It had started when I told him she wasn’t a good person. He accused me then of being jealous because he had to split his time between the two of us. Then, when I told him I didn’t like her because she was always mean to me and making some comment, he thought I was jealous because she was a model and I’d tried modelling when I was back in high school and hated it.
“What is it, baby?”
I sighed and pressed my lips together. “I saw Giselle last night,” I replied.
The instant frown on his face was what I’d expected. “What did she say to you?”
“That you guys had seen each other.”
“Yeah, I saw her a few times.”
My heart squeezed and my lungs collapsed. God, it was true.
“Gilly, she said she’s been back for months now. You never said anything.”
“Because it wasn’t important. Come on, Abby, she left, and I got over it. I’m with you now.”
“Are you? She made it sound like you two were more than just seeing each other.”
His hands dropped to his sides, and his lips parted. He shook his head and widened his eyes at me. “No, Abby, no fucking way. No. I didn’t see her like that. Nothing happened between us at all. She told me she wanted me back, and I told her no.”
I was listening, I truly was, but that part of me that guarded my heart for dear life against heartbreak was in full force.
“Why would she make it sound like you were together like that, then?”
He gave me a sharp glare. “Jesus Christ, Abby, she’s trouble. End of story. The woman is trouble and probably pissed that I told her no. That aside, I’m telling you I wasn’t with her. It should be enough. You should believe me.”
I should. I absolutely should. I just…
Didn’t know what to do right now.
“Gilly…” my voice trailed off as I looked at him. “I need …some time to think. I need to process.” Maybe that was best. Having time to process it out in my mind. Nothing good ever came from jumping to conclusions even if they seemed valid and like you weren’t jumping to conclusions.
He looked at me like I’d just slapped him.
“Why? What the hell for? Abby, you don’t believe me? You think I would cheat on you?” He gave me an incredulous glare. “I promised you I’d never hurt you.”
“Gilly, it’s Giselle. It’s her, and I’ve never seen you fall so hard for anyone apart from her. It’s the fact that it’s her. If I ever were to think of anyone you’ve been with who you were madly in love with, it’s her, and I knew you would have gotten back together in a heartbeat, even after what she did to you. You… loved her.”
“Yes, I did love her, but that was the past. I love you, and I always have.”
“I hear you, and I love you too, but she was this person you fell for at first sight. Remember? I know because you told me. I was the person you told everything. Gilly, I had a front seat ticket to the way you crumbled after she left, and now she’s back and wants you back. What’s to stop you from changing your mind and getting back together?”
That was it. I believed him when he said he would never cheat. But the depth of the love I’d seen him show Giselle was what got to me.
He didn’t love me like that.
“I don’t know what to say to you other than what I’ve already said.”
“Gilly, please try to see things from my side. You were talking about settling down with her. Just before she left, you wanted to have that talk about settling down and getting a place together. You said this was a bachelor’s pad, not the kind of place you’d want to raise a family in. Too small. I remember. I can’t express how much it meant to me to hear you ask me to move in with you, but you had bigger dreams for her. Those feelings don’t just go away.”
I didn’t think they did. If it were me and my ex I was head over heels for came back to town, I’d have some trouble dealing with that.
He shook his head at me. “This isn’t fair. Abby…what do you want me to say?”
I closed my eyes for a few seconds and opened them again. “I just need some time, Gilly. It’s not about anything you can say. I’m going on fact, what I saw… the way you were. I just…” I needed to stop talking.
It was best to, so I turned and walked away, not finishing whatever I was going to say, which would have showed the doubt I now held in my mind for us.
Chapter 14
Gilly
* * *
No answer …
No answer on her fucking phone.
This was the one time I’d decided to call Giselle, and she wasn’t answering. I knew why, and she knew it too.
She fucking knew why I was calling, and I supposed I wouldn’t see or hear from her again until she was ready.
I’d never been on the receiving end of her wrath before, but I knew what she could be like. This was the trouble I’d been worried about.
Except…
I didn’t know it would come like this, or that Abby would react this way.
“Still no answer?” Eric asked. He came out of the kitchen holding a bottle of water.
“No, she’s not answering the damn phone to me,” I scuffed.
He’d come by earlier when I didn’t go to the stadium.
I might have had my reservations about Eric, but he was basically the guy version of Abby for me when it came to friendship. I told him a lot that I would tell her and had told him a lot about what was going on with us.
I’d told him about the baby. Potential baby.
It was a big thing for me, and I had to talk about it with someone. I’d also told him about how I felt about Abby. So, he knew how this was killing me now.
He sat down on the sofa and looked at me.
“Gilly, Giselle isn’t going to answer her phone.” Eric shook his head. “Trust me, bro, a person knows when a phone call might not be a good one. Plus, I’m willing to bet that conversation of hers she had with Abby wasn’t the best kind. Sounds like she made it seem like you guys hooked up, and she knows you’re calling to chew her out for it.”
I threw the phone across the room, and it landed on my duffel bag.
“This is fucking bullshit, Eric. Why would she do this?” I snapped.
Eric raised his shoulders. “Truth be told, bro, that girl is one I would never have even messed with. Good on you for landing a model and everything, but I saw that nasty streak of hers from a mile away. We all did, but you were so into her you couldn’t see shit.”
“Eric, this feels meaningless. It shouldn’t be happening. Abby knows how I feel about her, and for fuck’s sake, it’s not like I’m just some guy. She knows me.” That was what was pissing me off.
He nodded. “I agree with you, but I’m seeing this from her side too. How come you didn’t tell her you saw Giselle, bro?”
I closed my eyes and winced. “I actually don’t know. It wasn’t for any kind of specific reason. The truth was, I was focused on Abby and this whole baby thing and how we felt about each other. Giselle was an insignificant occurrence in my book that didn’t matter. There was no ulterior motive in not saying anything, not at all.”
Eric sighed. “It’s Giselle, Gilly. We all know you were into her right from day one. So, I can see where Abby’s coming from on that front. She’s scared, Gilly. That’s what it is. She’s just scared.”
“I don’t know what to do. What do I do or say to her to make her see I want her?”
He shook his head again. “Nothing. You can’t push. All you can do is leave her to form her own conclusions. You’ve said all you needed to say, and it’s for her to trust you. Man, I don’t know anyone who’s gone that far above and beyond to show a woman their love for them. You all have great examples of parents in your lives. Not me. My father is an asshole who disrespected my mother every chance he got with his cheating. You guys never experienced that. So, I know what I’m talking about. The only thing you can do is give her the space and time she asked for and maybe talk to her as a friend.”
/> All of that was good, meaningful advice. It didn’t, however, help me because what I wanted was something to fix the situation right the hell now. That something didn’t exist because Eric was right. This was about Abby.
Giselle could say whatever she wanted and do whatever she wanted, but Abby didn’t have to believe or acknowledge it. I needed her to believe me.
I needed her to trust me. Trust in us now, not what she’d seen of me in the past.
It was all true. All she’d said about Giselle was true. I’d been ready to settle down with her. I’d wanted to take things to the next level.
But in my heart, I knew that if I’d had an ounce of an idea that I had a shot with Abby, there wouldn’t have been a Giselle. There wouldn’t have been anyone else.
I looked at Eric and wondered when it was he’d gotten so insightful. He’d been there a lot for me during this time and hadn’t been so doggish.
“Thanks for the advice. And being here,” I told him.
“No problem. How about I stick around for the rest of the day? We can go running or something.”
I managed a smile. “Not going to Cartwright Marketing Consultancy today?”
That was the other thing. I’d watched him find every excuse in the book to see Mia.
“Nah, I think I’m gonna give my visits a break. Or just stop.”
I smirked. “Eric, why don’t you just go see Mia properly like a normal person and apologize? Explain that you were an asshole, but you would like to see her again. Maybe for dinner.”
He looked down, pressed his lips together, and shook his head. “No, things have changed, and I can’t now.”
“What do you mean, things have changed?” That sounded like something was going on. As far as I knew, nothing new had happened.
“It’s a long story. A really long one.” He tilted his head to the side.
“Is everything okay?”
“Not really, but I’m dealing with it.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “Sounds like something you need to talk about.”
“One day soon, man. Let’s just say I’m not always the dog everyone thinks I am, and I actually did like Mia. Sometimes, though, it’s better to let people think the worst of you than tell the truth. Anyway, let’s deal with your problem first. Today, we hang out and I distract you. Later, you can maybe go see Abby if it feels right.”
I wanted to talk some more about what was bothering him, but I knew what Eric was like when he didn’t want to talk about something. He’d change the subject just like he did. He’d only talk when he was ready.
“Okay. You tell me what’s on your mind soon though.”
He nodded. “I will.”
“You think I should see her? Abby?” I would have loved to see her now.
“Go see her as a friend, not her boyfriend.”
That was going to be hard.
* * *
I waited until later. It was close to eight.
Today, we should have been packing up her stuff to bring to my place.
The way things looked, however, told me that plan was out the window.
I found her sitting out by the poolside on one of the deck chairs. Her hair was wet, and it looked like she’d gone for a swim. She loved swimming at night.
At least she smiled when she saw me.
It was a gentle smile. Small and polite.
Not like the kind I’d grown used to over the last few weeks.
The close to two months that I’d had her.
I sat on the chair in front of her.
“Hey,” I began.
“Hey. No lip ring today?”
She always noticed. “No, didn’t feel like it. Wanted to see how you are.”
She gave me a little shrug. “I don’t know.”
That didn’t help.
“I’m not here to pressure you or invade your time and space. I’m here as your friend. In the past, if you had a problem, it didn’t matter if the problem was about me, you’d tell me. I know this is different, but I’m your best friend. It’s my duty to be there for you even if the problem is me.” I nodded.
She wiped away a tear. “And what if the problem is me, Gilly? What if it’s me?” Her voice shook as she spoke.
“Doesn’t matter. You can still talk to me.”
She looked me over and wiped away another tear. “I’m scared. I’ve never been in love before, and I’m scared. Weeks ago, my world changed when the most amazing guy I know gave me two choices. All I heard, though, was the first choice. Be with him and have a baby. In that moment, as badly as I wanted the baby before, I wanted him more than anything. I was able to push away my fears about heartbreak and go with what my heart wanted. At the time, I couldn’t see anything beyond us, and the only thing that would stop me from taking such an opportunity was me. Me… and it’s me again because I’m scared to continue down this path and you choose her. Giselle.”
I hung my head. It was back to that question again. What could I tell her?
The only thing that came to my mind was to tell her how I felt, and it would be all I could do.
“If there’d been you, there would have never been her. And even when it was her, there was always you. Even when it wasn’t and I was with someone else, there was always you. Yes, you saw me fall for Giselle. I admit that, but, Abby, there’s not a woman on this planet I want more than you. That will never change, but you have to believe it. I gave you two choices. There is still option B.” It broke me to say that, but as her friend, I had to be objective and say it to her. “Either way. You have me. You know that no matter what, you have me, and I’ll always be there for you. No matter what you choose. Always there holding your hand.”
That was all I could say.
The rest was up to her.
I left her with that thought.
Chapter 15
Abby
* * *
I remembered when I was six and Gilly and I had to make the jump from kindergarten to elementary school. I remembered it well because up until then, we’d always been together.
In nursery school and kindergarten, we were that girl and the boy who were always together, always holding hands. People always made the mistake of thinking we were related. When we were little, we didn’t look all that different too because we had the same color hair and similar eye color. I had light blue eyes, and his were a silvery gray that looked bluer when he was a child.
That whole time, he’d held my hand, always there for me. When we got to elementary school, however, we had to split and were placed in different classes.
I was devastated and acted out because of it.
I never cried at all when my parents took me to nursery school for the first time because I had him. They never experienced what other parents went through with a crying child who didn’t want to be left alone, because I had Gilly.
That whole first week of elementary school was a disaster because it felt like I’d lost him. It was a rough time for me.
The following week came and I had the worse anxiety ever. I’d never forget it. I wouldn’t forget either that Monday morning, when Gilly’s dad brought him to the house to pick me up. When we got to school, the anxiety came back because I knew we’d have to part. He’d go to his class, and I’d go to mine. We wouldn’t see each other until playtime.
I burst into tears, and he took my hand and said, “Just imagine me holding your hand. I’ll always be holding your hand, so don’t be afraid.”
Magic words, because they worked.
Worked like a charm. Worked not just for that moment between us at six years old but continued to this day whenever I got nervous about something. All I had to do was think of him. Think of him holding my hand, and I’d be fine. Over the years, I’d gotten to understand that he didn’t have to be physically touching me. Gilly was always in my heart, my mind, and my soul.
Always there, and his words forever played in my mind.
Those words from all those years ago, and from last n
ight. Him promising me he’d always be there, always holding my hand.
I sat in my car across the street from his house looking and contemplating.
I’d decided this morning that despite my fears, I wanted to be with him.
My problem had always been that I gave up too easily. No matter what I did, I gave up when I had to fight because I was afraid of losing. It was the same situation here now.
I was afraid to lose Gilly to Giselle. In my mind, I’d recalled how he was when he was with her and how he’d looked when he was without her. I feared he would never love me like that. This morning, it hit me hard that the way Gilly looked when he was with me was very unlike the way he looked when he’d been with anyone else.
That look was just for me. That look told me he was mine, and it didn’t matter who he’d been with in the past. We were what we were now. We were what that little girl and that boy evolved into, and I wanted it. I wanted to see where we would go and what more we could be.
I knew that to do it I had to try.
Yes… the fears were all still there. This was about risk and taking that leap of faith. Holding on tight to hope and what you wanted most.
I’d been here for about fifteen minutes. It was after lunch, so he would be home. My first task was to apologize and tell him I wanted option A more than life itself, and I didn’t just want it for the baby.
I wanted it for him. I wanted him. I wanted to tell him that option B wasn’t an option.
I got out of the car and made my way to the front door. I had a key but thought it was best to ring the bell.
As I waited, I heard light footsteps on the other side of the door.
When the door opened, my mouth dropped as Giselle stood before me wearing one of Gilly’s shirts.
Hair tasseled with a wicked smile on her face, she looked me over with that mischief in her eyes.
“Abby, hey, there,” she cooed. “My gosh, I thought you were Gilly, thought he forgot his keys again.” She laughed.
Pregnancy Scandal: Bad Boy Bachelors of Orange County BK 2 Page 11
