by Rita Hestand
"I would never leave my wife like that!" Hawk cried.
"You would if you'd have seen them. They were draggin' her by the hair and ripping her clothes off and had raped her time they got out the door with her."
"Lord have mercy!" Jinx took a breath, his face full of anguish.
"We've got to push on Jinx." Hawk informed him.
"What about us?" The men cried.
"We'll leave you some water, and food. That's all we can do for you. I got a family on the east side; I gotta get to them…" Hawk explained.
"It's probably done too late, mister!" The other man hollered.
"I will not accept that!" Hawk nearly screamed and took the mules and started walking.
Jinx followed quietly for a long ways. They didn't stop to rest or eat for a long while.
Finally, Jinx had to complain, "Sorry Hawk, I gotta rest some."
Hawk looked at him and with sullen regret, he nodded. "Alright, for a few hours."
The extreme fear building inside Hawk now was blazing out of control and Jinx knew it. He slept for five hours, and then Hawk pushed them onward. Jinx knew they had to hurry, but he was old and he could only hurry so much.
He was still three or four days from the cabin and his nerves were frayed so badly he was afraid to open his mouth. Anger, hurt, and pure fear ran through his mind now. Never had he loved so, never had he hurt so.
He felt their danger, and it consumed him.
He got to where he wouldn't even talk to Jinx.
A day and a half away, he looked at the old man and realized how hard he had pushed him. How hard fear had pushed him.
"I am sorry. I am out of my head with fear for them, Jinx. But I have wronged you, and I am sorry." Hawk explained as they stopped to eat and drink.
"No need for explanations, Hawk. I understand. That's your family and it's all because of me that you are under this pressure." Jinx felt the strain too.
"No old Pa. I love you too!" Hawk put his hand on his shoulder.
"I know you do son, now let's press on, I'm worried too."
They moved quickly now with some inner strength neither knew they had. And they were almost there when a storm hit and it rained like never before. Hail even came down like nails from the sky.
They couldn't go on, they had to stop.
Hawk finally found a cave and they took shelter.
"Never seen it rain this hard, this time of year." Jinx frowned. "And the hail. This is highly unusual."
"Perhaps it is God that is telling us to slow down…" Hawk said thinking on it. "We will be there late today…"
"Good, that's good." Jinx smiled.
"Yes, and I am a day early, from what I told them." Hawk smiled. "We have made good time and everything is going to be alright now."
Jinx wasn't as sure of that as Hawk, he had a few instincts too, and something told him that things might not turn out the way they hoped. He only hoped he was wrong.
They waited until the rain slackened, and then taking the mules out of the cave with them they trudged onward.
It would be late evening by the time they made it in.
Hawk was counting the minutes until he had Eve in his arms again.
Now that he was nearly home, he knew things were going to be all right.
Chapter Twenty-Three
As they rounded the ridge just down the hill from his place, Hawk saw ashes! Nothing but ashes!
His eyes rounded on the place, like an arrow finding a place to land.
Jinx touched his shoulder. "My God son!"
"It can't be Jinx. It can't!" Hawk cried out in a strangled voice.
"Son, don't panic. Let's check things out, first."
Hawk nodded, but felt it useless.
The closer they got, the more the smoke bothered their noses.
Hawk moved around the yard slowly, a piece of Jane Ann's rag doll lay where the kitchen used to be. He picked it up slowly, his eyes full of tears.
Refusing the tears he wiped his eyes, "I do not know how to handle this kind of pain. Even when I left my folks, it was not this painful. I could stand it. But this…"
"Son, don't do this. We ain't found no bodies yet. If they is gone, we'll find something…" Jinx assured him.
They walked all around the place. There were no bones, no clothes, and no nothing to say people were here, and yet everything they owned was burnt.
Black char coated their clothes as they picked things up to study them, to find a clue.
Hawk finally made a fire and sat in front of it, his head bent his life in shattered pieces.
Jinx finally joined him.
"There's nothin' I can say that will help you boy." Jinx told him.
"Nothing!"
"But somethin' ain't right about all this. In the worst of places, in the biggest battles, there is always some kind of remains…" Jinx assured him. "There ain't nothin' here, boy."
"Maybe they are burnt up. Tortured, who knows what has happened here! Perhaps they are alive, but captives." Hawk cried as tears fell down his cheeks.
"Get hold of yourself boy, you ain't thinkin' straight. Bones don't usually burn." Jinx told him. "And captives, I don't know. Maybe."
"Look at the place, everything in there is gone."
"You can rebuild a house son." Jinx reminded him.
"A house, yes, but not the people in it!" Hawk declared.
"Well, what do you want to do, boy, give up?" Jinx asked frustrated.
Understanding Jinx, Hawk glanced at him. "We'll camp here tonight and tomorrow we'll figure out what we gotta do."
"That's better. Let's eat, and get some rest. Things will look a little better in the morning." Jinx declared.
They had killed a couple of rabbits on the way back and cooked them over a fire.
Hawk glanced up at the arrows still sticking out from the post on the house.
It was easy to see it was Comanche. However, for now, he blanked his mind and ate without tasting anything. He slept without dreaming too. For to dream of his Eve would hurt too much tonight. Tonight all he wanted was the black void of sleep and it came, just that way.
The next morning blue jays woke him as they quarreled in the treetops, along the forest.
His glance slid to the forest now. His brain had started to work a little. What would Bended Knee have done?
Had he any warning he might have tried to get them back to the Shoshone tribe. His spirits began to lift a little. Was there hope?
Jinx hadn't woken yet, he was still asleep and for once Hawk let him. The old man had traveled quickly at his insistence, he deserved a rest.
Then suddenly he heard a noise coming from the direction of the forest. He grabbed his gun and waited until he could see.
And there, coming from the clump of trees at the edge of the forest was Bending Knee, Eve, the children and two other Indians.
Hawk stared for a moment, thinking them an apparition. But when he heard her scream with delight and saw her running for him, he ran up to her then suddenly stopped.
"Are you real? Is it you, or am I dreaming?"
She broke into a smile that curled quickly around his heart.
His hand reached to cup her face as he slowly brought her toward him. "I can't believe you're still alive…" he cried and took her into his arms and kissed her so hard and so long that everyone around them started clearing their throats.
His arms went around her as he lifted his head. "I thought you all dead?" He nearly cried as his lips broke into a slow burning smile.
The kids came and jumped into his arms. He hugged Matthew to him then picked up Jane Ann and cuddled her in his arms, as he looped his arm around Eve.
They all stared suddenly at the burnt out home.
Hawk looked at them and sighed, "We can rebuild a house. I could never rebuild all of you."
They broke out in laughter.
When Jinx woke the kids and Eve surrounded him. "My God, your alive!" Jinx actually jumped up and clapped his ha
nds then hugged them all.
It was a day of celebration. Little Eagle and Bear went to hunt in the woods, they came back soon with a dear and all of them went to work, skinning it and roasting it over an open fire.
Hawk took Eve a ways a way from them all and kissed her once more, his heart soaring at the chance to once more hold her in his arms.
"When I came back and saw the place, and couldn't find anything of anyone, I thought the worse."
"If it hadn't been for Bended Knee and the other two, it might have been. They showed me what I had to do to survive. The Comanche attacked us just before supper and they were using bow and arrows. No one was hurt or even injured from that, but Bended Knee told us that they would eventually use fire arrows and that we would have to flee. He sent us into the forest and we all climbed trees and covered ourselves. We were there several days. I was so sore and stiff I could hardly walk, when I came down from that tree, but I was alive…thanks to them." She smiled.
Hawk stared down into her eyes. "We met some people on the road that had been burnt out of their homes. They told us of their struggles and I feared the worst. Then when we came upon the burnt out cabins, I feared the worst again. I wasn't sure if they'd killed you outright or captured you again. I wasn't thinking too clearly to tell the truth. All I could think about was losing you. My life suddenly meant nothing to me." Hawk admitted.
"I’m alive, my husband…" She beamed at him.
"You're beautiful you know…" he kissed her, his lips going everywhere as she leaned against a tree and his lips bent to take a nipple into his mouth to assure himself she was that real. She leaned her head back, closed her eyes and smiled.
She swooned. "I'm so glad you are home…" She sighed into his arms.
Fixing her clothes, they walked back to the others and from the expression; everyone knew what they had been doing.
"Little Eagle, Bear, I want to thank you for coming. It probably made a lot of difference in your survival."
"The chief sent us, he knew of the Comanche raids."
Jinx nodded, "I told you between Quanah Parker and Mackenzie it's like an all out war right now."
"I hope it ceases soon." Hawk told him.
"Well, there's much work to do. If you men will stay and help us, you can live here, or return to your tribe, but I will pay you for your labor." Hawk told them. "And gladly."
The two men talked it over and nodded, "We will stay."
"Good. Either we can make Bending Tree's house bigger or we can make two more, you decide…"
The two talked it over then told them. "For now, we will live with Bended Tree, if we decide to marry and settle here, we will build our own houses."
"Fair enough," Hawk smiled. "We'll make a regular little village out of it."
"I sure got tired of being in that tree Pa." Matthew said.
"Yes, I'm sure. But it did save you Matthew. You have learned something that can save your life again. You must always remember it."
"I will Pa." Matthew nodded. "But keepin' her quiet was hard." He nodded toward Jane Ann.
Hawk picked Jane Ann up in his arms and lifted her high, she giggled and everyone else laughed.
That night, Hawk knew he couldn't be alone with Eve, but they did curl into each other's arms under a blanket, under the stars. They talked into the night about their plans or their dreams and of how they would rebuild.
Hawk also told her about some of the beliefs of his people and how he had been raised to respect the earth.
"I prayed every night you were gone…" She whispered in his ear.
"I too prayed. But I will admit, I lost hope when we got here. And I gave Jinx a very hard time. It is a wonder he will still speak with me."
"I'm sure he knows you well enough to know how upset you were. He's a good man, and he loves you like a son."
Hawk nodded. "This is true. He is my father…"
"Hawk, will you never make peace with your own family?"
"I do not see that happening. In life, there are many paths to choose. When I chose mine, I realized what I was giving up. My people are a proud people, but they cannot in their minds change. And I have learned one must change."
She nodded. "Can you live with that?"
"Yes, can you?"
She smiled. "I only worry for you, my love."
"Do not worry so much…"
"Did you get Matthew some boots?"
"I will…very soon now. I was thinking maybe we could pay the Shoshone tribe a visit, thank them for all they have done for us. Celebrate being alive! Wouldn't Matthew enjoy that for his birthday? He has many friends there."
"Yes, he'd love it, I’m sure."
"Then I will talk with them and we will plan the trip."
"That's a wonderful idea."
"Hawk," she called.
"Yes, my love."
"You child is very active…would you like to feel?"
"Yes, I would…" He smiled.
She lifted her skirt and put his hand on her belly. He felt it move and his face lit like a lantern. "I wish I could kiss you there…"
She smiled like a fat feline cat and murmured, "Me too, but we will have some time soon. I will make sure of that."
Nevertheless, he was content to just wrap his arms around her and kiss her, for he thought he'd lost her and it broke his heart. He didn't ever want to feel like that again.
They glanced over at the children, but they were both fast asleep. "They learned a lot Hawk, and most of all they learned how glad they were to be alive."
"I learned something too." He admitted.
"What?" She asked as his hand went under her shirt.
"My love for you is greater than anything else in this world. I promise to never leave you behind again. Never!"
She turned toward him, kissed him silly and they went to sleep in each other's arms.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Instead of working, Hawk confronted them with making the trip back to the tribe for Matthew's birthday. Everyone agreed whole-heartedly. Visiting the tribe would be good for everyone. When so much is lost, finding a peace and celebrating ones life became even more important.
The trip only took a little over a day and they would stay there for three days and go home, Hawk decided.
No one argued with that.
Little Eagle went to see his sweetheart as soon as he arrived. Bear caught up to his friends.
Bending Tree hung around Jinx a lot. He wasn't quite as old as Jinx was, but he seemed to enjoy the old man's company and stories he told about the big Red.
The village hadn't changed much, there were many tipis. However, when they came, there was music, food and happy faces everywhere, for there was much celebration.
Hawk again realized how happy he was that Eve and the children were well and alive. If it hadn't been for Bending Knee's wise counsel though, they might not have been. He was ever so grateful.
Jinx had never been in a Shoshone camp and it was a new experience for him. A lot of them spoke English so he could understand them.
The chief informed him that he was an honored guest. It seemed the older people were always honored and there were ceremonies to celebrate it.
Matthew too was happy to come back to the village. He didn't waste any time looking his friends up.
Hawk and Bending Tree found the wood for his flute and Bending Knee spent several hours carving it, and decorating it so he would like his. Then Hawk went to some of the older women of the tribe to ask for some legging boots for Matthew. They smiled and were happy to make him some.
The second night they honored Jinx and Matthew both and presents were given to Matthew.
However, when they found out that Jane Ann would soon have a birthday too, the women worked tirelessly to make her an Indian doll like the one she wanted. Bear and his friends made her a necklace of beads, and feathers and pretty stones.
The next morning they presented Jane Ann with it.
"Lookie Pa, I got an Indian dol
ly!" She declared raising it so everyone could see.
Bear gave her the necklace. "Oh Thank you…" She smiled and leaned over to kiss him on the cheek.
Everyone laughed.
Bending Knee gave Matthew the flute and he was very pleased. They began to practice together. Then the older women of the tribe presented him with the soft moccasin boots. He loved them and put them on, right then. The younger girls of the tribe had made him a beaded necklace with feathers. He was surprised. Hawk noticed that he looked upon the girls now differently.
"He is growing up…" Hawk remarked to Eve.
She saw him talking with a girl. "Yes, he is…"
They gave Jinx and honorary name River Rat for ferrying people over the great Red. Jinx was tickled pink. He made friends with a lot of the elders and they swapped stories too.
Little Eagle had a girl friend and he talked with her about marriage and living with Hawk in his new settlement.
She agreed, so the ceremony was set for the next day to marry them.
Bear had an interest in one of the maidens but it hadn't progressed quite as far yet, but he planted the thought in her head, that she too might join them one day.
It was a lovely visit. They told the chief of their baby coming and how Hawk thought he'd nearly lost Eve. The chief studied for a moment, then gave them the hut they had used for their honeymoon and the older women watched the children for the night.
Hawk and Eve escaped to the tipi that was hidden in the woods.
They made love all night and into early dawn. They also talked, planned, and dreamed.
"I have never loved one as much as you." Hawk told her. "When I thought you dead, I wanted to die too."
"Oh Hawk…we must learn to feel each other through our spirits so we can never be separated again then..."
"You are a wise woman. You have learned much from your Indian education."
"Close your eyes," she said as she leaned over him.
He closed his eyes. She touched his manhood with her hands. "Do you feel me here, now?" She asked in a soothing tone.
"Yes my love…"
She bent to kiss him there.
