by Alice Ward
Mindless, I gripped her hips with both hands and thrust deep, pounding into her as something primal coursed through me. The sound of our flesh coming together filled the room as she lifted her hips, meeting every thrust. Knowing she needed me as much as I needed her was driving me crazy.
She came, her body tightening and twisting, low, raw moans filling my ears. I chased her release, needing my own now and replaced pace for force. Seconds later, she exploded again. I came only a breath after her.
Being careful now, I pulled out, gazing down at the still writhing body of the woman I loved. Full breasts heaved, leaking, but so beautiful. Motherhood agreed with her.
I skimmed my fingers down the stomach that had housed our baby, then further down. As my fingers grazed her center, my finger disappearing between her folds, she arched into the touch and I transferred our combined juices to her swollen and tender clit.
I looked at her closely, fascinated with the body that had so willing given life. I wanted to keep the image of that precious part of her anatomy in my mind forever. Using my palms, I massaged her and then parted her, rendering a contrast of warmth and cool air that further excited her. She writhed beneath my attentions and I watched her juices flowing out as the rosy flesh inside pulsed in her excitement.
I loved this woman and knew I could never leave her. She would be by my side forever. Just to prove the point to myself, I entered her once more, tenderly. We were lying, completely immersed like this when we fell asleep. At some time in the night, I awoke to discover my hard cock nestled between her legs. I moved just enough to insert myself again and I heard her moan in contentment.
All the money in the world could not find me another Auggie. All we needed was one another, naked and in full harmony. How long was the road we had traveled in order to discover this simple realization?
I arose to the sound of her in the shower. I punched myself up a coffee and heard the baby crying and her soothing voice in response. She came into the kitchen and sat with me, young Ford nursing at her breast while we talked.
“I have a client coming in and need to get going,” I said finally, stroking Ford’s cheek and Auggie’s nursing breast in one uniting sweep. I’d never seen something so beautiful as watching the woman I adored nursing our little one.
“Ford and I are going to ride out to the farm and visit Dad,” she said. “He doesn’t get to see the baby enough.”
I hadn’t seen Mrs. Langford since the baby was born. I wasn’t entirely sure that she’d even seen him but it was of no concern to me. I left it to Auggie and her own conscience.
“Be careful, the roads are still a bit slick after that frost last night,” I mentioned as I headed out.
Auggie
After all that happened with Worth’s father, I was not very keen about bringing Mother into Ford’s life. She had already ruined two generations and I knew she hadn’t yet slowed down. Dad had come to the hospital, but Mother didn’t accompany him. It seemed she and I had reached an impasse and had a mutual understanding.
All that aside, I knew that it couldn’t go on that way indefinitely, if only because it wasn’t fair to Ford. He deserved access to both his grandmothers in an equal way. Someday, when he was old enough, he could learn of the problems she and I had and make up his own mind how to think of them. In the meantime, it would be too confusing to have such strife between us.
So, I had decided that morning to finally take Ford to see her. I knew she seldom left home so there was no valid reason to call ahead. If anything, it would only prepare her to have acerbic remarks waiting and I really did not need to hear these.
We arrived at the farm and Dad must have seen us pulling in. Before I tackled Mother, I took Ford in his carrier to visit Carlos. I wanted Carlos to get used to him so he would know Ford was a part of me and be calm. Carlos nuzzled me happily and then carefully sniffed Ford. He seemed convinced that Ford was acceptable and I was very relieved. It was also important that Ford begin to think of the smell of a stable as being part of home. I hoped to give him a pony and riding lessons before he turned five.
As we left the paddock, Mother was standing inside the doorway. She simply looked at us through the glass, her face emotionless. Dad went ahead of me and opened the door, causing her to step backward.
“This is Ford, Mother,” I said as I walked inside.
She looked at her grandchild and said, “All babies look alike,” before she turned and walked off. I could not say that I was extremely surprised at her reaction. Other than his eyes, Ford was definitely a LaViere.
I walked into the living room and sat down to pull Ford’s heavy clothing off and to feed him some milk I had pumped before we left. I changed his diaper and Mother sat across the room, her face registering nothing although I know I saw her eyes dart across the room from time to time. I knew eventually she would give in and warm up to him, but it would be a process, not an event. It had to be accomplished on her terms.
Once Ford was over my shoulder being burped, she began her assault.
“We were sorry to hear of Worth’s loss,” she started.
“Thank you.”
“Why did he kill himself?” She was blunt, if tactless.
“Mother, do you really want to get into this now?”
“You can think of a better time?” she snapped, her mouth twisting into something that was anything but attractive.
“I wasn’t talking about the baby, Mother,” I said meaningfully.
“It’s okay, Auggie,” Dad said. “I know your mother’s secrets.”
My head snapped around at this. I had no idea.
“That’s right,” he added. “When your mother found herself with child, we were married and I drove her down to your aunt’s. It has never changed how I felt about her. I loved her for many years before then. If anything, it gave me an opportunity I might not have ordinarily had.”
“Dad, you are unbelievable, do you know that?” I gave him the praise and admiration he deserved but that didn’t sit well with Mother.
“Worth was an ass,” she put in coldly.
“Mother, are you really sure you want to talk about this right now?”
“Auggie, I know you have little, if any, respect left for me and I suppose I can’t blame you. But let’s put this on the table and get it over with. Worth LaViere ran with the fastest crowd. He was like a gang leader, if I had to describe it.” Her voice was almost reminiscent and her eyes glazed as she pictured Worth’s father as he was when they were young. I knew this was not lost on Dad and wondered how he could even stand to stay in the room. “All the girls wanted to be with him and I suppose I wasn’t any different than they were. You have to know what that’s like,” she said in an almost pleading voice.
I nodded, although not avidly. “I was also raised by parents who taught me to stay away from boys like that.” I couldn’t help but say it. All these years I had taken her nasty comments and heavy-handed supervision. I was a mother now and even though I was taught to respect my elders, she was forcing this topic to the surface. I wasn’t going to let her out of it so easily. It was time she grew up.
“Okay, I deserved that,” she allowed and shifted in her chair.
I realized at that moment how much she looked exactly like the furniture in the room where we sat. It was hard, unrelenting and monotone. She surrounded herself with pious misery and expected everyone to accept that as the best way to live. I wasn’t going to accept it.
“Tell me about the baby.” I forced it out into the open.
Her eyes grew momentarily as if the memory had just now come back to her. Even Dad exhaled a bit uncertain whether she was up to talking about it.
“Dad needs to hear about this, too, you know,” I said. “He has stood by you all these years and it’s time he gets a bit of recognition for that.”
She nodded, drew a deep breath and began in a voice that blamed everyone but herself. I should have expected nothing more.
“Worth used me and dum
ped me on the side of the road, literally, one night. I can still hear his laugh. He’d pestered me over and over until I finally gave in. I thought he would marry me. I was so wrong. He wouldn’t even acknowledge that he’d been with me. Told people that I was loose and suggested I was beneath his level. That’s when I discovered I was pregnant.” She stopped there, swallowing hard and fixating her eyes on some spot in the distance that didn’t require her brain to think.
“I went to him at that farm and found him back in the paddocks with another girl. She was undressed from the waist down and he was upon her. I screamed and that startled her. She pulled herself together and ran. I guess she must have lived nearby. I was sobbing and ran up to him, telling him I was going to have his baby. He laughed and told me it was my problem. I remember slapping him and he hit me in the face in return, hard. I threatened to go to his parents and he said if I did, he’d kill me. He was wild. I believed him, so I left.”
Dad stood up to go and comfort Mother, but she waved him off. “No, let me say this. Time it was said.” She was going to finally lay it out, even if she was being a bit dramatic.
She continued. “Your father had been interested in me for some time but I only had eyes for Worth. When I found myself with a baby on the way, I went to him for comfort and he insisted that I marry him to save myself the embarrassment. I said I wanted to get rid of the baby, that I didn’t want anything to do with Worth LaViere. We drove to Florida, to my aunt’s place in Naples. Your father stayed with me the whole time. We were married before a Justice of the Peace and he talked me into giving up the baby instead of having an abortion. They took the child from me and that’s the last I ever saw of it. I never knew the sex, never knew what happened to it. I pushed that part of my life into the past and never looked back.
“Years later, our family began hosting the barbecues and it would have caused talk if the LaVieres weren’t invited. It would have brought scandal that none of us wanted. We wanted it all forgotten. Those were the pictures you found. You know the rest, Auggie. That’s all there is to tell. Condemn if you wish, but there you have it.”
“Mother,” I swallowed, “actually there is more to it.”
“What do you mean?” One fine eyebrow lifted. “Of course there isn’t. You want to gloat? Go ahead. Your mother got herself pregnant. I had no right to be so hard on you and I guess now, looking back, I was trying to save you from the embarrassment and humiliation I went through. I didn’t want your life ruined the way mine had been.”
“Well, thank you very much,” Dad said, standing, hands closed to fists at his side. “I hardly would call marrying me quite as bad as all that.”
“No, no, I didn’t mean that,” she said in a tired voice that suggested his feelings really weren’t the consideration he was looking for. Her red hair was frazzled, pinned onto her head in a very unbecoming manner.
I could only see red. All my life I had taken and taken from her — the condescension, the complaints, the put-downs, I had taken all that and more. But now she was making a tragedy out of being married to one of the most genuine, generous, wonderful people in the world — my father. I could not stand for that. I would not listen to it. Even if it meant that I would never see her again or if she was not to be a part of Ford’s life — it was time she got her comeuppance.
I began to put Ford’s outdoor clothing back on him. She could see I was preparing to leave. “Where are you going, Auggie. We’re not done here,” she said, aggravated that her drama was to be curtailed.
“Oh, yes, we are done, Mother. Let me tell you a little something. First of all, the only person who can stand you is here in this room and it isn’t me. That man who you’ve spent a lifetime belittling is worth a hundred of you. You were lucky that he loved you enough to stand up through what you put him through. He deserved to be loved for himself, to be adored because he has a huge heart and a noble spirit and the courage to get through the worst things that could be thrown at him. He is enough of a man to stand up even to you, Mother. This man saved you from utter disgrace. I cannot believe the way you’re treating him!” I continued to zip up Ford’s little outfit.
“You’re not leaving yet, young lady,” she tried again.
“You’re right, Mother, I’m not. Not yet. I have a little bit more to say before I go and I hope Dad will go with me. You’re right about one thing. Worth LaViere, II was a bastard, in more ways than you might ever know. That baby you had that was adopted out? It went nowhere. Nowhere but right into LaViere’s hands and that baby grew up to be Linc LaViere, living right here in this same town.”
Mother gasped as the words began to sink in. “But he’s, he’s…”
“Yes, Mother, he’s dead. You lost him not once, but twice. If he were still here, he would probably hate you as much as I do,” I said quietly.
“Auggie! How can you say that about your own mother?” she cried out, her voice rising to an hysterical level.
“Because, dear Mother, he may have been a bastard, but you certainly are a bitch. You’re right you didn’t deserve what you got — you didn’t deserve to find a man as loving and loyal as my father to save your stupid ass.”
I looked at Dad, who was looking as shell-shocked as my mom. “I’m sorry, Dad, if this hurts you, but you should know it anyway. Mother, here, almost caused Worth to lose his clinic. He was being blackmailed by his father and Dr. Jervis, Worth’s original partner. They claimed Worth was abusing his position as a psychologist by breaking the vows of doctor / patient ethics. You know why? Because they both had dirty hands and my Worth stood to expose them both!”
I took in a deep breath so I could speak this next part. “Worth went into the clinic the night you were in there fucking Jervis, dear Mother.” Her voice choked in a gasp and Dad’s face went white. “That’s right, Mother. Worth saw your fat, ugly ass high in the air while that limp-dick Jervis was fucking you!” I was beside myself in anger and amazed at the sailor’s language that was pouring from my mouth. It matched how I felt and anything less would have underserved the vulgarity of her betrayal. “Worth caught you but didn’t recognize you until the night he came here and I introduced him to you. You nearly went into a dead faint and it wasn’t for a while that he realized why. Then he identified you by your horrid, dyed, red hair. He knew why you behaved so rudely, why you didn’t want him around and why you have always been so cruel to Dad and to me. I won’t let it happen any longer, Mother. I can’t even stand to use that word with you. You will not be around Ford. As far as I’m concerned, you’re dead to him.”
My voice had risen to shouting and I didn’t care. It felt like a huge boil within me had burst. All the subdued anger I felt finally surfaced and poured out with the vile words I used. It poured out and all over the creature who had made our lives miserable.
“Dad, I’m leaving and nothing would make me happier than if you were to come with me. We have plenty of room at the new house and you can have a suite of rooms. You need never see this woman again!” I stood to leave, but it seemed Dad had a few things to say as well.
“Caren, you know I have always stood by you all these years. I’ve lied for you, I married you and I held you all those nights when I knew you were really crying for him. I threw away any chance of true love and happiness for myself and stayed with you.”
He took a step toward my mother but seemed to force himself to stop. “I want you to know now that it wasn’t for you. It hasn’t been for some time. It was for this young lady who you see before you, and for the baby she’s holding in her arms. I wanted Auggie to have the best I could possibly provide for her. She’s my blood, Caren. You cannot ever take that away. You can withhold your affections from me and I’ll sleep in a separate room my entire life — but you can never take Auggie away from me.”
He spread his arms wide, indicating the room. “Now… I seem to remember that this house and all that is in it was paid for by my money. You had none and never did. If you remember, my parents insisted that if I w
as to marry you, you had to sign a prenuptial. Well, I’m calling in the marker, dear Caren. I want a divorce and I want you off this property within thirty days. I will give you a small bankroll so you can find somewhere to go, but then you’ll have to find a way to take care of yourself. Somehow, I don’t think you’ll have great difficulty doing that. It seems that eventually you manage to get off your back and up onto your feet. Even when they’re in the air.”
Mother was half sitting, half lying in her chair. She had completely collapsed and for a moment, I wondered whether she was having a stroke. Her arm was raised in the air, clawing at space as if trying to restore her grip on her life.
“Auggie, you go on home, dear. I’m going to stay here and keep an eye on things,” Dad said calmly. I knew he didn’t mean that he was looking after Mother, but after his own welfare and possessions. I’d never known about the prenuptial and couldn’t believe how stupid Mother was to have endangered her ability to live by treating my dad so badly.
I nodded, kissed Dad on the cheek and never looked back at the woman who gave me life. As far as I was concerned, she did not exist.
***
My hands were shaking on the drive back to town. I was, at first, appalled at my own behavior and language. That was totally unlike me. I had to do it, though. It had to be that kind of behavior. The kind of language that was irretrievably a part of our verbal history and could not be taken back. It was the only way it would work with Mother and me. A clean cut.
I pulled into the parking lot at the clinic and carried Ford with me into the lobby. “I need to see my husband,” I said to Patsy and there must have been a look on my face that worried her because she instantly came out from behind her desk and escorted me through the back entrance into Worth’s inner office.
“He’s in another part of the clinic just now, finishing a group session. I’ll have him in here in less than five minutes.” She patted me on the shoulder. “Anything I can get you or the baby?”
I shook my head. “Just my husband,” I said again and she hurried out.
