“You haven’t mentioned to me that Raine was having a birthday.”
Joseph said, “Kid stuff isn’t your thing. Besides, you’ve put him and Jazelle out of your life. Haven’t you?”
Connor looked at him and suddenly it was like he’d been hit by lightning and he was seeing everything with crystal-clear vision. “No. I haven’t. Hearing Raine’s voice—oh, God, you’re right, Joe,” he said, his voice cracking with emotion. “It’s all very simple. I want Jazelle and Raine in my life. I don’t want to lose them.”
“It’s about damned time I heard you say that.” He poured a second cup of coffee and carried it over to Connor. “Here, drink up and finish your report. Then you’re going to come up with a plan to convince Jazelle that you’re a changed man.”
Could he convince her of that? He had to, Connor thought. Otherwise, his future would be nothing but a gray, lonely road to nowhere.
* * *
Later that night, Connor was sitting at the kitchen table, staring at his phone and trying to decide whether he should call Jazelle or simply drive to her house and surprise her.
The latter would probably better, he thought. At least that way he could catch her off guard and, hopefully, plead his case before she had time to think too hard on the matter.
What the hell, Connor, you want the woman to be certain of her feelings. And you want her to realize on her own that the two of you belong together. Not because you pressured or tricked her. Go to her, lay your heart out, and just see what happens.
For once Connor agreed with the voice in his head and, with that decision made, he headed to the bedroom for a clean shirt. Halfway there, he paused at the sound of a vehicle pulling to a stop in front of the house.
Living on the outskirts of Wilhoit, Connor rarely had visitors and those were mostly locals who knew he was a deputy and wanted him to go arrest someone they’d been feuding with. He wasn’t ready to deal with such nonsense tonight.
Turning on his heel, he went to the door and stepped onto the porch. The yard light illuminated most of the small lawn and part of his truck, which was parked at the north side of the house. Behind the truck was an older red truck that looked... Oh, Lord, it was Jazelle!
His heart chugging heavily in his chest, he walked down the steps and out to meet her. By the time he reached her vehicle, she was already standing on the ground, waiting for him.
“Hello, Connor.”
He stepped closer as questions swirled inside his head. “Jazelle, what—how did you find my house? You’ve never been here before.”
She smiled faintly and, as Connor’s gaze roamed over her, he realized he’d never seen anything so beautiful in his life. The sight of her was like the welcome vision of a rainbow after a terrible storm.
“Joe and Tessa gave me directions and I took a chance that you’d be here.”
“Oh.” He peered at her truck, but the interior light had already gone off, making it impossible for him to see inside. “Where’s Raine? Didn’t he come with you?”
“He’s at the Bar X, playing with Little Joe. Tessa and Joe offered to watch him while I came up here to see you.”
She didn’t sound angry or bitter. But he didn’t detect any cheerfulness, either. Did she come all this way just to give him another robot act? he wondered. What was she doing here?
“I see,” he said, even though he didn’t. “Well, uh, would you like to go in?”
“I would. Unless I’m interrupting something important.”
The only important thing to Connor was making her understand just how much he loved her. And though, he wanted to yank her into his arms and kiss the breath out of her, he figured that wasn’t the right way to go about it.
“You’re not interrupting.” Clasping a hand around her upper arm, he urged her toward the house. “The ground is uneven, so watch your step. Something has been burrowing holes in the yard.”
She didn’t say anything and as they made their way onto the porch and into the house, Connor feared this visit might prove to be even more painful than the last one. If so, he didn’t think he could survive it.
Inside the living room, Jazelle stood in the middle of the room while Connor turned on a pair of lamps. As she gazed at the serviceable furniture and the clutter of beer bottles, coffee cups and piles of paper files scattered around, he could only imagine what she was thinking.
“Sit anywhere you like,” he said as he picked up a pair of cowboy boots lying in front of the couch and set them out of the way. “Sorry about the mess. We’ve been working overtime and I’m not too good of a housekeeper.”
“No need to apologize,” she said as she sank onto the middle of the couch.
“Would you like coffee or a soda?” he offered.
“No, thanks. I just need to say what I came to say.”
Something that couldn’t have been said over the phone? Like what?
Biting back the questions, he dared to take a seat next to her. “I’m a little confused, Jazelle. Is something wrong with Raine?”
A pained look came over her face. “No. Raine is perfectly fine.”
He let out a breath of relief. “Then you forgot to tell me something the last time we talked?”
“I don’t want to think about the last time we talked,” she said bluntly. “That wasn’t a pleasant time for me. And, frankly, I’ve been in a horrible state ever since.”
What was she trying to say? That splitting from him had made her miserable? Or was he reading far too much in her words?
If possible, his heart thumped even faster. “I haven’t exactly been...happy,” he told her, thinking that was the understatement of the century. These past few days he hadn’t even been human.
Her nostrils flared as she drew in a deep breath and Connor noticed she looked unusually pale and drawn. The idea that she’d been suffering over anything made him want to pull her into his arms and simply hold her tight.
She said, “Uh, this evening I was checking my phone for any missed calls and I figured out that Raine had been talking with you. I want to apologize for that.”
“Why? You don’t want him to talk with me?”
She groaned. “I don’t mind if he talks to you. But... I don’t want him bothering you. Especially if you’re at work.”
“He wasn’t bothering me. I enjoyed our talk.” How could he explain that just the sound of the child’s voice had jerked Connor out of the miserable fog he’d been living in?
Her gaze lifted to his and Connor suddenly felt like his insides were melting to a worthless puddle of nothing.
“You did?”
“Yes, I did. He invited me to his birthday party.”
She blew out a long breath. “I know. That’s the main reason I’m here. I realize my son put you on the spot and I’m sorry about that. I know you told him you’d come to the party, but you really don’t have to. I’ll make some excuse for you not being there.”
At that moment every doubt, every fear, Connor had ever felt about being a husband and father drained out of him and as he looked into Jazelle’s blue eyes he was amazed at how clearly he could see the three of them together as a family.
“No,” he said firmly. “Raine doesn’t need excuses. He needs me.”
Her mouth fell open. “You? What does that mean?”
His hands gently clasped her shoulders. “Raine needs me as his father. And I hope—I pray—that you need me as your husband.”
Shock glazed her eyes and then her head turned back and forth with disbelief. “Husband? Connor—what are you saying?”
“That I love you. That I want you to be my wife. That I want Raine to be our son and I want us to give him siblings.”
She jumped to her feet and covered her face with both hands. “Why are you saying this to me now? Is this some sort of cruel joke?”
Rising, Connor g
ently pulled her into the circle of his arms. “I’ve never been more serious in my life, Jazelle. You’ll probably find this hard to believe, but before you drove up, I was getting ready to drive down to your place and plead for you to forgive me.”
Tilting her head back, she looked up at him. “Forgive you? For what?”
“For being a dope, a jerk, a coward and several more things, including idiot. The other night when we agreed to call it quits, I knew deep down that I was lying to you—to myself. I knew then that you and Raine had become my life and I didn’t want to lose you—but I went on with that silly agreement because I thought it was the right and smart thing to do. And you seemed determined that...well...you didn’t want me around anymore. I don’t blame you if you still feel that way. But I’m hoping you were doing a bit of lying yourself that night.”
Tears filled her eyes and rolled unheeded down her face. “Oh, Connor, I didn’t mean a word I was saying. All along, I had to fight to keep from throwing my arms around you and telling you how much I loved you. How much I wanted you to believe in yourself and in me.
“This afternoon, Maureen made me promise that I’d have a talk with you and tell you that I’d give you the time you needed to get used to the idea of being a family man.” A radiant smile suddenly spread across her face. “I always knew she was a wise woman, I just never realized how wise until now.”
With his hands against her back, he drew her tighter to him. “Joe said something to me this morning that struck hard. He said that he and Tessa weren’t perfect. That there was no perfect.”
“Smart man,” Jazelle said. “They’re not perfect, but they’re happy and that’s what I want us to be, Connor. We’ll both make mistakes. That’s to be expected because we’re human. But we’ll figure them out—together.”
“Together. That’s a very beautiful word. Almost as beautiful as you, my darling.” He lowered his head to hers and let his lips convey all the aching loneliness he’d felt these past days without her, and all the love he promised to give her in the future. “You know, I think Raine’s birthday party would be the perfect time to announce our engagement. If you can get away from work tomorrow, we’ll drive up to Prescott and find a ring.”
Her eyes glowed up at him. “I don’t need a fancy ring, Connor. Anything will do just as long as you put it on my finger.”
“Say, you’ve just given me an idea. The Broken Spur has some trinket machines,” he teased. “I think I can spare a few quarters until we get one with a ring. They’re adjustable, too. So we won’t have to worry about sizing.”
Laughing, she hugged him tightly. “Reeva and the Hollisters are going to be thrilled for us. But not nearly as much as Raine will be when he hears you’re going to be his daddy. What a birthday gift that’s going to be.” A sly smile on her face, she began to unbutton his shirt. “Right now, I think you and I should make the most of this quiet time, don’t you?”
Chuckling under his breath, he lowered his lips to hers. “And take advantage of our babysitters?”
She smiled against his kiss. “I don’t think Joe and Tessa will mind at all.”
Epilogue
Six weeks later, on a cold October night, the den in the Three Rivers Ranch house was filled with family and friends enjoying appetizers, drinks and plenty of conversation. Normally, Jazelle would be scurrying here and there, making sure everyone had their favorite cocktail in hand, but tonight was different. Tonight she and Connor were the guests of honor.
“I honestly don’t know why Maureen insisted on giving us a rehearsal dinner for our wedding tomorrow,” Jazelle told Connor as they stood to one side of the crackling fire in the massive fireplace. “We didn’t even have a rehearsal. And she’s gone to the expense of hiring outside help to deal with tonight and the reception tomorrow.”
“We didn’t need a rehearsal,” Connor said with a grin, his gaze traveling over the beautiful image she made in an emerald-green dress, her blond hair coiled into an elegant chignon. “All we’re going to do is stand in front of the minister and repeat our vows. Tessa will be your maid of honor, Joe is my best man, and Raine, the ring bearer. Everyone already knows their part.”
Connor made it sound simple, but in truth, Maureen and her daughters-in-law had put hours of work into planning the wedding, not to mention the expense. The event would take place tomorrow at two o’clock in Wickenburg at the small church Jazelle had attended since childhood. Afterward, the married couple and the wedding guests would return here to Three Rivers for a reception complete with plenty of champagne, a massive five-tiered cake Reeva had already baked, and a live band for dancing.
“To be honest, Connor, I’m overwhelmed by the generosity of the Hollisters. It wasn’t their place to do all of this for us.”
Snaking an arm around the back of her waist, Connor hugged her close to his side. “No. But they see us as family. And they want this time for us to be special.”
It couldn’t be more special, Jazelle thought as she glanced around the room at everyone who’d come to celebrate with them. Even her father and his family had driven up from Oracle to be there for the special day. Unfortunately, her mother had refused to attend any of the wedding events. She was still labeling Jazelle a fool for marrying a man who wore a badge and set himself up as a target.
As though Connor could read her thoughts, he said, “I’m glad your father was able to be here with you. I was thinking I wouldn’t like him. But I do. He seems like a stand-up guy.”
“He’s like the rest of us, Connor, he’s not perfect, but he tries. I think that’s why Mom is so bitter. She hates herself for letting him slip away.”
“You could be right,” he said. “I’m just sorry she made the choice to not be with you at such a special time in your life. I hope that doesn’t make you sad.”
She shook her head. “Her stubbornness isn’t going to make me sad. Tomorrow we’ll be married. So if I’m acting giddy, don’t blame it on my cocktail. You’re the reason I can’t stop smiling.”
He bent his head just enough to press a kiss on her cheek. “Joe’s been accusing me of going around with a goofy grin on my face. Not exactly the appropriate expression when you’re dealing with lawbreakers, but I can’t help it. Ever since you agreed to marry me, I’ve been walking on a cloud.”
She said, “Speaking of Joe and Tessa, I’m still blown away with their plans for us. Who builds someone a house for a wedding gift?”
As soon as the couple had learned Jazelle and Connor were engaged, they had immediately begun making plans to build them a house on the Bar X, not far from their own ranch house. They reasoned that Jazelle needed to be close to her work on Three Rivers, and with Connor and Joseph being partners, it would also be a perfect setup for their jobs. Not to mention the added benefit of having Raine and Little Joe grow up close together.
Connor shook his head. “I’ve learned long ago not to argue with Joe. I can’t win. But what he doesn’t know is that you and I will eventually pay them back for the cost of the house. I realize he and Tessa are wealthy and they also have plenty of land to spare, but that makes no difference. I want for us to pay our own way.”
She said, “It’s not money they want from us, Connor. All they want is for us to share our happiness and our lives with them.”
“That will be easy enough to do.”
He was nuzzling another kiss on her cheek when Emily-Ann and Taggart walked up to join them.
Jazelle quickly hugged her very pregnant friend. “I’m so glad you felt like coming tonight, Emily-Ann,” she told her. “I hope you can make it to the wedding tomorrow.”
Taggart settled a loving smile on his wife’s face. “She’s worried her water will break in front of everyone. I told her no one cares about that. We all just want the little guy to get here safely.”
“Or little girl,” Emily-Ann corrected him then, laughing, placed a hand on top of her ro
unded belly. “Right now I feel like there’re two babies kicking around in there.”
“Emily-Ann, I hope to heck that’s not a screwdriver you’re sipping on,” Blake said as he and Joseph joined the group.
Rolling her eyes at the ranch manager, Emily-Ann held up the fluted glass. “Pure orange juice without so much as a sprinkle of sugar,” she assured him.
“Good. I want my godchild to be healthy and strong.” Blake winked at Taggart then turned his attention to Connor. “How’s the husband-to-be holding up?”
Joseph let out a good-natured groan. “Do you need to ask, brother? Connor is going to wear that goofy grin for the rest of his life.”
The laughter around the happy group was suddenly interrupted with the ring of Joseph’s cell phone.
“Don’t answer it, Joe,” Blake teased. “You and Connor might have to go to work.”
Ignoring him, Joseph pulled the phone out and, after one glance at the ID, promptly answered the call.
“Yes, this is Joseph Hollister,” he said to the person on the other end. “Yes, I remember. We’ve been hoping to hear from you.”
Sensing the call might be important, everyone in the group began to exchange curious glances.
After a short pause, Joseph said, “Yes. We can do that. Take whatever time you need. Just call me when you’re ready. Yes. And thank you.”
Joseph hung up the phone and turned a stunned look on the group clustered around him. “This is amazing,” he said. “I’m celebrating my best friend’s upcoming nuptials and now this call. It has to be a sign of good things to come.”
Still grinning, Connor asked, “What? The two of us are being promoted?”
“Even better,” Joe answered. “That was Ginny Patterson on the phone. Seems as though she’s had a change of heart and she’s ready to talk with us.”
“No joke?” Blake asked with disbelief.
Her Man Behind the Badge Page 20
