She jumped in her seat. “Because… I called you for more help? Because I tried to walk to your house from town?”
“I wanted you to call me if you needed more help.” Now he stared at his hand, as if he had realized how bad it had looked for him to smack the wall. He pulled it back to hang awkwardly at his side. “And it was a damn fool thing to do, walking this far from town, but you had your reasons for it. No. I’m not mad at you.”
“Well, you’re sure as shit mad at something.”
“I’m mad at me.” He tapped his chest hard with two fingertips. “I’m pissed to hell at myself for not listening to your messages hours ago, when I saw them. I let them sit, and because I did, you almost died tonight.”
The knot in her gut loosened, though the vestiges of tension remained. “So why didn’t you?”
“Because I’m an ass,” he growled. “Fuck, Anita, there’s half a dozen reasons, and right now, none of them seem like good ones.”
“Let me decide that.” She leaned back into the couch cushions with forced casualness.
“To start with? Because I wanted to tell you about what all happened face-to-face. Texts didn’t seem right, phone’s easy to overhear, and…” He paused to look away. When he looked back, his lips quirked to the side in a wry twist. “And I wanted to see you for myself. Make sure Lou hadn’t done you any harm, and that you were all right.”
The steel around her heart melted a little at the confession. “That’s not a bad reason. Though you know you could have asked.”
“I could have, but what would you have said?” One eyebrow went up as he fixed her with a firm gaze. “‘No, Jake, everything’s all right. He took it hard, but it’s over now, and I’m fine.’ And you’d just happen to leave out the bag of frozen peas you were holding over the black eye he’d given you, so I wouldn’t march down and punch his sorry face into his skull.”
Her cheeks heated. She cleared her throat. “I take your point.”
“Mm-hmm.” Even though he hadn’t much taken his gaze off her since he’d found her on the road, he still looked her over again with a quick glance she guessed he didn’t mean for her to notice. Verification. Reassurance that Lou hadn’t hit her, that the Ferals hadn’t touched her.
“I really am all right.”
“I know.” Jake looked away, caught in the act. “So, I thought I’d see you later, after you’d talked to Lou and I’d dealt with what Shane wanted. Which turned into a whole other barrel of snakes.”
What Shane wanted. That sounded like a loaded statement. “What’d Shane want?”
A gust of breath escaped Jake. “He saw your truck driving away from here this morning. Nicole was dragging him to lunch, and they stopped by to see if I wanted to join them. I had to explain the whole damn situation to him. Break it to him that his friend’s an asshole. Shane said he’d talk to Lou and try to minimize the collateral damage to the pack.”
Collateral damage. Guilt gnawed at her, even if she knew she didn’t do anything wrong. Nothing except marrying the wrong man. “I’m really sorry, Jake. I didn’t mean for you guys to get caught up in this.”
“Don’t you apologize. It’s not your fault.” The trailer rocked as he leaned back hard against the wall, arms folded across his chest. He looked fierce. Untouchable. Until she caught the conflict in his eyes. “Shane said I ought to stay clear of you while he sorted it all out. I told him I didn’t like that, but he made a point I couldn’t ignore. The more time I spent around you, the more the fucking rumor mill would grind. That wouldn’t make your life any easier. So I did what he said, went off to deal with the corpses of those Ferals from last night, even though I felt like shit for it.”
That wasn’t all. She could feel a truckload of undropped shoes hanging over them, and she kept waiting for the impact. “Then what?”
His jaw worked a few seconds before he bothered to speak. When he did, she almost wished she hadn’t asked. Except it’s my mess. My problem. I don’t get to stick my head in the sand. “Lou called me. He found out who you stayed with last night.”
Her words came out around her gritted teeth. “What did he say?”
“Nothing important.”
“Jake. What. Did. He. Say.”
“He made some threats, okay? No more than you already expected.” Anger again, but not at her. At least she could see that now. “Puffed up to try to show me what a big dog he is, but I’m not scared of him.”
I am. It cost her in pride to admit that, even if she’d just said it to herself. Today had started out with so much hope, and now she wondered how she’d shovel away all the shit Lou had heaped around her. How had his indiscretion ended up punishing so many others, but not him or the woman who’d committed it with him? And when will it stop?
“That’s not all. You went somewhere, otherwise, you wouldn’t have been driving home.”
“Shane took a stand. He couldn’t take anymore of Lou’s bullshit. So the pack went to the garage to get the bikes Lou still had. Shane has your back. He burned that bridge between him and Lou, when it came down to it.”
A confused welter of emotions bubbled up. Anger, today’s constant companion. At Lou, at Shane, at Jake. At herself most of all, for all the sense that made. I didn’t want this. Any of this. Not this fight in my name, not the troubles the pack will have now… Maybe I should have kept my mouth shut. Gone right on as I had been before. Wasn’t I happy enough the day before yesterday, when I thought Lou and I were like any other couple who had drifted apart?
No. No, and she knew better. When she’d seen the winky smile on the text message, she’d felt the last, fragile tether that held her to Lou snap so she could drift away, free. Until that moment, she hadn’t realized how she’d needed that freedom, or how he had kept her so low to the ground when she could have soared so high. She hadn’t been happy, or even happy enough. Misery had worn the trappings of familiarity and hidden itself in the camouflage of her own blunted expectations.
Without the knowledge of Lou’s cheating, she might have treaded water for years before she realized how unhappy she’d become. Or wasted precious time until she kissed Jake and remembered what it felt like to be loved.
He misinterpreted the silence. As furrows worked their way into his brow, he said, “I should have listened to your messages before we went to get the bikes, but I didn’t want to. If I did, then I would have wanted to call you to tell you what was up. Then you might have said you didn’t want anyone to stir up trouble in your name-”
“I know,” she interrupted. “And you’re right. I wouldn’t have wanted that. I still don’t. But it was going to happen, no matter what I wanted. It had to. Because it wasn’t just about me, and maybe, because sometimes you have to let others help you stand up for yourself.”
Her chest squeezed at his immediate reply. “Anita, you don’t need any help standing up for yourself. You’re damn strong,” he said, as he took two steps forward.
“I am. But everyone needs help sometimes. Shit, Jake, Lou scares me.” The cat darted out of the bag and into the open. “Today, he turned mean. He’s threatened me, and you, and the pack. Want to know what scares me most? That I didn’t think he’d ever do something like that. What the fuck would he have done if I’d stayed home last night? Thinking about that terrifies me.”
It frightened him, too, she could tell. Tension shot through him as he crossed the remaining space between them to sit beside her on the couch. Strong arms wrapped around her to pull her close. “You’re safe now. All right? I won’t let anything happen to you. Fuck keeping my distance. Fuck Lou, fuck Shane if it comes to that. Nothing will hurt you so long as I’m with you, and I’m not going anywhere. Not ever.”
Perhaps she should have pulled back. The paranoid woman within her, the one who’d had enough of betrayal and attacks to last a lifetime, told her to push him away. Warn him that people who got close to her here, where Lou could find out, ended up with more trouble than they’d want to swallow. But Jake knew that
better than anyone, and maybe that worried her most of all. Because he knew, and he sat here anyway, pulling her closer while he told her he would never let go.
Lou will drive you away. He’ll make your life here as deep a Hell as he can, until this home you found runs you back onto the road. No more pack, no more place to call your own after Los Angeles… I don’t want that for you. Let me take care of myself. She couldn’t make herself say the words. Fear wound itself tight in her chest, but she couldn’t force herself to do less than cling to him until the pressure of his embrace smothered her unease away.
Jake had said he’d wanted her since that day in the bar, when she’d welcomed him to town and introduced him to the pack. As she leaned into his chest, buried memories painted themselves across the canvas of her mind. His smile when he saw she was working on any given day he came into the Hungry Howler. The suspicion of the other waitresses that she denied every time, even as she felt the smile pull up the corners of her lips. Her own feeling of warmth when he ended up in her section, and she had an excuse to chat with him.
Never before last night had she considered him as more than a friend. Not as another man’s wife, with Lou’s ring on her finger. Now, as the context she could see Jake in shifted, so did the way she viewed him. A part of her she’d buried beneath the words “I do” had fallen for him, smile by smile, and left all feelings for Lou behind a long time ago.
Conflicted thoughts threatened to consume her. She silenced them by turning her face up and pressing her lips to his. Surprised, Jake froze, but the shock fled as he melted into her kiss. The past could not hold her, and the future she wanted to give herself over to had him in it. Life hadn’t given her any reason to have faith that right would conquer all, but he had. He’d demanded her faith, her belief in him, and claimed it as his own.
Stubble roughed against her palms as she cupped his face in her hands. His hand flattened against the small of her back to hold her against him, possessive and powerful as his ardor overcame his logical mind. One forceful pull brought her onto his lap, her legs astride him. She wound them around his waist as his other hand tangled in her hair and trembled as it did.
“I’m not afraid anymore,” she murmured against his lips. “Not with you here.”
He pulled back far enough to look at her. Fires burned behind his gaze. “Not afraid we’ll go too far?”
“Maybe afraid we won’t go far enough.” She stroked his face, traced the sharp cheekbone and strong curve of his jaw. “Death was right there, staring me in the face earlier. And I realized, I spent years hoping Lou would change, when everything I wanted was sitting at a corner table, waiting for me. I almost died today and wasted the chance to have you.”
His eyes widened. After waiting so long, she imagined he had resigned himself to never hearing her say those words. The surprised pause didn’t last long, though, as he again pulled her into a smothering kiss. Too many years had passed since a kiss had taken her breath away, or a man had demanded her attention with such fierce command that the world fell away to leave only him.
The heat of his lips against hers, the strength of his body as he crushed her to him, dominated her senses. She submitted to it, gave herself over to him. Her hands roamed his chest, cupping the muscles there, feeling the hard, fast beat of his heart beneath his ribs. Eager caresses stroked her back up to her shoulders, then down until they discovered the hem of her shirt. She pried her hands from his torso to help him pull the material over her head. Too much cloth separated them now.
Her shirt had barely cleared her head before she fumbled at the hem of his. A lupine snarl escaped him as he hauled his shirt off. Goosebumps rippled over her skin at the audible reminder that the wolf lurked close beneath his skin. Violence brought it closer to the surface, fear, anger – and passion. The most primal desires called to the beast, and now, it wanted her.
God help her, but she wanted it, too.
Gold eyes took in the sight of her, wearing just her jeans and her bra and her need, plain as day. As he watched, she reached behind her to unfasten the bra clasps. His eyes dilated when her breasts emerged from behind the cloth. The tip of his tongue licked his canine. Under that heated gaze, her nipples tightened to hard, pert nubs, and moisture dampened her panties. He could smell her need, by the way his nostrils flared, and his eyes narrowed like a wolf on the hunt.
She almost didn’t see him move. More like a pounce, hunter on prey, the way he stood and scooped her into his arms. So strong, stronger than a normal man, no more encumbered by her weight than if she were a feather. His lips covered hers with urgent desire as he took deliberate steps toward the bedroom. “Need you,” he murmured, not pulling away. “Tell me I can have you.”
“You can have me.” She wrapped her arms around his neck to keep herself close to his lips.
“All of you.” It came out like a growl. “Tell me I can have you however I want.”
A shudder chased through her. “However you want me, you can have me.”
“Tell me you’re mine.”
It took effort to draw away from his lips so she could look him in the eyes. “I’m yours. Show me what it’s like to be a wolf’s mate.”
The kiss almost bruised her lips, and she wanted more. Let him kiss her hard enough that they melted into each other, two people bound by a yearning so deep, they could never untangle one from the other. He staggered against the wall, embrace still firm but attention drained by the kiss. She wondered if they would make it to the bedroom at all before they had to merge with each other.
They did, though barely. Her back hadn’t rested on the mattress for more than a second before he was pulling at her shoes, her pants, trying to get them off her as fast has he could force the cloth to yield to him. It didn’t help that he tugged at his own clothes as he did, desperate to leave them both bare for each other’s touch. She thought he might tear the material from her in his impatience, or if she might for her need of him.
It felt like days before the warm desert air could touch her bare flesh. Then he was on her again, skin to skin, and she moaned at the sheer pleasure of having his weight on her.
Her palms explored his back, as hungry to touch him as to be touched. His hands caressed her body, the soft skin along her ribcage, the dip of her waist, the curve of her hip, as if he could not go another minute without learning every intimate detail of her form. Time with Lou had left her self-conscious about her body, his apathy leading her to wonder if she wasn’t worth looking at. Jake banished all doubts. His voracious touch banished all shame. Through his eyes, she saw herself as wanted, beautiful, desirable. Vital.
With deliberate, famished kisses, he left a trail of heat down her chest, across her breasts, and over her belly. By the time he nuzzled her mound, intense heat kindled at the core of her and waited for the spark to set it aflame. She glanced down the length of her body and met his eyes. They burned as hot as her lust for him. “I’ve waited so damn long to taste you,” he murmured.
His tongue touched home, the gentlest caress on her folds. A soft whimper escaped her as the hesitant vulnerability of being so open to his view burned away at the first flare of pleasure. Another wave of heat coursed through her as he tasted her in earnest, long strokes of his tongue tracing each sensitive line of skin. With strong hands, he pulled her down closer to him, and pushed her legs onto his shoulders to claim a better angle to suckle the folds of her pussy, her clit.
She cried out, overcome with the sensation as he pushed his tongue into her. A soft growl answered. When he removed his tongue, it was only to replace it with his fingers, leaving his tongue free to circle the sensitive nub of flesh above her passage. Bedding bunched under her as she writhed, unable to keep herself still as first one finger, then a second, slipped inside. After years with the same disinterested lover, his fingers within her felt strange. Forbidden. Perfect.
But not enough. Never enough. Not until he filled her. “Jake, please…” she begged, and reached down to nestle her fing
ers into his hair.
He glanced up again. “Do you want me?”
“Yes.”
“Do you need me?”
“Yes! Please, Jake…”
He required no more urging than that. On his hands and knees he stalked up the bed, nipping at her flesh as he made his way over her body. She tasted herself on his lips as he kissed her again, and felt the head of his cock nudge against her folds as he slid an arm beneath her waist. He trapped her there, right where she wanted to be, with him poised to claim what she desperately needed to give him. As much as she’d had of him already, she had yet to sate the ache that required him closer, buried deep, filling her with him.
Then he pressed forward to take her, growling in the back of his throat as he worked his way deep into her pussy one lunge of his hips at a time. Each one opened her more, reminded her body how it felt to be filled and taken. Open-mouthed moans spilled out of her as his cock stretched her, spread her until his hips rested against hers. She wound her legs around him to keep him there, inside her, close enough at last. His entire body trembled as he propped himself over her, mouth open and eyes closed as he lost himself in the feeling of their connection.
Whatever inhibitions she’d held until this moment evaporated in the heat between them. Eager for all of him, she ran her hands over his back. Muscles rippled beneath her hands, strong and glorious and hers for enjoying. She followed them down to the curve of his backside, squeezed, gasped as he rolled his hips forward in reply. A rough moan answered her. His hips moved again, shaking as he fought for the control to hold still, to just feel her around him instead of working towards the climax. She could have stayed there forever with their bodies bound together in an intimate connection unlike any other she had experienced.
Except she needed him. Needed to feel him push her higher until the pleasure overcame her, needed to feel him fill her, claim her, burn the last of the day away with the fire between them.
Dare the Wolf: A Bully Boys Novel of Paranormal Romance Page 8
