by Meg Allison
“I’ll be damned,” the man murmured. “You really didn’t know. She fooled you both. The little bitch had more of her father in her than I realized.”
Torin shook his head, his mind reeled beneath the betrayal he felt anew. She had been with another man. She had known the babe wasn’t his. “Who was the father?”
“That I haven’t a clue.”
“And how can I believe a bloody word you say?”
“If I did know, I’d tell you to be sure. Or I’d kill the bastard meself, wouldn’t I? ’Cause if you didn’t throw her off that cliff, someone else did. I’m thinking it had to be whoever sired her child.”
“Your da—?” Torin began.
“Nay! He was a worthless soul to be sure, but he’d never rape his own daughter. Nay, ’twas a young buck—that I do know. She bragged on how much he loved her and how he was going to sail her away. Swore she’d never set foot on this godforsaken rock again.”
Torin snapped to attention. “Sail away?”
“Aye.” Doogan’s brow furrowed. “Why? Does it mean something then?”
Torin frowned as the truth settled over him like ice. “God in Heaven. Sean.”
“Sean? Sean Riordan?”
Torin raced down the pier as Doogan called after him, but he paid no heed. He hadn’t believed Alaina, had turned away from her and pushed her out of reach because he hadn’t wanted to hear it, hadn’t wanted to believe. But she was right and now he feared she stood in danger of suffering Brigit’s fate.
Poor, stupid Brigit. Nay, she hadn’t Alaina’s courage but Torin had forgotten the lass’s other side—her sly cunning, her mean streak. Had she been a virgin when they first made love together? Nay, he had never let himself think on it much, but now he was almost sure she hadn’t. Despite her declaration of love, she had been sleeping with another man all the time. His best friend.
Strange how death often made saints of the worst sinners.
He ran to Declan, mounted and spurred the animal on to his cottage. As he passed through the village, he almost ran over Shannon outside his pub.
“Lad, where’s the devil chasing you?”
“I’ve got to get home to my bride, if she’ll still have me. I’ve been a fool!”
“Ah, but I just saw her,” Shannon said. “Went walking down the path with Sean not an hour ago.”
Torin’s blood turned to ice. “Sean Riordan?”
“Aye.” Shannon frowned. “Is there something wrong? Did the lads lose Doogan?”
“Nay, he’s still bound up tight. Liam, where did they go—Sean and Alaina?”
“Not sure.” The older man hesitated as he scratched his head. “But I’m thinking up the path toward Doonagore.”
Chapter Fifteen
It had been an easy thing to tempt Sean Riordan to take a walk with her. Doubt made her feel somewhat like a thief when she had knocked on his cottage door and asked if he would mind accompanying her. Yes, she made it sound as if she was troubled—that her relationship with Torin was in jeopardy somehow.
Indeed, it might be if her hunch proved wrong and she couldn’t uncover the truth about Brigit Doogan.
“’Tis a find morning, aye?” Sean ventured.
She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye and found him watching with keen interest. “Yes, it is. Or it might be if everything weren’t such a mess.”
They continued up the path toward Doonagore, a soft breeze carried the scent of fresh rain and sea salt. Alaina tried to keep from clutching her hands together, but her old fears pricked at her nerves like violin strings.
“Torin and I quarreled.”
“Ah.” He glanced away. “I thought as much.”
A few more steps and she forced a shrug. “Perhaps we married in too much haste. But I cannot live with the specter of Brigit Doogan hovering over our lives.”
She heard Sean take a deep breath and wondered at the cause. Could it be their exercise or the mention of the other woman?
“You fought about her?”
“Yes.” She let the word hang between them, baiting the man into a response.
“And why would that be?” he asked. “Seems on your wedding night, both you and Torin would have better things to…discuss.”
Her cheeks warmed at his intimation, but she paid no heed. He would not derail her train of thought. “He worries about me. He thinks the past will always haunt us and that Brigit will never be put to rest. He thinks our marriage may have been a mistake.” She let the tears fill her eyes then—real tears she had held back since making up her mind to search out the truth. The thought of losing her husband now seemed too much to bear.
“Ah, come now, lass,” Sean said as they stopped at the base of Doonagore tower. “He’ll come around once the shock has worn off. Doogan will be taken care of and you won’t have any more worries.”
She turned to him then and let him see the sorrow in her eyes. “I’m not sure it’s that simple. I’ll never be able to live up to her image in his eyes. To him, I’ll always be found wanting. She must have been so beautiful…so perfect.”
With a derisive snort of laughter, Sean turned from her and paced the tower. He reached out one hand to trace the smoothed surface of the stone. “If he’s remembering her as perfect, O’Brien has a large hole in his skull.”
“Why?” She took a small step toward him. “Wasn’t she? From all I’ve heard, it’s a wonder no one has offered her name up for sainthood.”
Another bark of angry laughter and he turned his head. Alaina balked a bit at the anger blazing in his blue eyes. “Brigit Doogan was a bonnie little whore, but nothing close to being a saint. The only miracles surrounding her life were how many men she managed to fool—and make fools of!”
“You hated her.”
“Aye, that I did.” He fisted his hand against the stone and stared at it a moment. “Hated and loved her, all at once. They say there’s but a fine line, don’t they?”
“Did Torin know?”
“Ah, there’s the rub. He knew nothing of her and me. But I stepped aside anyway, thinking she’d come back. She always had before. But this time…this time she’d found her a prize. Torin had just come home from university and an educated man could take her places a plain fisherman could never go.”
At last she had part of the puzzle—Sean and Brigit had been lovers, that much was evident. But how could she make him admit to the rest? She turned and stepped softly around to the side of the tower until his face was in clear view. Anger often made one admit things otherwise held close to the vest. Perhaps, if she made him angry enough, she might trip him up. But what danger would that put her in? Alaina knew it didn’t matter. She had to try.
“That was very short-sighted of her, and cruel,” Alaina said, playing on his ego. “But then again, if he had fathered her child—”
“Him?” he shouted, his face suddenly dark with anger. “That babe was mine—it had to be! And there he was, not a care in the world but to lay his da’s plans to waste.” He chucked bitterly. “My heart was near shattered and all bloody Torin cared for was not to be trapped into marrying you. Any lass would have done as well.” His gaze softened a bit, but still held a strange light that made Alaina uneasy.
“And here you are, then,” he murmured. “So lovely…so real and alive…and he still has no care for what’s been laid at his feet.” Sean moved closer to reach out one hand and caress her cheek. Alaina fought not to flinch from his touch. “How can the man still grieve a ghost when he has this beautiful flesh in his own arms?”
“I’m sorry you were hurt,” she said and swallowed hard. “But maybe she really loved Torin. Maybe he was the better man.”
Sean’s gaze narrowed and he grasped her about the neck so fast she didn’t have a chance to evade his grip. “The only thing better about O’Brien is that he’s good at wearing blinders where other are concerned,” he said through clenched teeth. “If he’d had a bit of sense in that thick skull he would have tossed the tramp off th
e cliffs himself! Just like her father, was she—cared for none but herself.”
“Is that why you killed her?”
“Aye, and Torin should thank me,” he raged. “I saved him from a fate worse than death—saved the babe too, from having a worthless whore for a mum.”
Alaina stared at him for a moment as realization dawned in his blue eyes. “Tricky little colleen, aren’t you now?” he said. “Why did you have to go and do a thing like that? Now I have to be rid of you, too. ’Tis a shame…” He gazed at her with a mixture of desire and pity. “I really liked you, Alaina. You’re a bonnie lass, indeed.”
Her heart pounded against her ribs and she fought to keep panic from overtaking her. “You don’t mean that, Sean. I don’t believe you meant to kill Brigit and you aren’t going to hurt me.”
He scowled at her and tightened his grip for a moment before releasing her. A look of desolation softened his features, tears swam in his eyes. He took a step back and focused his gaze on the base of the tower.
“Do you see it?” he asked.
Alaina shook her head in confusion and followed his gaze. The weathered stone looked cold and gray, but there weren’t any other marks—at the least, none she could see.
“No, I don’t,” she admitted.
His gaze jerked up to hers and he looked at her as if she was slow or stupid. “The stain—the blood, Brigit’s blood! ’Tis plain as day—there!” He pointed to a spot a bit darker than the rest, but it did not look like blood. Alaina had enough experience to tell the difference.
“Sean, there’s nothing there.”
He frowned and shook his head. “There!” He dropped to his knees and pounded the darker spot with his fist. “Right there! Don’t tell me you can’t see! ’Tis her blood, I tell you. I washed and washed my shirt, but it never came clean. I had to burn it. But the stone, it carries the mark to this day.” Sean looked up at her, a bit of madness lit his eyes.
“It’s gone,” she told him gently. “The rain must have washed it away years ago.”
He slowly shook his head but she laid a hand on his shoulder and smiled softly. “It’s gone. I think the guilt has been heavy, hasn’t it? Perhaps the time has come to lay all the ghosts to rest.”
Sean stared at the tower, his gaze seeming to look right through it. “I-I met her here. I knew they were running off but I had to change her mind. Torin…he was my best friend in all the world, but I hated him. Hated him for taking her from me and not even knowing!
“She was here, waiting. I told her she had to marry me—that it wasn’t right what she was doing. She laughed. Right in my face as if I were the world’s biggest joke. Then I got angry, I said I’d tell Torin about us. Tell him the babe was mine. She laughed at first, then I think she figured out I was done playing the game her way. She came at me with a rock…we struggled and she…she fell. She didn’t move again.”
He gazed down at the dark spot on the stone. Then Alaina heard the sound of thunder rumbling across the ground. No, the sound of hoof beats. She looked up to see Torin and Declan approach, a look of pure fury on her husband’s face.
“Torin.”
At the sound of her voice, Sean blinked and slowly rose to his feet. Torin leapt from the horse, took two long strides and slugged his friend in the jaw.
Alaina gasped as Sean slid down the face of the tower, his lip split and bleeding, his expression dazed.
“Torin, no!” she pleaded and went to help the injured man, but her husband grabbed her arm and pulled her close.
“You murdered Brigit!” he cried.
“Nay,” Sean muttered, then spat out a bit of blood. “It was an accident. I never meant—”
“How can I believe you now?” Torin demanded. “After all these years? All the lies? You let them think I murdered her!”
He lunged forward as if to do more damage, but Alaina held him back. “Torin, please!” she begged. “Just listen. Let him tell his side of things.”
He looked at her then with a mixture of anger and confusion. “How can you defend the man?”
“I think we need to know what happened. Everyone has been so busy casting blame that no one knows the whole truth.” When he seemed inclined to argue further, Alaina framed his face with both hands. “You have to find the truth if it is to set you free. Please…for us?”
He stared at her and sighed. “Very well, let him speak it then.” He looked at Sean. “Tell us the truth.”
“I didn’t mean to kill her. When I threatened to tell you about us, Brigit tried to kill me. We fought…she fell and hit her head on the tower.”
“You threw her off the cliff then? Why?”
“Aye, so they wouldn’t blame you for her death,” Sean said with a bark of ironic laughter. “I didn’t realize the sea would give her up again.”
“They could have put me in prison for killing her or had me hung,” Torin growled through gritted teeth. He clenched his hands at his sides.
“I would have stepped forward then,” Sean insisted. “I never would have let you take my punishment.”
“But you did,” Torin said. “I’ve lived as an outcast for over ten years—everyone thinking me to be the worst kind of man.”
Sean looked away, his expression pained.
“Why didn’t you say anything, Sean? Why did you let them…let me go on believing ’twas my fault?”
“And if you were so in love with Brigit, how is it you believed she could jump from the cliffs?” Sean asked, his temper rising. “How is it you never saw what she meant to me, your best friend? You’ve gone through life blind, boy-o. Open your eyes in full for once before you lose the best thing to ever happen in your miserable life.”
Sean pushed himself up from the earth and stumbled away toward the village. When Torin moved as if to stop him, Alaina grasped his arm.
“Don’t. Let him go. There’s nothing to be done by punishing him now. He’s suffered too much as it is—both of you have.”
They stood in silence for a long time until Sean’s figure disappeared from view down the slope toward Doolin. “What do you think he’ll do now?” Alaina asked softly.
Torin shook his head. “I don’t know.” He took a deep breath and sighed. “I still can’t believe…” He looked at her, his mouth lifted in a lop-sided smile. “Will you ever forgive me?”
“For what?”
“For being the worst kind of fool? For not believing you when I should have?”
She returned his smile, her heart lighter with the knowledge that all was well between them. Now, with the truth at last in their grasp, they could forge a life together.
“You’ve been friends with Sean forever, but we’ve known each other such a short time.” Alaina shrugged. “I can understand your desire to believe in him—your reluctance to see the alternatives. It cannot be an easy thing to accept.”
“Nay, ’tis harder still.” He glanced one last time at the path to Doolin. “But losing you, my darlin’ wife—that would be the cruelest cut of all. Do you forgive me then?”
“Yes, I forgive you,” she whispered as she slid her arms about his waist. “On one condition.”
“Name it, my love.”
“That you take me home this instant…” She looked up into his eyes and smiled. “And make love to me for the rest of the day and into the night.”
His eyebrows shot to his hairline and he chuckled deep in his chest. “Now I am the most blessed of men,” he said. “I’ve the most intelligent, beautiful and lustful bride in all of Ireland.”
Alaina felt her cheeks burn but could not deny his statement. Intimacy with her husband had proved the most wondrous experience of her life. She hoped to enjoy repeating it again and again, for many years to come.
“Promise me, my love,” he whispered as he drew her close for a kiss. “Promise we’ll have a long and happy life together—that nothing will ever tear us apart.”
“Is that all you’re wanting?” she asked playfully, though tears stung behind her
eyes. “You’ve engaged me completely both body and soul, Torin Patrick O’Brien. How could I settle for less than forever in your arms?”
About the Author
As an only child, Meg Allison spent her childhood creating worlds and characters to populate them. It’s amazing how sheer boredom can spark the imagination. Writing those stories down became a necessity when her own identity began to vanish in the daily shuffle of life with five children, a husband, and several assorted pets all clamoring for attention.
An avid reader of romantic fiction, Meg spends her time writing contemporary, historical and paranormal romances. That’s when she’s not home schooling, driving the children to various events or throwing some attention at her husband now and then. Writing is the best therapy for stress…except when there’s a deadline.
Also published in contemporary romantic comedy at Moonlit Romance and By Grace Publishing, Meg’s first published novella, Romancing Jenny, was nominated for the 2005 Golden Rose.
To learn more about Meg, please visit http://megallison.bravehost.com/. Send an email to Meg at [email protected] or read her online journals at http://meg2006.bravejournal.com/ and http://megallisonromance.blogspot.com/
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Secrets and Shadows
by Meg Allison
Secrets and Shadows
© 2006 Meg Allison
Available now in digital and paperback from Samhain Publishing
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