Jana didn’t get an answer to her second or third knock so she went in, calling out to Teddy’s mom. Blake waited with Teddy and a worried Lindsey. After a few minutes Jana returned. She shook her head.
“No luck?”
“I offered to take her to the doctor,” Jana shared and then she quickly glanced at the little boy climbing in the truck with Lindsey.
Blake shut the door behind them. “What do you think we should do?”
“I’m not sure if we can do anything, Blake. She refuses to get help.”
“I’ll see if Wyatt and Rachel Johnson can talk to her. They might have better luck.” The pastor and his wife knew how to reach people.
“She’s worried about her kids.” Jana’s blue eyes were bright, and he could only think about hugging her, telling her he was sorry he hadn’t noticed when she needed him.
He cleared his throat. “We’ll make sure the kids are taken care of.”
“I told her that.” She smiled a little. He couldn’t help himself. He leaned to kiss her. It was the briefest of gestures, but he could tell it took her by surprise.
It took him by surprise.
“We should go.”
An hour later, they were in a boat on Grand Lake with the water lapping at the shore and water birds swooping overhead. Blake sat at the front, his foot on the trolling motor. Lindsey was baiting a hook for Teddy. He glanced over her head and made eye contact with Jana. She wasn’t fishing. Instead she sat in a seat staring out at the water, a faraway look in her eyes.
She must have felt him watching because she turned to smile at him. The breeze picked up, blowing her hair across her face. Her hand came up to brush it back. If he could have, he would have asked what she was thinking and if she regretted being in Dawson. How did a person go from traveling the world to settling down in a small town in Oklahoma?
At that moment, Lindsey let out a screech and Teddy yelled even louder. His thoughts of Jana, the questions he wanted to ask, were replaced by the excitement unfolding in front of him.
“We’ve got one.” Lindsey smiled big and thumped Teddy on the back. “Or Teddy does.”
“Do you need help reeling it in?” Blake asked, leaning forward to watch.
Teddy shook his head and kept cranking, the pole bending with the weight of the fish. Lindsey stood behind him, helping him hold the grown-up fishing pole they had traded his little one for. It took them both to bring in the bass on the end of Teddy’s line.
“Good job.” Blake helped them unhook the fish.
“Is he a keeper?” Lindsey squatted next to the fish that he’d stretched out to measure.
“Can we have him for dinner?” Teddy leaned in close and was petting the fish. Blake had to wonder if Teddy wanted him for dinner or as a pet.
Blake put the bass on the line and measured. He shook his head. “He’s not quite big enough.”
“Can I toss him back in?” Teddy had hold of the fish with both hands. “And he’ll get bigger and I’ll catch him again someday.”
“I think that’s a great idea.” Blake happened to make eye contact with Jana. “But first you should let Jana pet him. She looks like she might be feeling left out.”
Teddy turned, still holding the fish that was trying to flop its way out of his hands. “You want to pet him before I toss him back?”
Jana shook her head.
Teddy gave her a girls are silly look. “He’s just a little old fish.”
“And he smells like a fish,” Jana informed the boy.
“Because he is one.” Teddy shook his head at the complexities of women and gave her one last look. “You don’t want to pet him?”
“No, but thank you for offering.” Jana smiled like she meant it.
If things had been different, they might have had a son by now. But Blake knew it wouldn’t do any good to think about that. They didn’t have a son. They weren’t married.
He returned to his seat at the front of the boat and guided them away from the bank, back to deeper waters.
He guessed he was in deep enough, though.
* * *
Jana offered to make hamburgers since the fishing didn’t go as well as expected. Teddy took offense at that. He’d done his part, catching a big old bass. But then he’d agreed that burgers would be good.
She had found premade hamburger patties in the freezer. That meant when Blake came in from the barn with the kids, he could put them on the grill. She’d also found frozen fries, and she’d already preheated the oven and put the cookie sheet of fries in to bake.
It all seemed perfect, like a family having dinner together after a long day on the lake. But it wasn’t perfect. And they weren’t a family. The sick feeling in the pit of her stomach was the result of finding the letter Blake had given her days ago. She’d shoved it in her purse, and tonight she would have to read it. She needed to know the details of their divorce.
The back door opened. She listened to Blake telling the kids to wash up in the utility room. Lindsey said something about the pony, and Teddy wanted to know if he could ride it sometime, maybe. Her heart squeezed at the hopeful tone in his voice. She remembered when Lindsey used to beg her to ride horses. Every chance she got, Lindsey wanted riding lessons and she wanted on any horse she could find.
In Africa, in Holland, in Spain, Lindsey had always managed to find horses. She was a Cooper, through and through.
And then the three of them, Blake, Lindsey and Teddy tumbled into the kitchen, all smiles. They looked windblown, a little pink from the sun, but happy. Jana smiled at them, her attention holding on Teddy, because his life was about to be turned upside down. She was sure of it. Blake noticed her look and came up behind her, hugging her quickly and then moving away.
“He’ll be fine.”
“Can you put those on the grill?” She nodded and handed him the cookie sheet that she’d put the burgers on.
“Of course I can.” Blake shot Lindsey a quick look, and she didn’t have to be told.
“Hey, Teddy, let’s go see if the dog will fetch a ball I found in the garage.” Lindsey winked at her dad and then she and Teddy were out the door.
“What’s up?” Blake asked.
“I’ll follow you outside.” She opened the patio door for him, and he walked out ahead of her. “I have the grill preheated.”
“Thanks.” He shot her a quick look. “Everything okay?”
She shook her head, watching as he put the burgers on the grill. “No. Wyatt called the house phone and I answered. They talked Teddy’s mom into going to the hospital. She checked herself in and they’re transferring her to Tulsa. Teddy is going to stay here tonight, but Wyatt is sure that Family Services will be here tomorrow to get him. She has family, but they’re in Florida and she doesn’t want them to have her kids.”
Blake took a seat across from her. “We’ll figure something out.”
“Is it crazy for me to say I don’t want him to go? I mean, I know he doesn’t know us, but he could stay here.”
“It isn’t crazy. I’ll see if I can get him and Sissy placed with Mom for now. We’ll figure something out.”
“If we...” She stopped because she knew she had to tell him.
“What?” And then he grinned. “Don’t worry—the same thought crossed my mind. We could take him. But we can’t. We have enough to get through without adding two more kids to the mix. Remember, he’s part of a set.”
“I know.” She closed her eyes, wishing, no praying that life could be easier.
“We make pretty decent friends, Jana.” He looked as if he was about to say more, but laughter warned that they were about to be invaded by kids.
Sure enough, Lindsey and Teddy came running around the corner of the house, the dog running ahead of them, a stick in his mouth. Teddy fell d
own on the ground, laughing, and Sam, the dog, turned and dropped his stick. The dog licked the little boy’s cheeks and then ran off with his stick again.
They ate a crazy meal with laughter and talking. Jana sipped hot tea, worrying about more than the letter, more than Teddy. She closed her eyes once, swallowing past the tightness in her throat. When she opened her eyes, Blake was watching.
“Teddy, do you want to spend the night here?” Jana smiled big, making it sound like an adventure. She hoped. “You and Lindsey can put blankets in the family room and watch movies?”
“My mom might not like that.”
“She said it will be okay. For tonight. Okay?”
“Is she still sick?” he asked with five-year-old eyes big and worried.
“She isn’t feeling very good. She’s going to a doctor to see if she can get better.”
“For her headache?”
“Yes.” Jana smiled and opened her arms to a little boy who hurried into her embrace. “She’s going to get better and we’re going to help her.”
“Okay, I’ll watch a dinosaur movie.” He hugged her with sweaty, pudgy arms and then he was out of her embrace and heading for the house as if he always spent the night. “Come on, Lindsey.”
Lindsey rolled her eyes, but she got up and went after him. She was twelve. Jana was so glad her daughter got to be twelve. She was glad they were going to have more mother-daughter moments to share. Even if it wouldn’t be easy.
She was glad to be back in Dawson. She would find a way to make this her home. She thought she might always feel like an outsider, but if Blake was right, if they could be friends, things would get easier.
After Blake left she curled up on the sofa in the living room with the dog at her feet. Sam liked being an inside dog. She doubted Blake would be happy about the transition from farm dog to house pet.
Blake. She reached for her purse and pulled out the envelope he’d given her at the Mad Cow.
For several days she’d meant to open it. She’d put it off, needing a few days to accept whatever was inside. Before she made plans to return to Dawson she’d thought about how it would feel to face Blake and find out they were divorced.
She’d thought about knocking on his door and being met by a new wife, a new family. How would they have felt to have Blake’s daughter suddenly in their lives? She’d even let herself consider that maybe he hadn’t divorced her.
There had been a thread of hope that he would be waiting for her, ready to take her back and make them a family again. She had known it was too much to hope for, but she hadn’t stopped herself from dreaming.
The letter was the reality. She sighed as she held it up. From the family room she heard the television playing a dinosaur movie. Teddy laughed.
Her hands shook as she slipped a finger under the seal of the envelope to open it. She was mourning a relationship that had ended years ago. She hadn’t expected it to hurt like this. Deep down hurt.
Their marriage was over. She had done this to them. She needed to look at this document, to finally see it in black and white. She pulled the papers out of the envelope, her vision blurry.
She read the letter once, then twice, unsure of how to deal with what she was reading. She reached for her tea and let her gaze slide over the words again. From the hallway she heard little feet heading her way. She refolded the papers and slipped them back inside the envelope as Teddy ran through the door, a pillow and blanket held close.
He curled up next to her and within minutes he slept. Sleep didn’t come as easily for Jana.
Chapter Nine
Blake showed up at his place early. His place. He stepped out of the truck and looked at the house that he’d lived in alone for close to eleven years. In the short time she’d been back it had already morphed into Jana’s house. When he walked through the front door, it would smell like candles, coffee and her perfume. He knew it. And he knew the strange things that would happen to his stomach when he smelled those things.
She’d called him bright and early and asked him to stop by if he got a chance. He had chores to do before he headed to the office, so stopping by wasn’t a problem.
He found her on the back patio drinking a cup of coffee and watching the sunrise. He sat down next to her and she poured him a cup without asking.
So, did he break the silence or should he give it a few minutes? He didn’t remember her as a morning person so he sipped his coffee and gave it time. The kids were obviously still sleeping.
“Well? Is there something you want to talk about?” he finally asked her as he refilled his cup.
Jana tensed. She nearly spilled her coffee as she grabbed an envelope off the table. He recognized it as the envelope from the lawyer. The envelope with their divorce papers. He wondered what she’d found in the documents that would have her so shaken.
Because of her absence he’d filed for custody of Lindsey. He should have discussed that with Jana before now. “Jana, I’m not taking Lindsey from you. I filed for custody but with things the way they are, there is no way I’d put our daughter through that. I won’t separate the two of you.”
“Blake, that isn’t it.” She swallowed, and he watched as she slid the paper from the envelope, her hands trembling, making the paper shake.
He took it from her, but he wasn’t too eager to read it. He opened the papers and read over the documents. And if an asteroid had crashed into Oklahoma, he wouldn’t have been more shaken than he was as he read through the paperwork.
“I don’t understand, Blake.” Jana leaned a little toward him.
“It’s an affidavit that I should have signed. I’m not sure how I got this again. I thought I signed it so Davis could go to court for me.”
He looked over the papers once more, because they obviously weren’t divorce papers.
“So if he went to court, we are divorced?”
“Of course. I think he probably sent me the wrong papers. He had a stroke around the time we were finishing up.” Blake read through the paper again. “I’ll call his son and have him find the right paperwork and send it to us.”
“So what does this mean?”
“It means nothing. I’m sure things were settled.” He folded the paper and shoved it back in the envelope and then reached for his coffee. Good, strong, black coffee.
“Blake, what did you mean about custody of Lindsey?” Jana’s voice shook.
“We’ve already gone over that. I’m not going to take her from you.”
“Thank you.”
“But we’ll have to get something worked out, maybe joint custody. And I’ll pay you child support, of course.”
She nodded and then shook her head. “You don’t have to do that. I still have money.”
“Enough?”
“I’m going to get a job as soon as Lindsey is ready.”
“I think it might be a while before she’s ready. What happened to your trust fund?”
Jana refilled her coffee and added more to his. He waited. He was good at waiting.
She finally looked up. “Bad investments. My solicitor in London made bad investments. And I had Lindsey’s hospital bills.”
“We’ll make sure the medical expenses are taken care of here in Tulsa. And if you want, I can look at your portfolio and see if we can make better investments.” It made him feel more in control, this conversation. He could handle investments. He could handle finances.
He didn’t know how to handle the reality that he and Jana might not be divorced. Worse, it meant going through it all over again. And this time, with Lindsey there to witness it all. It had been easy to divorce a wife who had left him and taken their daughter.
Now, with that wife sitting next to him, he wasn’t sure how easy it would be.
“I need to make some phone calls now.�
� He finished the lukewarm coffee and stood. “How’s Teddy?”
“He slept on the couch with me. Have you heard anything about his mom?”
“No, but I’ll give Wyatt a call and see if he has any new information. I did talk to my folks, and they’re willing to take Teddy and Sissy.”
“I’m willing, too. I’m just not sure what I need to do.”
“You’ll have to get licensed as a foster parent. And I know they’d be more than willing to have you.”
“I’ll do whatever I have to do.”
He studied her face, wondering how she’d become this woman. She’d taken his daughter away from him. Now she wanted to take in extra children and give them a loving home.
“I’ll call you later, after I talk to the lawyer.”
She nodded, and he almost leaned to kiss her goodbye. But he couldn’t. In his mind they’d been divorced for years. An unsigned piece of paper didn’t undo that fact.
On his way to the barn he made the call to the law firm that had handled the divorce and waited while the secretary found Davis Parks, the lawyer. Eventually the other man came on the phone.
“Blake, what can I do for you?”
“Davis, I think I might have messed up ten years ago.”
There was a slight pause. “How so?”
Blake stood outside the barn. The mare and her foal walked up to the fence, and he reached absently to stroke the horse’s neck.
“I got an affidavit in the mail from your dad, and I never opened it. I guess I was distracted... I don’t know. For some reason I thought I’d signed the affidavit and that the divorce was final. When I got the envelope in the mail I didn’t want to read it. I didn’t want to see that my marriage had ended.”
“So what you have is an unsigned affidavit and not the divorce decree?”
“Exactly. I know I should have opened it. I just...”
“Yeah, I know it can be tough. Blake, I’m going to have to research this. I know your divorce was right around the time my dad had his stroke and we also had a staff change. I’ll look into it for you.”
“I’m sure he went to court.” Blake settled on that thought and the strange reaction in his gut. “I just don’t want to go through this again. Not now. Jana is back in Oklahoma.”
The Cowboy's Reunited Family Page 10
