by Mark Twain
Diligence and attention soon gavehim the knack of it, and he strode down the street with his mouth fullof harmony and his soul full of gratitude. He felt much as anastronomer feels who has discovered a new planet--no doubt, as far asstrong, deep, unalloyed pleasure is concerned, the advantage was withthe boy, not the astronomer.
The summer evenings were long. It was not dark, yet. Presently Tomchecked his whistle. A stranger was before him--a boy a shade largerthan himself. A new-comer of any age or either sex was an impressivecuriosity in the poor little shabby village of St. Petersburg. This boywas well dressed, too--well dressed on a week-day. This was simplyastounding. His cap was a dainty thing, his close-buttoned blue clothroundabout was new and natty, and so were his pantaloons. He had shoeson--and it was only Friday. He even wore a necktie, a bright bit ofribbon. He had a citified air about him that ate into Tom's vitals. Themore Tom stared at the splendid marvel, the higher he turned up hisnose at his finery and the shabbier and shabbier his own outfit seemedto him to grow. Neither boy spoke. If one moved, the other moved--butonly sidewise, in a circle; they kept face to face and eye to eye allthe time. Finally Tom said:
"I can lick you!"
"I'd like to see you try it."
"Well, I can do it."
"No you can't, either."
"Yes I can."
"No you can't."
"I can."
"You can't."
"Can!"
"Can't!"
An uncomfortable pause. Then Tom said:
"What's your name?"
"'Tisn't any of your business, maybe."
"Well I 'low I'll MAKE it my business."
"Well why don't you?"
"If you say much, I will."
"Much--much--MUCH. There now."
"Oh, you think you're mighty smart, DON'T you? I could lick you withone hand tied behind me, if I wanted to."
"Well why don't you DO it? You SAY you can do it."
"Well I WILL, if you fool with me."
"Oh yes--I've seen whole families in the same fix."
"Smarty! You think you're SOME, now, DON'T you? Oh, what a hat!"
"You can lump that hat if you don't like it. I dare you to knock itoff--and anybody that'll take a dare will suck eggs."
"You're a liar!"
"You're another."
"You're a fighting liar and dasn't take it up."
"Aw--take a walk!"
"Say--if you give me much more of your sass I'll take and bounce arock off'n your head."
"Oh, of COURSE you will."
"Well I WILL."
"Well why don't you DO it then? What do you keep SAYING you will for?Why don't you DO it? It's because you're afraid."
"I AIN'T afraid."
"You are."
"I ain't."
"You are."
Another pause, and more eying and sidling around each other. Presentlythey were shoulder to shoulder. Tom said:
"Get away from here!"
"Go away yourself!"
"I won't."
"I won't either."
So they stood, each with a foot placed at an angle as a brace, andboth shoving with might and main, and glowering at each other withhate. But neither could get an advantage. After struggling till bothwere hot and flushed, each relaxed his strain with watchful caution,and Tom said:
"You're a coward and a pup. I'll tell my big brother on you, and hecan thrash you with his little finger, and I'll make him do it, too."
"What do I care for your big brother? I've got a brother that's biggerthan he is--and what's more, he can throw him over that fence, too."[Both brothers were imaginary.]
"That's a lie."
"YOUR saying so don't make it so."
Tom drew a line in the dust with his big toe, and said:
"I dare you to step over that, and I'll lick you till you can't standup. Anybody that'll take a dare will steal sheep."
The new boy stepped over promptly, and said:
"Now you said you'd do it, now let's see you do it."
"Don't you crowd me now; you better look out."
"Well, you SAID you'd do it--why don't you do it?"
"By jingo! for two cents I WILL do it."
The new boy took two broad coppers out of his pocket and held them outwith derision. Tom struck them to the ground. In an instant both boyswere rolling and tumbling in the dirt, gripped together like cats; andfor the space of a minute they tugged and tore at each other's hair andclothes, punched and scratched each other's nose, and coveredthemselves with dust and glory. Presently the confusion took form, andthrough the fog of battle Tom appeared, seated astride the new boy, andpounding him with his fists. "Holler 'nuff!" said he.
The boy only struggled to free himself. He was crying--mainly from rage.
"Holler 'nuff!"--and the pounding went on.
At last the stranger got out a smothered "'Nuff!" and Tom let him upand said:
"Now that'll learn you. Better look out who you're fooling with nexttime."
The new boy went off brushing the dust from his clothes, sobbing,snuffling, and occasionally looking back and shaking his head andthreatening what he would do to Tom the "next time he caught him out."To which Tom responded with jeers, and started off in high feather, andas soon as his back was turned the new boy snatched up a stone, threwit and hit him between the shoulders and then turned tail and ran likean antelope. Tom chased the traitor home, and thus found out where helived. He then held a position at the gate for some time, daring theenemy to come outside, but the enemy only made faces at him through thewindow and declined. At last the enemy's mother appeared, and calledTom a bad, vicious, vulgar child, and ordered him away. So he wentaway; but he said he "'lowed" to "lay" for that boy.
He got home pretty late that night, and when he climbed cautiously inat the window, he uncovered an ambuscade, in the person of his aunt;and when she saw the state his clothes were in her resolution to turnhis Saturday holiday into captivity at hard labor became adamantine inits firmness.
