And because everything with her had to be extravagant because she didn’t pay attention to serious things like that, of course her appendix burst, and she nearly died. It was one of those situations where having one little thing sorted out in time could have made a significant difference. Abby had been complaining of the stomach cramps for a little over a week before it all happened, and when I told her to go to the doctor, she fended me off with that shit about the candy.
By the time she was taken to the hospital, it meant surgery straightaway. Usually, they did some sort of treatment first to make sure there was no infection, but not for her. She had to have surgery and then stay in hospital for just over a month. The day after her surgery, I was sitting by her bedside when she flatlined. Her heart actually stopped beating and she flatlined. To this day, that was the scariest thing that had ever happened to me in my life.
I was sitting there watching her attached to all these tubes, looking frail and weak, when the monitor went crazy.
Doctors rushed in. Her mom and Mia were there, both crying, and I could do nothing but watch. Helpless. I watched the doctors revive her. It took a while though. It seemed like forever to me, and I would never forget that sharp sound of the monitor coming back on. It sounded as loud as a horn to me, piercing through the horror of the scene. Announcing that we could still hope and she wasn’t gone.
It was one of those moments many wished for and never got. The relief that washed over me was indescribable. But I was the kind of person who imagined the worst. What if the worst had happened? What if she hadn’t come back? What if I left her side and got that phone call most dreaded and heard she’d died and I wasn’t there?
After that time, it worried me whenever she was sick, and it didn’t take much for me to rush to her. It didn’t matter what it was. She could have had a cold and I would be there, because I’d always be wondering and worrying that maybe it wasn’t just a cold. Like when it wasn’t just a tummy ache.
That whole hospital experience scared the shit out of me and made me obsessive. In my mind she was mine. It was like she belonged to me.
People noticed, and it was my grandfather who took me aside and had a good long talk with me about Abby. He told me that it was very clear to him that I loved her, and not the way a mere friend did. He told me to do something about it, but I brushed it off, thinking he was wrong.
Until the day Abby and I almost kissed.
It was an almost kiss that happened on one of our walks in the park. It was a few months after the appendix incident and she was still recovering.
She was ranting about gaining weight, and I told her she was beautiful. It threw her that I would say that, and at that moment, the question popped into my head. It popped into my head along with everything Grandfather had said.
I remembered it now because suddenly, like some kind of magnetic force, something had compelled me to her lips, and she’d moved toward me too. My lips had just brushed over hers when a little boy and his dog ran out of the bushes and made us jump apart.
That was what happened, and all that had happened. A brush of my lips on hers.
Nothing more.
We went home and never mentioned it. When we next saw each other, it was like nothing happened. In true Abby style, she glossed over the whole thing and started talking about where she wanted to go on vacation.
While me… the idiot that I was had geared up to talk to her. I actually thought that maybe, just maybe, we could try and see what happened. We were both eighteen and at the age where we could have done anything. I wanted to talk about it, but when I saw that she didn’t, I decided to push it out of my mind.
Push it to the back of beyond and never speak about it either. I just figured the obvious reason why she didn’t want to talk was that she didn’t feel the same or see me that way. I didn’t push the issue, and I went along with pretending because it was the sort of thing that could be uncomfortable. Or even damage what we had.
I always wondered though, and now there was this thing that she was asking me to do.
The whole night passed without hearing from her. It was the first in years that had happened. The next morning too. Usually, we would have messaged a few times in the night and morning. It showed she must have well and truly be upset with me.
I only went to see her in the afternoon because she was going to Vegas and I didn’t want her going while there was this friction between us. Mia let me in, and I went straight up to Abby’s room, where I found her packing.
Her hair was down today. Her lips a soft pink, and the barely-there eye make-up could have distracted from the slight hint of red in her eyes that told me she’d been crying. She wore short shorts that showed off her tanned legs, and one of those little tops with the puff sleeves and lace that looked more fitting for a doll.
She stopped packing when I came in and looked at me. This was the first in a while, too, that I’d gone to see her and she didn’t look happy to see me. She looked uneasy and unsettled. Pissed for sure, but this was the sort of thing you couldn’t push.
“Hi,” I said.
“Hey.”
“Ready to go?”
“Yeah, we’re leaving an hour.” She leaned back against the wall.
“Didn’t hear from you last night. I guess you’re still mad at me.”
She folded her arms. “I shouldn’t have told you anything. In fact, I shouldn’t have asked you.”
“Abby, you can’t be upset with me for something like this. That’s not fair.”
“No, it’s not. I agree. This is all my problem; all mine, and it was unfair of me to drag you into it.” She pulled in a sharp breath and straightened. “It’s me who’s screwed up and thinks it’s better to have the baby without the hassle of a relationship. It’s my fault I’m so dumb I couldn’t see this was the worst idea ever. It’s me who thought that of all the men on this stupid planet, you’re the best one. But God forbid that I’d want the best father for my child. God forbid that I want to skip over the assholes and the jerks. And in true Abby style, I pick the only guy who wouldn’t want me. The only one who wouldn’t have meaningless sex with me.”
A tear ran down her cheek, and she sighed, rushing past me.
I watched her go. It was all I could do. It was for the best because there was that thing again. That part of me that snapped; or maybe it was more like it unlocked or awakened. It awakened and waved itself at me, telling me she was wrong.
She didn’t pick the only guy who wouldn’t want her.
I did.
Chapter 5
Abby
* * *
I really shouldn’t have gone to Vegas.
Apart from being the wet blanket of the group, I was pretty certain Taylor was worried about me. Actually, they all were, and it didn’t help that instead of going out with them and being the usual life of the party, I’d gone to my room straight after dinner.
I’d gone to my room and watched some old horror films that were being shown on the hotel’s channel, old classic movies like Swamp Thing and Dracula. There were over a hundred channels, but I didn’t even bother to switch it to something better.
I think I could honestly say beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was depressed and possibly having a midlife crisis.
In just this past week, I’d basically propositioned two men. One was my best friend, the other was possibly a nice guy I could have gotten to know if there’d been chemistry.
I’d done all this with the hope of carrying out this mission of mine to get a baby. In my heart I knew it was bizarre, and I’d quickly realized that just because it felt right to me, that didn’t mean it would feel right to everyone else.
As proven by the fact that I hadn’t spoken to Gilly since the other night. That was three days ago. We hadn’t been in touch in three days, so quite possibly, I may have ruined a near thirty-year friendship because I wanted my best friend to have a child with me.
He’d be at the wedding today and probably wouldn’t tal
k to me.
I’d arrived with my sisters at Beaufort Hall a few hours ago. We had our hair and make-up done and were all dressed and ready for the wedding. Taylor looked stunning, truly, truly stunning, and I could definitely admit that I was jealous.
I was the eldest, and she was getting married before me.
Again, that was my fault though. Taylor had her head screwed on the right way. Not like me.
“Hey, you’ve been quiet all day. It’s unusual,” Vanessa stated, giving me a wide stare as she took a sip of her wine.
We were all in the bride’s chamber having a light lunch before the photo session.
“I’m just thinking,” I told her.
She and Mia exchanged worried glances, while Taylor looked at me.
“About what?” Mia asked.
Even though we’d had that conversation the other night, I hadn’t told her what I’d planned to ask Gilly. I hadn’t told anyone.
“Stuff,” I replied.
“What stuff?” Taylor asked.
“Nothing.”
“Really? That’s weird. I also noticed you haven’t called Gilly over the last few days.”
Sometimes I hated living with them and that we were so close. I couldn’t keep anything to myself.
“I didn’t think that was possible.” Taylor chuckled.
I looked at her. “It is. I don’t always have to speak to him.” And it looked like we might not be speaking ever again.
Now they all looked at each other in surprise.
Mia straightened. “Abby, this isn’t about that thing, is it?”
I stared at her. I kind of didn’t want to talk about my little situation as a group, but maybe I should. I didn’t want to be in this funk for the whole wedding.
“What thing is this?” Taylor asked, drawing her brows together.
I pulled in a breath and straightened in my chair. “I … I decided I want to have a baby and… I asked Gilly to be the father.”
Taylor gasped, Mia’s eyes widened to saucers, and Vanessa started choking on her wine. She coughed so bad I had to get up and grab her some water.
“Oh my God, Abby, when we spoke the other night, you never said you planned to ask him.” Mia gasped.
“You knew about this and said nothing to me?” Taylor asked.
“I didn’t know about the Gilly part.”
“What did he say?” Vanessa asked, looking at me with keen curiosity.
“He said no. I got the idea after I spoke to Mia. I realized I wanted someone whom I could trust and… you know, a person who I knew was a good man.”
Silence filled the room.
The door opened, and the photographer came in. “I’m ready for you, ladies.” She said, smiling at us.
“You guys get started,” Taylor said to Mia and Vanessa. “We’ll be out in five minutes.”
They nodded and left us. As soon as the door closed, Taylor moved over to me, looking like she’d just stepped out of the clouds and the lineup of angelic hosts. I was so proud of her, and it was wrong of me to feel so rotten on her wedding day.
She took both my hands into hers and smiled. “Abby, talk to me.”
I shook my head. “I’m okay. I just need to get through this weekend.”
“Why didn’t you tell me about this whole baby idea? And Gilly?” She bit the inside of her lip.
“It’s your wedding. Taylor, I’m so proud of you and proud of the amazing man you found. I’m so happy you found someone who is worthy of you, someone you love.”
“Thank you. That is all beautiful, but please talk to me. I’m here. What made you decide on having a baby?”
I thought about it and gazed at her. “It’s the end result. To me, it feels like having something in this world I can be proud of. I haven’t done anything that I can say is me. I’m not business minded like you. I never have been, and I don’t want to be alone.”
“You’re not alone though, Abby.”
“You know what I mean. A man can leave you. He doesn’t have to stay. But your child is yours forever, no matter what happens. It’s blood. It’s your child.”
She nodded, and she seemed to be the only person who looked at me since I came up with this idea like she understood.
“I get it, Abby, I really do. That’s the way I think about having a child too, except that I hope my man will stay.” She chuckled.
“Oh God, of course he will. I’m sorry. That was so not the right thing to say on today of all the days.”
She laughed. “I know what you meant, Abby. Talk to me about Gilly… So, he said no. Did he say why?”
“It’s a crazy stupid idea. I shouldn’t have asked him. Mia said that if it were her, she’d want someone she could trust. Someone who she knew would look after her even though the goal was to just have the baby. So, in my warped brain I thought of him.”
“Warped? No… I don’t think so. Abby, I’m going to give you some advice. Think of it as my last pearls of wisdom as Taylor Cartwright.”
I sat up straight, ready to listen. “What? I’m eager.”
“I think Gilly might have looked into it a lot more than what you think.”
“Like how, Taylor? It was out of line for me to ask my best friend if he basically would have sex with me and get me pregnant. That’s Jerry Springer talk.”
She raised her shoulders. “Abby, I don’t think you would have asked him if the idea of having sex with your best friend was completely out of the question.”
I stared at her.
Last year, she’d mentioned something like this to me, and I told her Gilly didn’t see me that way. I still didn’t think so, because if he did, wouldn’t he have agreed?
“I just…”
She smiled. “Abby, if you could ask the man a question like that, or even to consider doing something like that for you, trust me, there’s more to this than what you’re thinking, and I really wish that you would take the time to explore it.”
I looked down at my hands and remembered that time so long ago…
Gilly and I were eighteen and we almost kissed.
It was just after the whole nightmare with my appendicitis and nearly dying. I’d nearly kissed him. In fact, I would peg it as a kiss.
We were eighteen, and it was the only time I’d ever truly considered us being more than friends. We’d almost kissed, and the next time we saw each other, I wanted so badly to ask him about it, but I freaked. I freaked and glossed over it.
Then we never mentioned it ever again. Since it was like it never happened, I went along with that. Act like it never happened.
We did such a good job at it, and time pushed it so far to the back of beyond that I never contemplated it again.
“I don’t know what I’m doing, Taylor. Everything is changing around me. Everyone is changing, yet I’m the same. I just… really wanted this baby.” Crazy and bizarre though it was, I still wanted to do it. I still wanted to find a way. I still wanted to do it all the normal way.
Taylor gave my hands a squeeze. “You’ll find your way, Abby. Just promise me you’ll keep some form of an open mind. And give him some time. Don’t be too upset about this. Take your time.”
I nodded, and the door opened again. The photographer came back.
“Sorry, ladies, I need you guys now so everything can go to schedule,” she bubbled.
We both stood and made our way over to her. Taylor linked her arm with mine, and we walked together like we used to as children.
On the way out, I spotted Grandpa in the bar. That wasn’t actually a surprise. He never needed much of an excuse to find a drink. He always blamed it on that hot Irish blood of ours as if it really was the be all and end all explanation.
A large bottle of rum was next to him, and he was talking it up with a woman who looked half his age.
He picked up the rum and drank from it, giving me the perfect idea on how I would spend the evening.
As soon as my wedding duties were finished, I’d grab a drink too and
forget this week.
I just wanted to forget and start over.
Chapter 6
Gilly
* * *
Forget…
I tried to with the few bottles of beer I had before getting to the wedding.
I got here late, as late as I could because I wanted to avoid any awkwardness with Abby.
I got in just as the last few people were being seated. I didn’t even sit where I was supposed to, which was right at the front with my mother and father. I was pretty sure I’d get a bitching about that later.
I’d basically been at home since the last time Abby and I spoke. I worked out and went running around the park nearby. Nothing more.
I’d spent the time contemplating and yes… feeling bad. Feeling bad about what she’d said and that I left that night and didn’t go after her.
It was a big compliment knowing I was the best guy she knew, but the other stuff she said was the part I had to deal with.
Because I didn’t know what to say when next I saw her, I took the coward’s way out and limited contact. The result of that was drinking.
Four bottles of beer today already, and I planned to get wasted tonight.
The wedding was beautiful. Taylor and Dylan couldn’t have made a better couple, and I loved that they looked happy.
I saw the look on Abby’s face when she gazed into the crowd of people in the congregation and didn’t see me. It was a crestfallen look, and she probably thought I wasn’t here.
We didn’t actually see each other until the dinner, and I didn’t miss the fury on her face when a gorgeous redhead decided to park herself next to me.
Or the look of rage like she’d breathe fire when a leggy blonde asked me to dance at the reception. Abby looked like she was on her way over, then she made a U-turn as I moved onto the dance floor with the blonde.
What she didn’t know was that for the whole night, no matter who I was with, my eyes were on her.
Her looking like she just stepped out of a dream in her salmon-pink bridesmaid dress. Then her in a skin-hugging bodycon at the reception. The dress had a slit up the side that gave every man under the age of forty who was single and looking at her a great visual of her bronze legs.
Pregnancy Scandal: Bad Boy Bachelors of Orange County BK 2 Page 4
