the Dance

by Alison G. Bailey

  Sliding off the bed, I snatched up my clothes and darted into the bathroom. Since I wasn’t exactly schooled in the art of the morning after, I figured a quick and clean getaway was best. I set about to multi-task. As I took my morning pee, I slipped into my underwear and clothes. Then I headed toward the sink to splash cool water on my face. I sucked up enough courage to take a quick glance in the mirror.

  Oh, not a good look.

  My makeup was completely gone and my hair looked as if I’d stuck my finger in a light socket. I combed my fingers through the mess of twisted strands a few times, making it somewhat presentable. I grabbed one of the small disposable plastic cups that sat on the side of the sink and drank twenty of them, one right after the other. My gaze darted around looking for mouthwash or toothpaste but there wasn’t either beside the sink. I had to do something. My mouth tasted like a cat had curled up and died in it overnight.

  I hated to rummage through any of Hart’s personal items but I had no choice. The second I opened the medicine cabinet I saw everything I needed for oral hygiene. Raising my hand to the toothpaste, my gaze inadvertently shifted to the right. I quickly shut my eyes and closed the cabinet but it was too late. I’d already seen the prescription bottle of Viagra.

  After Hart told me the level of his injury, I did some research on spinal cord injuries. I wanted to know what he’d gone through and would have to deal with for the rest of his life. When the topic of sex scrolled across the screen, I couldn’t help but skim over the information. Depending on the level and whether it’s complete or incomplete, people with spinal cord injuries can lead healthy and satisfying sex lives. They just need a little help. If I didn’t believe it when I read it, I sure as hell believed it now after last night.

  I squeezed a little of Hart’s toothpaste on my finger and sucked on it. I placed it back where I’d found it, eyes focused straight ahead.

  Now for the hard part.

  Cracking open the door slightly, I listened for any noise indicating Hart was near.

  Silence.

  My shoes and purse were the only other items I needed and they were still in the living room. A sense of deja vu hit me.

  Note to self: Next time I get drunk and naked at Hart’s, deposit all personal items in one spot.

  I headed for the bedroom door, placed my hand on the knob, and inhaled a deep breath. Easing the door open, the delicious aroma of spaghetti sauce coming from the kitchen slapped me in the face as I heard the rumble of low voices coming from down the hall.

  Voicessss . . . with an s! My first sexual experience as a single woman was really going well. Top notch.

  Nudging my ear in the small crack between the bedroom door and the doorframe, I hoped to make out who the voices belonged to.

  “It’s nice to know you didn’t drop off the planet.”

  I was almost positive that was Colin talking. Out of all the guys, I’d had the most interaction with him. There was no response to his comment followed by nondescript rustling noises.

  “You want some coffee?” My body tingled to the deep rasp of Hart’s voice.

  “Nah, I’m good.”

  “What did I do to deserve this early morning unannounced pleasure?” Hart sounded half joking and half annoyed.

  “After you cut our tennis match short yesterday without explanation and never answered any of my texts or calls last night, I got worried,” Colin said.

  “If you were that worried why’d you wait until this morning to check in?”

  “Well, asshole, I drove by last night and saw you had company.”

  No response.

  The faint sound and smell of coffee brewing wafted down the hallway.

  “And since there’s an extra car parked in your driveway, I’m guessing you still have company.”

  Still no response.

  “Isn’t that Bryson’s little red car?”

  “Yep.”

  “What are you doing, dude?” Colin’s tone was serious.

  “I’m trying to have coffee and a piece of cake.”

  I smiled hearing that Hart was eating the cake I brought him.

  “You know what I’m talking about.”

  “No I don’t.” Hart snapped.

  “She’s married.”

  “They’ve been separated for almost a year and are getting a divorce.”

  “Okay, let me put it this way.” Colin paused. “Bryson’s not like the whores you pay to suck your dick.”

  That was harsh.

  I could feel the tension between the two friends and I wasn’t even in the room.

  After several seconds, Hart said, “Colin, you’re my best friend. More like a brother, really. But if you ever use those words in the same sentence as her name again, I will fucking punch you in the nuts and roll over your dick.”

  “Does she know?”

  Do I know what?

  “There’s nothing for her to know.”

  Colin chuckled sarcastically. “Really?”

  “We’re just two friends helping each other out for a little while.”

  Even though that was the deal Hart and I agreed to last night, his words still punched me in the stomach.

  “I’m concerned you’re going to get in over your head and one or both of you will get hurt.”

  “I got it under control.”

  “I hope so. But when the girl of your dreams comes back into your life, control is the last thing you’ve got.”

  What the what?

  “You don’t have to worry about me, Colin. This thing with Bryson is temporary.”

  My throat and chest tightened.

  “Okay. I need to get going.”

  The sound of heavy footsteps moved across the hardwood floor and stopped.

  “By the way, when did you become Betty Fucking Crocker?” Colin said.

  “You should realize by now I’m a man of many talents.”

  “I know you are. I’ll let you get back to one of them now.”

  The next sound was the front door closing.

  My head was still spinning like a whirly bird in fog from the events of last night. Add to it the conversation I just eavesdropped on and I was on course for a crash landing. I pushed my analytics aside for the time being. I needed to get out of there, clear my head, and think about what Colin said.

  As a warning to Hart of my impending approach, I jiggled the doorknob loudly. Then for extra security, I cleared my throat the entire way down the hallway.

  I found Hart in the kitchen finishing off his piece of cake. He had on the same jeans from last night but the long-sleeve T-shirt was black. As I entered, his gaze immediately shot to mine.

  “Did you enjoy it?” I asked.

  His eyebrows spiked into his forehead as his jaw went slack. “I . . . uh . . . I thought you were able to tell when I . . .”

  “The cake. I was talking about the cake.”

  “Oh. Yeah. The cake is awesome. And good morning.”

  For some reason my cheeks flushed with warmth. “Good morning.”

  Maybe it was because I’d just overheard things I wasn’t supposed to but there was a weird vibe between us. As I slipped into my shoes, the clank of a dish being placed in the farmhouse sink startled me. I turned toward the noise.

  “Listen, I’ve got some errands to run and then I usually take Butter to the dog park. You’re more than welcome to stay and have coffee . . . cake. Whatever.”

  “No, that’s okay. I need to get home anyway.” Glancing down, I fidgeted with the strap on my purse. “Take a shower. Get redressed. Maybe grab some toast or something. Pay a few bills. Take some time to get good and nervous for my first day of work tomorrow. I should probably stop by and see Will too. I mean . . .”

  “Bryson, are you okay?”

  My head popped up at the sweet tone of his voice. “Yeah . . . I’m . . . uh . . . I’m goood.”

  I’m so not good at this.

  With knitted brows, I said, “I’m not sure what the proper protocol is after
what we did last night. Which was anything but proper, if you know what I mean.”

  God, why do I even bother opening my mouth?

  The right corner of Hart’s mouth twitched as he worked to suppress a smile.

  “Well, you go about tackling that long laundry list you just recited and I’m going to run my errands.”

  “Okay . . . okay . . . sounds like a plan. I guess I’ll see ya when I see ya.” The decibels of my voice increased with each word.

  “I’ll see you out,” Hart said as he moved toward the front door.

  The words didn’t come out as dismissive but my ears heard them that way. I didn’t know what I was expecting. Last night we were so connected and in tune with each other. I had to keep hammering it in my head that we were both adults who had agreed, in a slightly buzzed state, to help each other out. I wanted a safe person who I trusted to introduce me to new experiences and Hart wanted to save a few bucks by having a free fuck buddy.

  He opened the front door, leaving enough room for me to step out onto the porch. As I got to the first step, Hart’s words stopped me.

  “Hey, Bryson . . .”

  “Yes?”

  “What time are you coming over tonight for spaghetti?”

  I whipped around with a toothy smile on my face. “Whatever time is good for you?”

  Deep dimples popped on either side of his sexy grin. “How about five? I don’t want to keep you out too late the night before your new job.”

  My insides lit up with excitement as I stood at the top of the steps beaming. Hart’s chest trembled with a chuckle when I remained glued to the spot staring, smiling, and shining.

  “I guess I better run and get my stuff all done before our dinner . . . at five o’clock.”

  “I’ll see you then.” He winked.

  My gaze lowered and I took one step down. “Five o’clock.”

  “Five o’clock.”

  His cheeks reddened the longer he held his grin.

  “Okay, I’ll see you then.” I forced myself not to look back at him until I made it to my car.

  Standing between the car and the open door, I glanced at Hart, who was still watching me, and gave a slight wave. He stayed in the doorway until I pulled out of his driveway and headed down the street. Once I was safely out of earshot, I screamed with delight. It was like being a teenager again who’d just been asked to the prom by the hottest boy in school. Except that we had already kissed and had mind-blowing sex.

  Fifteen minutes later I was pulling into my driveway. I bounced my way into the house and up the stairs to my room. I couldn’t believe how light and fluffy I felt. I headed into the bathroom and turned on the shower. As I waited for the water to heat up, I stripped down to my bra and panties. Realizing I’d not checked my cellphone since last night before going over to Hart’s, I went into the bedroom and fished out my phone from my purse.

  I hesitated before swiping to unlock the screen. It was a silly reaction but once I swiped the screen, I’d be letting the real world in. I’d already had a little taste of it this morning with Colin’s reaction to me being at Hart’s. Filling my lungs with an impressive amount of oxygen, I swiped my finger across the screen.

  There were several missed calls and voicemails from Sophie, one from my mom, and a string of texts from Will that I didn’t even bother to read. I typed a quick reply to Sophie.

  Me: When are you going out of town?

  Sophie: Hello stranger. I leave for Portland on Wednesday.

  Other than making an appearance at the rehab and dinner with Hart later, I had the rest of the day free. I wanted and needed some time with my best friend to play catch up.

  Me: How about lunch?

  Sophie: Sounds good. Where were you last night?

  Me: How’s 12:30ish? I’m going to check on Will first.

  Sophie: Yeah 12:30ish. What were you doing last night?

  A chill ran through my body thinking about what I’d done last night. I shook my head free of the thoughts. If I didn’t, I’d get nothing done today.

  Me: All will be revealed soon enough. See you at Tommy Condon’s.

  Sophie: Closed lip biotch. ☺

  I was definitely sharing my new job news with Sophie today. I was still on the fence on whether or not I was ready to tell her about me and Hart. I’d have to play that by ear. My hope was that when she heard about mine and Hart’s arrangement she’d be happy for me. I just had to convince her that I had my emotions in check even though I wasn’t exactly positive I did.

  Before jumping in the shower I typed a quick text to Will.

  Me: Be there in a little while.

  Without waiting for a response, I plugged the cellphone into the charger and went to take my shower.

  An hour and a half later I was walking into the rehab center smiling, feeling sexy and confident. At first it shocked me thinking that one night could change the way I felt about myself so drastically. But I knew it wasn’t just one night of sex. Each moment I spent with Hart moved me closer toward the person I wanted to become. The way he looked at me, touched me, spoke to me, listened to me, treated me, and believed in me was what caused the change in me.

  Will couldn’t see an inkling of my newfound happiness. I needed to keep that under wraps for now and remain the same old Bryson. Attempting to tone down the sexy, I kept it casual, with my black leggings, sage green and cream floral print long shirt paired with my sage green long cardigan, a knit cream scarf, and black pseud short boots. The outfit said inconspicuous but cute.

  The closer I got to Will’s room my pace slowed and dread replaced all the good feelings. I hovered outside of his door for a few minutes, holding on to the new me a little longer. I was so lost in the Hart effect that I jumped out of my skin when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

  “Whoa! I didn’t mean to scare you.” Andrea, one of the weekend nurses, chuckled.

  “I’m so sorry. My head was in the clouds.”

  “I can imagine it probably is.”

  My eyebrows knitted together slightly thinking that was an odd response.

  She gave me a knowing look. “You’re a lucky girl.”

  I got a tickle in my stomach and throat. “Really?”

  I’d heard office gossip spreads like wildfire but how on earth would anyone here find out about last night. The only people who knew were me, Hart, and Colin. Colin didn’t work here. And Hart would never let it slip. Could this woman see the sex on me?

  “And even if I hadn’t heard it through the grapevine, I could tell something was up just by looking at you.”

  “Really?” My voice cracked.

  “You look gorgeous as usual but there is an extra glow radiating off of you today. Must be happiness.”

  Suddenly my cute infinity scarf was choking the breath right out of me. “This sweater and scarf combo is pretty hot. I don’t know what I was thinking wearing it. It’s not that cold outside. You’re probably just seeing the sweat popping up on my skin.”

  Andrea’s face squished together in disgust.

  “Yes . . . Well, I’ll let you get to your fella.”

  She gave me a knowing look before walking away. I shook off the weird exchange and headed into Will’s room.

  He was sitting on the side of his bed, his back to me, dressed, with a pair of crutches leaning beside him. I stood in the doorway for a second staring at him. Our years together flashed across my mind. I remembered sitting behind him in tenth grade algebra daydreaming what it would be like to date The Will Forsyth. Back then there was a sweet innocence about him. I wondered when the change occurred. Maybe that Will never existed and it was the eyes I looked through that made him into something he never was.

  He must have sensed my presence because without looking around, he said, “Did you hear the good news?”

  I walked farther into the room, placing the bag of Chinese take-out from Red Orchid on the hospital table at the foot of the bed. “No. What good news?”

  Will looked at me, his eyes
crinkled with a smile. “I’m getting sprung.”

  “When?”

  “Today.”

  My stomach plummeted as my thoughts spun out of control. For all intents and purposes, Will and I were still legally married. His doctors and all the rehab staff, except Hart, saw us as a happily married couple. They’d release Will, assuming he’d be going home to the house we once shared.

  His gaze followed me as I walked to the chair across from him and sat. “We need to talk.”

  “What’s there to talk about?”

  “I think it’s time to tell everyone the news.”

  “I just got off the phone with my mom right before you came in.”

  Finally.

  He turned toward the take-out bag. “I’ll eat once we get home.”

  “What?”

  “The discharge papers should be here in about a half hour. You need to go ahead and pack up all my things.”

  I jumped from the chair and quickly walked to the door and closed it. With one hand on my hip, I ran the fingers of my other hand through my hair while taking in several deep breaths. Once I felt centered and composed, I went back to face Will.

  “We need to tell both sets of parents we’re getting a divorce.”

  He blew out a frustrated breath. “Bryson, you promised to stay with me until I fully recovered. I’m doing well enough to leave this fucking place but still need you with me. I’m nowhere near ready to be by myself.”

  “I got a job and start tomorrow. I won’t even be home,” I blurted out.

  His dark eyes zeroed in on me. I couldn’t tell if he was shocked or pissed.

  “A job? Why?”

  “Because I’m trying to move on with my life, Will. Please don’t make this harder than it already is.”

  “You have little to no skill set and you’ve never made an important decision in your life. You’ve always had a safety net, first your daddy and then me. We both know you’ll never make it on your own, Bryson.”

  I stared over his shoulder as I tamped down my anger.

  Keeping my voice strong and steady, I said, “When I heard you’d been in an accident my first thought was, please god let him be okay. It would be so easy to hate you, Will. But I don’t. I don’t hate you. We’ve both wasted ten years living a lie. You can have the house, the cars, and the money. I don’t care if I walk away from this marriage with nothing more than my dignity but I am walking away.”