“I thought so too, but she’s enjoying her time here too. Can’t say that it’s her favorite spot, but she doesn’t hate it.”
“Thinking of moving back here permanently?” Jerry asked.
“You never know what the future holds. Who would’ve thought I’d be living in a place where my closest neighbors were cows?” Kenneth laughed.
Sure as hell not me.
He and Kenneth hung out a lot more when Kenneth lived in Boston. They had some good times over the years, going out to clubs and meeting women. Kenneth was tied down now, and even though Shanda wasn’t with him, what they could do tonight was limited.
“Since you’re here alone, did you want to see if the others wanted to get together?” Jerry asked.
“We all just saw each other Thursday.”
“It’s not like I was suggesting we invite Mother,” he laughed.
“If I were you, I’d avoid her for a while. She was on a roll.”
When isn’t she? “Please tell me I wasn’t the topic the entire night.”
“Nope.”
“Good,” Jerry said.
“Reanna picked up the slack. She’s lucky she didn’t show. Mother would’ve dragged her off and asked her a million questions. It was bad enough that Shanda had to fill in.”
“You could’ve put an end to it,” Jerry said. “The party was for you and Shanda, after all.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me. Why would I want the focus back on me?”
“Because you felt bad for your big brother,” he said, arching a brow.
Kenneth chuckled. “Not that bad. Besides, you weren’t there to listen to it. I’m surprised Mother didn’t ask Shanda if she’d consider us having a double wedding.”
“Maybe I don’t want to hang out with you tonight,” he said. This conversation was beginning to piss him off.
“Why? Can’t be apart from Reanna for one night?” Kenneth teased.
“We don’t spend all our time together, if that is what you’re referring to. I have my life and she has hers.” I just wish I could see more of her.
Kenneth leaned back in his chair and said, “So you’re not that interested in her? Because I got the impression you were more than just having dinner over there. I’d like to think that if you were out just screwing around, you wouldn’t have picked one of Shanda’s friends.”
“Since when did my personal life become any of your business?” he asked angrily.
“When it could hurt someone close to us. I’m not judging you, Jerry. Hell, until I met Shanda, I was doing the same. But these women are unique. They’re special. And they sure in fuck aren’t used to dealing with assholes like us. If you care about Reanna, like I think you do, you’re going to need to change your game.”
“I don’t play games,” he answered.
It’s a metaphor, and you know it. And for the record, you might not be playing a game, but I’m not sure you’re taking it seriously, either. Like what are your—”
“Don’t fucking ask me what my intentions are,” he snapped.
Kenneth didn’t blink an eye. “I remember that not too long ago you were giving me shit about Shanda. I think your words to me had been something like I need to get my head out of my ass.”
“That was different,” he growled.
“Yes, it was. It was you lecturing me. I prefer it this way,” Kenneth said.
“I mean the situation is not the same at all,” Jerry said.
“Let me see. I’m a guy. Shanda’s a girl. You’re a guy, Reanna’s a girl. Oh, yeah, I was denying my feelings and so are you. Seems about the same so far.”
“You’re an ass,” Jerry said.
“And once again another similarity,” he responded. “But I didn’t wait too long to let Shanda know how I felt. Just checking if you’re that smart.”
“I’m smart enough not to continue this conversation,” Jerry said flatly. “Your choices are we go out for a beer, or you can just leave. Either works for me.”
“Ornery. Definitely a sign that you’re missing her,” he said.
“My fist making contact with your jaw is a sign that you’ve pushed your luck,” Jerry snarled. It was true; he was grumpy as all hell. He could tell himself that it wasn’t because he was in Boston and Reanna was home in her bed, without him. But they needed time away from each other. If he wasn’t careful, it’d become a routine, one he wasn’t looking for.
“Jerry, we’ve never had a problem saying what was on our minds. I’m not saying you need to run out and ask her to marry you. What I am trying to say is, you need to think about what you want. She’s not the type of woman you sleep with then just walk away from. She’s going to get hurt if you do.” Kenneth got up from the couch and said, “Maybe you two spending the night apart is a good thing. It will either show you how much you miss each other, or how much you prefer your freedom.”
“You don’t know where Reanna and I stand,” he said.
Kenneth nodded. “I’m not so sure you do either. I’m going to my penthouse and calling Shanda before she goes to bed.”
“Don’t want that beer?” he asked.
“I think you have things you need to think about. Best done alone.” Kenneth walked over to the elevator door and said, “Jerry, we were brought up to think that love is a weakness. It’s not. Fighting it is.”
When Kenneth was gone, Jerry walked over to the bar and pulled out a bottle of Bourbon. He didn’t need Kenneth to tell him he was missing Reanna. Her scent lingered and the taste of her was etched in his memory. It was his decision to come to Boston. He could’ve asked her along. Or he could’ve spent the night in Hope Valley again. Neither happened.
Reanna never even questioned him. She just told him she’d see him later. It was very possible she wanted her space, or just wanted a good night’s sleep. Why was Kenneth making it out to be all about him?
If she wanted me to stay again, she could’ve asked.
That was the problem. He had no idea what she wanted. He’d tried to apologize for what he’d said, and she didn’t want to discuss it. Actually, she insisted they just drop it. That was the easiest thing to do, but he didn’t understand why she didn’t want to talk it out.
What the fuck is wrong with me? When did I start wanting to talk? He downed the contents of his glass and poured another. She was giving him what he wanted, or at least what he used to want. Now it didn’t seem like enough. Jerry wanted to know more about her, yet she seemed resistant to sharing. He knew about her growing list of fears, but what about her hopes and dreams for the future? She must have those as well.
Jerry knew he wasn’t going to learn them from here. He also wasn’t going to drive back to Hope Valley after telling her he needed to be in Boston to get some work done.
They might not know much about each other, but he wasn’t one who lied. He slammed the glass on the bar and headed for his laptop. If he wasn’t going to spend the night figuring out what he wanted with Reanna, he might as well accomplish something productive.
The hours went by and as he read what he wrote, he knew it was garbage. Where was his fight, the edge he usually had? Even on paper, people knew he wasn’t to be messed with. This email sounded more like he was a Boy Scout who played by the rules.
Deleting the email and files, he closed his laptop, grabbed the entire bottle of Bourbon, and headed for bed. He knew sleep wasn’t going to come on its own. It needed a bit of help.
By his third glass, he was very relaxed, but not asleep. What the fuck? Jerry reached for his cell phone and hoped he’d missed a text or a call. Nothing. How can she sleep without me there?
If she wasn’t going to say goodnight, then it was up to him. She had the night off, so there was no problem calling. The worst thing he could do was wake her. He dialed the number and it rang four times before going to voicemail. He never noticed her to put the phone on silent, but she could be in the shower, or maybe it was in another room.
Call me back honey. I want to hear
your voice.
While he waited, he emptied two more glasses and finally passed out. Even that wasn’t enough to erase her from his mind, as her laughter and smile haunted him in his dreams.
Reanna. I don’t know what I’d do without you. Talk to me. Tell me your feelings. Maybe then I’ll understand my own.
Chapter Nine
Reanna didn’t pick up the extra shift because she couldn’t say no. After her talk with Shanda yesterday, she realized that she didn’t need to accommodate everyone. It was okay to put herself first at times.
When Jerry said he was staying the night in Boston, the last thing she wanted was to spend her night tossing and turning, missing him. With nothing good to watch on television, it seemed like fate when a fellow officer called out sick. If she was going to be awake anyway, might as well be making some money.
She’d meant to text Jerry and let him know, but for the first time in years, she’d left her personal cell phone in her bedroom on the charger. Since she didn’t need it on the job, Reanna never bothered going back for it. It only would’ve been a distraction, anyway.
For the most part, she couldn’t have picked up a better shift. That was, until an hour before it was time to clock out. That’s when it all went to hell.
She responded to a report of a black and white milking cow walking around on Route 95. It hadn’t been milked yet and couldn’t find its way back to the barn. Thankfully, traffic had been light, but still, in the name of safety for all drivers, Reanna had decided to get behind the cow and urge her off the highway. Reanna noticed that part of the fencing had come down. Most likely a tree had fallen on it during the storm the other night. It was a good thing that only one cow had found its way out.
Although she hadn’t looked, if she had to bet money, she’d swear that someone was videotaping the ridiculous fiasco. But the State Police kept any vehicles moving while Reanna continued nudging the cow in the right direction. Everything seemed to be working out just as she had planned. The cow was safe, the drivers were safe, but there was one part of the equation that she’d forgotten.
Reanna had thought one last slap on the rump would’ve sent the cow rushing back to the barn. To her dismay, that wasn’t what occurred. Instead, the cow decided to relieve itself. What seemed like gallons of hot urine had gushed out onto her. Without a change of uniform at the station, she had no choice but to suffer through her own stank. Going straight home wasn’t an option either, so the guys at the station suffered as well while she completed the dreaded report.
Her house never looked better, even though she practically had to drag her butt inside. All she wanted was a hot shower and a few hours of much-needed sleep. Even as she peeled off her still-wet uniform, she debated whether she should just burn the damn thing. But uniforms weren’t free, so she tossed it in the washing machine with double the amount of detergent and freshener the machine called for. What was the worst thing that could happen, the suds overflow out of the machine? If that happened, it’d be a sign to wash the floor as well.
Standing naked in the laundry room, she sniffed her arm and wrinkled her nose. All she could smell was cow. That meant it was her that stunk as well. She reached up and took her hair out of the pinned-up braid she always wore at work. She gave it another sniff, and her eyes rolled in disgust. “I smell worse than the mice did.”
Reanna made a mad dash upstairs. Thankfully, she no longer had any house guests. She didn’t care what Bobby would’ve thought, and Brenda only would’ve spent the next several days laughing at her. But if Jerry had been here, she’d be mortified. There was nothing sexy about this. Hell, he’d probably never touch me again. Since she couldn’t run from herself, she could only hope the smell would wash away.
First thing she did was crank that shower on high. She used just about every scent of soap she had and stayed there until there was no hot water remaining.
Getting out, she wrapped a large bath sheet around her and headed for her bed. Running her hands up her arms, they felt silky soft from all the scrubbing. It was almost as sweet as a spa treatment, but without any of the pampering.
It had been too long since Reanna had splurged on herself like that. She kept telling herself she’d do it again for a special occasion. Like everything in her life, that time just never seemed to come. Because I never make the time.
That was slowly changing now. Instead of running all around helping everyone else when she was off duty, she was spending time with Jerry. He’d planned the most amazing date with the race car, and she was trying to think of something that he might enjoy as well. Would a couple’s massage and spa day work? It sounded perfect. They could relax and have a stress-free and carefree day. But would Jerry actually like that?
She giggled as she remembered how he screamed when she ran her finger up the bottom of his foot. He was big, strong, powerful, and sexy, but also ticklish as heck. That might not be such a perfect date after all. Since Jerry hadn’t mentioned when they were going to see each other next, there was no reason for her to stay awake another moment, trying to plan. Jerry could afford to do anything he wanted himself. What could she do that would be…memorable?
Going to need more than sleep to be able to think of something special for him.
She couldn’t compete with what he could do, but it doesn’t take money to be thoughtful. With any luck, a brilliant idea would reveal itself as she slept.
As she slipped between her cool sheets, Jerry’s scent filled her nostrils. Reanna pulled the pillow from beneath her head, put in on the side of her, and snuggled it tightly. It wasn’t Jerry, but it would have to do. Given how exhausted she was, it was enough too. She never thought she’d think it, but she didn’t even have the energy to make love right now because with Jerry, there was no such thing as a quickie.
Reanna looked one last time at the alarm clock. It was almost eight in the morning. Jerry was probably on his way to the office. She didn’t want to speak for only a second. She wanted to hear how his night had been and tell him to have a good day. She’d also like to find out when they were going to see each other again. All that required time and energy, of which she had none.
She would get back up in a few hours and text him then. Maybe she’d feel more alive and he’d be free to talk.
Closing her eyes, she kicked off the sheet and enjoyed the feel of the ceiling fan blowing down on her still-damp, naked body. Reanna knew sleep wasn’t going to be an issue. She didn’t normally dream, except when she was this tired. She took one final, deep breath, slowly let it out, and drifted off.
Jerry approached her riding the cow, wearing nothing but a cowboy hat. He was tall and muscular, and he looked damn good, even on that. “Shouldn’t you be on a bull?” she asked.
Jerry shook his head. “No. They knock my balls around too much.” He extended a hand to her and said, “Come on. It’s a nice night for a ride.”
She looked at him and shook her head. “Where do you think we’re going to go on a cow?”
“To the drive-in movies,” he replied.
Reanna laughed. “The drive-in?”
“Yup. I’ve never been to one.”
She smiled. “And what makes you think they’ll let us in like that?”
“On a cow?” he asked
“Naked,” Reanna replied.
“I’m not naked; I got my hat.” Jerry held his cowboy hat high up in the air. “I even brought one for you too. But you got to get on first to get it.”
She climbed up on the back of the cow and he handed her a matching hat. Then she wrapped her arms around him, and they were on their way. As they headed to the movies, she saw the red and blue lights flashing behind them.
“This is the police. Pull your cow over,” they ordered over their microphone.
Reanna turned around and there were at least ten patrol cars following them. And worse than that, they were all from her police department.
Reaching up, she pulled her cowboy hat down, trying to cover her face. “I can�
��t let them see me. We have to make a run for it,” she said. She knew better than this. It was against the law to ride a cow on the highway.
Jerry looked over his shoulder at her and said, “Damn, I knew I should’ve taken the hog.”
“A hog? Why? They’re not any faster,” she explained.
“Because pigs can fly but cows can jump over the moon,” Jerry explained in a serious tone.
Reanna asked him, “Then why’d you take the cow?”
“Simple, Reanna. Because I love you to the moon and back. What better way to show you?”
I love you too Jerry.
It was so romantic, and they were the words she’d been longing to hear. But none of it made any sense. Something didn’t feel right. It couldn’t be real. Jerry would’ve rented a space shuttle or something to take her to the moon. Not a cow. That’s just ridiculous.
As she rolled over on the bed and her pillow slipped to the floor, she figured it out. It was just a dream.
She closed her eyes again and let it replay. I’m not ever telling anyone about this. As though the guys at the station didn’t have enough to tease her about, this would be something she’d never live down. There was only one thing about the dream that she didn’t want to forget. He told her he loved her. That was the only thing Reanna wished had been a reality.
Reanna punched the pillow, fluffing it up again. This wasn’t going to be a restful sleep if she was going to be haunted by wacky dreams like that. Why couldn’t it be a hot, erotic dream like normal people have? But there hadn’t been much normalcy in her life lately, so why expect any different just because her eyes were closed?
As she drifted back to sleep, she thought, I don’t think I’m going be able to drink milk for a month without laughing.
Jerry had planned on working all day in Boston, but when he didn’t hear from Reanna in the morning, that changed everything. He knew he hadn’t done anything to piss her off this time, so that only left one thing: something was wrong.
As he pulled into her driveway, he saw her truck parked in its usual spot. He rang her phone again.
Just Trust (The Reluctant Heart Book 2) Page 11
