Cord handed over the baby, then went in search of Sharon Lynn. He found her in what was apparently her grandfather’s office, standing at the window, staring off into the distance. He doubted she even saw the beautiful rugged scenery. He stepped up behind her and rested his hands on her shoulders. She trembled at his touch.
“Don’t panic, darlin’. We’ve known all along this could happen.”
“That doesn’t make it any easier.”
Cord sighed heavily. “No,” he agreed. “It doesn’t make it any easier.”
Whether it was the evidence that he understood or sheer need, she turned and wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her face against his chest and wept. Cord had to fight the sting of his own tears as he held her and let her cry.
When she was all cried out, he tucked a finger under her chin and tilted her head up until their eyes met.
“It’s not over yet,” he reminded her gently. “This could be a false alarm. Or the mother could be incapable of caring for the child. We don’t know yet what this means.”
“I know but—”
He touched a finger to her lips. “No buts. Right now we need to get back out there and see how our girl is doing. It’s the here and now that counts, remember?”
He watched as panic flared when she realized for the first time that he hadn’t brought Ashley with him.
“Who has her?” she asked.
“I left her with Justin. He seemed capable enough.”
“He’d better be,” she said dryly. “He and Patsy have a little boy from her first marriage and one of their own on the way. Nobody’s better qualified to be a daddy than Justin, though. He’s totally unflappable. It’s ironic, really. His father—you met Jordan—was absolutely panicked at the idea of becoming a father when he married Kelly and adopted her daughter. That’s Dani.”
“The veterinarian whose house you’re living in?”
“Exactly. Anyway, Jordan thought he was totally unsuited for parenthood. Turned out he was a natural.”
“Seems to me as if all the Adamses are naturals when it comes to parenthood. I’ve never met a group of people more taken with babies than your family.”
“I know. It’s one of my biggest regrets—” she cut off the potentially revealing statement before its conclusion.
“What is?” Cord prompted.
“That I’ll never have a family of my own.”
“Why on earth would you say that?” Cord demanded. “You’re a young woman. If ever anyone was suited to marriage and kids, it’s you.”
She refused to meet his gaze. “I had my chance and lost it,” she said bleakly.
Before he could respond to that, she turned and walked away.
How? Cord wondered. How had she lost her chance and why was she so convinced that she would never have another one? If ever they were to have a chance, he had to know the explanation behind that despairing remark. How much longer would it be before she trusted him enough to tell him? At the moment, he was deeply regretting his promise to himself not to seek the answers wherever he could find them.
Chapter 7
On Monday, still panicked by Justin’s announcement of a lead on the baby’s mother, Sharon Lynn refused to let Ashley out of her sight. Barely was the baby ever out of her arms, even as she worked at Dolan’s. She felt as if time were slipping away from her, as if she might turn around at any second and discover that the baby had vanished as quickly and miraculously as she had appeared.
Despite her best intentions, despite all the warnings everyone had given her, she had gone and fallen in love with the child for whom she’d been caring the past couple of weeks. Holding her, loving her, had been like a gift from God, a second chance to have the family she’d dreamed of.
How ironic that another woman had held the child—had given birth to her—and had still somehow managed to let her go. Had it been a sacrifice, an act of desperation, or had the mother been relieved by the very act that so terrified Sharon Lynn—letting go?
Even though she’d known from the beginning that her claim on the baby was tenuous, known that it could end at any moment, with every day that passed without a lead, hope had taken root and started to grow.
By Saturday when she and Cord had indulged in that totally impetuous shopping spree, she had begun to envision a future, one that included all three of them, because somehow she couldn’t think of the baby without thinking of Cord, too. As impossible as it seemed, it fit. It all fit.
And it was all make-believe. Justin’s words had been the proof of that. Ashley had a real mother out there somewhere, a woman who was entitled to her daughter.
No, Sharon Lynn thought fiercely. A woman who abandoned her baby in the middle of a blizzard had no rights. None. She closed her eyes and tried to shut out the thousand and one voices telling her that until she knew all the facts, she shouldn’t be making judgments. It was a lesson her grandfather had instilled in all of them.
“Wait until you know the facts,” he would say when one or another of them claimed some slight.
Sharon Lynn reminded herself of that now. All that really mattered, she told herself, all that could matter was that the baby remained safe, that she had a good life. If her family could give her that, then so be it.
It hurt, though. It hurt to think she might never see Ashley again, might never hold her or comfort her or watch her grow. She’d never imagined how difficult it would be.
“Are you okay?”
Cord’s quiet question startled her. She’d thought she was alone behind the counter at Dolan’s. The morning rush was over and it was another hour before the lunch crowd would begin straggling in. The last person she’d expected to see in the middle of a busy ranch workday was Cord, especially when he was so committed to making a good impression on his new job. One glance at his haggard expression told her that he’d slept no better than she had the night before, even if he had been back in his own bed out at White Pines, rather than on her sofa.
“What brings you into town? Shouldn’t you be working?”
“My mind wasn’t on my work,” he admitted. “Your father finally took pity on me and sent me on some errands before I could make a costly mistake. I’m pretty sure he intended that I wind up here. He said your mother didn’t like the way you sounded on the phone this morning.”
Sharon Lynn smiled ruefully. “Which explains why she was here an hour ago, claiming she had to pick up a few little things, even though she left without buying anything more than a cup of coffee.”
“I guess everyone heard the news yesterday, then. Once Justin said it, everything else going on out there pretty much faded into the background for me.”
“Believe me, that little tidbit spread like wildfire,” Sharon Lynn acknowledged. “Though everyone was very careful not to mention it around me.”
“I know they’re worried about how you’ll take losing Ashley if you have to give her up, but I got the distinct impression there was more to it than that,” Cord said, regarding her cautiously. “Is there something else they’re worried about?”
Sharon Lynn sighed. She knew he was fishing for an explanation for all the hints and innuendo people had no doubt been dropping ever since his arrival. Maybe it was time she simply told him why everyone tended to walk on eggshells around her. Why they stared at her sometimes as if she might crack like a delicate bit of old porcelain.
“I suppose there’s no reason for you not to know,” she said eventually. “Everyone else does.”
She hesitated, wondering if she could get the words out. For a long time now, she’d thought if she didn’t talk about the accident, never mentioned Kyle at all, the pain would go away. Of course, it hadn’t.
While she debated what to say, Cord remained silent, watching her patiently. She found that reassuring.
“I was engaged for a very long time.” She began slowly, then went on in a rush. “Last summer we finally got married.”
His eyes widened with unmistakable shock and, p
erhaps, something more, something that could even be regret. But his voice was steady, “You’re married? But where…?”
“I’m getting to that,” she said, her gaze pleading with him for patience. She drew in a deep breath before going on. “That night, leaving the reception, we were hit by a drunk driver. My husband was killed.”
She managed to get the words out in a matter-of-fact way, despite the raw emotions that were churning inside her. She avoided looking directly at Cord, fearful of what she might read on his face. She wasn’t sure whether to expect disgust or dismay or pity. She wasn’t prepared to deal with any of them.
“The damned fool!”
His sharp, angry words startled her into looking up. He reached for her hand and enveloped it in his. There was genuine warmth and comfort in his touch, but it was his obvious outrage on her behalf that meant the most.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry you had to go through that.” His gaze narrowed as a thought apparently occurred to him. “You’re not blaming yourself, are you?”
“I was driving.”
“What the hell difference does that make? The other driver was drunk. He was responsible, not you. There ought to be a special place in hell for people like that.”
She was stunned by his fierce tone. It was more than sympathy for her tragedy. That much was clear, but she didn’t know exactly what to make of it.
“Cord?” she whispered.
He blinked as if he’d been someplace very far away and had been suddenly drawn back by the sound of her voice.
“What is it?” she asked.
“I was just thinking about my father,” he said with stunning bitterness. “He was picked up more times than I can recall for drinking and driving. Around where we lived, everyone knew him. The sheriff’s deputies would pull him over, load him into their car and haul him on home. Maybe if they’d arrested him, thrown his sorry butt in jail, he would have sobered up, instead of wasting his whole life on booze.”
He glanced at her, then sighed. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to get off on that. We were talking about what happened to you. I just couldn’t help thinking that but for the grace of God, my father could have killed someone and left someone like you to grieve and blame themselves.”
“But he didn’t,” she reminded him. “That’s something to be thankful for, isn’t it?”
Cord sighed. “Yes.” He studied her. “That’s why you don’t drink, isn’t it?”
She nodded. “Just seeing a beer in someone’s hand is enough to upset me.”
“I should have guessed that night you told me you never kept alcohol in your house.”
“How could you? It could have been anything.”
“There are people who drink responsibly,” he reminded her. “A glass of wine with dinner, a beer while they’re working in the hot sun.”
“I know that, but I find myself watching everyone like a hawk, worrying that the next drink will be the one that makes them a menace on the road.” She gave a rueful shrug. “I guess I’m not likely to be the life of the party ever again, am I? In fact, I’m sure there are those in my family who blame me for putting a damper on all our gatherings.”
“I’m sure your family understands exactly where you’re coming from. How could they help it?” He regarded her intently. “Maybe sometime you’ll tell me more about your husband.”
Sharon Lynn was startled by the suggestion. “You want to hear about Kyle? Why?”
“Because he was important to you. Why is that so shocking?”
“Because no one else even mentions his name anymore.”
“Maybe they’re afraid of bringing up bad memories.”
“I suppose, but it makes it lonelier, you know? As if he never even existed.”
Cord held out his hand, waited until she’d put hers into it again. “We’ll make a deal then. Anytime you feel like talking about him, you come to me and I’ll listen.”
“You won’t mind?”
“I’d only mind if you thought there was anything you couldn’t share with me.”
She stared at him in amazement. He meant it, too. What a remarkable man Cord Branson was! It wasn’t the first time she’d thought that, but it made her wonder how many more surprises her relationship with him was likely to hold. Just knowing that he understood her feelings about possibly losing Ashley, knowing that he shared those feelings, was a small comfort. Knowing that he would listen if she needed to talk about Kyle or the accident made her feel doubly blessed. His offer had been a generous one.
“Thank you.”
He gave her a quizzical look. “For?”
“Listening to me go on and on.”
“Now, darlin’, that was my pleasure. It gave me a reason to stay right here with my two favorite girls.”
Ashley gave him a toothless smile as if she’d understood exactly what he was saying. Sharon Lynn’s smile was more restrained. There was a huge lump in her throat that wouldn’t quite go away. How much longer would either of them have their baby girl to hold and fuss over and love?
She turned away so he wouldn’t see her tears. “I hate this,” she murmured. “I hate this endless waiting.”
“Me, too,” he said quietly. “Maybe you should call Justin and see what he’s learned. Get it over with.”
“I don’t know if I dare. I’m not sure I want to know the answer.”
“It’s the not-knowing that’s a killer. Once we know, we can deal with the rest.”
She sighed heavily. “I suppose you’re right.” She reached for the phone at the end of the counter and dialed the sheriff’s office. She was surprised to find the old dispatcher back on the job.
“Hey, Becky, is Justin around?”
“No. He’s gone over to Garden City. Is it urgent? I can get him on the radio and tell him to call you.”
“That’s okay. Just tell him when he gets back. That’s soon enough.”
“Will do.”
“How’s the baby, Becky? I thought you had another week of maternity leave coming?”
“I did, but Justin started growling around here and the temp just up and quit on Friday, so here I am.”
“I know he’s glad to have you back.”
“That’s what he says today. By tomorrow my return will be old news and he’ll be jumping down my throat like always.”
“Yes, but you know how to growl right back,” Sharon Lynn reminded her with a laugh. “Justin has never intimidated you.”
“That’s because we’ve known each other since kindergarten. I know all his dirty little secrets. Whoops, I’ve got another call coming in. You take care now.”
“Bye, Becky.” She hung up the phone slowly.
“No news?” Cord asked.
“Justin’s in Garden City. He’ll call when he gets back.”
“Do you think he’s over there checking out the lead?”
“The dispatcher didn’t say.”
“But you think that’s what he’s gone over there for, don’t you?”
She nodded. “Garden City’s not his jurisdiction. I don’t think he’d be over there otherwise.”
“Then we wait.”
“Don’t you need to get back out to White Pines?”
“Not until we know something,” he said.
“But Daddy—”
“Your father will understand.” He gave her a look suggesting she might as well stop arguing. “Now how about heating up a bottle for our girl? She’s beginning to get fussy.”
“I’ll take her,” Sharon Lynn offered.
“No, you won’t. She’s just fine right here with me, aren’t you, sweet thing?”
The baby reached up and looked for all the world as if she were patting his cheek in agreement. Cord had a silly, enchanted grin on his face that almost broke Sharon Lynn’s heart. He might not have said the words, he might be taking this wait with stoic patience, but he had every bit as much at stake on the outcome of Justin’s investigation as she did.
When she had the bottle wa
rm, she came out from behind the counter and stood beside Cord as he fed the baby. When Ashley was sucking lustily, he glanced at Sharon Lynn, then reached over and slid his arm around her waist, drawing her closer. It was an intimate gesture, one that reminded her all too vividly of how thoroughly, solidly masculine he was, but there was nothing sexual about the loose embrace.
So why was she suddenly imagining the sweep of his hand from her waist to her hip, the slow caress of her breast? Why was she tingling in a totally unexpected and purely feminine way? Why in the midst of panic, with the threat of losing Ashley imminent, why was she feeling so totally and thoroughly alive again? She wasn’t at all sure she wanted to know the answer to that.
They were still close together when the first of the customers came in wanting lunch. She left his embrace with reluctance, stepped away from him and the baby. It was only a few feet, with merely a narrow span of Formica separating them, but suddenly she felt colder and more alone than she could remember feeling at any time since Kyle’s death.
After making a call to Cody to explain the delay, Cord lingered at Dolan’s for the rest of the afternoon. He couldn’t bear to leave Sharon Lynn to face the wait alone. Truthfully he wasn’t sure he could have endured the wait any better out at White Pines, even if Cody had tried working him to death.
The truth was he was stunned by the speed and depth of his feelings for Sharon Lynn and the baby he’d refused to put down all afternoon. Every time he was with them that initial tug of yearning he’d felt to turn them into a family grew into something more and more powerful. As impossible as it seemed, the bond between him and Sharon Lynn was already deep and lasting, every bit as strong as if they’d been husband and wife and shared the birth of this child.
For the first time in his life, he wasn’t afraid to admit that he was gut-deep scared. Not of the emotions. They’d felt right to him from the beginning. But of losing it all, everything he’d found here in Los Piños. Justin Adams had the power to take it all away from him, if he came back from Garden City with news that the baby’s mother wanted her back. He feared that losing Ashley would break the bond between him and Sharon Lynn, that she would shut him out and face her grief all alone, as she’d apparently done after losing her husband.
The Unclaimed Baby Page 8
