by Bobbi Smith
Jim groaned as his mouth possessed hers again. Delight felt that she was losing herself in him as a heated yearning pulsed to life deep within her. She couldn’t control the urge to move against the hardness of his muscled body, and Jim was thrilled at her uninhibited response.
“Not so fast, little one.” He slowed her with gentle hands. “Let’s go slowly…together.”
“I’m yours, my captain, to do with as you will.” Her tone was softly feminine yet serious in intent, and Jim looked down into her night-shrouded features.
“I wish I could see you….” he muttered. “All of you…”
But Delight distracted him, pulling him down to her for a kiss.
Jim gave himself up to the artless wiles of this tender woman who was gracing his bed. With practiced, learned strokes he caressed her.
Twisting restlessly under his tantalizing touch, Delight longed for more. Why was he doing this to her? Didn’t he know how she felt? Didn’t he know that she was burning with desire for him? Couldn’t he tell that she needed him to possess her fully…to take her and brand her body with his so they would always belong to each other?
“I love you, Jim Westlake. I love you,” she whispered.
Jim was torn between the need to take her quickly and the desire to savor each moment in her enthralling embrace. She was like a wildfire, burning out of control, possessing him body and soul. His dream lover was entrancing him, bewitching him, mesmerizing him in a vortex of emotion unlike anything he’d ever known before. Ignited by her passion, Jim could hold back no longer. He made her his own.
The shock of their joining amazed him as a powerful current of emotion surged through him. Theirs was a mating of souls…a longing of the flesh that transcended time and place…and Jim was lost in his need to love her.
As ecstasy claimed them, they collapsed together, wrapped in each other’s arms.
“Did I please you?” she whispered in his ear.
A tremor of excitement shook Jim as he lay still, trying to grasp the reality of what had just happened.
“Oh, you pleased me, all right,” he growled, rolling over quickly and taking her with him. “You pleased me too damn much.”
“Too much?” She was worried, he sounded so fierce. “I didn’t mean to upset you….”
“No, no, my love. You haven’t upset me.” His feelings were so new and so powerful that he was at a loss to explain himself to her.
“I would never want to hurt you,” she vowed. “You mean everything to me.”
“Rest with me for a while and then we’ll talk,” he invited, hugging her close.
“You only want to rest?”
Her innocent words aroused him in a way no other ever had before.
“You’re right. I could never rest with you in my arms,” he said fiercely, kissing her. “You are my dream.”
He made love to her again, hungrily, passionately.
“I love you, Captain,” she sighed as they rested in the aftermath of their spent desire.
“You’re perfect, my love,” he whispered. “I’ll never stop wanting you….”
Delight closed her eyes and breathed deeply of the manly scent of him. This was heaven. She lay languidly as Jim moved his weight off of her and pulled her to his side. A sense of real peace, the first she’d felt in weeks, overcame her, and she curled against her love, resting her head on his shoulder. She knew that she would have to leave him soon, but she wanted to wait until he was asleep and then slip noiselessly into the night.
Jim felt her nestle beside him and he leaned over her to frame her face with his hands for another kiss. He had never experienced such an overwhelming passion before, or such a willing partner. She was wonderful, his beauty. And, he decided in his intoxicated state, he wanted to keep her with him forever.
Delight lay against him, exhausted, yet excited, by his stimulating lovemaking. She listened carefully to his breathing, waiting for him to fall asleep so she could make her escape. She hoped it wouldn’t be long, for the sky was beginning to lighten to the east. Closing her eyes, she decided to rest for just a moment, knowing that she would feel better if she could just sleep for a little while….
Chapter Thirteen
It was not early. Jim could sense that just by the sounds he could hear. He wondered if the sun was out, but he dreaded opening his eyes. His head was already pounding, and he knew that in a direct confrontation with that bright, shining orb he would come out the loser. His mind was foggy but relaxed, as though he had just experienced a wonderful dream whose essence had momentarily escaped him. He didn’t want to move. In fact, if he had his own way, he probably would stay in bed for the entire day. That had been some celebration last night…all that champagne and…
He stretched. The touch of a warm body nestling softly near his own nearly sent him scrambling from the bed. My God! He sat up in a jerky motion, rubbing a hand over his eyes. What had he been thinking of? Had the champagne ruined his good judgment that badly? He never brought women to his cabin…never. What had Murphy thought this morning when he’d passed through on his way out?
His movements seemed almost in slow motion as he turned to look at the woman curled by his side. The woman, who could have been Murphy’s twin, lay sound asleep with a look of blissful contentment on her face. Jim shook his head groggily, trying to remember, and it was then that he noticed her short hair.
In a panicked move that jarred the entire bed, he threw back the covers and stared in mind-boggling confusion as Murphy came awake slowly. Snatches of the night just past came back to him with a vengeance. A night of passionate love…a night of unknown beauty and seduction….
“Murphy?! What the hell is going on around here?!” he thundered.
“Captain?” she asked sleepily, trying to understand why he was shouting and why her head hurt her so badly.
“I think you’d better start talking and fast!” he demanded in a cold voice, one that was deadly with murderous intent. The truth be known, Jim was so confused he wasn’t sure what to say, and he wanted Murphy to do all the explaining.
Delight was horrified. Oh, God! She had actually fallen asleep…she hadn’t meant to. She had only wanted to rest for a while…she had felt so good in his arms…so loved…so protected….
“I’m sorry,” she squeaked, and the sound of her own voice sent a vicious pounding of pain through her slowly recovering senses.
“You’re sorry?!” Jim was incredulous. He stared at Murphy for a long moment before realizing that he was nude. Climbing over her, he searched fruitlessly for his pants. “Where the hell are they!?” he bellowed, before finally locating the pair he’d worn the night before wadded up in the corner. Hopping on one foot, he struggled into them while keeping one eye on the female lying on his bed.
“Captain,” she said earnestly. “I’ll go. I’m sorry if I’ve embarrassed you. I hadn’t meant to fall asleep.” Delight gave him a small, helpless grin, and, with a sedateness she didn’t feel, she climbed down from his bunk and started to her room, leaving Jim totally disconcerted, staring after her.
Jim watched the door close behind her and stood stock-still, unable to move. His brain certainly wasn’t working at peak efficiency this morning. He rubbed his eyes again. Murphy—a girl? No, definitely not a girl—a woman. Murphy—his dream lover? His beauty?
Barefoot, Jim marched to the closed portal, and, with barely restrained violence, he threw it open. The hinges screeched their protest as the door banged viciously against the wall.
Delight looked up from pulling on her work pants. Standing, facing him bare-breasted, her hair in a riot of short curls about her face, she looked like an adorable pixie-woman, and Jim had the unbidden desire to clasp her to him. They had just loved all night, hadn’t they? His mind was searching frantically for answers.
“You’re a woman?” He stared at her breasts, remembering their silken softness and the way she’d moaned when he’d touched them.
Again, she gave him a lopsided
grin. “I think that’s obvious at this point, Captain.” She gestured in resignation to her bare state.
“But…”
“I know. Believe me, I understand your anger and I’m going, just as soon as I get dressed.”
Delight was amazed at the calm way she was dealing with the situation, and, turning from him, she pulled on her shirt, quickly buttoning the material over her bosom. She felt just a little shy this morning, and she was totally unsure of Jim. When she had planned to love him, she had also planned not to face him the day after.
“Going? I’ve got news for you, Murphy. You’re not going anywhere!” Jim snarled. He needed time to think. It came as no little surprise to him that his cabin boy was in reality a woman full-grown. “What kind of a game are you playing, Murphy? What do you want from me?”
She stared at him aghast, and tears blurred her vision. What a nasty accusation! Did he really think that there was some evil plot behind her desire for him? She hurriedly turned away from him, but not before he’d caught sight of her upset.
Jim stood helplessly watching as she presented him with her back.
“I don’t want anything from you, Captain,” she hissed, too hurt to say more. “Please, let me go.”
“Murphy—” he began again, his tone belligerent.
Jim didn’t know if he was angry with her or with himself, but he was angry. Furious, in fact. He’d been made a fool of. How could he have been so stupid?
“Murphy,” he began again when she didn’t respond.
A loud banging on his deck door thwarted his attempt to force her to speak.
“Damn!” he swore, growing more frustrated by the minute. “Who is it?” he shouted, moving out of the room.
“It’s Ollie, Jim. Mark Clayton is down in the saloon and he says he needs to talk to you right away. It’s important.”
Jim cursed heatedly under his breath, “All right, all right. Tell him I’ll be down shortly.”
“Right,” Ollie answered, and Jim could hear his footsteps retreating down the deck.
“Murphy?” his tone was stiff, but more civil than before, and she came to stand in the connecting doorway.
“Yes, Captain.”
For some reason, Jim didn’t like her calling him “captain” anymore, but he had no time to tell her so now.
“I’ve got to go meet Captain Clayton. I’ll be back. I want you to stay here until I return. Is that clear?”
She nodded, her eyes wide with the knowledge that this would be the last time she would see him, possibly forever. “Yes, sir.”
Jim glanced at her quickly and shook his head, wondering how he’d ever been fooled by her pitiful disguise. She was gorgeous.
Delight started to turn away, but he called her back.
“Murphy?” His tone was less demanding, and she looked at him speculatively.
“Yes?”
“Would you please find me a pair of clean pants?” Jim ran a hand nervously through his hair. He seemed unable to do anything right at the moment.
Hurrying, she laid out his clothes and went back into her cabin while he dressed. She had sensed his discomfort with her in the room, and she thought it wiser to leave him to his own devices.
Sitting nervously on the edge of the bed, she waited until she heard his door close before venturing out. Relaxing a bit now that he was gone, Delight made her plans. She had to leave, now. There would be no time for recriminations. She didn’t want to do that to what they had shared last night. His love had been perfect, and she wanted the memory to stay that way.
Bundling up her few personal possessions, she donned her coat and started out of the cabin. Pausing, she quickly scribbled him a short note. Leaving it on his desk, she looked once more about Jim’s stateroom, staring at the bed where she’d learned so much about giving and loving unconditionally. She closed her eyes, savoring the sweetness of the night, and then hurried from the boat. Her absence would prove to him that she hadn’t wanted to take anything from him. She had only wanted to give.
Jim sat in the saloon, listening halfheartedly to the news that Mark was imparting. His attention span was almost nil and he had to force himself to heed what his friend was saying.
“Jim, the river is frozen solid from here to New Orleans, and the army just walked across at Vicksburg and took the city. What do you think about that?” Mark said sarcastically, as he realized that Jim was not with him. “Jim?”
“I’m sorry, Mark.” Jim snapped back to the present. He had been lost in thoughts of Murphy’s embrace. “You were saying?”
“Is there something wrong, Jim?”
“No,” he denied quickly. “What makes you say that?”
“You’re acting strange this morning.”
“It was all that champagne last night. I’m afraid I overdid it.”
Mark looked at him speculatively, but didn’t push for a further explanation. He had been at the engagement party last night, but Jim hadn’t seemed all that drunk to him.
“Would you like to get together later today? Most of what I have to tell you is important, but it can wait.”
“What ever you say, Mark,” Jim replied vaguely, and Mark knew it would be better to put it off. Jim was definitely not himself this morning.
“Why don’t I meet you for dinner?”
“Sure.”
“Planter’s House?”
“All right.”
Mark gave him a puzzled look, but Jim took no notice of his confusion. He was too concerned with his own thoughts. They shook hands and agreed on a time to meet to eat and then walked out on deck together.
“Try to get some rest today. You look pretty tired,” Mark suggested.
“I’ll do that.”
“See you tonight.”
Jim was glad when Mark disappeared down the gangplank, and he hurried quickly back to his cabin. He wanted to sit Murphy down and find out exactly what was going on. Jim realized now that he had been hasty in his accusation that morning, but at the time nothing had made sense. Calmer now, and more in control of his emotions, he was ready to talk it out with her. What they had shared last night went beyond words. Something elemental had happened between them…something that he didn’t want to lose.
He had a sudden fleeting thought of Annabelle, but he pushed it aside. There would be time to consider her later. Right now, Murphy was more important.
Bolstered by his feeling of rationality, Jim entered the cabin easily, ready to talk and ready to listen.
He knew immediately that Murphy wasn’t there. There was a silence hanging in the air…a painful one. With long, purposeful strides, he crossed the room, throwing wide her door once more and staring at her deserted quarters. She was gone.
Jim was stunned by the sense of loss he felt, and he cursed Mark and Ollie for their untimely interruption. Important, indeed! A light of hope entered his mind…maybe she had gone on to work. He was ready to rush from the cabin in search of her when he spied the note lying on the desktop. His hand shook as he reached for it. Eager, yet afraid of what the missive might say, Jim gently unfolded it.
My captain—
I’m sorry. I know it’s impossible between us, so please don’t look for me. You have your life and I have mine.
I wish you every happiness. I hope you will remember all we shared with fondness.
I love you—
Murphy
Jim stared at the piece of paper in awestruck silence. She really had gone. Just like that. He didn’t know whether to be angry or sad. Jim felt an unfamiliar burning in his eyes, and, in a fit of uncontrollable rage, he wadded up the paper and threw it viciously across the room. Damn her!
Slumping down in his chair, he stared blindly at the rumpled bed, noticing for the first time the virgin’s blood that stained his sheets. It was only then that he began to understand the enormity of what Murphy had done. Jim groaned to himself as he realized the damage he had caused by accusing her of having some ulterior motive. He had been so selfish and
so stupid….
He wanted to make it up to her, to tell her that he was sorry, to tell her that last night had meant everything to him. He wanted her to know that he had never experienced anything like it before in his life and that he never would again in his future. Thoughts of Murphy assailed him. Her quickness at learning, her good-natured acceptance of his teasing, the time they had spent working closely together. How could he have been so blind? She was a lovely woman, not a boy….
Jim looked up, determination written on his features. He would find her if he had to tear the city apart. She couldn’t have gone too far; he’d only been gone from the cabin for a half an hour.
Standing, he started for the door. It was then that he saw it…his rumpled nightshirt…the one he had given her. With careful hands he picked it up and lay it gently on the bed. Then, retrieving the note, he smoothed out the wrinkles and folded it neatly, storing it in his vest pocket…the pocket nearest his heart.
Chapter Fourteen
It was late afternoon, cloudy and cold. A vicious wind whipped down the deserted streets and alleys, discouraging all but the most hardy of souls from venturing out.
Delight slowly made her way down the treacherous, icy side street. The frigid wind stung her face, chilling the tears that clouded her vision as she struggled on, heading in the direction of Rose’s house. Although Delight didn’t want to go back there, knowing that her presence might cause trouble for Rose with Martin, she also knew that she had no real alternative. Necessity was forcing her decision, for she would freeze to death if she tried to stay on the streets.
Delight thought of Jim and wondered if he’d discovered that she’d gone yet. A small, troubled sigh escaped her as she realized that all ties with him had been severed. There could be no going back.
But knowing that she’d made the right decision in leaving didn’t ease the painful loneliness that engulfed her when she thought of him. And, while it hurt that he’d accused her of using him, she still loved him with all of her heart. A lone, forlorn tear trickled down her cheek and she wiped at it sadly. It was going to be difficult, of that she had no doubt, but somehow, in time, she would manage to put Jim and her love for him behind her and go on with her life.
