She was trying to push the dangerous thoughts aside when Raine suddenly called out, “Mommy! Come look! I found a worm!”
Thankful for the interruption, Jazelle quickly rose from the blanket and brushed the crumbs off the front of her jeans. “Raine loves worms, but I’d better go make sure his worm isn’t actually a snake. That’s happened more than once.”
* * *
As Connor watched her walk over the uneven ground, he decided he must be a first-class fool. A bum didn’t have a chance of making a princess fall in love with him, so what in heck had made him think he could get past first base with Jazelle?
Whoa, Connor. Who said anything about falling in love? When did that thought even come into the picture? You need to get your head twisted on straight. Otherwise, you’re setting yourself up for a huge crash.
Disgusted with the crazy and negative thoughts circling in his head, Connor left the blanket and walked over to where Raine was using a small stick to poke at something on the ground.
“Where is this critter you found?” he asked the boy.
“It fell off the tree and landed right in there.” He pointed to a crevice between two roots. “It’s white and fuzzy. Can I put it in a jar and keep it?
“We don’t have a jar, sweetie,” Jazelle pointed out.
Connor peered down at the thing that had caught Raine’s attention and immediately took the boy by the shoulders and pulled him aside. “I hate to spoil your fun, Raine, but that bug isn’t anything to play with. It’s poisonous and if it touches you, it hurts really awful. So don’t ever try to catch one.”
Jazelle cast Connor a fearful glance. “What is it?”
“They’re called asps. It’s a type of caterpillar that’s covered with tiny feathers—at least, they look like feathers,” he explained. “When they stick in a person’s skin, it stings something fierce. Sometimes the stings can be very dangerous.”
Jazelle groaned. “Oh, Lord, it’s not enough to have to worry about Raine finding a sidewinder or Gila monster. Now I have to worry about asps,” she said. On a more hopeful note, she asked, “Do they only live by the water?”
“No. They usually stay in trees and shrubs—anywhere outdoors. I’m just glad Raine was smart enough not to pick this one up without asking first.” Connor patted the top of the Raine’s head. “Good boy.”
Raine looked up at him as though he was a caped crusader who’d just saved him from an evil villain. “From now on, if I find a snake or bug or lizard, I’m gonna run fast!”
Jazelle sighed with relief as she looked over at Connor.
“Thank you,” she said. “Especially for explaining the dangers to Raine. Coming from you, they’ll more likely stick in his head.”
Connor suddenly felt a foot taller and wondered if that was the way a man felt when he had a woman who adored him, who believed in him, and wanted him at her side. Did a man ever get tired of wanting to be a hero to the woman he loved? He’d never know, Connor thought wryly.
“I don’t want the little man to get hurt. Not if I can help it.”
The smile Jazelle gave him was so sweet it caused an ache to rifle right through his chest.
In an effort to ease it, Connor coughed and settled a hand on Raine’s shoulder. “How about trying our hand at fishing now?” he asked. “The sun is high, but the fish might bite anyway.”
Raine looked eagerly up at him. “Does a fish know about the sun? How can he? He’s under the water.”
Connor laughed. “A fish sees lights and shadows. And he likes to swim around in the shadows.”
“Then we might find one there. A big one!” Raine exclaimed.
“I hope we do. If you catch a big one, maybe your mom will cook it for our supper,” Connor suggested, giving Jazelle a wink to assure her she probably wasn’t in any danger of having to cook a fish.
“Yeah. That would be super fun,” Raine said. “She can cook fish really good. And she squeezes lemon juice over it. That makes it yummy!”
Jazelle smiled impishly at the both of them. “I’d be glad to cook fish for the two of you. But I think you should catch a string of them first.”
Connor played along with her. “That sounds like a challenge, Raine. We’ll just have to show her what good fishermen we are.”
“Yeah. And Mommy can take a picture so I can show Little Joe!”
Connor looked over at Jazelle. “Sounds like I have my work cut out for me.”
She laughed lightly and Connor decided the sound was like tinkling bells at Christmas, filled with the promise of joy to come. Just hearing it could be addictive, he thought.
“Sounds like I might have a bit of work ahead of me, too,” she said.
At that moment, Raine grabbed Connor’s hand and tugged him forward. “Come on, Connor! Let’s run!”
Chuckling, Connor almost felt like a kid again as he trotted with Raine to the truck, where the fishing gear was lying on the tailgate ready and waiting.
* * *
Nearly two hours later, Raine had worn himself down and was asleep on the picnic blanket. A few feet away, Jazelle and Connor sat on a bleached-out log. In front of them, the water gently lapped upon the rocky shoreline, while in the distance boats bobbled on the waves.
Now that the sun had lowered, the fierce heat had eased and the wind off the water felt cool against Jazelle’s skin. But it wasn’t enough to temper the heat radiating from the man sitting at her side. Each time his shoulder casually came in contact with hers, she felt as though a flame was licking her face.
Throughout the afternoon, Jazelle had been assuring herself that this afternoon with Connor was only a casual outing. Nothing more, or less. But so far everything about this day was turning out to be nothing like she’d planned. Slowly but surely she could feel herself drawing closer and closer to the sexy deputy.
“I’m sorry that Raine didn’t catch a big fish,” he said. “He had his hopes up high. I feel like I let him down.”
The sound of his voice interrupted her swirling thoughts and she looked over at him. “Are you kidding? Just catching a small fish put him over the moon. And I appreciate you teaching him that the little fish have to be turned back into the water. Whether he ever goes fishing again or not, he needs to know the rules and understand that he has to follow them. Or a man with a badge might give him a ticket,” she added teasingly.
“Aw. And he believes men with badges are all nice guys.” He grinned and then said in a more serious tone, “Might surprise you to know that I’d once planned to become a game ranger.”
“I can’t picture you in that mild-mannered role.”
Her remark caused him to chuckle. “Parks and wildlife rangers are hardly mild-mannered. When it comes to criminals and breaking the law, a game ranger has just as much authority as any other lawman. And they probably get involved in more dangerous situations than the normal deputy sheriff. Poachers with rifles and fugitives trying to hide in the wilderness make for some wild encounters.”
Jazelle hated to admit it, but she was totally intrigued by the man. She wanted to know what he was thinking, not just about her and Raine, but about a jillion other things about him and his life.
She said, “Obviously you changed your mind and joined the Yavapai sheriff’s department. How did that happen?”
He shrugged. “Joe. He wanted to be a deputy sheriff and had the cockeyed idea that we might end up as partners. Just the idea of getting to work with my best friend was enough for me to shelve my plan to be a game warden.”
“Do you regret the choice?” she asked.
He shook his head. “No. Even though we both had several different partners before we finally got the chance to pair up.”
She gave him an understanding nod. “It makes everything better when you’re partnered with the right person. Reeva and I are a team. I can’t imagine working without her.”
He said, “I didn’t see Reeva the other night when I was at the ranch for dinner. Joe often mentions her and raves about her cooking. I’ve met her before—a long time ago, but never really visited with her.”
“She’s seventy-three now. But she’s more like fifty-three.”
He slanted her a wry look. “In other words, she doesn’t act old and crotchety?”
Jazelle chuckled. “Oh, she can get crotchety when she gets upset about something. But that’s not too often. And we understand where one another is coming from. You know what I mean?”
To her surprise, he reached over and gathered her hand between his. The warm, rough skin of his palm pressed to hers sent all sorts of delicious thoughts through her head and suddenly her heart was pounding with anticipation. For what, she didn’t know exactly. With Raine lying only a few feet away, it wasn’t like they were alone, or that he was even thinking about kissing her. But she was thinking about it. Far too much.
“I do know,” he murmured. “But I can’t begin to guess where you’re coming from—what you’re thinking about me or about being here with me.”
Jazelle’s heart began to beat even faster and she wondered if he had any idea of how he was affecting her. He couldn’t possibly guess that he was the first and only man since Spence who’d caused any sort of reaction in her.
“Would you like me to be totally honest? Or just nice?” she asked.
His low chuckle was completely sexy and it slipped down her spine like a pair of fingertips walking over her skin.
“I think I’d prefer the honest answer,” he said. “Even though I’m guessing the nice one might be better for my ego.”
His hold on her hand hadn’t loosened. If anything, his fingers had tightened around hers and yet she didn’t feel the need to pull away from him. Rather, she wanted to keep touching him. She wanted to continue gazing into his sky-blue eyes and listening to the deep timbre of his voice.
Something in her throat was fluttering, forcing her to swallow before she could manage to utter a word. “Okay, the honest answer is that I didn’t expect to like you. But I do. And when you took hold of my hand a minute ago, I wasn’t planning on feeling the things I’m feeling right now.”
One of his brows arched faintly while a dimple appeared near the corner of his lips. He was so damned handsome, she thought. Just looking at him was enough to get a woman so rattled she wouldn’t know what she was doing or saying. And Jazelle feared she’d almost reached that point.
“What are you feeling right now?”
The low, gravelly tone of his voice made her want to close her eyes and lean into him. It made her want to forget all about the heartache and pain she’d endured because of a man’s touch.
“Surprise, mostly,” she admitted to him. “Since Raine’s father walked out of my life, I haven’t wanted any man to touch me. Not for any reason. But I—it feels different with you somehow.”
She watched his features soften as his gaze traveled intimately over her face and it almost felt like he was kissing her with eyes. The notion jangled her senses to the point that she could scarcely remember to breathe.
“Since you’re being honest, maybe I should do a little confessing, too,” he murmured. “This past week, I’ve been kicking myself for asking you out. You see, it’s my policy not to date women with children. I mean it was a rule of mine—until you—until today.”
When she didn’t make any reply to that, he said, “But I’m very glad I decided to go against my self-imposed rules. Raine has been a joy. I didn’t know being with a kid could be fun.”
Tilting her head to one side, Jazelle regarded his face, which seemed to be drawing closer to hers with each passing second. “You have something against children?”
“No. It’s just that I didn’t have my dad for very long in my life. Not long enough to learn how to be a dad, that’s for sure. And until Joe had kids of his own, I was never around any.” His expression turned a bit guilty. “I’m supposed to be being honest, aren’t I?”
Nodding, she said, “I’d appreciate it if you were.”
“Okay. There’s more to it than just not knowing how to interact with kids. I’ve learned that a single mom is usually looking for a permanent partner—a daddy for her son or daughter. I’m not the right man to fill that bill, so I keep my distance. And now you’re thinking I’m a real selfish bastard, aren’t you?” he asked ruefully.
She shook her head. “No. I’m thinking you’re being honest. I’m thinking you’re a man who knows his limitations. And you don’t want to hurt yourself or anyone else by trying to step out of the parameters you’ve set up for yourself.”
A look of genuine surprise swept over his features. “You really do get it, don’t you?”
“I do. Except for one thing,” she told him. “Why did you decide to break your rule with me?”
His fingers lifted just enough to draw gentle circles against the back of her hand. The sensation caused goose bumps to erupt along her arms.
“Because I really like you. And I could see that you’re different. You’re not interested in a serious relationship or on a hunt for a husband. I figured you and I could enjoy each other’s company without a bunch of expectations. The kind that always fall flat.”
Why did she feel so deflated? She’d known from the very beginning that his intentions weren’t serious. Nor would they ever be. “You mean if we don’t expect anything, we won’t be disappointed?”
He looked almost thrilled. “Wow! You’re reading my mind.”
She refrained from rolling her eyes. “I read your mind the first time I ever met you.”
His happy grin turned into a confused scowl. “What does that mean?”
“It just means that as soon as we met, I recognized what you wanted from a woman.”
“Oh,” he said. “What’s that?”
“A good time. Nothing more. Nothing less.”
A ruddy color washed onto his face. “If that’s what you thought, then why did you agree to go out with me today?”
She gave him a clever smile. “I guess you could say I used you to break the monotony. It’s not often that I’m given the chance to get away from home or work. And have a free meal, to boot.”
He must have picked up on the teasing twinkle in her eyes because a wry grin slowly lifted one corner of his mouth. “Hmm. If an outing was all you wanted, you could’ve made a trip to the grocery store.”
Jazelle had to laugh. “Sorry, Connor. I was teasing about that last part. About breaking the monotony and the meal.”
“I guess I should be thankful for that much,” he said dryly.
The playful smile on her face vanished and she gently placed her hand on top of his. “Actually, I came out with you today because I thought I would enjoy your company. Plus, I knew I’d be safe.”
“Safe?” he repeated quizzically.
“Well, yes. You don’t want anything serious from me. And I don’t expect it from you. It’s all for fun.”
Jazelle had expected her explanation to bring a huge smile to his face. Instead, he merely looked at her as though she’d been trying to talk him through a trigonometry equation.
He dropped his hold on her hand and gazed pensively out at the lake. “Fun. Yeah,” he finally said. “You’re right. That’s all this is. Just fun for me and you and Raine.”
The sudden change in him perplexed her, but she wasn’t about to press him for an explanation. Frankly, his feelings shouldn’t matter to her one way or the other. After today, she doubted he’d ask her out again and, even if he did, she’d have to think long and hard before she’d accept a second date from him. Being with the man was too risky to her common sense.
But that didn’t mean she wanted to cut this time with him short. “I’m not sure how early you wanted to get back home, but before the day is over, there’s so
mething I’d like to do,” she told him. “That is, after Raine wakes and if you’re game.”
That brought his head back around to hers and he looked at her with interest. “What’s that?”
She gestured to the rocky bluff that rose behind them. “I thought it would be fun to hike up to the top of the bluff. I imagine the view is spectacular up there and Raine loves to climb.”
The look on his face was an odd mixture of happiness and relief.
“I’m not in any hurry to go home,” he assured her. “We’ll hike as far as you’d like. In fact, there are some Native American ruins not far behind this bluff. Raine might find a real arrowhead there. Would he like doing something like that?”
In spite of all the warnings about this man that had been swirling around in her head, she couldn’t stop herself from squeezing his hand and smiling. “You know what I’m beginning to think about you?” she asked.
“I couldn’t begin to guess.”
The smile on her face deepened. “You’ve been fibbing to me.”
His brows pulled together. “About what?”
“You said you weren’t good at interacting with kids. But I see differently. You instinctively seem to know the things Raine would enjoy.”
His expression turned sheepish. “That’s only because—like I told you the other night at Three Rivers—I was a little boy once. I’ve been trying to remember back that far and put myself in Raine’s place.”
“Well, you’re doing a good job of it.”
His gaze connected with hers and, for a split second, she forgot to breathe as she spotted something in his eyes that had nothing to do with sexual attraction. No, it was much more than a man wanting a woman. It was like he’d suddenly exposed an inner part of himself to her, and she couldn’t look away or think beyond the moment.
Her Man Behind the Badge Page 9
