by Mike McKay
***
We are returning home at half past four. Kate sits behind me, on the bike's cargo platform, holding her skate and a brand-new Chinese wisdom scroll. ‘Apparent is not always real.’
The scroll contains the final piece of evidence – the one we will never use. If you crack open the lower bamboo stick of the scroll, few inches of paper within have ten fingerprints – from the body presently decomposing in thick mud at the bottom of the irrigation ditch. Mister Lee has told us so, but neither Kate nor I want to check his words. The fingerprints may or may not reveal the spy's identity. But breaking such a handsome piece of art for the useless identity check? No, not us. The spy died of his own stupidity. He believed in free energy. Better he believed in free cheese in a mousetrap.
“Are you positive Victor Chen is going to be released?” Kate asks.
“I have no doubts. Woxman has a dead case. Victor is smart and knows to keep his mouth shut. There is no dead body and no fingerprints on the gut-driver… In four days, an e-mail comes, saying that Mister Chen Te-Sheng is alive and well, but has his wallet picked, let say, in Dallas. The DA will surely decide not to play clown in front of the jury. After the mail, Victor will be out of the slammer in minutes.”
“We are committing an obstruction of justice right now. It's a criminal offense, you know?”
“You are talking garbage. Nobody needs to know Lee has told us everything. If worse comes to worst, I will state under oath you had a nasty attack of your phantom pain, and we went to see a traditional Chinese doctor.”
“You will be lying. Under oath.”
“But you had a pain attack.”
“Not a single bit.”
“What? So you lied to Mister Lee?”
“I didn't. He asked if I had the pain and I told him ‘Yes, sometimes.’ ‘Sometimes’ doesn't mean ‘now’.”
“So you knew he was a doctor?”
“Not necessary a doctor, but positively a medicine man.”
“How?”
“I buy my Wonder-blend at the Chinese medicine shop. The very moment you opened the shack door, I recognized the smell.”
“Awesome! You know, Lee played the same trick on Woxman. He told him: ‘I have it! Looks like a body!’ The man did not lie a single word of it! He had it, and it was the body! Our Woxman was standing one foot away, looking at the rotten snag. He assumed that he knew better and didn't lean over to check it himself. The brand-new Deputy Investigator deserves his dead case.”
“Forget it,” Kate playfully slaps me on the back. I know it's her quarter-strength slap. “Deputy Wile E. Coyote! For us, the case is closed! By the way, are you aware we, once again, have no water in our jerrycan?”
“Believe me, I've noticed. No worries, Road Runner. At sunrise, your trusty Wile E. Coyote will be at the water well. We can survive without your dream plumbing.”
“What about your dream king-size camper? You said: Winnebago? Trip to California?”
“Do not worry, Road Runner. The tough through-Meltdown Navy hands will see the Pacific Ocean. Eventually. Do you mind riding there on the back of my bike?”
###
Dear Reader! Thank you for reading my book.
Would you be so kind to leave a review at your favorite retailer site, or at least rate this story? I am very interested to know your opinion: positive, negative, or neutral, does not matter.
Houston, 2030: With Proper Legwork is a story-size spin-off of my novel Houston, 2030: The Year Zero. If you like this book, you may want to check the novel too. Currently I am working on the second novel in the sequence: a prequel called Houston, 2015: Miss Uncertainty.
Back in 2009, the beta-readers of The Year Zero asked me: are you sure this Meltdown thingy of yours is going to happen? This year, two beta-readers asked independently: how do you know it will be called the Meltdown? I must admit, I have no idea how ‘this thingy’ is going to be called. It could be called GFC-2. Or the Great Depression-2. Or Peak Everything. Or ‘Holy crap! This thingy is here!’ Further on, I have no idea if the ‘Holy crap! This thingy is here!’ event is going to happen exactly in 2016. In Eastern and Southern Europe, the energy crisis is presently on-going (The Year Zero has placed these events in 2014!) If we are very lucky, the collapse in the United States will be delayed till the mid-twenties. Or it may come in 2017. How about tomorrow?
I am not in the business of making prophecies, because I am not qualified. Can I predict that Ebola virus not only finds its way to Europe and America, but also learns how to defeat the WHO protective suit protocols? Hey, who cares about Ebola? I fail to foresee that our Commander-in-Chief is going to introduce those new coffee-cup military salutes! I don't believe in divination. I believe in geology and physics. You may dream all you want about fitting the present opulent lifestyle on the finite planet. The Mother-Earth knows better. It will take care of your ambitions. The Peak Oil is just a starter.
But wait! The Peak Oil is a myth! The latest BP World Energy Report says… Dear reader, may I remind you that the Enron's Year-2000 Report told the investors the company with twenty thousand employees, 68-year history and the annual revenue of almost $111 bln (in the full-weight year-2000 dollars) had an exceptionally bright future? And what about the respective end-of-year reports from the late Lehman Brothers, Merrill Lynch, Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac, and other such wacho-nachos and frodo-motors? And the BP. It's not British Petroleum (no more!); it's Beyond Petroleum, which is quite telling. These are the very same finest professionals who gave the United States its Deepwater Horizon, an environmental marvel rivaled only by the beauty of Chernobyl, Bhopal, and Fukushima-Daiichi.
Perhaps, you are telling yourself the author is paranoid. Perhaps, I am. In such case, dear reader, pick a nice fantasy novel, with elves and goblins (yes, I like those too!) Your sword will be sharp and quick, your arrows will fly true and strong! And the Meltdown – Oh, holy crap! – will come totally unexpected.
May the future be kind to you and to all you love.
Mike McKay, author.
2014
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Footnotes
[1]“Order though Law, Justice with Mercy.” The Houston Police Department motto. [Back to text]
[2]A personal stamp, used in China, Korea, and Japan instead of or together with the person's signature. [Back to text]
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Contents
Katherine Bowen, Records Clerk, Former Mermaid.
Kim Den Gir, Deputy, Harris County Sheriff’s Office.
