14
THE DARK SIDE
Orville had warned Lexie that if she didn’t feel tired tonight, she could say good-bye to her human sleep. She’d be nocturnal until she’d saved up enough exceptional human behavior. Which could be months.
And it was all because of this miserable election.
“Enjoy your spooooky visit.” Lexie’s father wiggled his eyebrows. Tonight Lexie had promised to bring Maddy and Hudson over to Madame Peabody’s house to get some haunted-house tips from her. It was the last thing Lexie wanted to do, but it would take her mind off the Dylan fiasco. Besides, she hadn’t been much of a big sister these days.
“If you need help, just call us,” said the pixies, who were sitting at the kitchen table, making buttons for Dylan’s and Mina’s campaign.
“No, thanks,” said Lexie. “Your last ‘help’ was to plaster those terrible posters of Dylan all over the school. He was so angry with me, I don’t think we’ll ever be friends.”
“That was all me,” admitted Mitzi proudly. “But it was to save Mina’s campaign. I didn’t think about yours. Mina and Dylan are competing for the popular vote.”
“Well, Dylan despises me. There’s not even a quote for how sad I am,” said Lexie as her eyes prickled with tears.
The pixies giggled softly. But they didn’t mock Lexie when they saw they’d upset her. And they didn’t touch the cupcakes that Lexie’s father whipped up after Lexie refused to make them any. “We’ll grant you any secret wish,” called Mitzi as they trooped out the door. “No joke.”
“Whatever.” It was just more pixie propaganda, thought Lexie. With Hudson on one side and Maddy on the other, she set off down the block for Madame’s house.
“Like my costume? I’m a vintage vampire,” said Hudson. “This is Dad’s old nightwalker outfit from back in the day.” He squeezed Lexie’s hand. “Sorry I called you the most vampish, Lex. Thanks for coming out with us tonight.”
“No prob, Hud. I guess I have been creepier than usual,” Lexie admitted. “I need to get back on the straight and narrow.”
“Did you notice that I’m a magician?” asked Maddy, swirling her cape. “I put disgusting in the pockets, too. Just in case.”
At the Peabody house, the lights were low. Lexie pressed the buzzer, setting off a chime to the tune of “Silver Bells.” The front door opened immediately.
“Hello! You must be Lexie. Lovely to meet you.” Madame Astrid Peabody presented a round silver tray. “May I offer you a pig in a blanket?”
“What a horrifying food,” whispered Hudson as they all declined. “It’s pastry and pork.” He looked frightened. “Good start to the night of fright for vegetarians, Madame P.”
“Oopsie! My mistake.” Madame withdrew her tray. “No matter, there are cucumber finger sandwiches in the drawing room.” She beckoned. “Come in and meet my sister, Petunia, who is visiting from, ah, elsewhere.”
“Sandwiches made from fingers,” murmured Maddy. “Gross. I like it.”
They filed after Madame into the drawing room, where a few easels and canvases had been set up. A woman who looked like Madame, except younger, was lounging on a love seat. Her lap was full of crickets, and her eyes were black as bullets.
“This is my sister, Petunia,” said Madame.
“Greetings,” said Petunia.
“Please sit,” said Madame, “but keep your kiesters off my ladybugs, crickets, and spiders. They run loose through the house. I’m an entomologist, if you haven’t guessed already.”
“Oh, that’s interesting, because people in the neighborhood think you’re a witch,” Maddy mentioned before Lexie could elbow her.
Petunia Peabody cackled. “Our house might be fearsome, but my sister wouldn’t hurt a flea,” she said. “Or a bug.”
Hudson pointed to the walls, which were hung with many paintings. Lexie looked. One painting was of dogs playing poker. Another was of fairies sitting on toadstools. The largest painting was of a cemetery, where a black-velvet-dressed figure was climbing out of an open grave.
“I painted the graveyard scene,” said Petunia with pride. “I used glow-in-the-dark paints.”
“My sister is so imaginative,” said Madame. “And her horrible painting got me thinking—why don’t we paint some scary pictures for your haunted house? A few paintings like Petunia’s will spook everyone.”
The Livingstones didn’t need to be asked twice. They all whipped on smocks and got to work. Hudson painted winged demons. Maddy painted a vicious Old World Knaveheart, most terrifying of all pureblood vampires, eating a rat. Lexie painted the tragic death of Anne Boleyn. Eventually Madame fell asleep in her armchair. Maddy and Hudson finished their scary paintings and started up a round of yawning contests. Only Lexie and Petunia remained wide awake.
Lexie shivered as the thought crossed her mind. Was Petunia also a Nocturnal?
“Since you’re all half asleep, why don’t you all stay the night?” suggested Petunia as she put away her paint-brushes. “My sister seems to be a goner.”
“Good idea.” Lexie faked a stretch. “I’ll text my parents.” In truth, all her vamp senses were on alert. There was something odd—maybe even dangerous—about Petunia. Was it her extra-vamp instincts that made her want to fight instead of flee?
They followed Petunia up the stairs and down the corridor. Her waist-length hair swished against her black gown, creating a hypnotic rustling sound.
Swish, swish, swish.
“Call if you need anything, I’m just at the other end of the hall,” Petunia told them after she showed them to their rooms. Another hair swish and she closed the door.
“I’m sooo tired,” said Maddy.
“Me too,” admitted Hudson. He flipped himself upside down on the closet rail and promptly fell asleep.
Maddy crawled into one of the twin beds and pulled up the covers. Lexie noticed that she hadn’t even taken off her shoes. “I used to think Madame Peabody was a vampire, but she’s too wrinkly,” said Maddy. “Also, she’s got tons of silver lying around. She’s even wearing silver rings. I think,” with a final yawn, “that Madame’s just a sweet, semi-retired witch. And you can never have too many of those in the neighborhood.” With that, she fell sound asleep.
From Hudson’s closet came the sound of snoring.
But Lexie wasn’t sleepy. Not at all. Yes, Madame Peabody was weird. But Petunia Peabody was worse than weird. And if Lexie had to put money on who the vampire in the Peabody clan was . . .
She took her compact from her bag and slipped it in her pocket as she climbed into the other bed. She made herself shut her eyes. Keeping her neck exposed and every muscle flexed, she waited.
Crrrrrrrrrirdkkkkk.
The guest-room door creaked open.
Lexie’s ears pricked as someone approached. She hoped her moonlit neck would draw the creature closer, and she was right. Now she could feel the brush of black silk hair against her cheek and the pearly tip of a fang—
“Gotcha!” Lexie jumped up and brandished the compact, but the silver-backed case burned hot in her palm. Because I’m too vampish to touch a mirror! she realized. Wincing, she nevertheless managed to beam the mirror straight at Petunia Peabody’s terrified face.
“Eeeeeee!” Petunia’s pale fingers flew to her skin, which had already started to splinter like a teacup.
“Ha! I knew it!” Lexie waggled a finger. “Begone, deadly fullblood!”
“Drop that right now!” Petunia reached out, pawing for the compact. Petunia was no shrinking flower, Lexie realized with dismay as the compact fell from her hand and crashed onto the floor.
Maddy and Hudson slept on.
“You spelled them,” accused Lexie, “with your swishy hair.”
“Exactly. It’s an Old World trick but a good one,” croaked Petunia, crushing the compact beneath her high-heeled shoe. “But why didn’t my enchantment work on you?”
“I’m nocturnal,” said Lexie. “Too vampish for your tricks. Why didn’
t you crumble to dust from the mirror?”
“Because,” said Petunia, with an extra twist of her stiletto, “I’m a Back-to-the-Old-World fullblood.”
“What’s that?” Lexie had never heard of such a thing.
As Petunia advanced inch by inch on Lexie, she explained. “About fifty years ago, Astrid and I emigrated as fullblood vampires from the Old World to try our fortunes here. We swore off bloodsucking for good. Astrid became a renowned scientist, and twenty years later, she gained mortality. But I couldn’t let go of my deviant ways. The coffin bed, the warm bloody drinks, ahhh. I deeply missed the drama, the intrigue, and especially the terror on the faces of my helpless victims.
“After a few run-ins with the Argos, I returned to the Old World and swore to eternal vampirism. That’s when I redoubled my power.” Petunia arched her brow and stepped closer. “Is that what you are? Half vamp but unable to reform?”
“No.” Lexie stepped back. “I’m a fruit-bat hybrid who wants to turn mortal. But I’ve lost my way a little.”
Petunia smirked. “That’s what I used to say. Darling, you’ve strayed far from your school yard, haven’t you? So let me take you all the way to the dark side. Some hybrids are simply less human than others. Here’s my plan. Allow me to bite you. I’ll drink most of your blood, then give you some of mine.”
“That works?” asked Lexie.
“As long as you don’t resist. If you agree to accept the bite, it’s nontoxic. It will infuse you with powers, such as bat-morphing. When we return to the Old World, you’d finally be received as a real, diabolical vampire—not just a wimpy fruit hybrid. And you can visit your family once a year, though you’ll have to watch them get old while you stay eternally gorgeous.” Petunia’s fingertips touched her crackly face. “Hurry up and decide. I despise looking chipped, and I need a blood fix to repair my face.”
“Let me open the window,” said Lexie. “This is a lot of information. I better get some fresh air so that I can think.”
Petunia herself threw open the window on the strength of a single pinkie finger. “See how strong I am? You could be, too.”
“Pleh.” Lexie nodded. “Pleh, pleh.”
Petunia squinched her nose. “Is that slang? New World talk is so trendy.”
“Pleh em, Xilb dna Iztim,” said Lexie.
Petunia frowned. “What are you—” But she had no time to finish her sentence because she was too busy screaming bloody murder. “AAAEEEEE!”
Lexie could only stumble back in horror as Petunia’s hair yanked bolt up from her scalp, tugging her through the air and all the way to the ceiling light, where it wrapped itself into a knot that left the rest of her dangling.
“GRUESOME PIXIES!” Petunia screeched. “Where did you come from?!” Her fingers pulled desperately to free herself as the pixies began to dance below her. “Release me at once!” Her spindly legs churned.
“What’s all this racket?” The bedroom door opened and Madame Peabody stood in the door frame, covered in bugs and blinking. “Petunia! Why are you hanging from the light?”
“Astrid, you nincompoop, I didn’t do it to myself! The pixies tied me!”
“Pixies? But who invited pixies here?”
“The Livingstone brats! Don’t you realize that they’re hybrids? Untie me and bring me a kid to bite! I need blood!”
Madame Peabody shook her head. “Sister, dear, you know I don’t like getting mixed up in your biting business.”
Petunia hissed as she turned on Lexie. “I’m not going to hang here forever, and when I get down, I’ll have my revenge on one of your sleeping siblings.”
“No!” said Lexie. “Don’t you dare hurt them! Bite me instead, and take me back to the Old World. I—I’m ready for the dark side.”
“Now you’re talking sense.” Petunia sneered.
Lexie closed her eyes and quickly made her silent wish to the pixies. Blix and Mitzi, just one trick. Give me wings to make me quick. A fullblood’s sure to win this fight unless I land a perfect bite.
Instantly, she could feel the itch between her shoulder blades as, hummingbird-style, fluted pixie wings sprouted from them. Lexie darted to the ceiling and, quick as an antique record needle, dropped her fangs into Petunia’s cracked, unwilling neck.
“STAArgh!” The vampire writhed as her hair unslith ered from its knot and she dropped to the floor like a sack of salt. Mitzi and Blix squealed in fear as they rolled to safety under the heater.
Lexie’s fangs zinged as she retreated, hovering in the air.
Was one hybrid bite enough to take out a fullblood? Probably not, and it wasn’t more than a moment before Petunia had staggered back up on her stilettos and came after Lexie, growling. “You will pay!”
Terrified, Lexie swooped down, grabbing a shard of compact mirror to hold up like a shield to protect herself. Petunia lunged, her fingers ripping the thin tissue of Lexie’s wing as she fluttered to the safety of the windowsill, nearly bumping against the creature that had been perched in darkness there.
Her heart caught in her throat. “Oh! Who are . . . ?”
But the creature had already leaped straight for Petunia, pinning her to the floor. Lexie’s heart pounded as she watched the vampire struggle with the beast. The jabbering pixies, sensing Petunia’s imminent defeat, found their courage and leaped back out to finish her off in trademark pixie fashion, yanking at her gray hair so that it fell out in straggly clumps.
“Eeeeeeee, my hair! My lustrous hair!” Clutching her scalp, Petunia was fast becoming more crumbles than creature. “You’re destroying my crowning beauty!”
“Good-bye, fullblood,” squealed the pixies, who then chanted, “You thought you’d easily trounce a pixie, but you didn’t know ’bout Blix ’n’ Mitzi.”
A pop, a poof, and then Petunia was no more than a heap of pink dust.
Moonlight spilled from behind a cloud and flooded the bedroom.
“Ooh.” And now Lexie recognized the helpful beast— even in his wolfish state. “Pete!” she whispered. “How did you find me?”
“You called for help,” he said. “I speak backwardsian, too. Sorry I was too late to the battle, but I was at a Save the Polar Bears vigil.”
“No biggie,” said Lexie. “We got the job done, and Maddy and Hudson didn’t even wake up for it.”
“You’re lucky to have such talented friends,” said Madame Peabody as the pixies took a bow. “My sister had it coming. She really was so diabolical. A terrible sister to the end. She used to slather my darling crickets on her steak.”
Lexie shuddered. Not one particle of her being was in the mood for a steak. That bite of Petunia would put her off meat for a long, long time, and she knew her other vampish urges were, thankfully, dormant. For now.
“Wonderful pixies,” she praised, “thank you for granting my wish for wings. I didn’t think I could count on you in a pinch.”
“Us has heart,” said Blix with a shrug. He swirled a finger, and Lexie’s wings disappeared.
“Now you owe cupcakes,” added Mitzi. “Your dad’s ones stink.” And they swept out of the window, heading back to the Livingstones’ townhouse.
“Good night, dear,” said Madame Peabody. “I hope you want to stay human. My sister’s life was more glamorous, but mine has been rich with mortal interests. Now come along, my buggy loves.” In a twitch of shiny wings and waving antennae, she shuffled back to bed.
Lexie gave her dear wolf friend a hug. Because the best reason to want mortality was right in front of her. That and the heap of dust that had been Petunia. A gruesome, violent death was just one of the downsides of being fullblood vamp. And yet it was a vampire’s violent life, Lexie realized, that she especially disdained.
“My trip to the dark side is officially over,” she said.
Leaving Maddy and Hudson to sleep off their spell, Pete and Lexie climbed up to Madame Peabody’s roof for a quiet view of the city.
When Lexie finally spoke, she made sure her words were the op
posite of rocks. “Pete, I’m sorry I haven’t been a good friend to you these past weeks.”
Pete shifted to rest his chin on her knee. “I’m sorry right back, Lex. I got too caught up with Crunchee. But you can’t forfeit your old peeps just because you’ve found someone new. And I guess I was so into saving other species, I didn’t see how our friendship was going extinct.”
“Never.” Lexie yawned. Was she tired? She was tired! She yawned again for the joy of it. “I might take a nap out here, but let’s make sure we wake up by sunrise. After all, I’ve got cupcakes to bake.”
15
MUCHO HALLOWEENO
At sunrise, Pete dropped off the Livingstones at their house, now freshly painted a color between pink and purple.
“Mitzi and Blix’s parting gift,” said their mother. “They asked you to ship them their final cupcakes. They said it was time to start their country life.”
“I like the house this color,” Lexie decided.
“Good, since I think it’s permanent,” said Lexie’s father.
Lexie smiled. The mauve house would be a pleasant reminder of Mitzi and Blix, who’d proven their loyalty in the end.
“Hey there, Orville,” said Lexie as she arrived in her bedroom to find the creature waiting worriedly at her window. “Guess what? I had a good sleep last night. It’s just that I slept on a roof, not in a bed.”
“Glad to hear it.” The old creature looked genuinely relieved as he offered her a green Granny Smith apple. “Here. It’s important to start today off right.”
“Why’s that?” Lexie asked with a crunch.
“It’s Halloween and your class election,” reminded Orville.
The election! She’d forgotten! She didn’t even have a costume—except for Maddy’s vampire cape. Well, it would have to do.
Downstairs, Lexie found her brother and sister already outfitted in their grand-finale Halloween costumes.
“The Maddy Hatter.” Lexie nodded. “I like it, Mads. It’s more sly than scary. What’s your catchphrase?”
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