by Anne Conley
“When it became apparent the new guy wanted to marry Brandy and adopt Maddie, I fought with everything I had left. Brandy’s lawyer took me for all of it. He tied me up for years, not only taking my assets, but he made me out to be a complete monster. I lost my job. The courts think I am a drug-using, wife beating, womanizer. She has managed to file so many grievances against me there is no way I’ll ever get to see my daughter again.”
Connor shoved his hands deep in his pockets, apparently to keep from pulling his hair out. He turned to Jessie, and the pain in his eyes tore a sizable chink in her ever-crumbling resolve.
“For a while, I tried to get on with my life, dating other women. But Brandy would always find out about them, and make up lies about them for the court system. I don’t know how she got away with it, but she did. She hired a private investigator to dig up any dirt on me he could. Some Jason something guy." He looked at Jessie, and she felt goosebumps rise on her arms at the recognition of the weird guy from the open house. "Anyway, according to her, I’ve dated prostitutes, heroine addicts, and ex-cons. If she can’t use them in court against me, she’ll just call them and tell them lies about me. So I gave up on having any romantic interests. Maddie was more important to me than having a sex life, anyway.”
Connor plopped himself down in the chair next to Jessie, and reached for her hand. Jessie didn’t resist. She had missed the feel of his calloused hands wrapped around hers, and he obviously needed the comfort now. Silent, she allowed him to grip her hand.
“That’s why I started the Facebook page. Those are the only pictures I have of my daughter, and she’s twelve years old.” He paused and took a deep breath. “In six years, she’ll be eighteen, and hopefully will wonder about her real father. I’ve managed to fight the adoption, so hopefully she’ll realize I’m out here, somewhere. That’s why I started the restaurant, so I’ll have something she can be proud of. I just want her to know me, and hopefully like me. That’s always been the most important thing to me.” His story ended on a pleading note, beseeching her to forgive him.
Connor stopped talking, and looked at Jessie. She had watched him talk, her heart breaking for him, but she kept her face neutral.
When he looked at her, she could see the grief in his eyes, and whatever part of her heart she was keeping icy for him melted.
“Until I met you, Jessie.”
He let go of her, and rested his head in his hands. The absence of his warm grip told her what she needed to know more than his words did. She missed him.
"She called me." Jessie said, quietly, unsure why she was resisting the pull so badly.
Connor's head jerked up, and his pained expression melted any tenacity she told herself she was holding onto. She squeezed his hand.
"I told her to mind her own business."
He barked a laugh that sounded harsh to her ears, and kissed the palm of her hand, before laying it on the table to resume his speech, while tracing the lines on her palm.
“I’ve never cared about anybody the way I care about you. The morning after I tucked you in for that nap…The last time we talked, I had decided you needed to know all of it. Luke is the only other person who knows the whole story. My parents just thought I went through an early mid-life crisis. They have no idea. I’ve never told another woman, because I’ve never cared enough.”
“But I’ve missed you so much, Jessie. I love you Jessie. I don’t know how it happened, but it did. I’ve fallen in love with you.” He raised her hand to his lips again, as if he was replenishing a life-source with her flesh.
Jessie sighed, succumbing to the sensations that his mouth on her flesh aroused in her.
Connor continued. "I know that you think you're bad with relationships, but I think you're just afraid to get hurt. I am, too. That's human, Jessie. I've decided to fight for you. I'm not letting you go because you think I'm a bad father, a liar, or whatever…I'm here, and you're here, and we're here together. We're together, and I'm fighting for that."
Jessie finally managed to speak. "I was pissed, because I’d fallen for you, too. Hard, Connor. I fell hard.” Jessie was pissed that he had let her think they could have a picture perfect relationship, helping each other, loving each other, and then his demon had shown up, and she couldn't deal with it. She was having a hard time keeping the tears at bay. She had spent the better part of two weeks holding them back, but here they were, falling at will. “And it hurt.”
“Do you at least understand why I didn’t tell you about Maddie at first?”
“Yeah, I guess.” She admitted, wiping her eyes with the back of her hands. “I would have understood, you know? I don’t have a heart of stone.”
"You have every right to be pissed. Be pissed. Just don't shut me out, Jessie." He stood and walked around the table, stopping in front of her. “I'm going to hold you, now.” She just looked at him. “Stand.”
She knew she shouldn’t do it. She knew as soon as he embraced her, she would be done for. She knew as soon as she felt his hands on her, she would need him again. Like she needed air.
Connor held out his massive hand, those tapered fingers reaching for her. Reluctantly, she reached up and allowed his enormous hand to envelop hers. He pulled Jessie up, and hauled her into a crushing hug. His colossal arms wrapped around her, shrouding her in a security she hadn’t felt since the last time he held her.
Jessie inhaled his scent, a mixture of herbs and man, a heady odor that sent her reeling. She sighed into his chest, listening to his heart pound in her ear, feeling the rise and fall of his breathing.
She understood that here, in his arms, she was home.
Slowly, Jessie raised her head, afraid of her own overwhelming emotions. She looked up into Connor’s cobalt blue eyes. His hand came up and cupped her cheek, his thumb touching the streak left by her tears. She tilted her head into his hand, feeling the warmth of his palm. “I’m sorry, Connor.” She whispered to him.
His eyes widened in disbelief. “What on earth for?”
“For getting so angry at you.”
“You had every right to be angry. I’m the one who is sorry.”
She shook her head. “No. I had a right to be a little angry, but I chose to stay angry, and not listen to you. I didn’t even listen when Kathy tried to talk to me." An inappropriate giggle erupted from deep in her chest. "And Summer, and Alyssa." Biting her lip, she looked up at Connor, again. "I blew this way out of proportion, and I’m sorry.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled his body closer to hers. “I missed you, too.”
His arms tightened around her, and they stood there, holding each other in silence, just enjoying the nearness of each other.
Finally, Connor’s husky voice broke the silence. “Is your house haunted?”
Confused, Jessie responded, “No.”
“Are you expecting any company?”
“Um…no. What--?”
Connor’s mouth covered hers in an instant, kissing her, his mouth filled with a sudden need to take what he’d been promised weeks ago. His tongue swept across her lips, as if willing them to open. Jessie grasped his intentions, and willingly complied. She had missed his kisses, his desire. She thrust her tongue against his, doing her best to express her longing for him. Her arms tightened around his neck and his hands went to her backside, lifting her against him. She could feel his erection through his jeans, and suddenly there was nothing on this planet that could stop her from having him, right now.
Impatient, she yanked his tee shirt over his head, and then stopped briefly to stare at his magnificent chest. He grinned at her, then lowered his mouth to her lips again, devouring them. Her hands went to his belt buckle, then the snap to his jeans. When she got to the zipper, his hand covered hers, stilling them.
She sighed exasperatedly, “What now? Are we really going to stop this?”
“Not a chance, sweetheart. I just wanted to make sure…”
“Make sure of what?” Jessie was impatient, and over all the talki
ng.
“That you want to do this.”
“I want you Connor. Right here. Right now. Now, if we’re finished with all the damn talking, I’d like to have you please.”
“Yes ma’am.” He pulled her shirt over her head, and then unclasped her bra. He spent a little time toying with her breasts, until she was gasping and panting, then he undid her shorts, pulling them to the floor along with her panties.
They stood there, looking at each other’s naked bodies for a moment before they were together again, kissing and nibbling, and gasping for breath. Connor reached around and kneaded Jessie’s backside briefly before pulling her up against him again. He turned and walked to the wall behind them, leaning her against it, and wrapping her legs around his waist. He paused at her entrance, looking at her expectantly.
“Please, Connor.” She begged him. When he entered her in one slow push, Jessie was overwhelmed at the feeling of fullness, the sensations of wholeness, The sense of oneness. As Connor thrust in and out, in rapid strokes, gasping in her ear, Jessie felt herself quicken. She could feel the waves building quickly, overwhelming her. Connor thrust faster and harder, and Jessie grasped his shoulders, as she could do nothing else but succumb to the warm vibrations, which overtook her. Shuddering convulsively, she let Connor raise her legs, still pinning her against the wall, until they were over his arms. He was able to thrust deeper, and Jessie couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think. She had never felt anything like this before, and she didn’t know how to respond. So she surrendered to it.
Each thrust brought her to unimaginable heights, and Jessie was unable to restrain herself. Her gasps turned to moans, until at last her moans had turned to unintelligible words, then ragged screams. Her fingers clenched so tightly on his shoulders she was sure she was leaving marks, but she couldn’t stop. Not until she had crested the wave, and come crashing down.
She felt the pulses of Connor’s climax as he groaned her name, and his hold on her weakened. As she felt his grip fade, they both slid to the floor, in a puddle of spent desire, panting.
“Wow.” Jessie breathed.
Connor tightened his grip, seemingly unable to speak. He kissed her, then. A gentle, caressing kiss that grew in passion and intensity. Connor gathered Jessie into his arms and picked her up, carrying her to the bedroom.
This time their lovemaking was slow, gentle, and not as urgent. As much as Connor had fantasized about taking Jessie against a wall, he felt guilty for being so rough with her. He honestly didn’t want her to think that was how sex with him would be all the time. So he resolved to show her another side of his lovemaking abilities, rusty as they were.
Connor began by showering Jessie’s smooth skin with kisses, reveling in her warmth and softness. He sampled every bit of her flesh, tasting summertime. He could feel her tremble beneath his touch, and could hear her whimpering with need. As he nibbled and kissed, his hands stroked, long languid strokes over her thighs, her stomach, her arms. Jessie gripped his shoulders, as he roamed over her body, and her touch, combined with the feel of her underneath him made Connor lightheaded.
He suckled a breast, savoring the firm plumpness in his mouth, listening to Jessie’s gasps. His hand toyed with her other breast, tweaking the nipple to a stiff peak, before his mouth switched to cover it with its warmth. Moving down, his fingers found Jessie’s warm folds, and circled the nub there. Jessie moaned and squirmed under him, and he stopped laving her breast to watch her.
Seeing her face fixed in rapture, Connor’s body filled with a sense of power. He had the ability to bring this woman so much pleasure, and for now, she had given him the control. He was determined to use it.
As his fingers continued circling, he focused his attentions on the apex of her thighs. He slowly pushed one finger inside, feeling for the rough spot just inside her walls. She moaned when he found it, and he softly curled his finger against it, continuing to rub her silky pearl.
Jessie hands went to his head, curling in his hair, absently pulling. The sensation sent a sharp sense of desire to Connor’s loins.
He eased a second finger inside of her, joining the first, and continued to stroke and curl them against her pleasure spots. Jessie arched her hips, blindly seeking more. He increased his pressure and was rewarded with an almost immediate contraction of muscles around his fingers. Jessie’s breathing had turned to ragged gasps, as she struggled for air through her climax.
Connor covered her mouth with his, imparting a kiss filled with need and desire. He pressed his painfully erect cock inside her through the fading contractions, struggling not to lose himself to her waning peak.
Slowly, he pushed in, stilling himself when he had reached his hilt. He raised himself up on his arms and looked down at Jessie’s face, seeing her eyes open to him, and a glorious smile light up her face.
Connor wished he could be here forever, inside this woman, feeling her warmth around his essence, watching her beautiful face, glazed with desire, looking at him.
She shifted her hips, urging him to start moving, so he complied. Slowly moving in and out, his movements stroked her heat, building a fire within. Connor lingered inside her, intoxicating himself with her warmth. As he slowly rocked back and forth, he took pleasure in her moans of satisfaction, seeking the inevitable bliss of their union. He was making Jessie his own. Connor had never experiences this level of gratification with anyone else, and he knew he was home.
Connor continued his movements over Jessie, as he rained kisses on her face and neck. Jessie's hands stroked his back in long, slow caresses up his spine, then raking her fingernails down. The sensations of her skin and nails on his back brought a sweet pleasure/pain, and almost made him lose control again. He forced restraint into his motions, because he wanted this to last forever.
Jessie's heady summertime scent was his final undoing. As he kissed her shoulder, Connor inhaled deeply, and the combination of her scent, with her moans and touches sent him reeling. All control was lost.
Connor could feel her responding to his thrusts, and he managed to hold himself until he could feel her muscles contract one more time around him, milking him to a heart-stopping climax.
He collapsed on top of Jessie, ragged breaths coming from them both, as she curled her legs around his, effectively pinning him on top of her. Her arms came around his neck, and they lay that way until they were both asleep.
Sometime later, Connor woke up to find the bed empty. It was still dark outside, and when he looked at the clock, he saw it was two o’clock in the morning. He walked through the house, unable to find Jessie anywhere inside. He finally discovered her outside, on her porch, sitting in a rocking chair.
“Mind if I join you?” He asked quietly.
“No. Go ahead.” She nodded, not looking at him.
He lowered himself into the other rocker, next to hers, reaching out for her hand. He clasped it in his, bringing it to his mouth for a kiss. “What’s going on, Sweetheart?”
“Nothing. I’m just thinking.”
“What are you thinking about?” He prodded.
She sighed heavily, and Connor sensed her withdrawing from him. He gut clenched, and he squeezed her hand reassuringly, waiting for her to open up to him.
“It’s just that…I’ve never spent the night with anyone before.” She said quietly. “I’m not used to it.”
Connor was confused. “But, I thought you said you brought men home all the time?”
“I did. But they always left after they got what they wanted. Nobody’s ever just slept with me before. It’s strange.”
Realization dawned on Connor. “Ahh…” He reached for Jessie, bringing her into his lap and clutching her tightly to his chest. “Jessie, I’m never going to leave you after we make love, because I want so much more than that. If I were to leave after getting what I want, I would never leave. Because I want you.” He kissed her shoulder, clad in nothing but a tank top strap in the moonlight.
She relaxed against him. “So, you’ll
know what to talk about in the morning? Because I have no clue.”
He chuckled into her back. “I’ll think of something. I promise.” He rested his chin on her shoulder, and held her in silence for a moment, before breaking it. “It really is beautiful here at night. We didn’t have stars like this in Houston.”
“Yeah. I come out here a lot at night. Something about the stars make all of my own problems seem so insignificant. It usually makes me feel better.”
Connor felt better after telling Jessie about Brandy and Madison, but he knew that she also had issues of her own to work through. Taking a bracing breath, and wondering if this was the right time to ask about any of it, he said, "You know, you can talk to me about your problems, Jessie. I'm here." His voice was barely above a whisper.
She seemed to think about that statement, and didn't respond for a long time. Connor just held her in his lap, kissing her shoulder, tasting her sweetness. He could feel her tremble, although he wasn't sure what caused it--fear, desire, or pain?
Finally, she responded. "My dad was an alcoholic. I've told you that already. I pretty much raised myself. I mean, he was there, but not there. You know?" Connor nodded against her shoulder in encouragement.
"I cooked for myself, did my own laundry, stuff like that. It wasn't that big of a deal, it's just what I was used to. Dad never went to any of my school stuff, or anything. And I was okay with that." She was quiet again, gathering her thoughts.
"I wasn't abused or anything. He just didn't seem to care that I was there, you know? Anyway, I learned a long time ago, not to expect anything from him." She sighed, almost a groan. "I think that I just learned from Dad that men couldn't give me happiness, so I never really expected much from men, period. Except sex. I didn't learn that from Dad, he wasn't like that. But I learned that sex could be fun, and that's what I got from men. But I didn't expect anything in return. So that's why I'm so screwed up, Connor." Her body stiffened with her final declaration, and Connor squeezed her softly.
