by Lila Mina
Honda lay over her, unmoving. His face was covered by shadows and Lana wasn’t able to read his expression.
What is he waiting for…?
Realization dawned on her, and she seized his shirt with both hands to push her hips up to grind herself on him. His body shuddered and to her astonishment, he whimpered.
“I want you. Take me now,” she ordered before biting his earlobe hard, giving him the official authorization to reclaim her body. His hands tore her blouse open, pushed down her pants, ripped away her panties and pressed against her core roughly to check her state of readiness.
“Yes!” Lana exclaimed, bucking against his hand. She mirrored him to free his hard shaft from his pants, placing it against her dripping opening. “Goshujin sama… Please,” she begged in a breathless moan, as her hands moved under his shirt and dug with all her might in his chest.
She was rewarded by the combination of a single and powerful thrust, and teeth sinking remorselessly in her nape. Her mind went blank and her eyes rolled back as his demonstration of dominance triggered a fulgurous climax. She hung on for dear life to his shoulders. One of his arms engulfed her in a bearish embrace, and his free hand grabbed her leg to push her wide open. Her breath was stolen away by his frantic and coarse pumping which hit deep places inside her.
She sunk her teeth in his chest in return, a part of her wondering weakly if they were not making this mess worse when they bit each other like that. But the one in charge, the one relishing the taste of his blood mingling with his sweat and natural scent, shut her thoughts off. It was much too late anyway. She came hard again as his moves became erratic, and he roared against her damp neck, reaching his own release.
Slowly, they regained their senses and clarity of mind. Lana expected him to put some space between them, as he often did, but this time he seemed reluctant to let her go. Carefully, her fingers grazed his awful scar. His skin felt unnaturally warm to her touch, but then again, they were profusely sweating in a stuffy car.
“We need to go home, go back to Yuki sama,” she whispered against his damp skin. It was as true metaphorically as literally speaking. Honda grunted in her hair but didn’t move. Lana sighed, and her fingers traced the fresh red marks she had made. “She is also why I stay, you know?”
His hand tightened on her hip. “Yes, I do. She is… sanity. Rest. Care. Warmth… Life,” his gruff voice trailed off.
Lana smiled; the fact he was aware of it, that he didn’t shut those feelings out, untied a painful knot inside her. Honda’s grip on her neck increased. He wanted to say something, but hesitated.
That’s a first.
“What is it?” Lana probed.
“Speaking of things left unsaid, would you care to share —” He stopped when she stiffened in his arms, and pushed him back.
“No, not today!” Butterflies of anxiety made her stomach queasy. She sighed and lowered her head. “My apologies. We all have demons chasing us, some more… figurative than others. I will tell you my story, but one roller coaster ride is enough for me tonight. I’m not ready. It’s not a matter of trust or fear, it’s just… too painful.”
“I understand. Then I think it is time we go home now. There are many things to prepare before we leave on Sunday.”
Lana gave him a heartfelt smile of gratitude as he untangled himself and fixed his clothes. Yes, more than any place anywhere in her life, that house, the three of them, was indeed ‘home’.
12 Staring into the Abyss
Lana woke up in the middle of the night, disoriented, images of her old and recurring nightmare — memories — still imprinted behind her eyelids. Fear and grief left her short of breath, and her temples were suspiciously wet. It had been years, and she was supposed to have outgrown it, but her pregnancy seemed to have triggered a new cycle. Usually she would bolt out of bed and beeline to the toilets.
But this time, despite her nausea, something kept her from opening her eyes or even make a single move.
Hyper awareness of her surroundings made her tense. They had turned off the A/C in their hotel suite and opened the windows to let the sea breeze in. Still, the air was too cold for an August night, almost chill.
Goosebumps covered her naked body. The only warmth came from Yuki’s arm wrapped around her chest, her soft and regular breath tingling her nape, and Honda’s large hand resting on her hip as he spooned his wife. Her left arm felt numb as Yuki rested on it, her silky hair tickling her breasts.
Blood rushed to her ears. It was hard to make out any sound over her heart’s rapid drum. Dread squeezed her guts.
We are not alone.
Adrenaline filled her body. She forced herself to open her eyes in the darkened room even though millennia of deep-set fear screamed not to. She bit her lip to the blood to stifle a shriek of horror at the sight that greeted her.
A white-blue shape hung over them, shining with a soft hue. It wore a woman’s face, but there were no eyes, no mouth to see. Only gaping black holes. Her translucent skin was unlined. Long, white-grey hair strands floated around her. She wore a traditional white burial shroud.
To Lana’s horror, the ghost creeped even closer, and long, lithe fingers extended to brush Yuki’s hair.
As Lana opened her mouth to jolt her mistress up and scare the ghoul away, Honda’s fingers tightened on her hip. From the corner of the eye, she saw he was wide awake. He mouthed a silent ‘No’ and threw her a warning glare that was crystal clear. Lana inhaled shakily, and dared resume her careful, frightened observation of their otherworldly guest who seemed content with playing softly with Yuki’s hair. The gentle gesture startled Lana.
Could this be…?
Movement outside her field of vision caught her attention and interrupted her line of thought. Eyes widening, she fought once again to not scream out of sheer fright.
Beyond their room balcony, the full moon revealed a view dramatically different from what had been during daytime a tranquil wide bay, surrounded by gentle hills and vibrant green rice fields. The entire coast had turned into a nightmarish vision where hundreds, maybe thousands of glowing and transparent figures floated downhill toward the shore and then disappeared into the gentle waves.
August 16. Last day of obon. The dead are going home.
Lana’s gaze flickered again to the one who had stopped over to check on her daughter. She breathed deeply to calm down, almost certain that their guest meant no harm — at least to her offspring. She seemed to ignore Yuki’s partners and just like that, after a few more minutes of silent, blind staring, she was out of the window and headed toward the beach, following thousands of other souls.
As soon as she was gone, Lana jumped out of bed.
“Lana, don’t! Stay here!”
Ignoring Honda’s urgent whisper, she grabbed her discarded tank top and ran to the balcony. Awe replaced fear; this was an exceptional event to witness. In the blink of an eye, her bare feet had taken her to the flight of smooth and still warm stone stairs leading to the shore.
I will see even better from there...
Iron fingers dug into her biceps and pulled her harshly against a naked torso. The spell was shattered.
“Don’t even think about it,” Honda’s low warning rumbled from his chest. “They’ll drag you underwater before you know it.”
Lana gulped and relented, the back of her head coming to rest against him. “So… sorry, I don’t know why…”
His puff of breath on the top of her head betrayed his aggravation. “The temptation is hard to resist. All living things believe it is safe to stare into the Abyss… it is hard to accept we are more fragile than glass, and that death is so much more powerful.”
The air was still unnaturally chill. Lana shivered and decided it was because of the cool temperatures, not fear. The sight before them was mesmerizing.
“All right… I… We can go back now,” she whispered, her throat tight. But she had yet to move or look away.
Honda grunted and pushed her back tow
ard their room as she remained rooted on her spot. But then he stopped in his tracks, and to her surprise, let her go.
“What? No… No, it can’t be, not him, not here!”
Lana whirled back toward her agitated companion, who was already by the stairs, staring at a pale form a hundred meters away. While all other ghosts were on the move, going down, that one — obviously a male — stood unmoving and faced them with the same eyeless glare as Yuki’s mother. But where Lana had sensed traces of care from her, only pure despair and contempt poured from this one. To her horror, a dazed Honda took a couple of slow steps toward him.
Out of panic and acting on pure instinct, Lana jumped on his back. He fell down on his knees with a gasp of angry shock.
“What are you doing? Stay here!”
Honda easily pulled her down at his feet. Pain shot from her left shoulder when it hit the cold ground, but to her relief, his attention was once again on her, not on the ghoul.
“How dare you! Don’t you see, woman? I need to speak with him! I need to know, to understand!” He applied a harsh twist on her hand to make her loosen her grip.
With a grimace, she managed to grasp his neck with her other hand to keep him from looking up. To her dismay and mounting fear, while his skin was cool, his scar was unusually hot to the touch.
“No! You lecture me on the dangers of being outside, and here you are, running to one of those… things?”
Honda’s eyes widened, and he caught himself in time, refraining from glancing up. With a shaky breath, he released her before slowly turning his back to the shore. Rising slowly to his feet, he brought her back with him, but then vacillated, as if drained from all strength.
“You… You are right. I fell in the trap I warned you against… But I was so surprised… I…”
His stammer and dejected voice scared her more than any ghoul around them. A shiver shook his body and goosebumps broke all over his naked skin. Out of reflex, Lana molded herself against him and cupped his lowered head to force him to lock eyes with her.
“It’s okay… Let’s get back inside,” she entreated him softly.
“Here you are! Enjoying the moonlight, aren’t you?” The shaken couple turned toward a smiling Yuki, who had stepped outside their room to join them on the terrace.
Their companion was oblivious to the dramatic show taking place around them. Lana forced herself to step back from Honda and hid her trembling hands behind her back.
“Imagine my surprise and sadness when I woke up all alone in this huge bed,” a playful Yuki chided them. “I felt so cold, all of a sudden… And actually, it is amazingly cool, isn’t it? More like a late October night.” With a grimace, she rubbed her arms.
Honda cleared his throat. After lightly squeezing Lana’s hand, he went to his wife and wrapped her in a tight embrace. Honda cleared his throat. After squeezing lightly Lana’s hand, he went to his wife and wrapped her in a tight embrace.
Yuki frowned at his uncommon display of affection and troubled face. She cupped his jaw. “What’s wrong?”
He buried his face in her hair, and Lana realized he tried not to glance behind his shoulder. Shuddering, she knew with certainty the creepy ghost was still there, waiting.
“Forgive me… Old and difficult nightmares… woke me up…” Lana cringed at his twisted truth, and her own memories flashed again in her mind.
Dead, dead, dead people everywhere. I guess it’s the right night for that.
Yuki’s warm and soft hand slipping in hers brought back to the present moment. “And you helped him while he struggled with it? Thank you so much, sweetling.” Her sweet voice seeped through the ice clutching Lana’s stomach.
Before she could reply, Honda sighed, and his fingers brushed her neck. “Yes, she did. Please accept my gratitude, Lana san,” he added with a bow. Ashamed, Lana could only mimic his gesture, aware it was her brazen behavior that had put him in that situation.
“Speaking of dreams, I had the most vivid dream, about my mother,” Yuki whispered, wonder in her voice. Without thinking, she snuggled against her husband, her hand still holding Lana’s, bringing them closer together. She didn’t catch her companions’ tension. “It was so odd, because I’ve never dreamt of her all these years…”
“What… What was the dream about?” Lana winced. Can’t you keep your mouth shut, you stupid cow?
“It was a beautiful one! We were in her rose garden, you know, her favorite place, where we scattered her ashes?” Honda grunted, face still in his wife’s hair. “She was much younger… Maybe my age… She trimmed her rose bushes, it was late spring. The sky was dark, heavy with thunderclouds, lightning struck in the distance, it was terrifying and beautiful. There were no colors, only shades of gray, except for her roses, bright red, yellow and orange. And she turned to me, with that lovely smile of hers, and told me that I shouldn’t be afraid. I was lucky, so blessed, because I wasn’t alone. With strong and caring companions at my side, ready to protect me, I would overcome everything thrown at me.”
Throat aching, Lana sniffled. Yuki reached out to caress her face and kiss her lips softly. “Oh, why those tears, sweetling? I know with certainty that this wasn’t an ordinary dream, and that yes, my mother approves of us, the three of us, and I hope that you can take heart from this. Because Heavens know we must face harsh challenges, and that it is especially hard and unforgiving for you… with my father above all...”
Her words were almost too much for Lana. She could only nod and grip her mistress’ hand. Yuki’s sincerity and care shone through with so much strength, it was like a bright light piercing through thunderclouds. It stole her breath away.
I don’t deserve it… Not with those lies, those risks, those threats…
“I am grateful for your mother’s blessing, Yuki san. This means… a lot,” Honda said softly, eyes still shut. “In the weeks and months ahead, let’s remember them. Now… let’s go back inside before we wake up anyone around us.” Without looking back, he nudged firmly at his companions’ shoulders.
In the room, Lana draw the curtains without a word and let out a sigh of relief. She was about to climb on the bed, but Honda’s hand on the small of her back stopped her.
“Yuki san, Lana san… Allow me to serve you tonight.” The two women exchanged a surprised look, and Lana struggled to hide her bafflement.
Uh. What else now. The dead walk among us, the master submits...
“If this is what you wish, goshujin sama, but…”
“No, enough with what I wish for now. Express what you want. Show it to me. Dictate it. I could use a lesson in discipline and humility…. and be reminded of the extent of your efforts on my behalf.”
Yuki pressed a hand on his chest then grazed his jaw. In the dark room, against the windows, barely illuminated by feeble moonlight piercing through the white curtains, they looked like faceless spirits themselves.
“I see… Like that night in Osaka, then. It was glorious. But… you wish to experience this with both of us?”
That was a legitimate question. With unreadable eyes, Honda stared at Lana over Yuki’s shoulder. Heavy silence hung between them.
Defiance and challenge reared their heads; a different kind of hunger twisted Lana’s lower regions. What she pushed down day after day rattled and roared deep inside her. Adrenaline was already pumping fast, anguish and fright replaced by other primitive urges, some darker than others.
Can we do this and go back to our usual dynamics afterward? Can he trust me to step down later? Can I do it? Will I do it?
“Yes, but it is up to both of you to decide how you would like to proceed. Make me feel in my body… how much you are willing and able to suppress out of sheer will, out of duty.” He sat down on the bed and closed his eyes, fists gripping his pajama pants.
Yuki quirked an eyebrow and turned to Lana, leaning to her ear. “Then, Lana san, give me a glimpse of what could have been. Of your unleashed potential. I will follow your lead and assist you.”
A finger to her lips shushed her. Yuki’s eyes flickered to Honda who was now engaged in deep breathing exercises. “No, you do it. You’re the one who bears his… harshest demands on a continuous basis nowadays. It’s exceptional, but now and then, he needs this role reversal, more than an explosive expression of his temper. His nightmare must have been terrifying, unsettling… Let’s soothe him by bringing him to his limits, while taking matters into our hands. But remember. It means that you must remain in perfect control. Of us, of yourself. Of the situation. It might be an even bigger challenge than… enduring his demands.”
Mouth dry, Lana nodded. What a perfect way to ignore the horrifying spectacle taking place outside. To celebrate life and the simple fact that their hearts beat, that they had skin to touch and caress. Arousal made her giddy, but she was keenly aware of the challenge that dominating such a man implied. A practical question popped up.
“May I… call him Honda san,” she whispered. No way I will use his first name.
“Yes, and call me Yuki, my lady,” Yuki smiled, before lowering her head.
Lana blinked in surprise before composing herself and going to stand in front of Honda, already wet.
Make him helpless, yet safe… Bring him to release under strict control… Well, not many options at hand. Pain and frustration will be key… but she is here, so let’s be… reasonable. No blade. Strip him of his power, his responsibility… Make him trust me even more with his body and needs. Bind him… Oh! Of course!
Everything clicked. She cleared her throat; time to channel that cold-ass personality that her colleagues hated, yet respected.
13 Mistress of their Bodies and Souls
