by Maggie Ryan
“It’s not nothing,” he gently chastised. “Look at me.” She shook her head without lifting it. “Lillian, I’d really prefer talking to you in this position, but if you insist on lying to me, I’ll have no choice but to flip you—”
“I-I can’t explain it,” she said quickly. “I need to… to think about it.” She lifted her face and met his eyes though she feared he’d be able to read how naughty her thoughts had been. She’d rather take another spanking than admit that she wanted to ask him why he’d allowed her to pull her drawers up. Why hadn’t he pulled her onto his lap with her bottom bared, and why… why hadn’t he touched her… touched her in her quim? As a quiver ran through her at that thought, she felt her drawers becoming damp and was suddenly very glad he’d allowed her to cover herself.
“All right. I’ll let you think about it but we will revisit the matter, understand?”
God, she hoped not but she nodded. “Yes, sir.”
“Good girl. For now, I want to give you something else to think about.”
“I’ve already thought about all the things you said when I was standing in the corner.”
He squeezed her a bit tighter and kissed the top of her head. “I thank you for that and I hoped you learned from your corner time. However, I want you to think about allowing me to take care of you.”
She’d had no clue as to what he wanted her to think about, but at his words, she relaxed. “I don’t have to think about that. You are taking care of me right now and I… like it. I like it very much.”
“I’m very glad but I think you may have misunderstood. I’m not talking about just today, little one. I want to take care of you for the rest of your life.”
Afraid that he meant nothing more than asking her to join him for a weekly tea party until she was old and gray, she knew she wanted… no, she needed more. “That is very nice but I-I can take care of myself.”
“I know you can but, Lilly, I love you and I would love if you’d let me—”
“You-you love me?”
“Yes, I told you earlier but I guess you didn’t hear me.”
“No… when… you love me? You don’t just want to have tea?”
His dimple appeared as he chuckled. “I told you that if I didn’t love you, I wouldn’t take the time to discipline you. Perhaps your attention was on the spanking you were going to get?” Lilly barely had time to nod before he continued. “And no. As much as I like tea, I want us to have far more than tea parties. I want to share everything with you. Not for a day, a week, or a few months. Lilly, I want to share our lives. I want to take care of you for the rest of your life, little one.”
She just stared up at him, waiting for some sign, some flicker that he was lying. His blue eyes never wavered from hers and the only flicker she saw was one of doubt. Was it doubt about what he had just said, or doubt that she’d ever believe him? Buying some time, she tucked her head beneath his chin, closed her eyes and simply let him hold her.
“I don’t really know what to say. I’ve never… You-you can have your choice of any woman. Why-why me?”
“Because you are Lillian Lancaster. You are an incredible woman with incredible strengths. You don’t have to say anything right now. Just promise me that you’ll think about it. Think about how you feel right now. Think about how you felt when I spanked you and placed you in the corner. Just think, Lilly. When I come to take you to breakfast tomorrow, we can talk about anything you wish. I’ll answer whatever questions you have. Promise me that you won’t run away again. Promise me that you’ll give me a chance.”
She didn’t know what would happen tomorrow, or the next day, or the next. But, for now, she could make him that promise. “I promise I won’t run, but I can’t go to breakfast…”
“Why not?”
“Because I need to go to the vendors and buy flowers. If I’m not there early, there won’t be any good ones left.”
“Ah, that’s easily remedied. There are plenty of flowers in your garden just waiting to be chosen.” When she opened her mouth to protest, he lifted his eyebrow. “You were given that garden as a gift and promised to take care of it. You know what happens to little flower girls who break their promises?”
“Yes, sir, they get spanked.” She didn’t understand why, it really made no sense, and yet when she gave her answer, it wasn’t her bottom that tingled; it was her quim.
And when he bent and whispered, “On their pretty bare bums,” before crushing her lips with his, she suddenly understood how an icicle, so hard and cold, must feel when exposed to unrelenting heat. By the time he released her, she felt as if she were nothing more than a puddle of water.
She was panting when he guided her off his lap, helping her to stand. When her leg buckled a bit, he was instantly on his knees. “Did I hurt you?”
“No… no,” she assured him, forcing herself to straighten. “I must have twisted it a bit but it’s fine now.” Seeing his concern, she reached out and touched his forehead. “You are the one who is hurt. You’ve got a bruise. I’m so sorry I threw my basket.” Bending forward, she pressed her lips to the bruise above his right eye. When she pulled back, he was smiling and moving to stand.
“It already feels better. Now, you sit here and I’ll be right back.” Before she could protest, he’d lifted her and settled her on the chair. When he left, she reached down to massage her calves, keeping her eye on the door and forcing back even the softest groan.
When he returned, she watched in amazement as he set her table, unfolding various cloths to reveal their contents and pouring tea into cups. Her eyes filled when he reached into the basket and pulled out Miss Bushy, placing her at one of the settings. Turning, he came to her and she gave a squeal when he picked her up, chair and all to move it to the table. Lifting her once again, he settled her into his lap before speaking.
“Thank you for finally joining us for tea. We’ve missed you very much. Now, which would you prefer, chicken or tuna?”
“Chicken, please,” she said, and when he placed two of the sandwiches on her plate, she added, “Oh, and one tuna, in case Mr. Tom decides to forgive me as well.”
She giggled as he held her tight and bent sideways to place a tuna sandwich on the cat’s plate. When he straightened and chose his own sandwich, he looked at her and grinned.
“Just be careful. Mr. Tom tends to bite the hand that feeds him.”
They both laughed and by the time he’d repacked the basket and she’d stored the leftovers in her box, it was almost too dark to see.
“Good night, Lilly. I’ll be here bright and early tomorrow.” He paused, and even in the dim light she could see his dimple. “Not at the crack of dawn, mind you, but early.”
“I’ll be here.”
She stood in the doorway, watching as Mr. Tom slunk in and Phillip climbed into the carriage that had appeared from nowhere. How did James know when his services were needed? When Phillip’s head poked out the window to call, “Sweet dreams, my sweet Lilly,” she smiled and it took her a moment to realize that he planned to sleep in the carriage as he had every night for the past week. Shaking her head, she just waved, wished him the same, and turned to go find her own bed.
Chapter Thirteen
Lilly was more than ready when a soft knock sounded the next morning. She’d been up for hours and had bathed, dressed, and had attempted to pass the time reading, but her thoughts kept returning to the previous evening. Opening the door, she just barely managed not to fling herself at him.
“Good morning, or is it afternoon?” she teased.
“Very amusing,” he said, bending to kiss her and reach around to pat at her bottom. “I suppose I could have been here earlier but I thought my little one might appreciate a treat. But…”
She could feel the heat begin to crawl up her body to bloom in her cheeks at the word. “I-I…”
“Are you going to invite me in?”
“Oh, yes, I’m sorry,” she said, stepping aside so that he could enter. “Wher
e did you go? I mean, I know you were outside most of the night but the carriage was gone this morning.”
“I had a little errand to run.”
She noticed that he had on a different suit and berated herself. Of course he’d need to go home and change. “I was just teasing about…”
“I know, sweetheart. I just had a hard time picking out a present for you.”
It was only then that she saw he was holding a parcel. “What is it?”
Chuckling, he again moved the chair from against the wall and took a seat. When he patted his knee, she had no fear that he was going to turn her face down this time and moved to allow him to seat her on his lap.
“Remember how I told you I love to read?” At her nod, he smiled. “From your stack of books, it’s obvious you do, as well.”
“Yes, besides gardening, it’s my favorite thing to do.”
Grinning, he shook his head as he placed the parcel in her lap. “You must have thought I was a fool when I wrote you those notes. I apologize for—”
“No, don’t,” she said quickly. “I did think you must wonder at my ability to read but when I thought about it a bit more, I realized that it was actually very kind of you to even give it any consideration. I’m very glad you wrote them.”
“I’m very glad you read them.” He patted the parcel. “Open it.”
He didn’t have to ask again. She fumbled a bit with the knot in the string but when he offered to cut it for her, she shook her head. “No, thank you. I’ve almost got it, and a longer piece will serve more purposes than a shorter one.” Once she’d worked the knot free, she removed the string and unfolded the wrapping.
“Oh… it’s so beautiful,” she said, reaching out to stroke her fingers along the cover of the book. “It’s almost as if you could pick them up and put them in a vase. Thank you.” Keeping one hand on the book, she wrapped her other arm around his neck and pulled him down, brushing her lips gently across his. She wasn’t the least bit disappointed when he put a hand behind her head and kept her in place, the kiss deepening until she was breathless.
“I’m glad you like it,” he said after releasing her. “I thought it might help you choose something that will grow as well as your ivy.”
“My ivy?”
“Yes,” he said, pointing to the window. “It is beautiful but, well, those poor little sticks don’t appear to be doing very well.”
Lilly giggled and shook her head. “Those aren’t sticks, they are roses.”
“Roses? Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure. I know they don’t look like it, but one day they will be beautiful bushes. All they need is sunshine, water, and love.” When he still looked very doubtful, she wiggled off his lap, clutching the book in one hand and reaching for his hand. “Come, I’ll show you.”
When they were at the window, she pointed to a tiny leaf. “I cut them from Miss Summers’ bushes. You have to strip away the flower and the leaves so that the plant can use its energy to sprout roots. They are already beginning to leaf and that means they are going to live.”
“And bloom into beautiful roses.”
“Yes,” she said, turning her face up to his to see he wasn’t looking at the cuttings but was looking down at her. “Once they grow stronger, I’ll plant them outside.”
“You are amazing. I insult you by leaving notes a small child could read and then insult your skills by giving you a book on gardening when it’s obvious you have a great deal of knowledge on the subject.”
“Oh, no,” she protested. “You couldn’t have given me a better gift. May I show you something else?” At his nod, she carefully placed the new book on her stack and set the wrapping paper and string on her table. “It’s outside.”
He kept her hand in his as she led him around the back of the small shed. “This is my garden. It’s not very big but it provides enough for me. Those are radishes, that’s lettuce, the next row is tomatoes but I’m having a bit of trouble growing them.” When he didn’t make any remark, she flushed, knowing he’d probably never had to consider where the food his cook prepared came from. “I know it’s not much…”
*
“It most certainly is a great deal,” Phillip countered. “Actually, I think it is rather remarkable. You’ve taken a piece of dirt and turned it into something beautiful. You are an incredible woman.”
“It’s just vegetables.”
“No, it’s far more than that,” he said, cupping her face between his palms. “It’s life.” When he released her from the kiss, he grinned. The sound of her stomach growling had been audible even over her moan from the kiss.
“Forgive me, I know it’s far past the time you normally break your fast.” He took her hand and led her around the shed. “Are you ready to go and eat?”
“Yes, please. Where are we going?”
“Remember we talked about Mrs. Yardley?”
“Yes, she prepared our tea party fare.”
“That’s right, and I promised I’d bring you to visit. She wants to prepare us breakfast.” When she didn’t speak, he again cupped her face. “Lilly, trust me. I promise you’ll enjoy it.” She nodded. “Good girl,” he said, “besides, if you want, you can talk about tomatoes.”
“Tomatoes? Why, is she going to make me peel a pile bigger than myself?”
“Not unless you are naughty,” he said, glad to hear her teasing again. He waited while she ran back inside to retrieve her flower basket. Taking her hand, he led her towards the carriage. “I just meant that she has a huge kitchen garden, and you two could talk about why your tomatoes are giving you problems.”
He settled her on his lap in the carriage and only knew he was torn. Her joy over the book and her excitement over her garden was obvious. He loved that she had shared her plans with him and yet all he could think about was the fact that he had no wish to see the rose cuttings she was so carefully nurturing planted in amongst the radishes. No, while he wanted those bushes to take root and become beautiful plants, he wanted them to do so on the grounds of his estate.
When the carriage stopped and the door opened, he could feel her hesitation but was so very pleased when she allowed him to lift her out. They walked up the pavement together but when she tried to veer off to the side of the house, he tightened his hold on her hand.
“No, little one, we’ll go through the front door.”
“But…”
“No buts,” he said firmly. Yes, he’d asked her to give some thought to what he’d discussed the day before, but until she told him she had no interest in being his, he planned to continue showing her that she was safe with him. “I’ve got you. I promise, everything will be fine.”
She did manage to give him a little nod, though he hoped he’d see a smile soon. The door opened to his knock.
“Good morning, Phillip, Miss Lilly. I’m very glad you are here. Mrs. Yardley has been doing a bit of pacing of her own this morning.”
“Good morning, Eleanor,” Phillip said, giving her cheek a kiss. “Forgive us for being late. It was my fault.”
“No forgiveness needed,” Eleanor said, “Just as long as—”
“It’s about time,” a voice interrupted and they saw the cook standing at the end of the hall. “Another half an hour and I’d be changing your menu to luncheon. Come along, my pancakes are bubbling.”
“Go ahead and enjoy your breakfast. I need to take care of a few things and then perhaps, if your Lilly doesn’t mind me inviting myself, I’ll join you for a cup of tea,” Eleanor said.
Phillip was very pleased when Lilly said, “I don’t mind at all.”
“Thank you. I’ll join you in a bit.” She walked down another hall as Phillip led Lilly towards the kitchen. Before he could apologize for being late, Belinda was walking towards them.
“Just put that basket down on the counter. You won’t need it to eat.”
Phillip moved to do so, and felt Lilly’s hand slip from his. Turning, expecting to see that she’d decided to run, he
found his little one being practically smothered by the cook.
“I am so happy you’ve come. What took you so long? Oh, never mind. You are here now. How many pancakes do you want to start with?”
He grinned as Lilly, who was attempting to breathe again, managed to say, “One?”
“One! Lord, no one just eats one of my pancakes. No, you’ll have at least three. Come on, you can sit right here.”
Phillip lifted Lilly onto the tall stool, bending to brush his lips across her cheek. “Don’t worry, you can slip one to me when she’s not looking.” He expected to hear at least a little giggle but instead, felt her trembling.
“Honey? What’s wrong?” She just shook her head and it appeared she was valiantly attempting to breathe deeply. Had Belinda’s hug truly been that suffocating? No, Lilly had been smiling until she was led to the table. His quick look around had him wondering if she perhaps felt her little garden was inadequate. Baskets full of vegetables sat on a counter. It wasn’t until he realized there was another person in the room that he had to stifle his own moan. Sarah was chopping carrots and he remembered Eleanor telling him about the day she’d seen Lilly crouched beneath her window. Of course she was uneasy. She’d seen the girl getting her arse paddled.
“Lilly, it’s…”
“I’m all…”
“Lillian, if you are going to tell me you are all right, then I’m going to have to spank you.” Her eyes widened but she said nothing. Before he could continue, Belinda spoke.
“Sarah, go ahead and add those carrots to the pot. Then you can start on the potatoes.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Sarah said and when she moved across the kitchen towards the stew pot, Phillip realized that Lilly’s eyes had not been on the baskets or the girl. He followed her gaze and watched as the carrots were added to a large pot that was suspended above the fire in a huge fireplace. Sarah gave him a nod and then returned to her assigned task. Looking at Lilly again, he noticed her head didn’t turn to follow the girl.
Remembering his words of a moment ago, he cupped her face in his hands, gently lifting her head until he could see her eyes. “I know you are not all right; what I don’t know is why? Is it Sarah?”
