by Dakota West
Instead of answering, Olivia looked up and into the barn. There was a temporary wooden floor, and people in flannel shirts and cowboy boots were holding hands, spinning around and laughing, then switching partners and doing it again.
In front was a man wearing both a denim shirt and jeans. A huge belt buckle divided the two denim regions of his body as he chanted dance steps to the dancers. Behind him were a fiddler and a banjo player.
It looked like fun.
“No,” Olivia said.
She took another deep breath, clenching her jaw against the wolf scent that made her head spin, but inhaling anyway.
“I want to go. I’m okay.”
These are different wolves, she reminded herself. How angry would I be if someone generalized about bears?
“I don’t mind taking you home,” Austin said. “I swear.”
“Fifteen minutes,” Olivia said. “If I’m having a bad time in fifteen minutes, we’ll go.”
Austin smiled.
“Okay,” he said.
Olivia walked into the barn, her palms still sweaty. The inside was much warmer than the outside, a welcome respite from the cool air outside, and she took a moment, looking around.
The two of them made their way over to a seating area of some sort, though it was really nothing more than hay bales scattered to give the appearance of seating.
I guess this is country living, Olivia thought, sitting on one. The spikes of hay stuck through her jeans a little, making the backs of her thighs itch. Hay bales for seating. All right.
“You mind if I grab a beer from the refreshments?” Austin asked, jerking one thumb over his shoulders. His mouth twitched up into a smile. “You done freaking out?”
Olivia laughed and blushed, just a little, mostly glad to have someone who didn’t dance around the truth that she was weird and damaged.
“I’ll be fine,” she said.
She leaned back against the wall of the barn and watched the dancers. There was a hypnotic quality, she thought, about a huge group of people all dancing together, all turning the same way and doing the same steps. It was really something lovely to watch, and the music and the sound of feet on the floor soothed her.
The barn was fairly full, and though most people were dancing, there were a few hanging around the outside of the dance floor, drinking beer and laughing and talking.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw two more men enter the barn, and instantly, she recognized them, even from a hundred feet away.
The one on the left was Jasper, and the other one was the man he’d been with at the coffee shop. Worse, they were in front of the only door. If she were going to run, she’d have to run right past them.
They’re looking at me, she realized. Once more, her blood was banging through her ears, her fight-or-flight instinct in full swing.
Then Olivia took a deep breath. She closed her eyes for a moment and imagined an hourglass.
They’re just two attractive men, she told herself.
Understatement of the year, but still true.
She opened her eyes. They were walking casually around the perimeter of the barn, slowly coming toward her.
If they say something, you can just have a conversation with them, she thought. Try not to think about them naked and just do it.
Olivia sat perfectly still and the two men, Jasper and his mate, moved toward her.
Do I act like I recognize them? She wondered. Is that weird?
If I act like I recognize them, will they know that I think about them naked?
They came closer, both watching the dance going on.
Olivia stared rigidly straight ahead. She pretended not to notice them until they stood almost directly in front of her. She was still nervous, sure — okay, terrified, maybe —but she felt like she had no idea what to do, no road map for this sort of thing.
Then they were there.
“It’s Olivia, right?” Jasper said.
Olivia looked up and forced a smile onto her face, feeling the adrenaline spike through her veins.
“Right,” she said.
Was that so bad?
“I’m Jasper,” he said. “Sorry I didn’t bring your book.”
Olivia felt a little bit of warmth rise to her face and forced herself to keep smiling.
He still has your book because you literally ran away from him the last time you spoke to each other, you know.
The other man — a huge, tall bear shifter wearing blue flannel, with blue eyes and a reddish beard — was blocking her only real exit. Olivia was pretty sure that if she ran again, they wouldn’t chase her, but she really, really wanted not to make a spectacle in front of all these people.
The last thing she needed was more people talking about how she ought to be locked up somewhere.
“It’s all right,” she said. “I’ve read it a thousand times anyway.”
“This is my mate, Craig,” he said, introducing the other man.
“Hi,” she said.
Craig extended his hand and for half a second, Olivia stared at it, her mind going totally blank.
Shake it, she reminded herself.
“Yes!” she said out loud, putting her own hand in his, pleased that she’d remembered what to do.
Craig looked puzzled.
You said that out loud, she thought.
“I’m Olivia,” she said, feeling her face get even hotter. She let her hand stay in his for a few more moments. Even though she was nervous and knew that she was embarrassing herself right and left, just his touch made her skin feel tingly, like a bolt of lightning shooting up her arm.
“These seats taken?” Craig asked, smiling down at her.
“Not really,” she said, looking around at the hay bales around her. “I mean, the guy I’m with went to go get a drink and he’s coming back, but there’s like five more hay bales so you should be okay,” she said.
They sat without commentary.
You’re talking too much, you weirdo, she thought. Olivia put her hands in her lap, squeezed them together, and told herself to calm down.
She sneaked a glance over at Craig. Even below the flannel shirt she could see the contours of his muscled arms. He had his sleeves rolled up, and his forearms rippled effortlessly every time he moved his hands.
Olivia’s mouth went dry, and she swallowed.
I’ve had a really, really long dry spell, she thought.
“So, do you guys dance?” she asked, crossing one leg over the other.
“Not yet,” said Craig. “But there’s a first time for everything, right?”
“I went to one square dance at a different ranch a couple of years ago,” Jasper said. “I nearly tripped over my own feet at first, but I had a great time. You?”
“I used to tap dance when I was a kid,” Olivia said. “I don’t think I was very good at it, but I had a great time.”
“You should have taken that act on the road,” Jasper said. “I bet a tap dancing bear would still be a big draw in the seedier circuses of America.”
Olivia hesitated.
Do they know about me? she wondered. That I was feral for so long?
“I’m not sure I’d have been the kind of act they’re looking for,” she said, trying to be both careful and clever at the same time. “Usually they want more entertainment and less ‘tear everything in sight to shreds’.”
“It’d be a specialty act,” Craig said. “Call yourself the Amazing Tap Dancing Demolition Bear, wear a tutu, and you’re in business.”
Olivia burst out laughing. It started as a giggle, but within seconds she was full-on howling with laughter, leaning back against the wall of the barn with tears coming into her eyes. She was too loud and she knew it — dancers and other people milling around were starting to look at her funny — but she couldn’t help it.
Craig and Jasper just grinned.
Finally she stopped, breathing hard, and wiped her eyes with her hand.
“Sorry,” she gasped out.
“What’d I miss?” asked Austin, showing up with two cups. He handed one to Olivia: hot apple cider, the cinnamon scent wafting up to her nose.
“Tap dancing bear talk,” she said, stifling another giggle. “They think I should be in the circus.”
Austin raised both of his eyebrows, his frame stiffening just a little.
Jasper spoke up quickly.
“She said that she used to tap dance, and I told her she should make money as a tap dancing bear act,” he explained.
“It was a joke,” Olivia went on.
The three men looked at each other for a moment. Olivia sipped on her apple cider, oblivious to the sudden awkwardness.
Chapter Six
Jasper
The moment Olivia’s companion walked up, Jasper could feel his hackles rise. His bear wanted out, and he had the wild and completely unreasonable urge to throw down right there, right then with the guy who’d taken his mate away from him.
He resisted the urge. It was hard, but he did it.
Instead, after a long, uncertain pause, him and Craig both staring at this guy and the asshole staring right back, he remembered his human manners and spoke up.
“I’m Jasper,” he said. He stood and held his hand out.
“Craig,” said his mate. He also stood.
The both of us could take this guy, no problem, he thought. The uncivilized animal in him wanted to just tackle the guy right there, knock him to the floor and beat the hell out of him.
It was the easiest way to take care of business, after all.
“I’m Olivia’s cousin Austin,” the man said, shaking both their hands.
Oh.
For half a second, Jasper’s mind went totally blank in relief.
Then he grinned so hard he felt like his face might also split into separate pieces. He glanced over at Craig, and realized that the other man was also grinning like an idiot.
“Great!” Craig said.
I can’t believe that didn’t occur to me, Jasper thought.
“I work at the Double Moon, so I thought it could be a fun thing to do on a Saturday,” Austin said. “They usually do a beginner hour starting around now, so you’ve still got your chance to get out there. Assuming you’re not square dance experts already.”
“Definitely not,” said Craig.
Just then, the music stopped. The two musicians put down their instruments and picked up bottles of beer, and the caller’s voice rang out over the barn alone.
“We’re gonna take a quick drink break, and then it’s time for all you new dancers to come on and join us!” he said. He had a gray mustache and a country twang. “In the meantime, buy some drinks and tip the band.”
With a crackle, he put the microphone back in the stand.
Just ask her to dance, Jasper thought. Come on. You’re not in middle school.
“Want to dance?” Craig asked.
“Hey!” said Jasper.
Olivia looked surprised, her cup frozen halfway to her mouth.
“Too late,” Craig told him.
“She has to say yes first,” Jasper pointed out.
“Sure,” Olivia said, her cup still hovering mid-air.
“Ha,” Craig said.
“I could switch off,” Olivia offered.
She didn’t seem like she knew quite what to do with the sudden attention from the two of them.
She was a bear for ten years, Jasper reminded himself. The last time she was human she was seventeen. Remember what you were like at seventeen?
A shudder went through him.
“Fine,” Craig grumbled in mock-irritation.
Normally, Jasper wasn’t a bad dancer, but he was finding it difficult to concentrate. Even though Craig got to partner with Olivia first and Jasper was partnered with a wolf shifter, he couldn’t help but watch her and Craig as they danced, Craig fumbling through the moves, Olivia moving with surprising grace and skill.
“Ow,” said his partner as he accidentally elbowed her in the back again.
“Sorry,” he said.
“Just pay attention,” she said gently, following his gaze. “First date?”
“Sort of,” Jasper said.
He and Craig switched off.
Concentrating got harder as he wrapped one arm around Olivia’s waist, letting her thread through his arm, spin, swing around and face him again.
She was glowing, her face slightly flushed with the heat of physical activity, and the whole time she was grinning like a madwoman. Whenever she screwed up the steps she laughed out loud, her red-gold hair swirling behind her like the trail of a comet.
“Come on,” she teased him. “Ow. Stop stepping on my foot. No, your other hand. Pay attention.”
Her smiled was infectious, and Jasper found himself laughing along with her, even as he got all the steps wrong.
He and Craig traded back and forth through the night, and both of them finally got good enough to not embarrass themselves when beginner hour ended and the real dancing started. Normally, Jasper knew he’d feel a little more self-conscious about being in front of so many people screwing up so badly, but with both his mate and Olivia there, it didn’t matter.
Let them stare, he thought. I couldn’t care less.
At the end of the night, the music stopped and the caller thanked everyone and the three of them stayed in the middle of the floor, Craig and Jasper both took turns spinning and dipping Olivia as she laughed, until finally, they turned the lights out on the dance floor.
As they walked out, Olivia waved to Austin, deep in conversation in one corner of the barn with a wolf shifter. He nodded and held up one finger in the universal sign of “be there in a minute.”
The cool air felt wonderful on Jasper’s skin, and he realized how much he’d been sweating.
“Austin’s truck is over there,” Olivia said, pointing, their feet sinking a little into the soft grass as they walked.
“You know, we’ve still got your book,” Craig said.
Olivia turned her head and looked at him, a smile just barely crinkling the soft skin around her eyes.
“Think we could give it back to you over dinner?”
Olivia’s smile froze, and Jasper’s heart sank.
She didn’t answer.
She’s going to say no, Jasper thought.
Then he realized she was staring at someone behind them, looking like she’d seen a ghost or something.
Jasper followed her gaze, but there was nothing there — just a group of wolf shifters standing around, talking.
With a sudden whoosh, Olivia shifted before Jasper had any idea what was happening, and then her huge bulk flew past him, charging at the group of wolves, teeth bared growling.
The only thing that Jasper had time to think was oh no.
Then she came to a sudden stop, digging the claws of all four feet into the ground, tearing up the grass.
In a blink, the wolves had all transformed except for one, the oldest man and the one who seemed to be in charge.
Olivia roared at them. She had a crazed, terrified look in her eyes, and Jasper could see the whites around the edges.
She turned and ran back past them, charging between the cars, over a fence and into the forest.
Jasper didn’t think.
He just shifted and went after her, following her retreating form into the forest. He could hear Craig right behind him as they both ran.
Whatever had gone wrong, he was afraid for Olivia. Something had happened back there. Something he didn’t know about or understand, but he knew one thing: he didn’t want her to deal with it alone.
Olivia ran and ran and ran, splashing through streams and clambering over rocks. Jasper knew that they were sort of headed back toward Granite Valley, but in a circuitous, winding path.
Every so often she’d look over her shoulder at the two bears following her, almost like she was waiting for them to give up on following her, but Jasper would have rather died.
I finally f
ound her, he thought. The hell I’m giving her up without a fight.
Gradually, Olivia slowed down, her pace slowing to a canter and then a jog, then a walk.
Finally, next to a massive downed evergreen tree, she sat and looked at them with enormous sad brown eyes.
Jasper walked up to her and nuzzled her, rubbing his face against hers. He could sense her heartbeat thundering through her veins, her rapid breathing.
Craig came up beside them and did the same, sitting down next to Olivia and putting his snout under hers, nuzzling against her neck.
Jasper thought the message was clear: you’re not alone.
We’re here.
Olivia closed her eyes and the three of them stayed that way for a long time in a big pile of warm, comforting fur.
Then, at last, she opened her eyes and stood.
Jasper tilted his head in the direction of Granite Valley, still a long walk away.
Want to go home?
Olivia shook herself off, and then started walking in the right direction; Jasper and Craig followed her.
Chapter Seven
Olivia
Being a bear was comforting, almost like being wrapped in a warm hug, but a hug that kept you from thinking too much or too deeply, from worrying about the problems of life. So, like a hug that was also some kind of drug that shut down a lot of the brain, except for the really vital parts: food, water, danger, direction.
Olivia was vaguely aware that it wasn’t like that for most shifters. It hadn’t always been that way for her. Before she’d gone feral, shifting had only caused a slight change in consciousness; more sensory input, less thinking about what homework was due or whether that bitch Katrina was going to make fun of her hair again in calculus class.
But being feral did a number on the brain, it turned out, and it took a long time for a brain to fix itself. Hell, Daniel had told her that years after he’d come back from being feral, he still had the urge to shift and run into the woods forever.
It wasn’t the first time she’d shifted since reverting to human. Shifters couldn’t just not shift. But until now, she’d done it in a controlled environment, with supervision: Kade and Daniel, sometimes Austin, sometimes her dads, sometimes the other cousins.
