Then they all came back, flowing into my senses like an unstoppable wave. That feeling was gone, but for good reason. Now I simply couldn’t dance alone. I shared my portion of the flame with the others, working together to keep the flame alive. We bent the flames to our will and they danced without protest.
Then, when the time came, three of the shamans backed out, leaving Ne’kall and me to finish the dance. We had been elected to perform the duel that ended this particular dance, and that was a lot of pressure for me.
Ne’kall’s dancing mirrored mine on the opposite side of the empty bonfire pit. His motions were stiff, unlike my more fluid ones, making this part of the dance harder to do, even though it wasn’t his fault. The way I used fire was different than most. Most used power and force to control their fire, creating jerky or stiff movements, but my movements were fluid, like a shaman using water.
I knew the reason. It was because of my mother. She had taught me how to control my ability. She had taught me how to ease the burning, but she could only teach me in the only way she knew how. She knew water and water was fluid. She didn’t know fire but she knew it couldn’t be much different than water so she taught me her way without hesitation. She had been right and, in the end, it had been more beneficial for me to learn that way. It helped me ease the hunger and ease the loneliness caused by my difference from others.
Ne’kall’s movements became more aggressive but my pace remained the same. The fires stopped merging, and we stopped sharing. My fire spun around me, and his around him, and it moved faster as the beat of the drums increased. The fires continued to swirl around until the drums abruptly stopped and the fire we had controlled suddenly burst outward.
My breath came slow and steady, and I held my crossed arms over each other elegantly. Small butterflies that were once my flame, created by the flame’s death, fluttered around illuminating small portions of the night sky and areas of the forest. Ne’kall’s embers rolled on the ground, and as they touched they formed into larger flames until they shaped into small bear cubs that tumbled around by his feet.
The will of the flame butterflies pulled on my fingertips, and I secretly watched them flutter over the villagers and my men. I watched their awed faces and I watched as many of them tried to reach up to the tiny flames. I watched as some flames landed, lighting up smiles everywhere.
Then a drum beat and my fingers twitched. The butterflies reacted, and then reacted again, when the drum beat again and my will to respond was forced into them. The drums beat more, its slow-building rhythm vibrating deep in my chest. The beat picked up, moving quicker, and I pulled my flames with great force back to me.
Ne’kall’s flames reacted to the beat as well and merged together creating, larger and larger bears. Ne’kall and I danced once again but this time our fires began to merge and form into a completely different shape. Ne’kall gave me the will of his fire, and I knew the dance was coming to again. I was honored he would give me the ending, and I wasn’t going to disappoint.
As we danced and the fires became one, I moved closer to the empty bonfire pit. When I was close enough, I took control of both flames and forced them into the sky. The flames completed their merge and soared into the air with giant wings. The bird’s long, flowing tail attempted to keep it anchored to my will, but I forced it to move on as I moved to the center of the bonfire pit.
Once in the exact position I need to be in, I made my large sweeping motions and then pulled the fire down on top of me. Relaxing, I closed my eyes and held my breath as the heat of the phoenix-shaped flame crashed down and consumed me. Staying still for several moments, I finally opened my eyes and looked around.
I was no longer in the bonfire pit. I stood on the outside of the celebration circle hidden behind the shadows of the trees. I watched as people looked around for me and I grinned. There were two variations to the dance. One variation left the final two shamans facing off, and the second, the one I chose, used an illusion to seemingly disappear in fire.
I brushed off small bits of dirt from my clothes and sent a silent prayer of thanks to the gods for the skilled and mysterious earth shaman who helped me. Placing blind faith in someone wasn’t something I often did, but I was glad it had worked out in my favor this time.
Slowly, I picked my way back to where I had chosen to sit for the celebration. Only small embers remained in the bonfire pit, and Ne’kall was too busy looking around for me in the dark to think to bring the fire back to life.
Tla’lli, Talon, and Raikidan looked at me with surprise as I sat down next to them. I held my finger to my mouth to make sure they didn’t say anything, and they nodded. I watched Ne’kall continue to look around for me and tried hard not to laugh. He obviously had not seen this version of the dance before.
Smirking, I lifted my hand and willed the embers left in the bonfire pit to grow and shape into the phoenix that had seemingly engulfed me. Ne’kall stared at it with surprise. The phoenix shape arched its neck and spread its wings as if it were going to take off again, but instead I let go of the flame and it transformed into an ordinary fire.
Ne’kall turned and looked directly at me. I lifted the bear skull and smirked at him. Ne’kall chuckled and shook his head. Bowing graciously, he backed into the crowd and disappeared, ending the dance for good. People began to clap and cheer, showing their pleasure for the show. When the cheering began to die, music was started back up, keeping the energy for the celebration high.
“Not what I was expecting, but it was pretty interesting,” Talon commented.
“Nothing is ever as you expect,” I remarked as I picked up the rest of my dinner I had yet to finish.
“Touché,” he replied with a chuckle.
I ate quietly after that. Talon understood my requirement of silence and was more than happy to oblige, choosing to continue conversing with Tla’lli.
It wasn’t long before I grew bored. Everyone around me was enjoying themselves, acting normally, while I kept to myself like usual, and didn’t look normal. Stifling a sigh, I removed the bear skull from my head and continued eating. I was forced to stop when Raikidan lightly tapped my arm. I looked at him as he stood up. He jerked his head as if telling me to follow and then walked away. Curious, I put my food down and followed.
No one paid us any mind, much to my relief, as we made our way out of the throng of people and into the darkness of the forest. The farther we moved from the celebration, the darker the forest became. I was curious of Raikidan’s intent but also annoyed with his silence. What did he want with me all the way out here?
Suddenly, when the light from the bonfire was no longer able to guide our way, he held up a clenched hand and opened it, revealing one of my fire butterflies. It fluttered its wings but didn’t fly off, creating a new light source. I eyed Raikidan but he only passed me a quick glance with a matching grin before continuing on, giving no hint as to his intentions. Determined to find out what he wanted, I followed.
I didn’t have to follow much longer. Once we walked into a small clearing he stopped walking. I looked around to find nothing spectacular about the small clearing. The light of the full moon, unhindered by thick tree cover, lit it up and bathed the ground in silver light. I looked at my skin as it too was bathed in the light and almost smiled.
I looked up from my studying when I noticed Raikidan moving toward me. He stopped only inches away and held out his hand with the butterfly perched on it. The fire butterfly flapped its wings and fluttered over to my shoulder, where it took a new perch.
“You looked like you could use some space,” Raikidan finally said. “I know you don’t like crowds much.”
I chuckled and looked up at the stars in the sky. “To be honest I was fine being around all of them. They’re my comrades, not random people on the street.”
“So you were completely fine?”
I looked at him
and nodded. “Yes, but thanks for the thought.”
Raikidan nodded and watched me.
“What?” I asked him.
He sighed. “Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?”
I eyed him suspiciously. “It depends.”
Raikidan moved closer and lightly grabbed my arm. He slid his fingers over them, feeling the tiny scars that littered my skin. The action sent a strange sensation through my body.
“You told me these were battle scars,” he began. “But how many are really self-inflicted?”
“A better question would be how many are actually battle scars?” Raikidan looked at me as I pulled my arm away. “I didn’t see full battle much. My design as assassin meant I stayed hidden until I found my target and eliminated him. I was good at what I did and was rarely ever caught, let alone hurt. But as good as I was, I also didn’t listen well. I didn’t like being a pawn and I wanted to make choices for myself. So, I disobeyed orders constantly and as a result ended up hurting myself. But the pain didn’t deter me like it did others. It reminded me I could feel something. It told me I was alive and I lived off of feeling that pain. Sometimes that pain ended up being the only thing that got me through.”
Raikidan grabbed a hold of my arm again and rubbed his thumb over the scars.
“My words bother you,” I observed.
He nodded. “I don’t see how someone could live a life like that.”
“When it’s the only life you know, you see it as normal…”
Raikidan looked me in the eye and as he did his grip loosened. “What is the worst scar you’ve given yourself? What scar shows the biggest order you defied?”
I pulled my arm from him and held it close to my body as I thought over his questions. He wanted to know the worst one. Could I really remember that far back? Of course I could. I remembered that order and my defying action well.
As I thought about that moment in time, my hands reacted and instinctually went for the area I had hurt myself that time. I realized that the moment I touched that area, in my state I would remember that memory as if I were living it. I snapped out of my remembering and pulled my hands back up to where I had held them last, before they could touch their intended destination and show Raikidan.
“Don’t make me remember that,” I whispered. “Please.”
“Sorry,” he said quietly. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”
I looked back up at the sky. “Don’t worry about it.”
“Eira…” His trailing off confused me, but before I could look at him, he took my hair clip.
“Raikidan!” I shouted. “Give it back!”
He chuckled and held it out of my reach. “You can reach better than that.”
I smacked him hard in the chest. “I’m not playing games. Give it back!”
Raikidan blinked in confusion from my refusal to play along. “What’s your problem? You’re not normally like this.”
“I didn’t allow the soldiers to play around with it and I’m not about to let you. I won’t risk my hair clip being damaged.”
“That’s not what I meant. You know I’m going to be careful with your hair clip. I know it’s important to you. I was just harmlessly playing around. You’re usually more carefree and playful with me than most other people.”
“Right, like you care about that.”
“Eira, what are you talking about?”
I snorted. “Don’t give me that. You acted like you could care less about my existence while your fellow dragonkin were around. Hell, you could care less about my existence when anyone is around to see us together!”
“Eira, you don’t understand. It’s not like that,” Raikidan objected.
“I don’t understand?” I snatched my hair clip from him. “I understand perfectly. You’re ashamed to be around me. I understand you’re not really here to help. But here’s a newsflash. I don’t play that game. You can’t act all friendly with me and then turn around and pretend I don’t matter when someone else is around. I don’t put up with two-faced people, or in your case, dragons. So do us both a favor and just leave.”
I turned to leave, but Raikidan grabbed me by the arm. “It’s not like that.”
I yanked my arm free. “Then what is it like, Raikidan? Go on, tell me.” Raikidan gulped and hesitated. I shook my head with disbelief and anger. “Like I thought. And here the spirits tried to give me a dream and make me believe you’re really just alone and need someone. They tried to tell me someone else was as alone as I was, but they’re wrong too! You’re not lonely. You’re bored. So take your stupid boredom and go home.”
Raikidan blinked. “Go home?”
“Yeah, go home! You’ve obviously not here to help. You’re here because you’re bored but you’re also too ashamed to be seen near me and I’m not putting up with that, so just go home. I choose to be alone not because I want to, but because it’s safer for others. You, on the other hand, choose it because you feel like it, so you have fun being alone.”
I spun on my heels and was almost knock to the ground when I ran into someone.
“Sorry about that,” the male voice apologized. “I shouldn’t have walked so close.”
I looked at him with a glare. I was surprised to see Xaneth’s mate but didn’t show it.
“What do you want?” I spat.
His brow rose but didn’t reply harshly. “I’m here for him.”
“He’s all yours,” I muttered. “Now get out of my way.”
I pushed passed him and headed back to the celebration. The more distance I put between Raikidan and me the better, and Xaneth’s mate would only help me.
“Cheery, isn’t she?” Xaneth’s mate jested.
Raikidan let out a growl and Xaneth’s mate replied in the same way. It didn’t take a scientist to understand they were no longer speaking common, not like I cared much. I knew this had been a bad idea from the start. I should have ignored his fake offer and kept going about my business. I sighed and stopped walking. But if I had done that I wouldn’t be here. I’d still be running instead of facing my problem…
Taking a deep relaxing breath, I continued on, allowing my fire butterfly to guide me back to the celebration. By the time I sat back down next to Talon, no one would have known I had been upset.
“Where’s Raikidan?” Talon asked me.
I shrugged and picked up what was left of my food. “Doesn’t matter.”
Talon eyed me curiously but soon shrugged it off and went back to talking with people. I ate the rest of my meal in silence and didn’t mind this time. Or, I thought I was going to eat the rest of my meal until a little chirp caught my attention. I looked up to Rimu looking at me with curious eyes. I figured he was looking at my food so I placed it down but his gaze never left me.
It took me a moment to realize he was looking at the butterfly that was perched on my shoulder. Chuckling, I moved the butterfly from me to his head. Rimu tilted his head as if he were trying to get a better look at it, but failed and wound up wandering around aimlessly. His siblings made their way over to him to take a look for themselves, but when I felt they were getting too close, I put extra life into the little butterfly and sent them chasing after it.
They chased the fire butterfly around the bonfire, and even with joint efforts, failed to catch it. Human and elf children watched curiously. It was obvious they wanted to join in but were afraid of being trampled, and I didn’t blame them. Dragon whelps weren’t careful or gentle in the slightest.
Feeling bad and understanding their want to play, I focused on the bonfire and forced more butterflies to fly out of it. The children squealed and ran after them, and even Rimu’s siblings tried to take one for themselves. The children’s enjoyment entertained the adults and got them to enjoy the celebration even more, if that were possible.
> Feeling content about what I’d done, I’ went back to eating. Getting the feeling I was being watched, I looked up to see Talon watching me.
“What?” I asked.
He shook his head. “Nothing.”
I snorted and went back to eating once more. I briefly stopped eating again when someone sat down next to me, and I didn’t need to look up to know who it was. I wasn’t at all pleased that Raikidan had chosen to stay.
He leaned close and whispered into my ear. “You’re wrong about why I’m here, and I have no intention of going home.”
I grunted. “Whatever.”
He sighed and leaned back on his hands, still maintaining a close space between us. Trying to ignore his presence, I went to go back to eating, only to realize I had no food left to eat.
“Here.” Raikidan sat up and handed me his plate he had barely touched.
“Keep it,” I muttered.
“I’m not going to eat it so you might as well,” he insisted.
“Wouldn’t that confuse your instincts?” I challenged.
Raikidan hesitated and then looked down at the food he was offering. Snorting, I leaned forward on my bent legs and watched the children play with my creations. I could hear Raikidan growling from time to time but paid him no mind. I didn’t care who he was talking to or what about.
My eyes began to wander after several moments and ended up resting on my bag. Compelled for no real reason, I reached for it and pulled it into my lap to dig through. I wasn’t sure what I was looking for, but my body did, since I completely ignored almost everything in the bag. My search came to an end when I came across an object wrapped in a violet silk cloth. I unwrapped the object and put my bag aside.
In my hands was my pan flute. I had put it in here when I had been packing, but I didn’t have a true reason for doing so, until now. Taking a steady breath, I lifted the flute to my lips and began to play. The chatter around me died as everyone began to listen. My song was soft and serene and was carried into the night by the soft breeze that filled the air. I continued to play, but part of my attention was pulled when Raikidan started growling again.
Pieces Page 48
