Lanni suddenly looked uncomfortable.
“What did you do?” Matt demanded.
“I…I wrote and told her you were going to be in Oakland.”
That wouldn’t make any difference, Matt figured. “She won’t look me up, and I’m certainly not going out of my way to see her, if that’s what you’re thinking.” And he wouldn’t. Karen wanted nothing more to do with him.
Too bad, but he’d adjust. It wasn’t like this was earth-shattering news. He’d been a little slow to get the message; he should have taken the hint when she filed for divorce.
“Whether or not you see her is up to you,” Lanni told him softly, almost as if she was aware that she’d risked offending him, “but I gave Karen the name of your hotel.”
Anger caused him to clench his fists. He didn’t want anyone interfering in his life, least of all his kid sister. Irritated though he was, he understood that her intentions were good. Lanni and Charles were so much in love themselves, it influenced the way they looked at everyone else’s life.
“Don’t be angry with me,” she pleaded.
Matt said nothing.
“Remember, I’m the one who volunteered to take reservations when you’re down in the lower forty-eight rounding up business.”
It could be wishful thinking on his part, but Matt hoped his tour would generate enough interest in Hard Luck Lodge that bookings would immediately start pouring in. Lanni had offered to run the office while he was away. Actually the arrangement suited them both, since she needed a quiet place to write.
His sister left soon afterward, and Matt wandered into the kitchen with its gleaming new appliances. He was eager for paying guests. Eager to host tourists from all over the world.
So far, he’d managed to acquire only a handful of reservations. His listing in the ARC had been entered late—too late to attract much of the lucrative fishing business. He had a lot to learn about attracting tourists, but he was willing and able. And determined. He would make a go of this lodge or die trying.
“Matt has a right to know about the baby.” Lanni’s voice sounded tinny on Karen’s telephone line. “You don’t know how close I came to telling him myself last week.”
“But you didn’t, did you?” Karen cried in alarm. If anyone told her ex-husband she was two months pregnant, it should be her. Except that was turning out to be even harder than she’d expected.
“No, I didn’t,” Lanni assured her. “Listen, Karen, if you don’t want to tell him face-to-face, why don’t you write him a letter?”
“I can’t.” After the things she’d said to him, she wouldn’t blame him if he returned her letter unopened. Besides, this was the kind of news that was better given in person.
“You should’ve called him right away.” The censure in Lanni’s voice was strong. It might’ve been a mistake to confide in her ex-sister-in-law, but she’d had to tell someone.
“You’ve already waited a month longer than you should have,” Lanni reminded her.
Karen had no defense. “I know.”
“But you have a chance to rectify it all now. He’s going to be in Oakland on Friday.”
Karen bit her lower lip. “So you said.”
The pause lasted long enough for Karen to wonder if Lanni was still on the line. When she spoke again, her voice was gentle. “How are you feeling?”
Karen rested her hand on her abdomen. “Better,” she said, although that wasn’t entirely true. No one had warned her how dreadful morning sickness could be. During her first few weeks of pregnancy she’d suffered few such symptoms, but now…
At the time of her original doctor’s appointment she’d felt tired and restless and depressed. But that had changed dramatically after the first month. She wasn’t depressed anymore—but not a day passed when she didn’t view parts of a toilet that were never meant to be seen at such close range.
Despite the past month’s discomforts, Karen was thrilled to be pregnant. She’d always wanted children but hadn’t started a family with Matt because she’d wanted him to settle into a permanent job first—which, of course, had never happened. Furthermore, he’d seemed reluctant to have a child, which was one reason she’d delayed telling her ex-husband he was about to become a father.
To some women a pregnancy at a time like this would have been a disaster. However, Karen couldn’t help being excited. She wanted this child. Despite everything, she loved Matt. But as far as their relationship was concerned, the baby would be an additional complication in an already complicated situation.
“I hope you’ll reconsider,” Lanni said, and Karen realized she hadn’t been listening.
“Reconsider?”
“Going to see Matt. You should, if for no other reason than to watch his presentation. He had Charles and me sit through it before he left, and I have to tell you, Karen, I was impressed.”
“He’s talking to travel agents?”
“That’s right. He’s put together this wonderful slide show. I was so busy this winter finishing up my commitments to the newspaper in Anchorage that I didn’t pay a lot of attention to what Matt was doing. Did you know he spent ten days on the tundra with a musher and a team of sled dogs?”
“Matt?”
“He told me he couldn’t very well sell the adventure if he hadn’t experienced it himself. And his pictures—they’re fabulous.”
Karen could easily imagine Matt standing in front of an audience. He was good with people, outgoing, friendly. And a persuasive kind of guy.
“When he talked about the dogs,” Lanni went on, “his eyes just sparkled with excitement. If the number of phone calls I’m getting here is any indication, he’s doing a good job of selling the winter packages.”
“You mean to say he’s actually convinced people to visit the Arctic in winter?” Karen had trouble believing it, but then, what did she know about vacations? In the four years of their married life, they hadn’t been able to afford even one.
“I’ve taken at least ten reservations, and Matt’s only been gone a week,” Lanni said proudly. “More are coming in every day.”
“Oh…” Karen couldn’t quite hide her surprise.
“Are you going to see him or not?” Lanni prodded.
“I…don’t know yet.”
“Well, you’d better decide soon because he’ll only be in Oakland one night. He’s scheduled to go to—” Karen heard a rustle of papers “—Portland, Seattle and then home.”
“I’m not making any promises,” Karen said, but she knew Lanni was right. Matt deserved to learn that he’d be a father in seven months. She just didn’t know how he’d react to the news.
Matt saw Karen the moment she slipped into the back row of the meeting room. Even from this distance, the first thing he noticed was how pale she looked. He sat on the stage with a number of other lodge operators, all working hard to sell their tour packages. Luckily he’d already given his presentation, so the pressure was off and he could study his ex-wife.
She’d lost weight, and he wondered if that was intentional. If so, she was too thin, but she wouldn’t appreciate hearing that, especially from him.
The temptation to walk off the stage and confront her then and there was almost overwhelming. He might have done it if not for their last conversation.
Well, this time, she could come to him. He was tired of having his teeth shoved down his throat whenever he attempted to reason with her.
Then again, maybe she didn’t intend to seek him out. Maybe she was only here to satisfy her curiosity. Or because she’d promised Lanni. Fine, so be it, he decided. With effort he managed to keep his eyes resolutely trained on the current speaker. But again and again, his gaze drifted back to her….
The moderator walked to the microphone. “Are there any questions?”
A hand went up in the middle of the room. “I have one for Mr. Caldwell.”
Matt stood.
“Do you have any response to the animal-rights people who question using dogs to pull
sleds?”
Matt had gotten the same question in almost every city. “First, I want to assure you that the dogs are loved and cared for the way most people look after their own children. As for the rigors of life on the trail, the huskies are thoroughly happy. Running was what they were born to do, and they love it. Their comfort range is amazing. Until the weather drops to around thirty below, many sled dogs prefer to sleep outside rather than in a kennel.”
“Are the dogs dangerous?” someone called out.
“No,” Matt said, smiling. “Mostly they’re playful and fun. At rest stops along the winter trails, they cool down by rolling in the snow. For the first mile of a run, they’re excited and excitable, but even an inexperienced musher can learn to manage them. After the first day or so, everyone will come to know the dogs by name and personality.”
Since he offered something new and interesting, Matt fielded the majority of the questions. As with his audiences in other cities, he felt he’d accomplished his purpose. The travel agents certainly seemed enthusiastic. But even as he was speaking, his gaze was drawn back to Karen. Pride be damned. He wasn’t letting her off the hook so easily. If she wanted to walk out, fine, but he made sure she knew he’d seen her.
Following the question-and-answer session, the applause was vigorous. Matt gathered his notes, glancing up only once to see if he could find Karen. His heart fell when he realized she was nowhere in sight.
Then, when he was convinced she’d run away like a frightened rabbit, he turned around and found her standing no more than a foot away.
At close range, she looked paler than she had from the other end of the room. His concern was immediate.
“Karen, have you been ill?”
“No. Well, you wouldn’t call it ill.”
The woman spoke in riddles.
“Matt, do you have time for a drink?”
She was actually inviting him. That was progress. He frowned at his watch, wanting her to sweat it out. “I suppose.” He tried to make it sound as if he was squeezing her in between appointments.
Carrying his briefcase, he led the way to the hotel’s cocktail lounge and ordered two glasses of white wine.
“No, just one glass,” Karen said to the waitress. “I’ll have an herbal tea. Any kind.”
Matt looked at her in astonishment. “Tea? I thought you liked wine.”
“I’m avoiding alcohol,” she explained, her eyes averted.
He wondered why, but he wasn’t going to ask. She was the one with the agenda here, and frankly he was more than a little curious about what she wanted to say.
“I was impressed with your answers to the questions,” she began. “I’d hoped to be here for your presentation, but…I wasn’t feeling well earlier,” she said, sounding shaky and uncertain. She rallied and continued. “Lanni mailed me one of your brochures. They look terrific.”
“Thanks.” He wasn’t going to make this easy for her. Not after the grief she’d given him, the pain she’d caused.
“She told me you’ve been getting reservations ever since you went on tour.”
“So I understand.”
Their drinks arrived and Matt signed the bill with his room number. He noticed that when Karen sipped her tea, her hand trembled. Now he was beginning to get worried.
“Karen, what did you mean earlier about being sick?”
“I’m not sick.”
“Oh, yeah, I can tell. How much weight have you lost?” He hadn’t intended to be sarcastic, but he hated cat-and-mouse games. If she had something to say, he wished she’d just spit it out.
He waited for her answer, determined not to speak again until she’d said something relevant; she remained silent. His resolve lasted all of one minute.
“How’s the career coming?” he asked, hoping she noticed his choice of words. She’d worked for the engineering firm for three years. She was an employer’s dream—conscientious, organized, efficient. He hadn’t been surprised that when her boss was promoted he’d made her his executive assistant and moved her to California with him.
“Great.”
Somehow Matt didn’t believe her.
“Mr. Sullivan giving you problems?” he asked. In some ways, the older man was more like a father to Karen. Matt couldn’t imagine Sullivan creating difficulties for her.
“Actually he’s been very understanding about the time I’ve missed from work.”
“Missed work?” That didn’t sound like Karen, either. In the four years of their marriage, he couldn’t recall her taking a single day of sick leave.
“I’ve been having some trouble…mostly in the mornings.” She leveled her gaze at him, as though she expected him to make some logical deduction from that bit of information.
“Ah, you’ve got PMS,” he said, attempting a small joke.
From the disapproving scowl she sent him, he gathered she didn’t find it humorous. “Matt, you can really be obtuse.”
“Me? Listen, Karen, you’re the one who wouldn’t allow me to finish our last conversation. As far as I’m concerned, if you’ve got something to say, just say it, because I have a flight to catch in the morning.”
Lifting her chin to a dignified angle, she reached for her purse and stood. “You’re absolutely right,” she said in a clear voice. “I’ve been beating around the bush.” Her purse strap slipped off her shoulder and she quickly secured it. “I don’t have a perpetual case of PMS, Matt, as amusing as you appear to find that. The reason I’ve lost weight can be attributed to something else. I have what’s known as morning sickness. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll leave you to mull that one over.” She turned abruptly and walked out of the lounge.
“Morning sickness,” Matt repeated, and downed the last of his wine in one swallow. The words echoed in his brain and his gaze flew to her retreating figure. He bolted upright. “You’re pregnant?”
Karen turned the corner and was gone.
“She’s pregnant,” Matt shouted to the cocktail waitress. Then, before he completely lost Karen, he raced to the lobby in time to see her walking out the front doors.
“Karen, wait!”
Either she didn’t hear him or she was determined to ignore him. It was just like her to drop that kind of news and then leave him to deal with the repercussions on his own.
He didn’t catch up with her until she’d reached her car.
“What do you mean you’re pregnant?” he demanded. “How did that happen?”
She whirled around and glared at him.
“Weren’t you on the pill?”
“Why should I be?” she asked. “We were divorced, remember?”
As if he’d forgotten!
“Don’t you dare suggest birth control is entirely up to the woman,” she said from between gritted teeth.
Matt was having trouble taking all this in. “But…how?”
“Well,” she muttered sarcastically, “here’s what I remember from biology class. The woman provides the egg and the man supplies the sperm.”
“I know all that!” he snapped. “What I’m talking about is us. We’re both responsible adults. I can’t believe we didn’t consider the possibility of your getting pregnant.” He leaned against the side of her car, his legs like gelatin.
“It might’ve helped if you’d broken the news a bit more gently,” he said.
“It would help if you weren’t looking for someone to blame.”
“That’s not true,” he flared. He rubbed the back of his neck. “You’re going to need financial assistance.” Since his budget was tight, money was the first thing that came to mind.
Karen made a growling sound, and he looked up to find her glaring at him again, her eyes bright with unshed tears. “You’re impossible!” she shouted.
“What did I say now?”
“Nothing.” She shook her head. “I’ve fulfilled my obligation. I told you about the baby. I do apologize for any inconvenience this might cause you.” Sarcasm dripped from every word. “Perhaps the best a
lternative is to have my attorney talk to your attorney. Goodbye, Matt.”
With that, she unlocked her car door and climbed in.
“You can’t leave!” he shouted as she started the car. “We have to talk.” But she ignored him as if he hadn’t even spoken. “Karen, would you listen to me?”
She twisted around to look over her shoulder before shoving the car into Reverse. Then she backed out of the space and drove off, leaving him standing in the middle of the parking lot, seething with frustration.
Karen barely slept that night. She wasn’t sure what she’d expected from Matt, but not the sarcastic arrogance he’d dished up and served her while they were in the cocktail lounge. He’d seemed to…to enjoy her discomfort.
When she’d finally garnered enough courage to tell him about the pregnancy, he’d reacted as if she’d plotted against him. As if it was important to somehow assign blame for the unexpected pregnancy.
What bothered her most, Karen decided sometime in the wee hours of the morning, was the fact that his reaction was completely contrary to the romantic picture she’d painted in her mind. For weeks she’d envisioned telling Matt about their baby and watching his eyes go soft as he regarded her with tenderness and love.
After being married to Matt for four years, she should’ve known better. The man didn’t possess a romantic bone in his body. Furthermore, why should he be excited and pleased because she was pregnant? He’d never wanted a baby.
He didn’t want a child now, any more than he had when they were married. A baby was an inconvenience. A baby got in the way of his plans.
She’d listened to his arguments about financial security often enough to know exactly what he’d been thinking. If Matthew Caldwell lived to be a hundred, he’d never be financially secure—simply because he’d never hold a job long enough to make it possible.
She was better off without him. On a conscious level she knew that, but on an emotional one, it hurt. It really hurt. If there was ever a time in her life she needed coddling and comfort, it was now.
Although the doctor assured her the morning sickness would lessen, she hadn’t seen any evidence of it. The next morning, like every other morning for weeks, she rose, managed to down a breakfast of tea and soda crackers, then promptly lost it. Spending most of the night agonizing about Matt hadn’t helped her physical condition.
Midnight Sons Volume 2 Page 20
