“No. But suddenly it’s chilly.” He wanted to see how far he could push her and tried to keep his face straight.
She raised a brow. “By all means, light a fire and I’ll get you that drink.” She opened the door to a cabinet that housed a small bar and poured two drinks. Her expression was faultless in its innocent concern for his comfort as she returned to hand him his drink. But he wasn’t fooled, and he knew damned well she was onto his game and playing him perfectly, not about to give him any satisfaction. He finished lighting a small fire and sat again.
“Here’s to a quick return of the fire in those eyes of yours.” The curve of her lips was automatic and then she downed her brandy in one gulp. He couldn’t help the quirk of his brow and the smile that returned to his face. He put his drink down, untouched.
She couldn’t tell whether or not it was the fire he lit in the fireplace reflecting in the blue of his eyes or something that lit them from within. Was he playing games with her or was he angry after all at her for going to the game with Mark? It was impossible for her to tell, but she wasn’t going to let him think she was worried about it.
“Why did you invite Mark to the game?” He said this so casually that she was almost surprised.
Roxanne tried to keep the amusement out of her voice, but she couldn’t completely. “I told you it was business. Besides—he invited me. I needed to talk to him about something important.” Then she added, aware that it sounded pompous, “My work is important at the hospital. A lot of people count on me.” The thought of Dr. Oki’s lost funding dangled in her mind.
“I see.”
She knew he did not see.
Barry’s expression had turned quite serious as he contemplated her. He rose from the chair and crossed the room again to stare out at the sea. It was a compelling vision, she knew, with the waves endlessly crashing onto the rocks.
She was not going to add to her explanation and she most certainly did not intend to apologize. She was glad to see the wry grin return to his face as he turned toward her again.
“You have quite a view.”
“So you’ve pointed out.” She rose from her chair now, walked to him and faced him. Her voice was quiet when she continued. “You can leave if you want,” she lied with her blank look of casual detachment. Only the tense knot in her stomach could give her away as she fought the instinct to grit her teeth. She watched him as he coolly thought it over. She would have thought it was no big deal to him, but he took a bit too long to make up his mind.
“If I left now I’d never forgive myself in the morning.” Etched in his left cheek was the dimple that cracked his lopsided grin.
Roxanne let the sudden pleasure show on her face and she laughed. “I’d have a little trouble forgiving you myself.”
He came to her then.
Chapter 6
“I CAN’T do it, Roxy,” Mark said, turning to her.
“Why? This is a wonderful cause, Mark. Exactly in line with your corporate gift plan. I hope you’re not letting personal feelings interfere. It’s not because of last night, because of Barry?” Roxanne asked. She sat in a small chair in Mark’s hotel room. She arrived ahead of lunch to get their business discussion out of the way. But it was not going as she expected. It was not going well at all.
“In a way, it is personal. You’ve made it pretty clear all along you can’t give me what I want.” Mark looked down, everywhere except at her, and she found it exasperating. She desperately wanted to close this deal. She had not anticipated this resistance from Mark, at least not a brick wall.
Her spine straightened with determination. Her mind was spinning with thoughts of Dr. Oki and the lab and the children. Now without thinking of anything else but her immediate goal of raising funds for those children, Roxanne saw her opening and plunged in.
“Oh? I wouldn’t be so sure. What is it that you want, Mark?” She held her breath, not sure how bold he might be.
Mark inhaled deeply.
“I want, more than anything else, a commitment from you. A personal commitment.”
She recoiled. The suggestion felt like an assault. She would never give up that one thing he wanted: herself. She froze. She couldn’t think what to say. Her emotions warred over the need to run from the threat of entanglement with him—almost a clone of Don in his doggedness—versus her need to raise money for the hospital. She decided to stall.
“Our relationship hasn’t reached that point. Maybe…” She looked at him without a smile. She couldn’t say it. Couldn’t fool either of them into thinking he had a chance. She was not that desperate.
“You know as well as I do that our relationship is never going anywhere. I can’t give you this promo. I’m leaving town on the next flight out. I think it will be a long time before I come back.” He turned from her now.
“There’s no need to leave town over this. I never thought you were the type of man to let personal feelings get in the way of professional judgment.” She was appalled. He’d been her friend and he was turning his back on her now. Literally. She felt like she’d swallowed a brick.
He laughed. “I know how this looks. But the truth is, I’ve let my feelings for you interfere with my so-called professional judgment far too long. Your charms have gotten you a lot further than your cause alone could have. Professionally speaking, my company should spend their charitable dollars on much broader, far-reaching projects than a single research unit. And I can’t work with you anymore,” he said.
He was breaking all the rules of their relationship. They were supposed to be business friends. They’d known each other for years. Even in the face of losing the much needed funding from this deal, she felt the loss of his friendship even more. But she saw his pain and knew she had to let him go.
“I’m sorry, Mark. You won’t have to work with me anymore. I’ll assign someone else to oversee our joint project from now on,” she said quietly.
“Don’t bother. The only reason I would have stayed involved with that project would be to see you. It will be a long time before I’m back in Boston.” She meant to move, but she didn’t. She meant to speak, but she couldn’t. The brick in her gut rose to her throat. She thanked God that Mark had his back to her as she wiped her trembling hands across her cheek and the spilled tears. She had to let him go.
“I’ll get someone to replace me when you come back.” Hoarseness choked her voice.
He turned to look at her. His eyes glistened with sadness. He straightened himself as if with effort. “No one could replace you, Roxy,” he said and walked out the door of his own hotel room.
Roxanne stood there in the middle of Mark’s hotel suite thinking how foolish she should feel. But the sense of loss overwhelmed her. Until the guilt slid in. The force of a sudden return of violent waves of guilt washed over her. She wished she could feel more than friendship for him, but she wouldn’t go down that path again the way she had with Don.
Reaching to pick up her bag, she watched her hand tremble. She bit her lip. She had to leave. She hurried to the door, but before she walked out she turned and took a look back into Mark’s room. Sadness threatened to overwhelm her once again, but before it could get hold of her, she forced herself to close the door behind her and keep walking.
The only thoughts she would allow herself from that moment on concerned how and where she was now going to get the money for Dr. Oki. The specter of her outstanding bills would have to wait. She had a million things to do that day, but her mind kept returning to the problem of millions of dollars worth of funds she had counted on from Mark’s company.
As she pulled into her driveway, her cell phone beeped with a missed call. She fished it out of her bag as she walked inside. Barry had called. She stared at it and then tossed the phone in the direction of the kitchen table, where it landed in the fruit basket.
“Two points for you, girl.” Bonnie stood in the doorway expectantly. “What’s the problem now? There’s always something with you, and it’s always about money.
Or men,” Bonnie said, shaking her head as she walked into the room. Roxanne walked past the woman and toward the stairs to go up to her room. She waved Bonnie to follow.
“Of course you’re right. And it’s all that man’s fault.” Roxanne shook her finger back toward the basket where her cell phone lay. The guilt twisted her gut as she said it.
“Which man was that?” Bonnie asked as they walked into Roxanne’s room.
Roxanne went immediately to her favorite chair and plopped down in front of the cold fireplace. “Barry Dennis.”
“Oh him. I thought you went to see Mark about some fund-raising deal for the doctor?” The older woman lowered herself carefully into the chair opposite Roxanne.
“I did.”
“Mark won’t give you the deal for the doctor?”
“Nope.” She didn’t bother with surprise at how Bonnie had discerned this. The woman was psychic—where she was concerned anyway. Always had been. “Some baloney about the cause not being broad enough in scope. But what it really came down to is…” She felt the shame now. Confessing to Bonnie forced her to admit yet another mistake. No matter how lonely she felt, no matter how much she craved a connection, she couldn’t handle it. She didn’t know how to connect emotionally with a man. That had been her problem with Don. She was no better at it now.
“Let me guess. He wanted a more intimate relationship. You didn’t. He thought maybe you two had something and you should have known better and kept up your guard. But you didn’t.” Bonnie summed it up.
Roxanne tried not to cringe. She sat up straight and took a deep breath. She needed to face facts.
“Now what are you going to do? At least Mr. Dennis is still talking to you.” Bonnie said. “And maybe you shouldn’t go introducing any more men to him, business or no business.” She was right of course.
“It was Barry’s fault. He didn’t have to be so…so…competitive about it. He practically challenged Mark to a duel.” Roxanne knew she was exaggerating, but she also knew Bonnie knew she was, and had in fact come to expect it and even enjoyed the melodrama.
“He did?” Bonnie laughed. Roxanne loved to make her laugh. She smiled watching the woman now.
“You know what I mean—he challenged Mark with his eyes. It was the killer look in his eyes that set Mark off.” Roxanne sobered a little now thinking of it. “So much so I’m afraid I haven’t even got a friend left, not even so much as a working colleague. When Mark leaves town today, I doubt he’ll ever come back.” She leaned her head on her hands and stared into the empty fireplace.
“He wasn’t man enough to accept you as a friend, then it’s his loss more than yours. It’s like Don all over again. But you can’t be someone you’re not.” Bonnie paused when Roxanne looked up at her. Maybe she didn’t like who she was. She wanted to fall in love with a man. She needed to feel it.
“As for the money. You’ll think of something,” Bonnie finished.
“Oh, I will. But I wish I could come up with something right now.” She needed to clear her mind and think only about the real problem, at lest the one problem she might be able to solve—money.
She did not return Barry’s call.
The Children’s Mercy Hospital League meeting was a regular monthly event and she was worried about squeezing it in with her TV job and not getting fired again for being late or unavailable. As chair, Roxanne couldn’t miss the meetings. She had the floor. She’d worked long hours on her off time to prepare something substantial to give the hospital staff. They looked to her for direction as one of the senior board members as well as chairperson of the League. Most of the men and women were already aware of the new fund being set up, but the major donor and who would be assigned to the project was not decided on yet.
“As committee chair of the Dr. Oki Research Fund,” Roxanne paused as the various people in the room giggled at her mock pomposity. The CMH League volunteers operated as an auxiliary arm to the hospital development staff. Roxanne was the liaison between the league and the hospital. She’d been voted chair because she’d been personally responsible for not only the cover article in Newsweek on Dr. Oki’s research, but for bringing in over five million dollars in two years by carefully choreographed events and contacts.
Dr. Oki smiled at her now. He was in attendance at this meeting at her special request. She continued.
“After establishing the special research fund for Dr. Oki, due to a severe and sudden need which I’m sure you are all aware of by now, I began to explore several avenues of possible sources. We need lots of money fast. We need to run the type of campaign we’ve never tried before. Therefore we will all vote now on my proposal to do a high-powered ad campaign with a major star as spokesperson. Of course we need a substantial amount of up-front money to get this off the ground, but we already have ten thousand dollars.” They clapped when she sat. The vote on the project was close. Roxanne noted a faction of dissent from the same group as always, but they seemed to be louder and more numerous today.
The meeting was adjourned and Dr. Oki smiled appreciatively when he came up to Roxanne. “I have a feeling we’ll do better next year without the grant. You really know how to turn a disaster around.” She responded by giving the doctor a warm hug.
“Don’t be premature. We haven’t got any money in our hands yet,” Laura said. Roxanne looked at her friend Laura with mock disgust.
“Nope. Leave it to you to point that out. But we do have a good plan if I do say so myself.”
“It’s only a good plan if we can carry it off,” Laura persisted. “I noticed Don’s cousin, Roger Smythe, in attendance today, and he, of course, resisted the idea. He never comes to these meetings.”
“True.” Roxanne refused to say or think more of it right then.
“There is one other thing that’s bothering me.” Laura’s tone was serious.
“What is it?”
“Who are we going to get for the spokesperson? We need someone big, and after all, this is pretty much a local campaign. What really big star do we have locally that…” Laura didn’t continue as Roxanne widened her smile with every word.
“I have someone very big in mind. No need to worry.”
Dr. Oki looked from one woman to the other. By the look on Laura’s face, not quite a gasp, not quite a smile, Roxanne knew she had figured out who the spokesperson would be.
“Okay, ladies. I give up. Who is it?”
“Should I tell him? After all, I haven’t confirmed it yet. Maybe I should wait until I know for sure.” Roxanne felt a twinge.
Laura laughed.
“I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty sure he’ll say yes.” Laura turned to Dr. Oki. “The spokesperson for the Dr. Oki Research Fund will be none other than the illustrious Barry Dennis.”
Dr. Oki’s jaw dropped in astonishment.
“Everyone knows he never does publicity and very little charity work, especially not in the middle of basketball season,” Dr. Oki said.
“Don’t worry, Doc. Barry is a close personal friend of mine.” Roxanne felt compelled to reassure him.
“I’m sure you must know what you’re doing, Roxy, but be careful. I have to be going now. I’m late already.” Dr. Oki left.
Roxanne beckoned Laura to accompany her to the development office. They had planned to work on plans for her holiday benefit gala. The room had a couch and a small round table surrounded by comfortable chairs to serve her nicely when she was there. The two women went into the room and sat at the table. Roxanne could tell that Laura had something to say, but she hesitated for some reason.
“Okay, what is it?”
“I saw you with Barry at the Celtics Tribute party.”
“Yes. That’s what I was saying.”
“You’re using your personal relationship to gain an edge for the fund-raising campaign.”
“Damn it, that’s what we do. That’s what fund-raising is all about, Laura. We all do it.”
“I know. But we don’t all get into troubl
e over it. I’m thinking about Mark Baines.”
“Barry Dennis is no Mark Baines, believe me. He has no vulnerability. If there’s anyone you should be worried about it’s me. I have a genuine interest in Barry that has nothing to do with this fund-raising campaign.” She decided to admit her fear. “I’m kind of worried about it.”
“Don’t worry. It’s probably temporary. I hear he has that effect on women. I hope the campaign doesn’t interfere in your relationship—the way it did with Mark,” Laura said.
“What do you know about Mark?” Roxanne put down her pencil.
“He called me. He also talked to Harry. I’m surprised Harry hasn’t called you on the carpet about it. I understand you’re no longer dealing with Mark or his company’s project,” Laura said.
“No. I wasn’t going to sell my soul and use his affections. I misjudged the situation with Mark but I’m not going to make the same mistake with Barry. I do intend to influence Barry, however. I will take advantage of my inside opportunities, as we all do in this business, but any expressions of affection will be strictly sincere. None of this will have any effect on our relationship whatsoever—such as it is.” She was confident in spite of the skeptical face Laura had for her.
“If there’s one thing you’re good at, Roxy it’s ignoring possible problems and plunging right in. But whether actual problems crop up or not, you’ll manage in the end. I have no doubt.” Laura patted her arm.
“Thanks. I needed that.” Roxanne thought of Mark and how he would have been invited to her upcoming holiday benefit gala, as they went over the guest list.
“Don’s cousin sent his money in.” Laura announced. Roxanne was surprised he hadn’t let his personal feelings get in the way of a good cause. He was a bigger man than she thought.
“Don’t worry, he won’t actually show up,” she assured Laura.
Two years ago the area’s entertainment community had been solicited to attend the holiday benefit. Several well-recognized celebrities showed up and so the reporters and photographers followed.
Playing the Game Page 10
