Ian growled. “I wasn’t talking to you, fuckwad.”
Emily’s heart thumped. Jared ripped open his medical kit and pulled out a blood pressure cuff.
“I got light-headed again. I’ll be fine after I sit here for a bit. And I could use some water. Someone want to get it for me?”
Ryan didn’t move. Neither did Ian. Jared looked up from where he had the cuff around her arm. He pressed the stethoscope to her veins and lifted an eyebrow.
“Well, I can’t get it,” he grumbled.
Ian swore before whirling and disappearing down the stairs. Then he was back with two bottles of water. Emily took one and twisted off the cap before drinking gratefully. God, that felt good.
“Pressure’s up,” Jared said, “but that’s not surprising. Tell me what’s been going on, Emily. Don’t leave anything out.”
Emily glared at Ryan and Ian. “I don’t need an audience for this.”
Jared turned to look at them both. “True. Why don’t you two give us some privacy?”
Ryan’s jaw tightened. Ian shrugged.
“I’ll go,” Ryan said, “but I’ll be right outside.”
“It’s none of your business, Ryan. Just go away.”
He looked militant. “Not happening, sweetheart.” Then he stalked out of the room, and she knew he’d taken up residence in the hall.
Ian started to follow Ryan. “Let me know what’s up, Jared.”
He left the room and closed the door behind him. Emily let out the breath she’d been holding.
“Wow,” Jared said.
“Yeah, wow.”
“Anytime you’re ready.”
She began to recite her symptoms while Jared listened. He nodded and frowned a bit. When she finished, he only stared at her.
“Emily, when was your last period?”
Her cheeks flamed. “I can’t be pregnant,” she hissed. “It’s impossible.”
“Doesn’t sound impossible. Have you had sex in the past three months?”
“Yes.” She shook her head. “But I’ve been tested. When I was married. The doctor said I’d never get pregnant.”
“Doctors aren’t perfect. I think, before we go any further, you need to take a pregnancy test. We can eliminate it as a cause.”
Eliminate it as a cause. She didn’t know why those words made her panic, but they did. “I’m just hot. And tired.”
Jared’s expression was patient. “That may be, but your symptoms are consistent with the first trimester of pregnancy.”
She appreciated that he kept his voice low, but frustration hammered at her. She shoved her hand through her hair. Her scalp was still damp, but she was feeling much better now that she had water and a fan.
Emily lowered her head and stared at her lap for a long moment. She couldn’t deny that a tiny part of her wanted to believe it was possible. But submitting to a pregnancy test, getting her hopes up—though being terrified too because she wasn’t really ready for a baby in her life—and then being let down when the doctor’s diagnosis was confirmed? Soul crushing.
She’d been there before, so to go through it again? To be told, again, she couldn’t do the most basic thing a woman’s body was designed to do? It was almost too much. But yes, she had to do it. If there was even the slightest chance, she needed to know. No matter how painful it was to submit to something that would call up all her old feelings of failure and inadequacy.
“Fine. Let’s get this over with.”
Jared reached into his bag for a cup. “If you can get me some urine, I’ll test it for HCG.”
Emily snatched the cup and stood. She’d just gone, but she’d drunk enough water that she could definitely go again.
“Sorry, Em,” Jared said.
“It’s okay. Best to get it out of the way and find out what’s really wrong, right?”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
EMILY WAS TIGHT-LIPPED WHEN she emerged from her room. Ryan searched her face but there was no hint of what was going on in her expression. She clutched a lidded plastic cup in her hand as she sailed down the hallway to the bathroom.
A pee test?
Ryan went to stand in the door to her room. Jared the former PJ gave him a nod.
“Any ideas?” Ryan asked.
“A couple.”
“And?”
Jared sighed. “You don’t really think I’m telling you, right? That’s up to her.”
Ryan turned to look at the closed bathroom door. Emily was inside there, presumably peeing in a cup. He wasn’t sure why that was necessary, but he wasn’t a medic—or not this kind of medic. All Special Operators were trained in combat medicine, but Jared was more than that. And he wasn’t telling Ryan anything.
A few minutes later, Emily appeared again. She walked past him as if he weren’t there and then shut her bedroom door in his face. He resisted the urge to break the door in, but only barely. When the door opened again, the PJ walked out first. Emily was right behind him, still with her nose in the air, still ignoring Ryan.
He caught up to her as she headed down the stairs and put a hand on her shoulder. She stopped and whirled to face him.
“Don’t touch me. You have no right to touch me.”
No, he didn’t.
But, goddammit, he wanted to. And not like this. He wanted more, but he dropped his hand to his side and clenched it into a fist.
“What did he say?”
She couldn’t hold his gaze. “It’s none of your business, Ryan. I’ll be fine.”
He hated that she wouldn’t tell him. He hated the mistrust and hostility that characterized their interactions now. It was such a far cry from how they’d been just two months ago. She’d been a friend. She’d told him everything, and now she told him nothing. It hurt, oddly enough.
“I didn’t stop caring what happened to you just because you ran away, Emily.”
Her eyes softened a fraction. Then she started down the stairs again. “I have a job to do, Ry. You want to stop me, and I can’t let that happen.”
She halted at the bottom and turned to face him. Her eyes were pleading this time. “If you care about me, then you have to let me do this. You have to stand back and stop interfering.”
Fuck, he felt like she was maneuvering him into a corner. He did care. A lot. He swallowed. “I’m not interfering. I’m trying to protect you.”
She snorted. “Your idea of protecting me is tossing me on a plane and sending me back to the States.”
He couldn’t deny it. “Yeah, well, you’d be safer that way.”
“So would you, and yet here you are. Willing to risk your life to save people you’ve never met.”
“It’s my job.”
“And this is mine. I have to go talk to Ian about the meeting with Mustafa.”
He hated the way she said Black’s name. Hated that she was so comfortable with Black, and that she wasn’t with him anymore. Jealousy pricked him hard.
“Are you and Black a thing now?” he asked.
She gaped at him for a second. And then her face turned red. “What? No! Dammit, Ryan, why would you ask that? Because he’s a man? Because I can’t function on my own without a man to hold my hand? Jesus, what is it with you?”
She stormed off toward Black’s office with Ryan on her heels. “I have a right to know, Emily. I asked because you left my bed and went with him.”
She whirled on him again. At this rate, they’d reach Black’s office sometime around midnight.
“I went with him because he promised to clear my name. I explained that already. Yes, I wanted to fix my life and make you and Victoria proud—but now I know that I’m needed here, and I want to help get these hostages free. I want to put all the knowledge I have of the Freedom Force to use and stop them before they hurt more people. Don’t you think I have that right? That duty?”
He hated that she made sense. That she was passionate about the things she was saying. Because he didn’t want her here. He didn’t want her anywhere near a war zo
ne, and he didn’t want her associating with the same people who’d caused her so much fear and pain. It was dangerous for her to meet with a member of the Freedom Force even if the man was selling information for his own profit. What if he decided there was more to be made by selling her out instead?
“You aren’t trained for this kind of life.”
“Fuck you. Yes, I am. Life trained me to be here. But Zaran trained me to shoot, and Ian’s men trained me in hand-to-hand combat. I’m not you, but I can hold my own.”
He rolled his neck to pop out the kinks. She frustrated him almost beyond endurance. If he picked her up, flung her over his shoulder, and hauled her back to her room where he could tie her to the bed and leave her, he still wouldn’t be satisfied that she’d stay out of trouble.
She glared at him another second and then she started toward Black’s office again. Black looked up when she entered with Ryan on her heels. He sat back at his desk and folded his hands over his stomach. He flicked a glance at Ryan before settling his gaze on Emily.
“Everything okay?”
“Jared is doing some tests. We’ll know something later today.”
“What kind of tests?”
“Tests,” Emily ground out.
Ian shrugged. “All right. So what’s up? How’d the meeting with Mustafa go?”
Emily glanced over her shoulder at Ryan.
“HOT needs to hear it one way or the other,” Black said. “Proceed.”
Emily sank onto a chair and pushed the hair that had sprung free from her ponytail back over her ear. “I’ve learned there’s a new supreme leader… and she’s a woman.”
Ryan’s eyebrows climbed to his hairline. Black looked suitably stunned as well.
“Did you say a woman?”
“Yep, a woman. Her code name is Raja.”
Black wrote this down. “We’ll have to start listening for it.”
Ryan couldn’t help but be impressed that she’d learned this information. That didn’t change his mind about wanting her to leave the Middle East, however.
Emily started sliding her thumb up and down her thigh. Fidgeting. “He’s going to bring me the information on the hostages in two days’ time.”
“That’s excellent,” Black said.
Ryan didn’t say a word. He could tell by the way she was acting that there was something more going on.
Finally she shook her head and met Black’s gaze. “We’ll need five hundred thousand in cash, Ian. It’s the only way.”
Black didn’t look pleased. In fact, he looked a little nauseated, which amused Ryan to no end.
“Jesus, Emily. You should have cleared that with me first.”
Emily thrust her chin out. “Yeah, well, I didn’t have time. They’re moving the hostages soon, so time’s running out. They’re taking them to Qu’rim, to a remote camp in the desert—I thought you’d prefer we didn’t go back to square one.”
“I’d prefer we didn’t give half a million to a fucking terrorist.”
“I’d prefer it too—but that’s his price. What do you want to do? Say no way? The Freedom Force’s price is going to be much higher when they get around to mentioning it…”
She let the sentence trail off. Black’s gaze sharpened. “Which is?”
“They want Al Ahmad.”
Holy shit. But there was no way the US was ever letting Al Ahmad free from Guantanamo. They all knew it too.
Black raked a hand through his hair. “Fuck.”
“Exactly,” Emily said.
There was a knock on the wall and the three of them swung around to see Jared in the open door. “Got a second, Emily?”
*
Ian unlocked the secure server room and went inside to make a phone call from the secure sat phone. He had one on his desk, but this one was more private. He dialed the special number in Washington and waited for his handler to pick up.
“Hello, Odysseus,” his handler said, using his code name. “Is all well on your ship?”
Ian snorted. “I’ve got two HOT squads under my roof, a girl who’s more trouble than I thought she’d be, and the usual assortment of troubles from any number of quarters. Sure, everything’s absolutely fine.”
Phoenix laughed. “Sounds like fun. I sometimes miss fieldwork.”
“Come on over. We’ll find you a bed.”
“Mmm, hardly. What have you got for me? You wouldn’t be calling if it wasn’t good.”
“Emily’s learned that the Freedom Force has a new leader. A woman called Raja.”
Phoenix whistled. “Wow, now that’s something worth knowing. Any idea who this Raja is?”
He’d been thinking about it for a while. He’d had contact with the Freedom Force over the past couple of years, selling them things, doing dirty deeds for them—though never anything too dirty—and basically proving he was a man with no morals so they’d trust him with their business.
“I wish I knew. There weren’t really any women in the hierarchy, not typically. Behind the scenes, sure. Wives of powerful men. But no active lieutenants.”
“Could it be a wife? What about Al Ahmad’s wife?”
“Fatima al-Faizan? I doubt it. She was decorative, not a part of the organization at all. She seemed stunned when the truth came out.”
Phoenix sighed. “Maybe a woman who joined the cause and worked her way up through the ranks quite suddenly. There was a power vacuum when Zaran bin Yusuf was killed that might have enabled someone to take advantage.”
“Maybe.”
“Does Emily have any ideas? She was a part of the organization for three years.”
“I haven’t asked her yet. There was a HOT operator in the room at the time.”
“I see. I suppose Mendez is hearing the same news right about now.”
“Yes, I imagine he is.” And wondering the same things about who Raja might be.
“This is tricky, Odysseus. I didn’t want HOT there, but I was overruled. Cooperating with them is dangerous to our overall mission, like talking to me is dangerous for you, so the faster we get those hostages free, the sooner you can go back to business as usual.”
He knew Phoenix was right. Sometimes he hated business as usual. But smoking out traitors in the belly of your own government was a worthy cause—and one that could get him killed if he didn’t tread carefully. He’d alienated himself from the good guys and made himself into one of the bad guys—or at least one of the guys who didn’t care where his money came from so long as it kept on coming. It had taken years and a lot of sacrifice—and he couldn’t go back now.
Officially, he was disavowed. Unofficially, he was deep black. Ironic, considering his name. Sometimes he missed Langley. Sometimes he missed normal.
“There’s something else,” Ian said, knowing Phoenix wasn’t going to be pleased about the money. He kept a million in cash for bribes, equipment, etc. Losing half of that in a chunk was going to hurt. “We may know where the hostages are in two days’ time… but it comes with a price.”
“How much of a price?”
“Half a million.”
Phoenix swore. “Do you trust the asset to deliver?”
Ian fixed his gaze on the stone wall outside the Faraday cage. “Not particularly, no.”
“Then I assume you have a backup plan?”
“Yes.”
“Good.”
Phoenix didn’t ask what the plan was, and Ian didn’t say. He knew his handler didn’t want the details. Phoenix wanted results.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
PREGNANT.
Emily clutched the piece of paper in her hand that reported her HCG levels were consistent with pregnancy. Jared couldn’t date the pregnancy, but Emily knew. There was only one possibility.
One illicit night with Ryan two months ago and she was pregnant. Her eyes filled with tears as fury rolled in her belly.
Not fury that she was pregnant, but fury at Zaran, at the doctor who’d told her she would never have children. She’d believed she wa
s damaged, incapable. Not complete, even though she knew the ability to have children didn’t define her as a woman.
“You’ll need to get checked. An ultrasound, prenatal appointments. I’ll give you something to help the nausea, but you’ll have to be careful in this heat. Stay indoors during midday, hydrate, get plenty of rest.”
She looked up at Jared through blurry eyes. She’d followed him from Ian’s office until they’d found a private corner to speak in. The news he’d given her had stolen her breath. And her voice, it seemed.
All she could do was nod.
Jared put a hand on her shoulder and squeezed. “It’ll be all right, Em. You’ll figure it out.”
Would she? They both knew this would be the end of her work here. She nodded again. Jared dropped his hand back to his side.
“I can arrange a visit to a women’s clinic. There are a few good ones here in Al-Izir. You can at least get started while you figure out what to do next.”
Somehow, she found her voice. “Next week.”
“Sure.”
Because she needed to meet with Mustafa in two days, and she needed to take half a million dollars with her. Part of her wanted to fold up shop and get on the next plane home, but she couldn’t do it. Now, more than ever, she had to do this job and clear her name. She had to do it for her baby, or the poor thing would never have a normal life.
Neither would she. And neither would her baby’s father.
A chill slid through her. Ryan. Oh God, how could she tell him? What would he say? She knew, without a doubt, that he’d redouble his insistence that she leave Acamar. She clenched the paper in her hand and gritted her teeth.
That was not happening. Not yet. She had to help find those hostages, and she had to hope that was enough for Ian to live up to his promise.
Jared handed her a bottle of nausea medication from his kit and explained how to take it. Then he left her there to gather her wits. Emily sucked in a breath before swiping at her eyes and sniffling. She took the stairs up to her room.
But when she opened the door, the room was occupied. Ryan stood at the window, looking somehow bigger and more imposing than he’d been earlier. He turned as she entered. Fury churned inside her belly, but there was also a healthy dose of fear this time.
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