by Radclyffe
“You will be careful, won’t you?”
Deo moved a step closer. “Is that what you drove over here to say?”
Nita’s thighs trembled and she backed up a step until her back touched the wall. “I just…the house…I just wanted to—” She shivered as Deo braced both arms against the wall by her shoulders and snugged her pelvis into Nita’s. “Oh, don’t.”
“You say no to me a lot,” Deo murmured, drawing her lips along the edge of Nita’s jaw. “Why is that?”
“Because, because…” Nita turned her head and covered Deo’s mouth with hers. She slicked her tongue over Deo’s lips and just as quickly pulled away. “Because I usually want to say yes.”
“You know,” Deo rasped, flexing her thighs and rubbing her crotch over Nita’s, “that doesn’t make any sense.”
Nita stroked Deo’s cheek. “I know. I’m sorry.”
Deo rested her forehead against Nita’s and slowly shook her head. “Don’t be sorry. Just don’t run away from me.”
“I’m afraid,” Nita whispered.
“I know.” Deo kissed her, gently. “So am I.”
“Can’t we just keep it simple?” Nita implored, digging her fingers into Deo’s shoulders. She loved her muscles, how strong she was, and how tender despite it.
“Simple.” Deo pressed closer, fusing her belly and breasts to Nita’s. Her mouth was against Nita’s ear, her lips hot and silky. “You mean simple like...just sex.”
Nita leaned her head back and closed her eyes, hoping if she couldn’t see Deo she might be able to think clearly. In the next instant, she realized how foolish that was, because with her eyes closed all she could do was feel, and Deo was pressed against her, her body hot and hard and demanding. “I don’t know what I mean anymore.”
Deo let out a long sigh. “Good. That’s good. That’s a place to start from.”
Nita laughed shakily and opened her eyes. “Now who isn’t making sense?”
“Why did you tell me this morning that you didn’t want anything from me except a fuck now and then?”
Deo’s words sounded as if they were forced out through ground glass, and Nita knew that she had hurt her. Her fingers shook as she pushed them through Deo’s hair. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to use you.” Nita imagined how it must seem to Deo, because she knew how diminished she had felt when Sylvia had come to her for sex but wouldn’t allow her anything else. “God, Deo, I’m so sorry.”
“Answer the question,” Deo whispered. “What are you so afraid of?”
Nita turned her face away. She couldn’t answer that question, because if she did, she’d have to face what it meant, and she wasn’t ready. “I can’t.”
“I’m not going to sleep with you again until you tell me. It might drive me crazy, but I mean it.” Deo gently turned Nita’s face back to hers and kissed her, a deep slow possessive kiss. “I think about you all the time. I want you right now. Inside me. I want to fuck you and come inside you.”
Nita groaned. “Stop.”
“Sorry. I can’t.” Deo tilted her head, listening to the rain drum against the wood-covered windows. “I’ve got to get back to work. Something big is coming.”
Before Deo could disappear, Nita gripped her shirt. “I don’t know when I’ll see you again. Will you call me? I can’t…I can’t think, I can’t work if I don’t hear from you.” She bunched Deo’s work shirt in her fists and pressed her forehead to Deo’s shoulder. “God, I hate this.”
“Hey, hey, it’s okay.” Deo lifted Nita’s face with her fingers beneath her chin. “Nita, I’m not going anywhere. You can talk to me anytime you want. Just call me.”
“Could it be that easy?”
“We’ll have to see, won’t we?” Deo kissed her again, gently, and backed away. “Drive carefully.”
Nita let her get all the way across the room before she called after her. “I lied this morning. I want to see you. Just…see you.”
Deo looked over her shoulder. “Then I’ll find you.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
Nita sat with Tory and the disaster response coordinators in a small stuffy room in Town Hall. Someone had closed the tall narrow windows against the heavy rain that now fell in unbroken sheets, and with only fans to move the heavy air around, she felt like she was breathing wet cotton wool. She could barely remember everyone’s names. It was after eleven, she’d seen patients for over twelve hours on not much sleep the night before, and she was worried. Worried about the impending storm and what it meant for the community, worried that she and Tory might not be able to handle a full scale natural catastrophe even with the help of the highly skilled local EMTs and paramedics, and worried about Deo. Deo hadn’t called, and when Nita had finally broken down and tried her office number around nine p.m., her call had been forwarded, but she hadn’t reached Deo.
“Camara Construction.”
“Hello, this is Nita Burgoyne. Is Deo around?”
“Oh, hey Nita…I mean, Dr. Burgoyne…it’s Joey. Last I heard from her she was still out on the harbor, tendering people in from their boats. The sea’s already too rough for people to ride this out on board.”
“How long will she be out?”
“Dunno. Quite a while yet, I figure, and then tomorrow she’s got a list of places that need their windows shuttered. Going to be a crazy few days.”
“Yes,” Nita said absently, wondering when Deo would sleep. She worried that Deo was doing difficult work in dangerous weather when she had to be exhausted. Would she be careful on the water, the water that held such pain for her?
“She’ll be checking in soon. You want her to call you?”
“No. No…just tell her I called.”
“Sure. Hey…you want her cell phone number? She doesn’t always get the calls out there, so you might get relayed right back to me—”
“That’s not necessary, thanks. Sorry to bother you, I know you must be busy.”
“No problem. Uh, hey, Nita. I was wondering…”
“Problem with your hand?”
“No. Pia said I’m doing great. I was just wondering if you’d like to have dinner some night. You know…with me.”
It took Nita a minute to decipher what he’d said, because she didn’t register his meaning at first. Then, she struggled for the right thing to say. “Joey, that’s really nice of you, but I don’t think so. Thank you, though.”
“Yeah, that’s okay. Deo said you wouldn’t go for it.”
“Did she.” Nita wondered just when and what Deo and Joey had discussed about her.
“But what the heck, if you don’t try you’ll never know what you might be missing, right?”
“Right,” Nita said slowly. “You’re absolutely right.”
Now, more than two hours later, Nita still hadn’t heard from Deo. She hoped Deo wasn’t still ferrying people back and forth in the harbor. Growing more desperate by the minute just to hear Deo’s voice, she nevertheless made mental notes on the plans being discussed. Deo was doing her job, and Nita needed to do hers.
“Reports from the head of the business bureau indicate that most of the tourists have already left or will be leaving in the morning,” Reese said to the group. “If the forecast hasn’t changed by midday tomorrow, we’ll order a mandatory evacuation of all nonresidents. That should give everyone time to get off the Cape even though we anticipate travel times could be close to twelve hours. That still gives us a twenty-four-hour window before the big winds and surf get here.”
Someone who Nita thought might be the head of the town council gathered up a pile of papers and said, “Then I think we’ve done everything we can for the moment. Let’s reconvene tomorrow morning at eleven for an update.”
Tory turned to Nita as the other members in the room began to leave. “I’ve had Randy block out tomorrow afternoon for urgent patients. I can come to this meeting if you want to run out to Beech Forest in the morning and see how many residents are staying.”
“That’s fine. I’m
available if you need me sooner.”
“Great, thanks. You should try to get some sleep while you can.”
“Yes,” Nita said, even though sleep was not what she wanted. She bid Tory and the others good night and fortified herself for the short walk to her car.
Outside, the night was moonless, and shards of rain slanted beneath the inadequate cover of her umbrella and battered her face. Giving up on the hope of remaining dry, Nita slammed her umbrella closed and made a run for it. Once inside the car, she looked toward the harbor, wondering where Deo was. The visibility was so poor she couldn’t see anything at all. Frustrated, she started her car, but instead of heading toward home, she drove in the opposite direction toward Deo’s condo. The parking space in front of Deo’s unit was empty and Nita pulled into the adjoining spot.
“Five minutes,” Nita whispered. “I’ll just wait for five minutes, and if she doesn’t come home, I’ll call her again in the morning.”
When she realized she was staring at her watch, Nita tilted her head back and closed her eyes, trying not to silently count the seconds.
*
As Deo jumped from her truck and made a dash for her condo, she heard a car door open and close nearby. Surprised that anyone was out in the middle of the night in the worst weather she could ever remember, she slowed and peered through the rain. A second later, she recognized Nita. Her swift surge of pleasure was almost immediately replaced by concern.
“Jesus, Nita,” Deo yelled, grabbing Nita’s arm and pulling her under the shelter of the short roof that protected her front door. “What the hell are you doing out here? It’s four in the morning!”
“I just stopped by to see if you were all right. I guess I fell asleep.” Chilled from her sudden soaking, she cuddled closer to Deo as Deo fumbled with the lock. “I should go so you can get some sleep.”
Deo pushed the door open and tugged Nita inside. She kicked the door closed with her foot, grasped Nita’s shoulders, and kissed her hard. “Don’t be crazy. You’re not going anywhere.”
Nita automatically wrapped her arms around Deo’s shoulders and kissed her back. “You’ve got to be beyond exhausted. Everything has just gotten so crazy so fast, I wasn’t sure when I would be able to see you again.” She hugged Deo closer. “Now I have. That’s enough.”
“Maybe it is for you,” Deo murmured, kissing Nita’s neck. “But it isn’t for me. I need a shower to get warm, and then I want to crawl into bed with you.”
Nita leaned back and smiled fleetingly. “What happened to your mandate about no sex?”
“I didn’t say anything about sex.”
“Good, because you’re going to sleep.” Nita grasped Deo’s hand, guided by instinct and too tired to think of all the reasons she shouldn’t be doing what she was about to do. She wasn’t just tired—she was frightened, she was cold, and she was lonely. Life had turned upside down in twenty-four hours, and the one solid point in her universe was Deo. “Would you mind very much if I shared your shower?”
Deo shot her a glance. “Do I look dead to you?”
“No,” Nita replied throatily, “you look…delicious.”
“Cut it out,” Deo said unconvincingly.
Nita laughed. “Say that like you mean it.”
“I can’t.”
“Good.”
When they reached the bathroom and Deo began shedding her clothes, Nita realized she’d made a mistake. What Deo needed was a hot shower and as much sleep as she could get. And Nita couldn’t even look at her without wanting to touch her. She backed toward the door.
“On second thought, I’ll skip the shower for now.”
Naked, Deo reached around her and held the door closed with her hand. Her body pressed against Nita’s. “Take your clothes off.”
“Deo—”
“Do it, Nita,” Deo whispered and moved in for a kiss.
“You said you weren’t going to have sex with me.” Trembling, Nita turned her head away so that Deo’s kiss only caught the corner of her mouth. “This is cruel.”
“You don’t like the way you feel right now?”
Drawing a shaky breath, Nita shook her head back and forth. “I don’t like wanting you so badly it hurts and knowing I can’t have you.” She turned her head back, struggling not to cup Deo’s breasts in her hands. “I’m trying to give you what you want. You said you didn’t want it to be just about sex.”
“What do you want, Nita?” Deo held still even though she wanted to rub herself over Nita’s body. “Forget about me and what I want or what you think I want you to be. Just say what it is you want.”
The silence grew until the air felt so heavy Nita didn’t think she could pull it into her lungs. Her heart raced and her chest ached. She couldn’t remember the last time she thought about what she wanted instead of what she couldn’t have and shouldn’t desire and didn’t dare dream of.
“Tell me,” Deo said, her eyes boring into Nita’s, her mouth just a breath away from closing over Nita’s.
“I want…” Nita shuddered and gripped Deo’s arms. Deo’s skin was so hot she felt feverish. “I want to make love with you and not be afraid you’ll be gone as soon as you come. I want to see you on the street and not have you pretend you don’t know me. I want…god, I want…”
“Go ahead,” Deo whispered. “You can say it.”
“I want not to hate how much I want you.”
“Do you?” Deo inched away until their bodies didn’t touch, but she cradled Nita’s cheek in her hand, still watching her eyes. “Do you hate wanting to make me come?”
“No,” Nita said breathlessly.
“Do you hate wanting me inside of you, making you come?”
Beyond words, Nita shook her head.
“Are you afraid of me?”
Nita closed her eyes. The intensity in Deo’s face made it impossible for her to think. She was turning liquid inside, her bones were melting. She felt so exposed it was as if she had no skin. She almost expected to look down and see rivulets of blood collecting around her feet.
“Nita,” Deo murmured. “Nita, are you afraid of me?”
“No, God, no.”
Wordlessly, Deo unbuttoned Nita’s blouse. Then she reached around her and released her bra, gently baring her breasts. She kissed her as she opened her slacks and pushed them down along with her panties. “Let’s shower.”
While Deo turned on the water and the room filled with steam, Nita removed her shoes and the rest of her clothes. The shower was small and when she stepped inside she couldn’t help but touch Deo. “I suggest we make this fast, or I can’t be responsible for what happens.”
Deo grinned as she lathered her body with a bar of soap. “What happened to that great self-control?”
“I lost it somewhere after the second time you rubbed your breasts over me.” Nita refused to look down, because if she saw any more of Deo than her face, she was going to drop to her knees and take her right there. “Give me the soap.”
“I have to be back out there in about three hours.” Deo swirled soapy circles over her breasts and belly with both hands. “I’ve been keyed up all night, because of everything that’s going on and because when I wasn’t too busy to see straight, I thought about making love with you.”
Nita turned her back so she couldn’t touch her. “The shower will relax you and you’ll be able to sleep.”
“I need to come first. If you weren’t here, I’d fantasize about you and masturbate.”
“God,” Nita moaned. “Stop it.”
Deo pressed against Nita’s back. “You can watch me or you can let me fuck you.”
Nita leaned forward and braced her arms against the shower wall, the tension in the pit of her stomach so profound she wasn’t sure she could keep standing. “If I let you come inside me, will you go to sleep then?”
“Yes,” Deo grated, thrusting against Nita’s ass.
“Well, seeing as how it’s therapeutic.” Nita pivoted, but immediately pushed Deo awa
y with both hands on Deo’s shoulders. “Go get ready. I’ll be there in a minute.”
“It’s what you want?”
Nita kissed her softly and ran her fingers through her hair. “Yes. It’s exactly what I want.”
Deo stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel on her way out of the bathroom. Nita took her time drying off, enjoying the novel feeling of not needing to hurry, of not fearing that if she didn’t grab every ounce of pleasure just as quickly as possible, it would all disappear like mist at sunrise. She was excited, her skin so sensitive it was almost painful to touch. She was wet and swollen, and she throbbed with the persistent ache of desire. Her arousal felt wonderful, and it was beyond wonderful to set it free.
Nita wrapped a towel around her breasts and joined Deo in the bedroom. A single light burned on the far side of the bed, illuminating Deo as she lay on her side, a sheet pulled up to her waist, her head propped in her hand as she watched the door. She smiled as Nita approached.
“I thought you might fall asleep,” Nita said, letting the towel fall.
“Not likely,” Deo said, lifting up the sheet.
Nita slid beneath it and reclined on her side, facing Deo. She traced the circles beneath Deo’s eyes. “Sweetheart, you’re so tired.”
“I need you,” Deo whispered. “More than anything.”
When Deo inched closer to kiss her, Nita felt a firm weight settle against her thigh and caught her breath. As she drew Deo’s tongue into her mouth, she caressed Deo’s side and the curve of her hip until she reached her knee. Then she skimmed her fingers up the inside of Deo’s leg until she closed her fingers around the cock nestled between Deo’s legs. She pushed her tongue deeper into Deo’s mouth and slowly rotated her wrist.
Deo groaned and pushed her hips forward.
“Don’t be in a hurry,” Nita whispered, kissing Deo’s throat. She kept up the motion of her hand, a steady, rhythmic push and pull. Deo’s breath shivered in and out and Nita clenched inside. “I love to excite you.”
“You’re making me a lot more than excited. I’m so pumped.” Deo jerked and thrust into Nita’s fist.
