shelby’s assistant sent over, they were headquartered in LA and opened small offices all over the country to man the business. But the majority of the work was done remotely, since responses needed to happen in real-time.
That probably keeps operating costs low and lets them afford swank digs like this.
She made her way into the office just before the orientation was ready to begin, and the room was surprisingly packed. The crowd was more diverse than she thought it would be, with everything from college-age kids, likely looking to supplement their beer funds, to middle-aged soccer mom types who probably needed a job they could juggle alongside their family lives.
And then there’s me, here to judge everyone involved in the name of journalistic curiosity. Caroline shrunk down in her chair, already feeling like her guilt was written all over her face.
“Hi everyone! Thanks for coming. We’ll make this quick and let you get back to your days, so please take your seat and we’ll jump right in.” The chirpy blonde woman at the front of the room swiped over her shiny, new-looking tablet and the ceiling projector hummed to life, showing the app she was currently running.
“I’m Robin, and I’m the staff coordinator for the local team. I’ll handle your scheduling and any issues you might have with your clients. We’ll communicate through the employee side of the Virtual Match app, as well as via email when necessary. So please take out your devices and scan the QR code on my screen, and the app will start downloading automatically.”
Caroline fished her phone out of her bag and swiped up on the camera, tapping it twice to scan the app code. It only took a minute for the download to complete, and then the Virtual Match app popped up on her screen.
“You’ll use the username and password that were emailed to you with your new hire paperwork, so grab that from your emails and get logged in! The profile information you sent is already pre-loaded into your settings, and the system has automatically matched you with your first candidate.”
Sure enough, Caroline’s client list had already been populated with a phone number and…
Oooh.
A hunky looking shirtless torso? Hello there, Oliver.
Maybe this job wasn’t going to be so bad after all.
She took a deep breath, opened up a new text message, and started typing.
Chapter Five
CHAPTER FIVE<
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“What’s your deal today, boss man?”
Drew schooled his features into the best approximation of casual he could manage, and then turned to face his assistant.
“What do you mean, Macy? I’m fine.” He wasn’t fine, not by a longshot. Ever since Ava pressed the button to send in his Virtual Match profile, he’d been more keyed up than a kid on Christmas morning. He didn’t know why—it wasn’t like he even wanted to go through with the stupid idea, anyway. But there was a part of him that was more than a little bit curious about who might end up being his girlfriend for the month.
Macy looked pointedly at Drew’s phone, which was no more than a few inches from his laptop.
“You usually hate being chained to your phone, but you haven’t let it out of your sight all day. Not to mention the fact that you nearly hit the ceiling every time it buzzes. Expecting some bad news or something?”
“No, nothing like that…just waiting for a message, that’s all.”
The phone vibrated noisily against the surface of the desk, but Drew used every ounce of willpower he had to ignore it.
Macy’s quirked eyebrow raised even higher. “Must be some message if you look like you’re about to throw up every time you get a new email alert.”
“Don’t worry about it, please. I’m fine, just had too many tequila shots last night with Ava and my head is pounding.” It wasn’t a lie; he was hungover as hell after chasing his nerves with one too many Cuervos.
“Why didn’t you just say so? I’ll go get you a bagel and some Advil. Want more coffee, too?”
Drew handed her his mug gratefully. “You’re the best assistant to ever assist, have I told you that lately?”
“Show me the money, Turnbull. Then I’ll really feel the love.”
Macy disappeared into the hallway and Drew scrambled to unlock his phone. His heart started pounding when he saw that one of the alerts was a text from an unknown number.
