“Come on. It hasn’t been that bad.”
“Wanna bet? Husbands would give me the stink eye if I so much as glanced in the direction of their wives. I gave up looking at women, at least most of the time. I still watched you behind the bar when I thought nobody was payin’ attention.”
“I watched you, too.”
“Yeah?” He looked pleased. “And here I thought you hated my guts.” He polished off his beer.
“I tried to, but the minute I laid eyes on you, I got all hot and bothered. I started taking more time with my hair and makeup before going in to work, in case you’d show up at the bar.”
“All I can say is, you always looked great. You were a bright spot in my life, even if I didn’t think I had a chance with you.”
“And see what’s happened.”
He reached over and laced his fingers through hers. “I’m a lucky guy. Thanks for givin’ me that chance.”
“Glad I did.” Tracy gazed at him across the checkered tablecloth and finally found the courage to ask the question that mattered the most, in her mind, at least. “Did you love her?”
He blinked. “Love who?” The confusion in his expression slowly cleared. “Oh. You mean Jeannette.”
“Yes.”
“It’s not an easy question to answer.”
“Then never mind,” Tracy said quickly. “You don’t have to answer it now. You don’t ever have to answer it.”
“But you want to know.”
She couldn’t lie. “Yes.”
“Because if I secretly loved her all along, that makes what I did a little easier to swallow, right?” He caressed her palm with his thumb.
She wondered if he even realized he was doing it. He was a naturally sensual man who enjoyed touching people. She’d benefited greatly from that. Now she wished she hadn’t brought up Jeannette, but she’d started the discussion, so she couldn’t drop it now. “If you loved her, what happened would be more understandable, I guess.”
“Yes, I loved Jeannette. Still do.”
It was the answer that would help absolve him, so why did it hurt so much when he said it? Tracy reminded herself that she’d asked, and she didn’t want him to lie, so if she didn’t like the answer, too bad. She started to pull her hand away.
He tightened his grip and held on. “Tracy, don’t. Let me explain. I’ve known Jeannette since we were kids. We’ve been buddies. I never dated her. We went to the University of Virginia, and that’s where I met Regan. He and I got along great, so of course I introduced him to my pal Jeannette. They sort of drifted into a relationship.”
Tracy’s mood improved, but she still wondered if Drake was a little bit in love with his childhood friend. “That doesn’t sound very romantic.”
“It didn’t seem like it to me, either, but they both insisted they were blissfully happy. They had it all—great careers, promising future, yada yada yada. Regan loves being a vet, no matter what the circumstances. I liked it okay, but I never loved the job the way he does, maybe because it was my parents’ idea. They always wanted me to open a practice specializing in thoroughbred racehorses. They were paying the bills, and I took the path of least resistance.”
She suspected he’d been under way more pressure than he was letting on. Although she could be wrong, she had a feeling his entire life had been laid out for him, and he’d been expected to follow the yellow brick road, no questions asked. “Were you writing, then?”
“Oh, sure, but I wasn’t going to make a living writing poetry, especially if I never told anybody I was doin’ it.”
“Well, there’s that. But you’re right. Most poets have day jobs.”
“I know, and I thought being a vet could be my day job. But I wasn’t just an equine vet. I was a vet for animals worth millions. I thought I’d be thrilled with the prestige, but I wasn’t. I hated the pressure.”
Because you’re a poet. “But not Regan?”
“He’s like Teflon. It just rolled off of him. He has this inner core of certainty, no matter what he does. I envied how he had everything goin’ his way when I so obviously didn’t have a clue. Instead of trying to get my act together, which looked impossible, I threw a rock into the calm pool of his perfect life, because that was easy.”
She gazed at him in admiration. “But Drake, you figured out why you did it. Most people aren’t willing to do that. And you’ve made amends. On top of everything else, Regan’s life wasn’t as perfect as it looked. If you hadn’t thrown that rock, he wouldn’t be here. He wouldn’t have found Lily and Peaceful Kingdom. He loves her and he loves that place.”
“True, and I feel a little better when I think about that. But I can’t say Jeannette and I are friends anymore. I tried to justify what we did by continuing to see her, but neither of us could get past the guilt. We ended the affair, but our friendship died with it. What a waste.”
“Have you contacted her since you came out here?” Tracy had to ask. He’d rebuilt the friendship with Regan, and he could do the same with Jeannette. Once the guilt was gone, maybe they’d discover they really did love each other. That made her stomach clench, but she’d be incredibly selfish not to suggest that he try to repair his relationship with a woman he’d known for years.
“I haven’t contacted her, but that’s a good idea. Maybe I could get her to come out here for a few days. She could talk to Regan, then, too. I’d ask him, first, though, before I asked her to come.”
“Definitely. I think Lily would be okay with it. She’s all about mending fences, but still. Jeannette was his fiancée. You don’t want to put Lily in an awkward position.” Or me. But she had no claim to Drake and no right to feel jealous of Jeannette. If the thought of Jeannette showing up in Jackson Hole made her feel sick to her stomach, she’d have to get over it.
“Thanks for the suggestion.” Drake smiled and squeezed her hand again. “Have I told you how great you are?”
“Maybe not when we have all our clothes on.”
“Then let me say it now, when we’re fully dressed and sitting in a public place where there’s no chance we’ll be getting naked anytime soon. You’re terrific. You—”
“Miss Tracy, Miss Tracy!”
Tracy yanked her hand free and turned toward the little redhead racing toward her. Sarah Bianca Chance, aka SB, was in the restaurant. Because she was only three, she undoubtedly hadn’t arrived alone.
SB threw herself into Tracy’s arms. “Guess what? Me, Mommy and Daddy saw a movie! Not my brother. He’s too little. We didn’t get popcorn but we’re gonna get hamburgers.” Then she turned to stare at Drake. “Who’s that?”
“That’s Mr. Drake, SB.” A very pregnant Morgan Chance, her red hair a shade darker than her daughter’s, walked up to the table followed by her husband, Gabe. “Hi, Trace. Nice to see you.” Morgan’s voice was cool and her expression remained carefully neutral.
That alone told Tracy how upset she must be, because Morgan’s face was always animated and her blue-green eyes constantly sparkled with delight. She didn’t look the least bit delighted now. She’d probably seen Drake and Tracy holding hands, too. Tracy was afraid she’d just been branded a traitor.
Drake got to his feet immediately and held out his hand to Morgan. “I’m honored to finally meet one of Regan’s sisters.”
Morgan shook his hand, but she made it brief. “This is my husband, Gabe.”
Gabe stepped forward, and he wasn’t smiling, either. “Brewster.” He shook Drake’s hand with a little more force than necessary. Then he moved back, smoothed two fingers over his sandy mustache and glanced around the restaurant as if desperately searching for an appropriate comment. “Kind of crowded tonight.”
“It is.” Tracy stood, too. “But we’re about to leave if you want this table.”
“That’s okay,” Morgan said. “I like t
o be by the window. Gabe, would you please go ask the hostess to put us on the list for a window table? And take SB with you?”
“Sure thing.” Gabe looked relieved as he held out his hand to SB. “Come on, peanut. We need to ask her about crayons.”
“Right!” The little girl hopped up and down. “I want to color!” She hurried over to her father and skipped along by his side.
Morgan watched them leave before turning back to Tracy. “Well, this is awkward. I didn’t know you two were...seeing each other.”
“It’s a long story,” Tracy said. “I took in a pregnant mare yesterday and she delivered last night, so rather than pay for a vet, I asked Drake to come over. Regan said I should call on him in an emergency.”
“I vaguely remember hearing about that, but...” She glanced from Tracy to Drake. “This doesn’t look like a veterinary emergency. It looks like a date.”
“Tracy’s been workin’ hard,” Drake said. “I thought she could use a little break, so we—”
“He’s staying with me at Peaceful Kingdom.” Tracy looked Morgan squarely in the eye. “There’s no point in trying to hide it. And he’s not there just because of the mare and foal, although I appreciate the huge help he’s been. We’ve discovered we really like each other.”
Morgan nodded. “Okay, then.” She gazed at both of them for a moment longer. “I’d better go find Gabe and SB. You two have a nice night.” She still didn’t smile.
Neither did Drake, but he’d been raised to be a gentleman, so Tracy wasn’t surprised when he responded with his typical thank you, ma’am. If he’d had a hat on, he could have touched its brim as another gesture of respect. Now more than ever she wanted him to have that hat. If he had to put up with being snubbed, at least he could walk proudly and wear a big hat.
She stood beside him as Morgan walked away. “Sorry about that. I should have remembered that Morgan and Gabe like this place, too, but I still can’t believe they showed up tonight, and while we were here, too! Another ten minutes and we would have been gone.”
Drake glanced down at her, warm concern in his gaze. “I’m not the least bit sorry about it for my sake. But you just announced to the world that we’re sleepin’ together. I’m honored that you did, but you blew me away, sayin’ that.”
“Folks might assume it, anyway, once Morgan reports that we were eating a meal together and holding hands.”
“Because of my reputation.” He scowled. “You’re probably right, damn it.”
“Frankly, I’m relieved we don’t have to sneak around. I’d rather take the offensive and get it out in the open instead of having people talk behind our backs. Now, shall we go? Or do you want to stand here and give me a big old kiss in front of everybody?”
He grinned at her. “While that has enormous appeal, if we’re going to make that dramatic gesture, we should do it somewhere more fittin’, like in the middle of Shoshone’s main street.”
“I like that idea! Save it for later. For now, we need to go get you a hat.” She took his hand. “We’ll pass them again on our way to the door. Break out that fabulous smile of yours.”
“I will if you will.”
“You’ve got it, cowboy.” Her fingers firmly laced through his, she walked with her back straight and her head high. When they reached the cluster of diners waiting for tables, she beamed at Morgan, Gabe and SB. “Great to see you!”
“It’s been a real pleasure.” Drake’s voice oozed Southern charm.
At first Morgan had watched them approach with cold disdain, but after they’d greeted her warmly, something shifted in her expression. Unless Tracy was mistaken, Morgan’s blue-green eyes now reflected a new emotion—grudging respect.
“That was entertainin’.” Drake continued to hold her hand as they strolled around the Jackson town square toward the Western wear store. “I don’t imagine we’ll have nearly as much fun in the store.”
“You might be surprised.”
“How so?”
“I predict you’ll go in a Southern gentleman and you’ll come out a cowboy.”
“They’ll teach me to rope in there, too? Now that’s a bargain.”
“They won’t teach you to rope, but once you have a hat, you’ll look like you can rope. Then you’ll be more motivated to learn to rope so you’ll match your hat.”
Drake laughed. “That’s way too complicated for this Southern boy. I may not be ready for this hat, after all.”
She hoped he was only kidding. “Don’t wimp out on me now, Brewster.”
“I won’t.” He released her hand and wrapped an arm around her shoulders as they approached the store with its windows full of mannequins wearing Western outfits. “I’ve seen the light. Any man lucky enough to be sharin’ a bed with you had better own a decent hat.” He reached out and opened the glass door for her.
She smiled at him as she walked past. “Or an indecent one.”
“Better watch out, sweetheart. You’re playin’ with fire.”
“I surely hope so.” Catching his hand, she led him over to the shelves filled with Western hats. “What strikes your fancy?”
He took his time looking over the display. “It needs to be black.”
“I hope that doesn’t have anything to do with your story about white hats and black hats.” She was only half teasing.
“No, it doesn’t.” He picked up a black Stetson by the brim. “Much as I loved those movies, white hats make no sense. They’ll just get dirty.”
“And they don’t look nearly as sexy as black.”
He smiled at her. “Lord knows I want to look sexy for you.” And he put on the hat.
Tracy caught her breath. Whether by accident or instinct, he’d chosen the perfect hat. He’d also managed to put it on at exactly the right angle. The brim shadowed his eyes just enough to make him look even more manly, if that was even possible.
He gazed at her from under that brim. “Is that sexy enough for you?”
She swallowed. “I think...it might be overkill.”
13
ILLOGICAL THOUGH IT might be, Drake felt different wearing the hat. He’d never have bought it without Tracy’s urging, without her belief in him. She’d given him a renewed faith in his essential decency, and then she’d made the hat into a symbol, one he could relate to. One he could wear, for God’s sake. How great was that? He owed her, big-time.
Wearing it out of that store, he wasn’t convinced that he’d been magically transformed into a cowboy. That would be delusional. But he did feel like a better man.
He might never learn how to twirl a rope, but he would live up to what the hat stood for. He would never again attempt to ease his own pain by causing pain to those he loved. He was better than that.
Tracy kept staring at him, so he was pretty sure the hat was working for her, too. He took hold of her hand again as they stood on the sidewalk outside the store. “Anything else you want to do while we’re in town, little lady?”
She laughed, which made her eyes light up and her cheeks rosy. “Just because you have a hat doesn’t mean you have to talk like John Wayne.”
He loved seeing her like that, so he continued the riff. “Oh, I think it does. And look. Now I’m bowlegged.” He managed a pigeon-toed stance that was fairly convincing. “I’m also hankerin’ for a cold sarsaparilla and a tin plate full of beans.”
“Stop, just stop!”
But she was still bubbling over with laughter, so of course he didn’t stop. “If I could find me a nice long piece of straw, I do believe I’d chew on it.”
Giggling, she shook her head. “You’re ridiculous.”
“And here I thought the hat was supposed to make me sexy. Maybe I should return it and get my money back.” He started to take it off.
“Don’t you dare remove tha
t hat, cowboy, or I’ll have to hurt you.”
“Whoa!” He crammed it back on his head so the brim made his ears stick out. “I sure hope you’re not packin’, little lady, or I might have to vamoose.”
Grinning, she stepped back and surveyed him. “You have totally screwed up your sexy, but I think it’s salvageable. Come here and lean down. Let me fix you.”
He did as she asked because he had to agree there was way too much space between them.
Lifting the hat slightly, she set it back on his head more as he’d had it the first time. “There.”
“I like it when you say that word.” He straightened. “It makes me think of you...naked.” He cupped the back of her head. “I might have to kiss you in the middle of Jackson instead of waiting until we get to Shoshone.”
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”
“Why? Is there a law against it around here?”
“No, but—”
“Then let’s do it.” But the minute he started the maneuver, he understood the problem. Damned if his hat wasn’t in the way. He angled his head one way, then the other. “How the hell can I do this without poking your eye out?”
“Nudge it back like this.” Tracy reached up and pushed it slightly back on his forehead.
“Ah.” Simple and elegant. He could finally achieve the desired connection with her smiling mouth. As always, making that connection felt like coming home. He settled in with a sigh. It wouldn’t be a long kiss, just enough to hold him until they got back to the house.
She wound her arms around his neck and pressed against him with a carefully controlled passion that matched his own. It was an open-mouthed kiss with a restrained use of tongues, a PG-13 kind of kiss suitable for a public street corner. But any kiss involving Tracy could swing into X-rated territory if he didn’t watch himself. He ended it before he forgot where he was and embarrassed them both.
Drawing back, he smiled down at her. “Nice.”
“Yeah.” She reached up and pulled his hat back where it had been. “Now take me home, cowboy. I want to have my way with you.”
Riding Hard Page 13
