Connor was shoving at the self-deprecating voice in his head when they reached the second-floor landing.
“One more to go,” Jazelle told him. “If you’d rather head back to the den, I can take the tray for the rest of the way.”
Frowning now, he said, “I’d rather not.”
“Stubborn, aren’t you? How do you and Joe manage to get along?”
He chuckled. “We lock horns sometimes. But he’s even more stubborn than me, so he usually wins out.”
She asked, “Have you and Joe worked together for very long?”
“A little more than ten years. But we’ve been good friends since we were little boys. We’re the same age, same classes all through school. Except that Joe was always the good guy and I was the rounder.”
She slanted him a wry look “Was? Has that changed?”
To his surprise, he felt a rush of heat climb up his neck and onto his jawline. Man, what was that about? he wondered. He didn’t think he knew how to blush.
“Well, I’m a fairly steady, dependable guy,” he said. “At least, the Yavapai County Sheriff thinks so.”
“I guess his opinion is the only one that matters.”
Besides the sheriff and the rest of his peers at work, Connor normally didn’t give a damn what other people thought of him. His work was his life and, outside of it, not much else mattered. Or at least, that’s how he’d always felt about things until tonight. Until Jazelle’s brown eyes had cast him a few censuring looks.
“Not the only one,” he replied. “But it’s up there at the top.”
They finally reached the third landing and Jazelle pointed to a door on the left not more than ten feet away. “That’s where we’re going. The journey is over.”
“I’ve gone this far. I might as well finish the trip,” he told her.
She followed him over to the door. As he stood to one side with the tray, she rapped on the wooden panel with her knuckles.
“I hear plenty of crying and squealing inside,” Connor said. “Maybe you should put in some earplugs before you go in there.”
She gave him a faint smile. “I’m a mother. I’m used to it.”
The door suddenly swung open and Joseph’s sister stared at him with comical confusion. “Well, hello, Connor. When did deputies start doing waiter work?”
Glancing to his left, he noticed Jazelle was curiously watching their exchange. As though she was interested to see how the eldest sister of the Hollister group regarded him.
He let out an awkward chuckle. “Hi, Vivian. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you.”
“Not since my wedding to Sawyer. It’s nice to have you here at Three Rivers,” she said then peered at the containers of desserts, a stack of paper bowls and plastic spoons. “You’ve brought our dessert, I see.”
“I thought the tray was too heavy for Jazelle to carry all the way up here. So I offered to do it for her.”
Her brows arching slightly, Vivian encompassed both him and Jazelle with a clever smile. “How sweet of you.” She opened the door wider. “Come on in. I’ll show you where to put the goodies.”
Connor hadn’t planned to go any further than the door, but to stop now would make him look pretty silly, so he followed the redhead into a fairly large sitting area.
Everywhere he looked, there were children and all of them seemed to be making noises at a high decibel. Laughing and shrieking, or crying and yelling, they were all trying to communicate with their little friends or trying to catch the attention of their mothers. Among the chaos, he recognized Raine and Little Joe, along with his younger sister Spring, sitting on the floor playing with a pile of building blocks. Nearby, a pair of black-haired twins were climbing on and off a couch. Those were Vivian and Sawyer’s boys, he decided. They looked just like their father. Across the room, three more babies were on a padded pallet, two were waving their arms and bellowing in protest, while another was trying to crawl away.
“You can put the tray here, Connor,” Vivian instructed as the two of them reached a tall table positioned along the far wall of the room.
He placed his load on the table and she gestured to the food. “It’s a bit noisy in here, Connor, but you’re welcome to join us.”
“Thanks, but I’ve already had mine,” he told her. “I’ll just head back downstairs.”
At that moment, Joseph’s wife, Tessa, walked up behind him. “You’re not going to get away that easily. You haven’t said hello to the kids. In fact, I don’t think you’ve ever seen Holt’s son or Chandler’s two babies.”
Not giving him a chance to escape, Tessa took him by the arm and began to lead him away from Vivian.
“Tessa, I’m not good with kids and Joe doesn’t know where I am. He’ll be hunting me and—”
“Nonsense,” she interrupted. “Joe knows you’re a big boy who can find his way home.”
Find his way home. According to Jazelle, he didn’t have a home. Not the kind she wanted.
The thought had him glancing around to see if she’d followed him into the room and immediately spotted her over by the couch with a Whitehorse twin gathered up in each arm. The twins were apparently familiar with the housekeeper. They were both giggling and making an issue of patting her face, which was making her laugh in return.
Noticing he was gazing at Jazelle and the toddler-size twins, Tessa remarked, “She’s wonderful with the kids. We’d all be lost if she wasn’t around to help with them.”
“Those two certainly seem to like her,” Connor said, wondering how he’d managed to get himself boxed into a room with several women and a bunch of raucous children. All he’d wanted from this trip upstairs was a few minutes alone with Jazelle, not to take part in Babies 101.
“She has a way about her,” Tessa replied.
That was an understatement, he thought. That special way of Jazelle’s had taken such a hold on Connor that he was considering breaking his steadfast rule of never dating a woman with a child.
Trying to push that weak-willed urge aside, he followed Tessa over to the pallet where two babies were playing with an assortment of bright-colored toys. Only one of them bothered to look up. A boy with brown hair and greenish blue eyes.
“That must be Holt’s son,” Connor commented. “He has his dad’s dimples.”
Tessa laughed. “And his charm. Carter doesn’t cry to get what he wants. He grins and goos. And the darker-haired boy is Billy, Chandler’s son. He’s just the opposite of his cousin. He screams to get attention, especially now that he’s teething.”
“Chandler should invest in some good soundproof earphones. He’d never hear the crying or screaming.”
Tessa slanted him a droll look. “Connor, you’re deplorable. A parent doesn’t want to tune out their child. Not a good parent, that is.”
He let out an amused grunt. “Just goes to show you which kind of parent I’d be.”
Rolling her eyes, she was about to give him some sort of retort when Connor felt something tugging on the back leg of his jeans.
Turning, he discovered Jazelle’s son standing directly behind him. The boy’s head was craned back as he stared curiously up at Connor.
“Hello, young man,” Connor said.
The child tilted his head to a thoughtful angle. “You came to our house. With Uncle Joe.”
Surprised that the child had remembered the brief incident, Connor squatted on his heels to be on the boy’s level.
“That was me,” he said. “My name is Connor and yours is Raine. Right?”
The blond-haired, blue-eyed boy gave him a slow nod. “You had a badge. Right there.” He reached out and poked a finger against the pocket on the left side of Connor’s shirt. Like a fist landing on his chin, the child’s gentle touch caught him totally off guard.
“That’s right,” he said after a moment. “I’m a deputy
sheriff. Like Joe.”
“Oh. Why don’t you have your badge on tonight? Did you stop being a deputy?”
The solemn look on the boy’s face was enough to temper Connor’s urge to chuckle. “I’m still a deputy. I’m just resting tonight, so I left my badge at home.”
“Where is that?”
“You mean where do I live?”
Raine nodded.
Connor said, “I live up by Wilhoit. Have you ever been there?”
The child shook his head. “I go to town with Mommy. And we come here to the ranch. That’s where we go.”
In other words, Jazelle and Raine didn’t get out of the circle of home and work. That didn’t surprise him. But it made Connor realize that she and her son lived a narrow life. Although, he expected Jazelle would be the first to argue that point. He figured she didn’t measure wealth by money in the bank or the scope of her life by the miles she traveled.
Connor was contemplating that notion when Raine suddenly spoke again.
“I used to go to kindergarten,” he said. “But I don’t do that anymore. I’m going to be in first grade now. Mommy says when I go back to school, I’ll learn how to read. But I already know how. I can read my name and lots of other words.”
“Wow! You must be a really smart boy.”
Connor thought that might bring a smile to the boy’s face, but so far he’d not seen anything close to one.
“Mommy says I’m smart. But Grandma says I’m mean.”
Connor glanced up to Tessa for help, but she’d already moved away to console her crying nephew, Billy.
“Uh, why would your grandma say something like that?” Connor asked Raine. “Do you do naughty things?”
“I broke her plate—but that was by accident. And I made the can opener quit working ’cause I was trying to open a can of tuna to give to the neighbor’s cat. She says only mean boys get into stuff they’re not supposed to do.”
Sounded like this grandma had the same mindset his uncles had used on him as a child. To this day, Connor still remembered the hurtful things they’d said to him.
“Sometimes a guy just can’t help it—things just happen. And if your grandma tells you that you’re mean, just don’t listen to her. You and me know better, don’t we?” he said, giving the boy an encouraging smile.
Raine nodded enthusiastically. Then, without warning, he flung his arms around Connor’s neck and squeezed tightly. “’Bye,” he said as he finished the unexpected hug. “I gotta go play with Little Joe now.”
The child raced across the room to where Little Joe and Spring were stacking building blocks into a square. Connor straightened to his full height and stood there watching the children until his gaze moved beyond them to Jazelle and the twins.
She set both of the toddlers back on the floor and planted a kiss on each of their heads before she straightened away from the children and looked in his direction. Their gazes locked and Connor felt a hard jolt to his senses as she walked toward him.
Had she spotted him talking with her son? He’d not sought out the little boy. It had been the other way around. Still, he didn’t want her to get the idea that he’d ever use the boy to make a good impression on her.
Once Jazelle reached him, she said, “I need to get back downstairs. Are you ready to leave?”
Did she have to ask? “Billy is getting madder by the minute,” he said with a chuckle. “I think I’ll spare my ears and go with you.”
The two left the room and were near the second-floor landing when Connor finally found the nerve to reach for her arm and pull her aside.
“What are you doing?” she asked, glancing pointedly at the hand he’d wrapped around her upper arm.
“I wanted to speak with you a moment. Alone. Without the kids upstairs or the men downstairs.”
An impatient frown creased her forehead and it dawned on Connor that she was vexed because he was keeping her from her work, not because she feared he was going to make a pass at her. Was he losing his masculine charm or what? he wondered.
Sighing heavily, she said, “Connor, I’ve already wasted too much time upstairs. The men are probably wanting more drinks and if Reeva has to leave the kitchen to take care of them, I’m going to feel awful.”
“Just give me a minute,” he pleaded. “That’s all I ask.”
Pressing her lips together, she stood, staring at him, waiting. “Your sixty seconds is ticking away,” she reminded him.
Connor suddenly felt like a complete idiot. This wasn’t what he should be doing, he scolded himself. He should be running down the stairs and out the front door. He should be putting this woman far, far out of his mind. Instead, he wanted to reach for her. He wanted to hold her next to him and feel her softness. He wanted to stroke her hair and breathe in the womanly scent of her skin.
“I, uh, wanted to ask you something personal.”
The furrow between her brows deepened. “Personal? Really, Connor, I don’t think—”
“I’m sorry,” he interrupted. “I’m not doing this very well. But since you’re in a hurry, I’ll just blurt it out. Would you like to go out to dinner with me? Sometime soon. Maybe a couple of nights from now?”
Her mouth fell open and then, to Connor’s amazement, she laughed. “Are you asking me out on a date?”
The Paloma she’d mixed for him must’ve done a number on his mouth, he decided. It felt like he’d been eating sand and had washed it down with a few cotton balls. “A date. Yes,” he finally managed to say. “That’s exactly what I’m asking.”
Biting down on her bottom lip, she glanced away from him. “Then I’ll have to say no.”
Connor realized his hand was still on her arm and, considering her negative response, he should release his hold. But he didn’t want to quit touching her, any more than he wanted to accept her refusal.
“Why?” he asked. “Is there something about me that you don’t like?”
“I don’t really know you.”
“That’s what dates are for, aren’t they?” he asked. “For two people to get to know each other better.”
Her somber gaze returned to his face. “I don’t date. I don’t even want to date. You’re wasting your time.”
The flat, disillusioned sound of her voice was like nothing Connor had encountered in a woman before. For that matter, he couldn’t remember the last time any woman had turned down an invitation from him.
Well, you’ve been turned down now, Mr. Swagger. So go lick your wounded ego and get over it. This woman isn’t your style. You need to call the redhead and forget you ever laid eyes on this one.
“Well, if that’s the case, then we don’t have to call it a date. It can be an outing—just to eat and talk.”
Connor could see the wheels behind her brown eyes begin to spin. No doubt she was trying to figure out his motive. Well, good luck with that, he thought. Maybe if she came up with the answer, she’d share it with him. Because he sure as hell didn’t know why he was bothering with a woman who was eyeing him like she expected him to hair over and grow fangs at any given moment.
“Thanks. But like I said, I don’t date. And, anyway, I have to be away from Raine so much that I don’t want to leave him with a sitter unless it’s absolutely necessary.”
Connor’s first inclination was to argue that she deserved a bit of enjoyable time for herself. Then, out of nowhere, Raine’s little face stared up at him.
Before Connor realized what he was about to do, he said, “If that’s a problem, then you can bring Raine with you. We’ll do something a little boy will enjoy.”
Her expression turned skeptical. “How would you know what little boys enjoy?”
He slanted her a wry smile. “Probably because I happened to be one once—a long time ago.”
Pink color seeped to the surface of her cheeks. “Sorry. I wasn’t thin
king.”
“Yes, you were thinking—that I’m not a father. That I couldn’t possibly know about such things. Right?”
She gave him a sheepish smile. “I guess you had to be Raine’s age once.”
“Once.” He smiled, while wondering if that loud noise in his ears was the nervous drumbeat of his heart. “So what do you say? Is it a go?”
She released another long, heavy breath but, at the same time, her brown eyes appeared to soften.
“You really wouldn’t mind Raine coming along?”
The disbelief in her voice made Connor feel worse than a heel. Admittedly, the kid was cute and he didn’t have a thing against the boy, but in all honesty, he’d only made the offer to persuade Jazelle to go out with him. Well, that reason and the lost look in the boy’s eyes. Connor had seen those same wary shadows whenever he’d looked at himself in the mirror and wondered why his own mother hadn’t wanted him.
“I really don’t mind,” he told her.
She studied him for so long that he was finding it damned hard not to squirm.
Finally she said, “Okay. We’ll go.”
He’d never imagined that three simple little words could make him so happy. “Great! I’ll call you tomorrow and we’ll figure out the time and place.”
“Fine,” she said. “Now, would you please let me get back to work?”
“Of course.” Connor guided her over to the staircase and as they descended the steps together, he wondered if he’d just won the lottery or paddled his canoe straight into a stretch of white-water rapids.
Chapter Five
A little over a week later, on Sunday afternoon, Jazelle wheeled her old truck to a halt at the side of the house and plucked up her handbag and leather-bound Bible lying on the seat next to her.
She glanced over at Raine, who was pushing mightily against the release button on the seat belt latch. “Do you need help with that?”
“Nope. I can do it.” The belt popped loose and Raine climbed out of the booster seat. “Mommy, can we go to the ranch today? Nick would take me to the horse barn and let me ride Victor. Can we?”
Her Man Behind the Badge Page 6
