“Well… this is unexpected,” King Henry finally said, folding my resignation back up and sliding it onto his desk towards me, as if he was giving me a chance to reclaim it. But there was no way I would take it back, not now. “Are you sure about this?”
I nodded and he sighed, and indicated to one of the chairs. “Please take a seat, Sophie.”
I did, clasping my hands tightly in my lap and willing myself to not break down in front of him this time. He rubbed his temples before looking at me and I saw how the lines around his eyes had deepened, hard folds, creases of time that would never iron out.
“There was no reason or explanation in your letter. Tell me why,” he commanded after a pensive moment. “Be truthful, Sophie. You have nothing to fear in this room.”
I wasn’t going to tell him I was in love with his son, just like I hadn’t told Charlotte of my feelings for her brother. Or that I’d broken a cardinal rule. That would be going too far, even if His Majesty was asking for me to be candid. But then again I couldn’t lie either. I studied my hands in my lap. The edge of my thumbnail looked ragged and I began to worry it. The last thing I wanted to do was come in between whatever plans they had for William. It was not my place. It never would be.
“Sire, His Royal Highness Prince William and I do not enjoy a good working relationship; we are not compatible professionally. And I believe it would be in the Crown’s best interest if he was served by someone more, er, suited to his personality.”
I congratulated myself on getting the words out without dissolving into a puddle of tears. But there, that did it. That explanation would have to do. It did not tell him about the painful ache I had in my chest or the way I cried myself to sleep every night since Will was gone. He would never know. He didn’t need to know. But my reasons were plausible, except for the fact I’d never quit anything in my life before that moment.
“I see,” he said, rubbing his chin. “Well, I am very disappointed to hear that. Of all people that could keep my son in line, I would have bet all of my horses on you, Sophie. But these things happen. You worked wonders with Frederick… but ah, there’s no shame in admitting defeat,” he said and quickly moved on, clearing his throat. “Clashes of personality, as you know, are not that uncommon in this household. We will cope, I’m sure.”
“I’m sorry to let you down, Sire,” I said truthfully.
“You’ll be giving the required two weeks notice,” he finally said, not asking, after a moment.
I nodded, though truthfully I’d been hoping to leave before William ever returned. I wanted to be done with this place now that I’d made my decision and walk away today. But now I knew that my conscience would never allow me to not do as my King wished.
There would be a replacement to train, or at least show the ropes—they’d bring in someone with a vast amount of experience so it wouldn’t be a long stint—perhaps they’d even pull an old secretary out of retirement for a spell, before William would finally choose his own private secretary to be by his side for the duration of his future reign. But if I walked away now, it would leave the entire royal family in a tight bind, maybe even shine the light back onto the scandal that had started to slip down into the shadows, buried under more important recent news trickling in around the world. Especially since they were all talking about Will and Annabelle now, our dance long forgotten, as if it had never even happened. I could suffer another two weeks and dodge the heir in the process and make sure he was out of the office for the maximum amount of time on engagements.
“Of course, Sire. I will make sure the chosen replacement is ready and up to speed.”
“I have a better idea,” the king said, his calculating blue eyes twinkling. He reached for a thick sheet of notepaper that had his personalised monogram embossed at the top of the page. He scribbled a few words on it, the ink pooling as he pressed hard, before handing it over to me.
“The Marchioness of Haven, my aunt Gertrude, is planning an extended visit to Scotland in a few weeks. If you can stand a spot of rain—or should I say more rain—I would like you to supervise the opening up of Morvyn Manor in Inverness. You would need to ensure that everything is in order for her stay, wait for her arrival and be on hand as part of her staff. Temporarily, of course.”
I frowned at the peculiarity of what he was asking. They had people to do those kinds of things already on staff. He must have seen my confusion for he chuckled.
“I know it’s an odd request, but as I’m sure you know we have quite a few public obligations here at the palace in the coming weeks. I need the Master of the Household and all of my staff here, including the outlying properties. You are also needed here, of course, if you would rather stay at the palace, Sophie. I dare say Beresford could find you another position close by should you want it, perhaps even take Princess Charlotte under your wing for a short while?”
I shook my head. Charlotte was a dear, but taking on that role still meant being close to William.
“That is very kind. But this is for the best.” Besides, I didn’t want to be here when Will got back. “I’ll do it, I’ll go to Inverness.” The royal family had given me a wonderful career over the last few years and plenty of good memories. I owed my king this one favour.
“That’s settled then,” he said. “See Beresford on your way out, he’ll give you more information. And the address is on the paper there. Are you sure there isn't anything I can do to change your mind?”
“No,” I said softly, rising from the chair. “I… thank you for everything. It was my greatest pleasure to serve you and yours, Your Majesty.”
“You’ll be missed, Miss Mortimer,” he said kindly, and began to turn his attention back to what had occupied him before I’d come in. “Good luck, Sophie.”
I walked out of the office, and Beresford silently thrust an already prepared thick file wrapped with a silk ribbon into my hands to join the piece of paper that I had clutched there. In my daze I wandered away, but it wasn’t long before I stopped in the corridor, file pressed up against my chest, my eyes wide, realising the king—despite his words of surprise—and his staff had foreseen my resignation and prepared accordingly.
Tears began to well up and I made quick work of getting back to my own office. At least I wouldn’t have to spend my last two weeks here in the palace, and I was thankful to His Majesty for not forcing me to stay even though he had every right to. This way I could be alone for a little while, away from scrutiny, letting my memories of William and our time together fade to black, while also trying to figure out the rest of my life and how one went about healing a broken heart.
Twenty-Three
William
Jet lagged and tired I trudged into my father’s offices as requested. For the last six days I’d done everything he and my mother had demanded of me, preening around Annabelle and more importantly, the not so hidden cameras in an effort to show the world that I was interested in the young woman.
We’d spent plenty of time outdoors walking around the palace gardens as well as in the public eye, attending social functions in my family’s honour, accompanying her on some charitable visits, all the while thinking of Sophie. And how I’d acted foolishly the last time I’d seen her.
There was not a moment that had gone by that I hadn’t thought of Sophie. The funny thing was I think Annabelle figured it out, noticing my lack of attention. Eventually Annabelle seemed to lose interest in me towards the end of the trip and had even commented that I wasn’t anything like Frederick. To be honest I think she was disappointed that I wasn’t an exact carbon copy of him. Though as her lack of enthusiasm as the days in each other’s company went by dwindled, that didn’t mean I was off the hook. Colder royal marriages had been made.
When I’d left early in the morning, she’d failed to appear, finding sleep more appealing than coming to see me off… which was fine by me. We were like two kids forced to play with each other by our meddling parents. A royal play date, I thought with a bitter laugh. It ha
d been painful and I hoped that by the end of the day we’d hear news from her father, calling to renege on the arrangement. But I wasn’t holding out much hope. The Prince of Monaco had his sights on a good match for his daughter.
My father sat with an old book in his lap and his eyes followed me as I collapsed into one of the chairs before his desk.
“I see you made it back in one piece. Now that wasn’t so hard, was it?” he said, closing the book and removed his reading glasses. “How was your trip?”
“Draining and unproductive,” I said honestly, knowing he’d been receiving daily reports detailing my progress and every tiny bit of minutiae from his spies. And there had been no attempts at bending the truth either, not that his assistant private secretary could be bribed to do such a thing. But there had been no real need anyway. I was willing to play ball in order to keep Sophie’s reputation in good standing. I had done everything to a tee, charming the pants off all and sundry, no matter what their station.
“I did everything you asked. If not more. Went above and beyond if you bloody well ask me.”
“So I heard. I’m proud of you,” he said, though his tone remained neutral. Nothing seemed to please him, I thought with a slight shake of my head. He reached into his desk drawer. “I have something for you.”
“Great. Another assignment where I bend over and take it up the—”
“William,” he growled, not amused.
“What is it then? Nothing good by the look on your face.”
I watched as he removed a single sheet of paper and handed it to me. I took it and unfolded the creamy stationary, immediately recognising Sophie's signature near the bottom.
I regret to inform you that I will be resigning my position as the Royal Private Secretary effective immediately.
There was more. Placations and veiled excuses.
This was my doing.
I traced her name that was elegantly scrawled at the bottom with my fingertip then turned it over, desperately hoping that was more on the other side. Such a small paragraph for what she’d told me was her dream job.
“That’s it? But…” I trailed off, still aghast that she’d given up her career and angry that he’d let her. “You swore to protect her job. I did everything you asked.”
My father shrugged. “I can’t protect what she no longer wants. She came to me, William. I had no thoughts of sacking her, not when you were holding up your end of the bargain. She will be missed. Truly, she will. Sophie was one of our best. Part of a legacy of women that have served our family for generations.”
The letter crumpled in my fist as the fury built inside me. I should have stopped by my own office before coming here, I thought. At least then I would have known that she was gone, wouldn’t have been so blindsided by her actions. But then again, it was my own fault. I shouldn’t have left in the first place. Should’ve stuck to my guns and fought for what I wanted. But she’d refused to acknowledge what was between us… didn’t want to give us a chance. Didn’t want to be a royal mistress on the side, in the shadows.
If only she’d begged me not to go to Annabelle. Instead she’d taken a step back and practically pushed me out the door into her arms. All out of sodding duty.
Now she was gone. Duty, no doubt winning that battle in her head again, convincing herself that it was the right thing to do.
I’d lost her.
Panic welled up inside me, almost choking the breath from my lungs as I realised I might never see her again. Especially if she decided to cut all ties.
“This is all your doing,” I spat at my father.
“Perhaps. But by the look on your face I think you’ll be pleased to know that I didn’t just let her walk away.”
I stared at him. A tiny beacon of hope pulsed within my battered heart. Was he playing with me? Seeing if he could break me by dangling my dream before me?
“What do you mean?” I asked carefully, trying to keep my tone even.
Before he could answer, the queen waltzed into the room without knocking. Mum was notorious for barging in without being invited, but she saw it as her right. She was, after all, the Queen of England. Mum had a broad smile on her face. That wasn’t good.
“William! You’re back. I missed you. How was it? Should I start organising the wedding of the century? It’s about time the country had something good to celebrate.”
“Beatrice, wait,” my father interrupted, his words sharp. Her smile faded as she looked at us both.
“Are you two fighting again? For once can’t we all just get along? Why does there always have to be drama? Anyone would think we lived like those on Eastenders!”
“We are not fighting,” he answered slowly. “We are discussing William’s future.”
“Oh good, one of my favourite topics,” she said and sat in the chair next to mine, her eyes sparkling and her smile reappearing again. It was bittersweet and I was dumbstruck. I was, of course, very glad to see that the shadows under her eyes brought on by heartache and loss were fading. It seemed that life was moving forward and she was recovering. But the price of that smile and the joy that was almost fizzing off of her like bubbles of Champagne would be at my expense.
“I saw the reports, William. You were perfect. We could not have asked for it to go any better than it did. Annabelle is such a perfect match for you. And she will make a wonderful queen some day… and mother,” she said as she lowered her voice to a conspiratorial and almost giddy whisper. I half expected her to give me a sly nudge and wink the way she was acting.
But I knew I had to nip this in the bud right away. I couldn’t let my mum get her hopes up any further.
“I’m not going to marry Annabelle,” I said clearly so there would be no misunderstanding. Internally I winced as I watched her smile fade. “Nor do I think she really wants to marry me anymore either.” It had been quite awkward by the end of the week, I thought thinking back to what seemed like a lifetime ago now.
“What?” she asked, looking at my father. “This can’t be right. What of our plans? I won’t allow it.”
To my surprise the king silenced her with a look, a glacial glare that could bring forth another ice age. “You won’t allow it? I will say what we will and won’t allow. And for now I believe we need to have a rethink. Give William some time. There’s no need to rush. In fact it might be best, politically and emotionally, if we draw the courtship out. Let William and Annabelle acclimatise to the idea.”
“Acclimatise? We’re not talking about weather systems, Henry! Life is short, we might as well strike while the iron is hot and—”
“Enough!” my father said.
I had been about to jump in myself but was glad he had instead. Cautious too, wondering why he was all of a sudden on my side. He hadn’t been before.
“Like I said, we need to rethink this whole thing. Put it on hold. Just for a little while at least. And while William gave it his best shot and they got on relatively fine, we do have time, Beatrice.”
My mum didn’t look very excited at that prospect. I expect she was eager to sink her teeth into a project, and what better than a huge wedding? But my father had laid down the law. Perhaps he was finally seeing how unreasonable their request was in this day and age. I would do a lot of things, but marrying a stranger or someone who I cared not one jot for, well that I drew the line at. Besides, the only reason I’d gone anyway was because they’d threatened Sophie's position and reputation. Now they had no leverage. Though I was still on the losing side with her being gone and all.
“Fine,” my mum finally said with a scornful sigh. “We’ll rethink it.”
“That’s right, we will,” my father replied, giving my mum a half-hearted smile. “We have to consider William’s happiness.”
“Well, of course we do,” she sniffed, some of the tension in her face softening as she looked at me. “I’m sure we’ll find you someone else if Annabelle wasn’t up to snuff. Just leave it to me. I just want to make sure that you’re taken care
of, dear. I can’t bear the thought of you not being settled before I…”
She looked away for a moment, all choked up.
“Before you what?” I asked and took her hand.
“Well, before I kick the bucket. I worry so much that I won’t be around to make sure you’re ok. Especially with all those stupid stunts you pull. You need someone to ground you. Otherwise you’ll just float right off…”
“Mum, I’m not going anywhere. And neither are you,” I said, giving her a smile and squeezing her hand. “And I promise I won’t do anything rash.”
“Oh sure,” she said with a note of disbelief. “You’ve said that before.”
“This time I mean it. I’ll take a step back and refrain from putting my life in danger anymore. Unless it’s for charity,” I quickly added. While I would miss the things I loved to do for the thrill, I really didn’t need them any longer. My parents had been right. They had been part of a life I couldn’t just jump right back into. My path was moving in a different direction. It was only missing one piece. “Under one condition.”
“I knew there would be a catch,” my mum muttered, shaking her head.
I ignored her disapproval and locked eyes with my father.
“Where is she?”
Twenty-Four
Sophie
I stood in the small kitchen garden of Morvyn Manor, breathing in the slightly damp air and with it all the clarity I needed. Coming here had not only put physical distance between me and Will but mental distance too. I was still thinking about him, of course. But up here, away from the big city and scrutiny, I felt like I was able to get a better grasp on my jumbled up, confused thoughts. I was surrounded by all the space I could ever need to make a start on getting my life back on track and in order.
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