by Norah Wilson
Don’t get too comfortable, Siliker. This is just for a minute. Just to catch your breath and get your bearings.
Removing her gloves, she dug out the old map from her pack, unfolded it far enough to reveal the markings she’d noted earlier. The wind whipped at the strands of hair that had escaped her hat and she had to trap them to see the map clearly. There! She had remembered correctly. Someone had written E&J in red ink on the map. This was a marker. A family marker. She was definitely still on Angel Trail and right on track for White Crow. But she knew the next section of the climb was even harder. She’d never been this high up Harkness Mountain, but she’d heard about it.
She oriented herself with the sun, and looked south. Home was that way.
Oh God, her mother was probably frantic with worry.
Okay, probably not frantic yet. Scott would have delivered the message that she was safe up here with Titus Standish, who’d see her down the mountain today. That name—Titus Standish— meant something to Faye Siliker.
Hell, it meant something to the whole town—things were being taken care of if Titus Standish was seeing to them.
That name meant something to Ocean too.
Dammit, the man meant something to her.
Now more than ever. After his touch, and his kiss. Every moment she’d spent with him had brought her heart back to where it had been in high school. Back when he’d been Ember’s tall and lean older brother, and she’d been a shy, smitten kid hoping he would notice her. The one with the notebooks: writing words on the pages, and just as earnestly, drawing hearts in the margins. And initials that only she and Lacey would see.
OS <3 TS
Now there were different notes in the margins of her writing.
She refolded the map and put it back in her pack, then looked back down the trail from whence she’d come. No sign of Titus. Yet. By now, he’d surely be up. She could so easily picture him entering the cabin, finding her gone, stomping around...
He would no doubt have found her manuscript—the kindling—she’d left behind.
Should I have done that?
Well, she hadn’t wanted to steal the map. This way, she was trading him something for it.
Except that was bullshit, wasn’t it? She’d wanted Titus to know. As angry as she was with him, as rejected and hurt as she’d felt, on some level she’d wanted him to know that she wasn’t what he thought. She wasn’t this big New York City writer he assumed she was. She hadn’t taken Broadway by storm. Or at all.
She hadn’t done anything but come home. And wasn’t it convenient that her mother had suddenly needed her to come back to New Brunswick just as Ocean had been about to throw in the writerly towel, and hadn’t known what she was going to do next?
Well, maybe her mother hadn’t needed her to come home, but she had started talking about how difficult it was maintaining the place with both her daughters gone, and how she wasn’t getting any younger. It had been the perfect out for Ocean to pack her bags and come home.
And because she couldn’t stand being a fraud, she’d scribbled that note about the fair trade on the front page of her eviscerated manuscript and left it there, taking the map and half the rations. Well, close to half. She’d left him most of the gingersnaps, which he’d forgotten to stash back in his jacket pocket.
The wind gusted stronger. A pine bough swished down toward her and she ducked. And oh crap! Was that a raindrop she’d felt on her cheek? She looked up at the sky. No more droplets hit her upturned face, but she wasn’t particularly reassured. From the look of those heavy, dark clouds, rain was definitely on the way.
Rain. That would make this task of hers even more dangerous.
Because she didn’t want to dwell on that, and maybe because she couldn’t stop herself, her thoughts went back to Titus. He was going to be so pissed when he found her gone.
She didn’t want to dwell on that either. So she let her mind take her back to last night and the way it had felt to have him look at her with desire. To kiss her and touch her...
How, after all these years, could she still feel the same about him?
Just seeing him or hearing his voice was enough to make her heart beat faster. It always had, since those first few years of her young adulthood. This was more than a crush. Despite what everyone thought, it always had been. And always would be. Her heart knew what it wanted.
Ocean and Titus up a tree…
Kissing, and doing everything that wild heart of hers could imagine.
And the worst part was, now that she’d had a taste of him, she could imagine it all the more.
She drew a deep, pained breath. But the pain she felt had nothing to do with her physical injuries. Despite the colorful bruises, her side was actually feeling much better this morning. As she’d told Titus, it was her pride that had suffered the biggest injury in the fall.
And hadn’t her pride taken another beating last night?
Because no matter what this thing was that she felt for him, it was painfully clear he didn’t feel the same about her. And she sure hadn’t endeared herself to him by stealing away from the cabin before dawn.
Tears welled, but she blinked them away.
No feeling sorry for herself. It was what it was.
And her mission on this mountain hadn’t changed. She’d get back on that trail, heading to White Crow, in just another minute.
She leaned back, pulled her hat down more securely against the wind and closed her aching eyes. Not to sleep, but to rest her weary bones as her mom always said. She brought her knees up, tucked her arms to her chest, and hunkered down inside the warmth of her jacket. With her eyes closed, she listened to the wind soughing through the trees and over the exposed rock. She felt that wind too as it whipped around her, tugging at loose strands of hair. Despite the constant stirring of nature, there was a palpable peace here that eased her. Even the cold from the rock that pressed into her butt and back was part of it.
But she had to get going. She couldn’t stay here. The peace couldn’t last.
She opened her eyes and sat up. Any peace she’d gathered was blasted away.
A coyote stood maybe ten yards away, contemplating her. Ocean’s heart skipped a beat, then started pounding heavily.
They both froze; their eyes locked.
What had Titus said? Wild animals would leave people alone if people left them alone.
This one obviously hadn’t gotten that memo.
“Get!” she commanded. “Go on! Get out of here. Now!”
Head down, it studied Ocean, then inched closer.
Had the animal been sneaking up on her all this while? Watching her? Stalking her? Was it alone or part of a pack?
She scanned the area. Not another coyote in sight, though of course they’d be naturally well camouflaged in this environment. The way this one acted, the way it advanced on her so tentatively, she figured it must be alone.
But what did she know about coyotes? She’d only ever seen one during her childhood, loping along at the bottom of a field. She’d heard that their numbers had increased in recent years. And yes, she’d read about attacks. Even fatal ones, like that one on the woman in Cape Breton.
“Get out of here,” she hissed. Or rather tried to hiss. Her words came out more as a panic-filled plea.
Domestic dogs sensed fear. Wasn’t that what they said? Did this wild canine cousin sense her fear? Did that make it braver?
Slowly, she got to her feet. But as she did so, the coyote edged closer, treading cautiously, never breaking eye contact.
She tensed from head to toe. Adrenaline skyrocketed through her, fueling every muscle for flight. And all she could think to do was run. Fly the hell out of there. The animal was straight ahead; her back was to the ledge. She’d have to run left, down the mountain, or right, continuing up the mountain. Either way, her back would be to the animal. And with this terrain, “run” wasn’t the right word. She couldn’t possibly move fast enough to outpace the coyote, even if she cho
se to go back down. She pictured herself making a run for it, the coyote bounding after her. She could practically feel its teeth sinking into her skin, its weight on top of her as it crashed her to the ground.
But what choice did she have?
The coyote halted and looked left.
“Stay right where you are.”
The soft, even command came from her left. She turned her head to look. Titus! He’d caught up to her. Well, almost. She could see only his head and torso. Another few feet and he’d be on this ledge. Why had he stopped?
The coyote looked back at her, then at Titus, and growled low in its throat.
Ah, so that was why. He didn’t want to agitate the coyote. It could be on top of her a lot quicker than Titus could reach her. She knew it. But her limbs were still screaming at her to run.
“Ocean, did you hear me? Stay put, okay?”
“Okay,” she said. She stood perfectly still, apart from the trembling, not even taking her eyes off the coyote to look over at Titus again. “What do I do?”
“Climb right up on that rock behind you. Make yourself taller.”
It took her a few seconds of conscious willing to make her muscles cooperate, but once they got the message, she stepped up onto the rock. The coyote seemed to shrink down a bit.
“Now what?” she called, still not looking away from the animal.
“I’m coming up. If it advances on you, throw something at it and yell.”
Her pack was on the ground. What could she throw? One of her hiking shoes? But what if it took off with it? She felt her pockets. The only thing with any heft to it at all was her Android phone in its fat protective casing. It wasn’t currently serving any use as a phone, anyway, without cellular service. So it might as well be a projectile. She pulled it slowly from her pocket.
She heard a tiny shower of pebbles and the scrape of hiking boots. Titus was coming up onto the ledge. The coyote crouched down even further. She took her eyes off the animal long enough to flick a glance toward Titus. She saw him bend to pick up a couple of rocks.
“Get out of here!” His right arm cocked back like the weapon it was and he unleashed a rock at the coyote.
The rock struck the animal. It leapt back.
“Go on! Get out of here!”
The animal hesitated.
“Okay, fella, I gave you a chance.” Titus unzipped his coat and slid his hand into an inside pocket.
“Oh, don’t shoot it!”
“It’s bear spray,” he said dryly. “I’m search and rescue, not a game warden.” He took a stride closer to the coyote and gave it a blast of pepper spray. With a startled yelp, the coyote turned tail and pelted off up the trail.
Titus stood, legs planted wide, knees flexed in readiness. She watched him scan the area, his head moving from left to right and back again, nostrils flared. He still gripped the spray canister in his right hand, ready to use it to drive off any threat.
Then he turned to her, his eyes hot.
Chapter 17
OCEAN HOPPED down off her rock perch and flung her arms around Titus’s neck, pressing her face to his chest.
Safe. She was safe.
She pressed closer to him and he closed his arms around her, holding her stiffly. For a moment, they stood like that. And for a moment, it was enough. But she wanted so much more from him than this reluctant comfort. Even so, it was hard to make herself pull away. She was just about to step back when he sighed with something between frustration and relief. With that expulsion of breath, the stiffness seemed to go right out of him. He gathered her closer, crushing her to him.
The wind gusted, tearing at them with renewed vigor, and his arms tightened all the more. “What am I going to do with you, Ocean Siliker?”
Her heart did that flippy thing.
Except she was supposed to be mad at him. Correction: she was mad at him. But right now, nothing in the world could possibly feel better than to feel this safe.
But to feel this…everything else?
Titus had made it very clear last night he wasn’t interested in getting entangled with her. Wasn’t prepared to step off any emotional ledges.
“Sorry about that.” She pulled back. He released her, but didn’t step away. Neither did she. “I was so scared.”
“Me too.”
She lifted an eyebrow. “Yeah, right. Titus the Titan afraid out here? No. You’re too much in command of any situation to be scared.”
Titus looked back at her for a long moment. And though he didn’t move a muscle, didn’t so much as blink, she had the sudden conviction that she’d wounded him. Before she could explore that idea further, he’d cleared his throat and spoke.
“It was pretty young.”
“I’m sorry...what?”
“The coyote who was checking you out. It was a juvenile male, and it didn’t appear to be traveling with a pack.”
She shuddered. “That’s the first thing I thought when I saw it. That there’d be others.”
“Fortunately not.”
She frowned. “But they are pack animals, aren’t they?”
“Very much so. Pack is everything.”
“Why would it be alone?”
He shrugged. “I’m no expert. Maybe it got driven out of a pack with too many males. Maybe it challenged the alpha and got run off. Or maybe something happened to his pack and he’s looking to hook up with another one before winter.”
She felt a pang of sympathy for the animal. Yet her insides still trembled. “It could have killed me.”
“Doubtful. Not a lone animal. He’d have likely backed down. Well, unless you’d run, in which case the prey drive tends to kick in. If he’d jumped on you, taken you down, we’d have had a problem.”
We. That was generous of him. While the coyote might have been able to bring her down, no way could it have taken on Titus, even if he hadn’t had the bear spray. If it had tried, it might have managed to give him a bite or two, but it would have died. She had no doubt on that score.
Ocean bit her lip. “I’m such a…twit.”
Twit? came Lacey’s voice in her head, clear as anything. Did you really just say twit? Wow, Ocean, way to show him how cool you are!
Oh, God, now was really not the time.
Titus looked at Ocean. “Um, twit?”
Willing Lacey to stay silent, she smiled. “Okay, a big chicken, then. I was going to run.”
“Chicken?” he echoed. “Are you kidding? That’s the dead last adjective that comes to mind when I think of you.”
God, she’d called him a coward last night, and here he was trying to persuade her she wasn’t one? She blinked rapidly. “Well, I…I’m not so brave.”
“You’re joking right?”
Ocean said nothing.
“You were a kid from the country who packed your bags and followed your dreams all the way to New York City. You took a stab at writing for Broadway—”
“I came home! Broke, no job, no prospects, with my tail between my legs. And all I have to show for it is…” She swallowed hard, reluctant to go on.
“What?” he asked. “All you have to show is what?”
Say it, sweetie. Lacey’s voice was quiet. Serious, for once. Be brave, Osch. I dare you.
“All I have to show is a pile of kindling!” She felt her voice hitch.
“But you did it, Ocean. You got out of Harkness. You went to the freakin’ top of the world.”
“No, I didn’t. I tried to.” A single tear trailed its way down her cheek. “But I fell down too.”
She looked up into his face, into those strong brown eyes. She wasn’t talking about her tumble yesterday. She was talking about Lacey Douglas.
“Don’t you see?” Her tone was pleading. She wanted so badly for him to understand. Needed him to understand. “Lacey was going to join me in New York. She was going to go to Italy on an archeological dig for a couple months, then join me in November. She just wanted to get one more dig under her belt before grad school. We
were going to conquer the Big Apple together, live fearlessly. Me as a writer, and Lacey had gotten accepted at NYU. She was going to start grad school in January.”
Titus swallowed. “I hadn’t heard that.”
“That’s because she hadn’t told anyone, not even her parents. She wanted to get the dig in before she dropped that bombshell on them that she was moving so far away rather than go to grad school close to home.”
“But she told you.”
Ocean pressed her glove-covered hand to her nose. She would not sniffle. “Of course she told me. We were best friends. I loved her. And we promised each other we would live large. Fearlessly. We swore it to each other.”
Comprehension flashed in his eyes. “That’s what this is about,” Titus said. “It’s about you both. You think somehow that you’ll redeem Lacey by doing this. By finishing the climb.”
“You don’t get it.”
“I’m trying to.”
His voice was gentle, and at that, the tears came all the harder.
“Titus, I’m trying to redeem myself for failing her!” She slashed at the tears. “Lacey died. It was up to me. I had to live for both of us, and I didn’t.”
There it was. She’d said it: to God and the world. To Lacey and the man before her.
And she’d said it to herself. Finally. Nothing terrified her more than failing her life for her friend. That obligation hadn’t just driven her; it scared the living daylights out of her.
Ocean closed her eyes. The wind swirled around her, drying the tears on her cheeks until her skin felt strangely tight.
She was aware of Titus watching her. And when she opened her own eyes, she met his steady stare. She was ready to go to battle again.
After the coyote incident, Titus was no doubt more determined than ever to drag her back down the mountain. How could she dissuade him?
“I’m sorry,” he said gruffly. “I’m sorry I tried to force you to go back. I don’t blame you for charging out of the cabin. It’s my fault. All my fault.”
Her chest constricted with emotion at his admission, but she managed to respond. She grinned at him. “What? Are you expecting me to argue or something?”
