by Jill Cooper
That's when I realize I've been shrieking in my sleep. There’s a warm hand on my arm and it shakes me back and forth, back and forth.
"Cass, it's okay. You're just dreaming."
My eyes open to see Lara. She's beside me, and I can't understand the look of kindness and compassion on her face. She looks as if she really cares, but she never cared before. Could this be a trick? If it is, she’s doing a better job of it than I’ve ever seen before. Under my flannel blanket, I scurry to sit up on the mattress and I wipe my face dry. My head is foggy. "I was dreaming I was in that cage. You were there." I gaze up and Lara sits beside me.
She licks her lips. "I've had dreams like that a lot, maybe not as much anymore, but sometimes they still haunt me. Like I'm still there."
"How did you get over it?"
Lara shrugs and I understand the sadness in her eyes. "Time," Lara laughs as if the answer is funny and I guess it kind of is. She says it again, but with conviction,"Time."
****
In the morning, when Lara brings me breakfast, I can't find the will to resist her. When she lays a small Styrofoam plate in front of me with a basic breakfast of eggs and a blueberry muffin, all I find myself saying is thank you. Lara seems grateful as she gives me a small smile and sits down across from me on the mattress.
While I scarf down the eggs, I noticed that she plays with the hem of the small blanket that’s beside me. As if she’s the nervous one and that startles me.
"Thanks for breakfast."
"You're welcome. Did you want to tell me about that dream you had last night?"
I think to shake my head or just shrug her off. But I don’t. "I was in the cage. There was nowhere for me to go. But you’re there, and you’re torturing me."
"With the electrical batons?"
I nearly choke on my eggs when she says that. Slowly I nod. "But you know nothing about that, right?" The bitterness of my voice startles even me and I watch as Lara shifts uncomfortably on the blanket.
"I know because I was there. I saw what they did to you. But it wasn't me, it was an orderly. And I'm guessing Cameron put them up to it. I know he did because he was in charge of the facility."
I shake my head as I pick up the orange juice in a white Styrofoam cup. "You weren't there as a prisoner in a cage. You were the one doing the torturing."
Lara leans forward and her fingers touch mine. "I know the things they put into your mind seem real, but they're not. I'm going to show you something."
She gets up from the mattress and walks across the room. I watch with puzzlement as she exits the office, leaving the door ajar. As if I won't just follow her out. Maybe this is my chance to escape. I gather myself up and go out into the hallway. Slowly, I creep along until I reach the lobby.
I stand there, at the mouth of the lobby, and in the center, stands Lara. In her hands, she holds the electrical batons that I use, that have been used against me. Cameron liberated me with those and then handed them to me. They became mine.
I became the master of my own domain and now I wield the devices that once tortured me. But now, they are in the hands of my enemy and she's going to use them against me all over again.
She’s manipulated me again. She used them against me once and now she is just playing games, allowing me to believe she is nice, kind, and has somehow become my friend. Right now I don’t know if I am angrier at her or at myself.
As she came at me, I shudder and back up a step. "Please, don't do this." I take a defensive stance with my left leg leaning forward and my arms forming a defensive block, but inside I am shaking. I really don’t want to do this. I don’t want the pain to come back.
"Is this what you're afraid of?" Lara smacks the electrical batons together and I watch the electrical bolt dance from one to the next.
Yes, yes that is what I am afraid of.
Lara stops. She just stops and allows her hands to drop to her side, each holding a baton but neither of them strike out at me. Instead, she offers one to me.
I don’t get her. I don’t understand.
"Go ahead, take it."
I stare at her, with my mouth gaping open.
"Go on." Lara’s eyes beg me to take it "Take it, use it against me if you want to, but just take it."
My hands shake and shudder as I slowly stretch them out to the baton. "Why would you offer this to me? Why would you do this?"
She puts the baton into my open palm. "Because we’re family.”
Family. The word stings. I don't remember what family is. For so long, all I've had was Cameron. But, the look on Lara’s face strikes me. She believes what she says.
My hand tightens around the hilt. When I take a gingerly step forward, Lara looks unsure of herself. Her eyes dart to the side as she takes a step back.
"You said I could strike you."
Lara takes a deep breath. "I did. And I meant it, but that doesn't mean I'm not afraid."
The answer startles me. Lara’s afraid? She's nothing like I remember, or what Cameron told me she is. Where is the ruthless girl who destroys everyone and everything that got in her way?
The doubt lingering in my mind scares me and I lash out. I lunge forward and strike. The electrical baton slashes at her side and the force of it pushes her back.
Her legs struggle to hold her up and when I think she’ll go down, she doesn't. She’s stronger than she looks, for such a little, tiny thing. Fear circles in her wide eyes and I strike again. This time, I hit her hard and fast, against her right side. The blow is enough to knock her onto her back.
I gaze down at her as spiral curls lay around her face and her eyelids squint shut from the pain. Pain, it's been the only constant in my life for so long, it’s all I can really think about. And now, I've done that to someone else. Even if she's is my captor, it stings.
I want to strike her, I want to finish the job and rid myself of Lara Crane. Montgomery, whatever she calls herself. My jaw is tense and my determination returns. I raise my hand overhead and prepare to slam the electrical pulse through her temple, directly into her brain.
Say good-night, Lara. Say good-night.
At the last possible moment, her eyes open and she raises her hand. When she did that the other night, she froze time. Everything around me slowed, I couldn't even move. So why didn’t she do that now? Why would she let me kill her when she could freeze time?
Or just time travel somewhere else?
Lara licks her lips. "I had to let you defeat me. Prove that I would let you do it, rather than hurt you. I had to let you see that I am serious about caring about you, that we’re family. What happens to one Montgomery, happens to us all."
"How do you know what I was thinking?" Lara read minds now too? I’m horrified at the idea.
Somehow, through the pain, Lara manages to smile. "Because I know you. We spent time together, once you were my friend." Lara lowers her hand back down to the floor and rests her head.
She closes her eyes as if she's ready to accept whatever fate I decide to dish out. It’s not normal for a captor to treat her victims this way.
I'm hit with blinding pain behind my eyes. My nose scrunches up to avoid it and my mind flashes to something new. I'm sitting in the cage and Lara is with me, down on one knee. She laughs and I glance over at her, afraid of her eyes.
For a split second, I don't see Lara at all. Instead, I see Cameron and he licks his lips, smiling at me cruelly. "Finish her, dear Cassidy. Finish her."
My mind spins again; I’m back in the office lobby, and the baton slips from my hands, hitting the carpet. Everything Lara said to me is true. It was Cameron who held me captive for years. He's the one that tortured me? He's the one that hurt me? All the while, working to turn me into an assassin, he could unleash on the world. To disrupt the timeline, destroy lives, all to do his bidding?
How could all of this be true and I never saw it?
My chest heaves with a painful sob that I don't want to let go, but it hurts to hold onto it. I fear it
’ll hurt even more to let it free. Wet, angry tears blind me. As the tears flow down my face, I'm so wrapped in my own anger and desperation I almost forget that there's someone else in the room. But then, Lara grabs my hand and my fingers squeeze hers.
"It's okay, Cass. You're going to be okay."
I shake my head because I'm unable to speak. Lara embraces me, hugs me as if she really does know me and I feel that maybe, once, I knew her too. I hold her back and rest my head on her shoulder. "How did you know? What made you trust that I wouldn’t kill you?"
Lara shrugs. "It's the only thing I had left.” She laughs and I can hear the tears in her voice. "If you had killed me, there are other Laras out there that would've taken up the task again. It's not just about me, Cassidy. It’s about saving my family and you’re part of that too. But it's also about stopping Cameron."
Cameron. There's so much to talk about and there’s so much to do. I’m struck with the fact that once I had family. I had roots. Connections.
And with Lara’s help, maybe I can get it back.
****
We settle down on the floor of the lobby for what seems like hours. Lara tells me the story of the adventures we went on and how I helped her change a future I'll never know. Between us are several empty cups of coffee and empty candy wrappers. The sun is high in the sky and shines brightly down on us. "This Jeffrey person felt like a really nice guy." I mused gently, wondering what it would be like to have a boyfriend. To do all the normal things I never got to do because of Cameron—because of the cage.
Lara’s face is sad. It’s been sad for the last half-hour at least. As she recounted her story, especially the parts about what Xavier Daniels had done, it grows worse. Her face falls further than I’ve ever seen. Slowly it’s revealed to me that Lara is damaged. She might appear strong and together, but underneath it all, she’s as scarred as I am.
Traumatized.
And when she talks about it, it only gets worse.
We’d be stronger together. I had to believe that. Cameron violated us both and now it was time to stop him. No matter the cost.
"I'm ready now. I’m ready to tell you everything I know.”
Lara nods and the determination in her eyes returns. "Then let's do this.”
“What do you want to know first?”
She tilts her head as she thinks. “Where is the cage where he broke you? I’ve leapt into it, but I have no idea where it is.”
I rise up to my feet and face the window. “I’m going to have to show you. It defies explanation.”
“Well, now I’m curious.” Lara stands beside me and crosses her arms. “Show me.”
I take a deep breath, allowing the current of time and space to travel through me. Then I raise my hand and freeze it. I only let Lara and I experience what I’m about to do. I can’t resist glancing at her face as I slowly part time.
Her mouth is open and Lara stands up straighter. “What the—f.”
I’ve parted a hole in the wall of the office building. The edges shimmer like gold, but instead of the sky in the opening, there is a window to a different place. A different time. We can see right into the lab. Lab technicians walk back and forth, none the wiser that I’m there. None the wiser that we can see them.
“What is it?” Lara’s arms are relaxed, at her side. She’s a bundle of nerves, energy, and excitement, shifting her weight from one foot to the next. “Where is it?”
I grin. “Nowhere. It’s nowhere. Yet, it’s everywhere.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Lara
Nowhere. There’s that word again, but now I realize it means something. It’s not the mumble of a scared little girl. Molly was trying to tell me something. Over and over again she was trying to tell me something. Only I wasn’t equipped to know what that something was.
Cassidy wiggles her fingers and the hole in time grows larger. It begins to extend under our feet and I start to realize we can walk straight into it if we wanted to. Part of me wants to go and see, but the other part is stronger. It backs up.
“Can you explain what it is first, please?” I’m not proud of the fear my voice holds. After sharing my story about the boxes of Laras in the future, I’m feeling more vulnerable than usual.
“It’s a rip in time. A place that exists outside of time. Cameron says you caused it with all your time travel in the past. He said that’s where you kept me and trained me. Once he freed me, you ran off and he took it over. I’m guessing most of those are half-truths. You might’ve made this place, but he’s the one who found it and is using it by kidnapping different versions of your family. Using them for his research.”
“What does he use this place for?”
Cassidy gives me a steady glower. “To follow you. Study you. See what it is you’re going to do. When he’s there, he can see what you’ve done and what you’re going to do. We pick and choose where to come and go, but the technicians in there, they see everything.”
They can go to the past, the future, multiple timelines, just like that? What a place. What a dangerous place. “So, we need to keep him from going back there. Can you? Keep him from going back?”
Fear fills Cassidy’s eyes. “You mean, see him again? Do what he asks of me? Everything?”
I hold a breath. “Cass, it’s the only way. If he goes back there and sees we’re working together, he’ll just come back at a different time. Collect a different version of you. He has to think you’re on his side.”
The color drains out of her face, but Cassidy nods. I hope she can be as strong as I know she is, but considering how new all this information is to her, I can’t be sure.
I have to trust her.
“Can he travel in time?”
Cassidy shakes her head. “Not in the strictest sense. Only from there. This hole in time. He can’t even open it like I can. He has to use a device.”
A device. Good. We can find a way to use that.
“I can teach you,” Cassidy says, “how to open the bridge—as we call it. You said you jumped in before, but you can’t control it. I can teach you how to control it.”
Good idea. I take a deep breath and raise my hand. “Okay, teach me.”
“It’s always there,” Cassidy smirks and I realize whenever she talks about this place, she comes alive. Maybe part of it feels like its home. “When you time jump, it begs you to come to it. It wants to grow bigger, become stronger. If we’re not careful, one day, it might consume everything.”
My hand lowers without me meaning to. “Time travel is more dangerous than I ever thought.” This is all my fault. All of it. When I went back in time to save my mother, I never fathomed there was so much danger.
Maybe I should’ve gone back in time long ago to stop myself. Let Mom stay dead for all the trouble it caused, but I can’t. God help me, my heart just can’t take it.
With a breath, I raise my hand again. “Okay, show me what you’ve got.”
****
By that night, I can open and close the bridge at will. I can shrink the bridge, make it larger, even pulse it large and then small if I want. It exhausts me, and by the end we’re sitting on the floor with our backs under the window, nursing a few glasses of wine.
“Did you see a girl when you’re in the bridge? A little girl?” I study Cassidy’s face as I ask the question.
She nods slowly. “Only glimmers. There’s a girl there he keeps under lock and key. Highly secretive about it. I run the bridge, or I thought I did, with him and he wouldn’t even let me in to see her. Who is she?”
“Molly,” I whisper her name like if I say it too loud she’ll just up and disappear.
“Your sister.” Cassidy’s eyes widen. “Is she really my grandmother?”
“One day, if we fix this mess.” I throw my empty Styrofoam cup at my feet. “Here, Molly has memories of other timelines. She knew something happened to my dad when you killed him even though no one else did.”
Cassidy sucks on her bottom lip and I’m
sorry my words hurt her. “I don’t know…I mean, Cameron always spoke about someone having the gift, as he called it. One that could hold knowledge of the past and the future, spot anomalies. He said a person like that, an organic as he called it, would be even better than a computer. Computers can be fixed, things can be deleted. People are just…”
“People.” I lean my head back against the window and sigh. “But how can something he’s doing to one Molly effect the one here?”
Cassidy shrugs. “It doesn’t, I mean, not really. Molly, as you call her, is what Cameron calls the organic. She’s an organic time traveler. In you, it was unlocked, so I’m told. For Molly, it’s unlocked when she goes through puberty.”
I thought of thirteen-year-old Molly. She definitely was maturing in all the ways a girl turns into a woman. But if ten-year-old Molly can blink when time is frozen, does that mean it started even when the most basic of hormones surged?
“Cameron, he wants to unlock it early. That’s why he’s been experimenting on the younger Molly. He wants to use the one from this timeline.”
“Why?” I ask in horror and then it hits me. “To punish me. Then we need to act fast and keep her safe. I can’t save my father only to lose my sister.”
“If we can assume control of the bridge—.”
I hold up a hand to stop her. “Baby steps. First, we need to go back in time so Cameron never realizes you were missing. We go back to the night I took you, and carry on like none of this ever happened.”
Cassidy stands and I stand beside her. “I’m ready if you are, but Lara? What about your dad? How can I keep up an act with Cameron if—what do we do about your dad?”
A sinking realization hits me and I sway on my feet. Cassidy grips my arm to steady me. Deep sadness and longing take hold in my belly. “You’re going to need to kill him.”
Chapter Twenty-Eight
We go back to the night I kidnapped Cassidy. I slam into my body and everything is still frozen. Cassidy is frozen in an attack, lunging for me with her electrical batons. I re-position her hands so when she flies back into motion, she won’t kill me accidentally.
