by Bryn Donovan
As he drank deeply of her kiss, his hand stroking over her hair, and she realized she was trembling, really shaking, all over. Did he notice? Of course he must. She didn’t care. It was his doing, after all.
David pulled away. Andi opened her eyes. His face was still only a few inches from hers, his eyes closed and his breath coming fast. She was glad that he felt the same heat that threatened to engulf her.
He opened his eyes and looked at her. He was so different now from before that it astonished her. His closed, controlled demeanor was gone. She felt like she could see his whole self in his green eyes…intelligence and intensity and something like honor. There was an ache there, too, that she longed to take away, and it echoed something in her own heart.
“Sorry,” he said, his voice very low. “I didn’t mean to…”
She was still dazed. “What?”
David moved further away from her with a wince, as though it were physically painful to do it. “We shouldn’t do this.” He shook his head then suddenly stood up and walked away from the sofa.
Andi disliked the sudden distance between them. “Why not?” she asked, looking at his back. Was it so bad? She certainly hadn’t thought so.
He turned around again, pressing his fingers briefly to his forehead. “Andi, you’re working for me. I’m paying you.”
“Oh.” She could see his point, much as she didn’t want to. They had a business relationship. She hadn’t been hired for this.
Did he really mean what he said, though? She thought of trying to kiss him again, just to see what would happen, but she didn’t have the courage. She would be humiliated if he pushed her away.
Andi felt confused, not to mention awkward. She stood up, too. “You know what? I should probably go.”
He looked about to protest this, but then he said, “Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.”
She headed toward the door.
“Listen, Andi. Really, I’m sorry,” he said, following her. “It’s my fault.”
“It’s all right,” she said. It seemed like a stupid thing to say. It was more than all right that he’d kissed her, and it was definitely not all right that he’d stopped. She put on a brave smile. “Let’s just forget it ever happened, okay?”
“Yeah,” he said. “Yeah, that would probably be best.”
But Andi knew his kiss was going to be very hard to forget.
Chapter Four
David loaded the bar for a final set on the bench press. The clink of the weights echoed in the silence. No one else in his building ever worked out after midnight. Usually the gym calmed his mind. Ever since he’d been a teenager, he felt the need to be strong, and weight training gave him a sense of control.
Tonight, though, he couldn’t stop obsessing about Andi.
He hadn’t meant to kiss her. It had just happened. He’d immediately realized it was wrong.
Before starting his own law practice, he’d worked at a big firm where he saw a few flirtations and romances at the office turn very, very bad. He’d always told himself he would never mix a professional relationship with romance. One time an attractive administrative assistant made a pass at him, and he cut it short faster than you could say Motion denied.
But this was a different situation. Andi didn’t work for him full time. The job wouldn’t last more than a few weeks, and they had already agreed on the payment. There really wasn’t such a strong ethical reason not to date her.
David finished the tenth rep with a grunt. As he set the bar back into its place, he faced the fact that he had another reason to pull back from Andi. She just wasn’t his usual type. She certainly wasn’t spoiled, and more than that, she didn’t give the impression of someone who was just looking for a good time.
And when he kissed her, he didn’t feel like someone who was just looking for a good time, either.
He sat up on the weight bench, finished with his usual lifting routine, but he still had a lot of restless energy. He got onto the elliptical machine, but even when he turned up his iPod, it couldn’t drown out his thoughts.
He felt a connection with her. While most people hoped to find that with another person, he backed off at the first hint of it.
That was kind of messed up.
The hellhole of a house had come back into his life, but in another sense it had never left. No matter how many years he put between himself and those memories, they cast a shadow long enough to keep him in dark.
He remembered the feel of Andi in his arms…full of warmth, full of life. She still believed in things that he barely ever dared to hope for.
He wondered what she looked like under all that denim and flannel. He could imagine it.
Would it really be so wrong to find out for sure?
* * *
Andi stepped out the front door of her apartment building. The lumpy gray sky reminded her of freshly poured cement. Hopefully it wouldn’t start to pour until after she got to the house. Driving in bad weather made her nervous.
She had to walk three blocks to her truck. Their building didn’t have a garage, and finding a big enough parking space along the street was sometimes a challenge. Now and then, she thought about trading it in for something smaller, because for most of her jobs her equipment would fit into a regular car. Still, she always hoped for a big kitchen remodel or something like that, which would require hauling a lot of materials.
So she put up with the truck. Most days, she got home early enough to find a place on the same block as their building.
She wasn’t in the habit of going over to her clients’ homes after hours and making out with them.
The memory of David’s kiss had been thrumming inside her all morning. She told herself not to get excited, because it wasn’t going to happen again. It shouldn’t happen again. Now that she’d thought about it more, she knew David was right about that. God, she’d be mortified if her father knew she’d kissed someone she was working for.
Maybe she could just appreciate the incident for what it was, an isolated slice of sweetness she could always remember. Even if she lived to be a hundred years old, she would probably still enjoy recalling that kiss. Everyone in the nursing home would look at her and wonder why she had that big smile on her face.
Would she be able to deal with David as though nothing had happened? Even before things became physical the night before, they’d just seemed to connect. He was easy to talk to, he seemed to understand her…and he seemed so nice. Just as she’d suspected, despite his brusque manner when she’d first met him.
Maybe she and David could start dating once the job was finished. He didn’t date as many women as that magazine had said, and it didn’t seem like he was, as her sister Lissa had put it, a douche who liked to screw around. A guy like that wouldn’t worry at all about kissing someone he hired.
He hadn’t even seemed as fabulously wealthy as the magazine had suggested. His place was expensive, certainly, but not over the top. This made Andi less suspicious of him. She could see him as boyfriend material.
If he really was interested in her. Maybe the kiss had just been a moment of lust on his part, nothing more.
Would he be at the house this morning? She pulled the cell phone out of her back pocket, just in case he might have left her a message. Instead, she saw that she’d missed a call from Vinita, an old friend of hers from two jobs ago.
Andi got in the truck and sat there to listen to the message.
Hey Andi, it’s V. I know it’s short notice, I just wondered if you wanted to come out with us tonight. I’m celebrating…I got promoted! Tom left, and I’m taking his job. Anyway…call me, okay? I want to hear what’s going on with you!
Andi deleted the message, making a mental note to call her friend after work. Her stomach knotted with envy. Vinita had a real career. Why had Andi ever left that job? If she’d stayed, she would be doing well by now and maybe feeling like she had found her place in the world.
But it hadn’t felt like her place. The whole ti
me she worked in that office, her feelings swung between antsy and downright miserable. Unfortunately, she wasn’t sure life as an independent contractor suited her exactly, either. But everyone felt that way sometimes, didn’t they?
As Andi started the engine and pulled away from the curb, she wondered if she would tell Vinita about kissing David. It would make a juicy story, but it seemed too private to share. Now that she thought about it, she wasn’t even going to tell Lissa. Her younger sister would only disapprove.
Andi got to the house and found the front door open. She heard Carlos banging around in the parlor, but since she’d accidentally startled him the day before, she decided to leave him alone.
She got right to work, feeling a sense of satisfaction at how much progress she had made on the banister. If she worked hard and didn’t take too many breaks, she could have the whole thing stripped down to the bare wood by the end of the day.
She mused on what life must have been like in the place over a hundred years ago. The house must have seen some good times. A happy family gathering for dinner, maybe. Guests arriving at a party…they would take off their long coats and impressive hats, right there by the front door.
But although she tried to envision these things, she wasn’t able to. The dining room table she pictured in her mind remained empty, the chairs vacant, the clock over the mantel ticking away. She imagined the entryway at night, but no smiling guests arrived through that threshold. A black void filled it, deeper than the evening on the other side of the heavy door.
And upstairs, in that master bedroom, inside that locked door, far away from anyone who could hear…
With a severe act of will, she cut off the thought. Her heart pounded. She looked down at the entryway.
The door opened. She jumped.
Seeing David did not calm her down.
He wore his usual jeans, with an expensive-looking pullover sweater of thin wool. He had shaved. Recalling the rough feel of his stubble the night before, she felt herself flush.
“Morning.” He didn’t quite meet her eyes. “How are you?”
“Fine.”
She tried to think of something else to say in the brief and painful silence.
“You’ve gotten a lot done,” he ventured.
“Yeah, it’s going great.”
David nodded. “Okay, well, I’m going to go talk to Carlos about the upstairs. I’m waiting on an electrician, so if he knocks, do you mind letting him in?”
“Sure. No problem.”
“Thanks. Um, let me know if you need anything.”
Like what? Andi thought. Another kiss? She didn’t reply, and David headed to the back parlor. Great. That wasn’t awkward at all.
Much later, over the whine of the power sander, she heard a loud knock. She turned the tool off, jogged down the stairs and opened the door to a man in perhaps his early sixties: tall, with silvering hair, a moustache and a short beard. Where had she seen him before?
Oh, yes, in the neighborhood the other day, before he had retreated into the mist. She knew her mind played tricks on her, especially in this house. Was he real?
“Hi, there,” he said. Okay, real. Figments of her messed-up imagination never said, Hi, there. “Are you the owner?”
“What? No. I’m just a worker.”
“Yeah? Me too,” he said with an easy grin. “Or, I was. I did the landscaping for this house, years and years ago. John Willingham.”
Andi shook his outstretched hand. It felt strong and rough, and she guessed he still worked as a landscaper. “Andi Petrowski,” she said. “I saw there used to be a big garden out back.”
He smiled faintly. “That’s right. I just wondered what was happening with the place now.”
“The owner’s getting it all fixed up again. I’m in the middle of redoing all the woodwork.”
Footsteps sounded behind her and Andi turned to see David. His presence sent a current like faint electricity coursing through her.
“Hey. This is John Willingham,” she told him. “He used to do the landscaping here.”
David stopped in his tracks. His face went blank. “Mr. Willingham.”
The older man stared back at him. “David.”
* * *
David could hardly believe it. He hadn’t seen Mr. Willingham in how many years…twenty?
Memories flooded his mind. The smell and gritty feel of the Lava soap in the sink in the potting shed. The stacks of thick books next to the gardening tools. Mr. Willingham reading at lunchtime while he drank cups of hot coffee out of a big black thermos, even in the summer.
The man chuckled. “I’ve changed a bit, haven’t I? Well, so have you. Believe me.”
“You haven’t changed that much. Come on in.” As he did, David shook his hand, and Mr. Willingham clapped him on the shoulder. “It’s… Wow. It’s good to see you.”
“You, too,” the landscaper said. “Look at you. All grown up.”
“Yeah.” David grinned. “Have been for a while now.”
“You married? Any kids?”
“No.”
“David,” Andi said. She sounded a little dazed. “You grew up here?”
“Yeah,” he said, ignoring her reproachful look.
“Well, I was in the neighborhood,” Mr. Willingham said, “and I saw the parked cars and the new windows. I thought I would just look around.” He peered at David. “Are you going to be living here?”
“No! I’m fixing it up to sell. My dad died. He left it to me.”
The older man looked down at his shoes. “I’m very sorry for your loss.”
“Thank you, but there’s no need. I hadn’t spoken to my father in fifteen years.”
His head snapped up again. “Really?”
“Yeah.” Did the gardener think he was a terrible son now? Well, if he did, it wasn’t any of his business, and David wasn’t going to sugarcoat the truth for anyone. “No offense, but he was an asshole.”
Mr. Willingham gave an odd laugh. “You’re not offending me. He was an asshole.”
This was unexpected. “I didn’t know you felt that way. I’m surprised you worked for him as long as you did. I know I was happy to leave.” David had finally moved away from his father to go to prep school in Connecticut. While other boys missed their families and bemoaned the difficult classes, David simply felt free.
“Yeah, well…I loved that garden. I wanted to see it come into its own.” The faraway look in the man’s eyes surprised David.
“It was beautiful, when I was a kid. When you were still here.”
“I’m not quite retired,” Mr. Willingham said. “I’d work on it again if you needed somebody. But I guess you don’t, since you’re selling it.”
“Yeah…the only thing I’m hoping to do is get all the overgrown brush cleared away. And those big silver maples are going to have to come out. The roots are cracking the foundation. But I don’t know if you do that kind of thing.”
The gardener grinned. “I do that kind of thing. Let me give you my card. We can set something up.”
David took it from him and tucked it into his wallet. “Hopefully I can sell it before winter, but you never know.”
Mr. Willingham nodded. “Yeah,” he said, looking around him. “It’s a beautiful old house, but I suppose it’s got its…unique challenges.”
“Mr. Willingham,” Andi said. David had almost forgotten she was there. “When you worked here, did anything unusual happen? In the house?”
Why was she asking?
The older man seemed taken aback by the question as well. “Unusual? Yeah, I would say a lot of unusual things happened.” He gave a mirthless chuckle. “I don’t suppose I’m up to talking about them right now. It’s already been quite a day.”
David didn’t ask why that was. The man had said he wasn’t quite retired yet. Maybe he’d just gotten off work somewhere else.
“I’m going to head home, build a fire and settle down with a good book,” Mr. Willingham added.
&
nbsp; This piqued David’s curiosity. “Did you ever get married?”
“No. I never did.”
David regretted asking. The man sounded a little lonely. Suddenly he remembered something. “Hey, you want to hear something funny? You remember that Swiss Army knife you gave me?”
Mr. Willingham frowned. Then recognition kindled in his eyes. “I forgot about that. I gave you one because you liked mine.”
“Yeah. I still have it,” he said, taking it out of his pocket to show him.
The gardener’s eyes widened. “You’re kidding. The same one?”
“Yeah. I always have it on me, actually.”
“It’s a pretty serious knife to give a kid,” Andi said. “That blade is, like, four inches long.”
“He was really responsible,” Mr. Willingham said as he looked it over. “Well, how about that. I’ve lost a few of these over the years, going through airport security. I forget they’re on me.” He handed it back to David, saying, “That is really something. But anyway…I ought to be going.”
“I’m glad you stopped by, Mr. Willingham,” David said.
“Hey, you don’t need to call me ‘mister’—call me John. It was good to see you, David. If you don’t mind my saying, you’ve grown up well.”
David didn’t mind him saying.
“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me!” Andi said once he had left.
“About what?” he hedged.
She threw her hands up in the air. “About growing up here, what else?”
“It didn’t matter.”
“If it didn’t matter you would have told me.”
“I didn’t want to talk about it. Still don’t,” he added.
“Why? Okay, so you didn’t like growing up here. Your dad was a jerk or something. I get it. But what’s the big deal?”
Why couldn’t she let it go? The questions irritated him…because he didn’t even know how to begin to answer them. David turned and walked away into another room.
