by Becky Lower
“Turning his head has been years in the making,” Caroline smoothed the apron over her jumping stomach. “And we’re just friends.”
“Right. And the Pope is just another parishioner.” Penny giggled at her own joke. “Relax and enjoy the ride, Caro.”
Caroline rolled a cart filled with new merchandise to the shop floor, sniffed the mild fragrance hanging in the air, and busied herself rearranging the shelves to prominently display the new goods. She’d stifled a groan in front of Penny, but she certainly didn’t relish facing a mob of angry teenage girls and grown women this afternoon. They could be vicious, maybe even more so than Tony Dillard.
Now that the air between her and Grant had cleared, and she understood completely the reason behind his actions years ago, nothing stood in the way of taking the relationship to the next level. Caroline hummed the latest Adele song as she stocked the shelves of The Treasure Chest and thought about taking the next step. Which led her immediately to thoughts of Michael.
After his death, she hadn’t taken another lover. She couldn’t even consider moving forward. Even though they’d talked about his death being a very real possibility and how she should find someone else to spend her life with, the reality of the situation had been much harder than their talk. The talk had been tough enough to get through.
She didn’t need to give the situation with Grant much thought at the moment. After all, they had only spent one dinner together and enjoyed a couple of kisses. They’d take things slow and spend a couple months becoming familiar with the adult versions of themselves. She’d enjoy his hot, torchy kisses now and worry about the next step later.
She spent the remainder of the morning reliving their heated kiss, and wondering what would happen if they did turn up their relationship one degree more.
****
Grant stopped by Caroline’s room in the school office late Monday afternoon and hesitated in the doorway to drink in her image and to seal it into his memory bank. She hadn’t yet noticed him and focused on the screen while she chewed on her bottom lip. Tendrils of blonde hair floated around her face, having come loose from her high ponytail. He could have stared at her all day but the need to touch her, to make contact with her, overrode his decision to linger in the doorway. He shuffled his feet, and his sneakers squeaked on the highly polished linoleum.
She jumped at the noise and glanced up quickly. Then she smiled.
Grant’s breath whooshed out with her reaction. He took the remaining few steps and brushed back her hair, hooking a loose lock behind her ear. “You’ve been hard at work, I see.” He nodded toward the screen.
She waved a hand in front of the computer screen. “This program couldn’t be more confusing if they’d tried. No wonder all you teachers are having problems. I’m finding ways to shortcut some of the unnecessary steps and will create a manual for you guys.” Caroline rolled her shoulders and shifted her gaze from the screen to him. “Are you done for the day?”
A slow grin spread over his face. “Now that basketball season is over, I get to go home at the same time the kids do. I need some exercise so I thought about taking a run in the park. Are you game?”
“If by ‘park’ you mean Acadia, absolutely.” Caroline closed out the program and shut down the computer.
“A large part of the park is shut down in winter, but portions of Park Loop Road are still open. We can run through those sections.” Grant stood alongside as she rose, relishing the closeness of their bodies and inhaling her now-familiar flowery scent.
“I’ll need to go home and change first.” She stepped away and picked up her purse and coat. “Can you drive over to the apartment and get me in a half hour?”
He ran a hand down his front. “I have a better idea. I brought my running clothes, and I’ve already changed, so why don’t I walk with you back to the apartment, and then we take your car?” Grant had no intention of letting her out of his sight. “I’ll protect you from the mean streets of Lobster Cove.”
Caroline inserted her arms into her coat sleeves and yanked out her ponytail from the collar. “The streets of town are perfectly safe, as you are well aware.” She smiled again.
A feeling of warmth washed over his body, and he shrugged. “All I could come up with on the spur of the moment.”
She tugged on his hand. “Come on then. I’m eager to see the park in winter. A run is just what I need.”
Grant thought their previous date had been pretty spectacular, but being invited into her apartment again definitely took their relationship in the right direction, even if only for a few minutes. A few minutes with her changing clothes behind a closed door. He could sit in her living room and fantasize as she removed layers of clothing. His body grew warm, and he began to sweat as if he were finished with the run instead of not yet started. The run he planned might take place along the cold roads of Acadia Park, but the warmth in his body wouldn’t be affected as long as Caroline ran beside him.
He bumped her shoulder as they ate up the distance between the school and the apartment. Since they were side by side, he took advantage of the closeness and held her mitten-covered hand once the school faded into the background. He could feel her fingers curl around his hand and released a long breath. He needed to tread softly, and if holding hands and an occasional steamy kiss were all she could manage right now, he’d give her time. He’d waited more than fifteen years to be with her. What were a few more months? He’d take advantage of each meeting, each date, to press home his intention that he planned to make her part of his future.
Chapter Thirteen
Grant and Caroline finished their run through the park and cooled down as they strode slowly alongside one another back to the car, their breaths forming tiny vapor clouds as they talked. During the run, they took turns with the lead. Grant allowed Caroline to run on ahead so he could enjoy her body rhythm as she pounded the pavement. Then he’d taken the lead, hoping she’d enjoy the view as well. Most of the time, they ran alongside each other since they only passed an occasional car on the Loop Road.
Caroline wore a black earmuff band around her head, and a tan woolen cap blocked his view of her hair. The thermal running outfit more than made up for her extra headgear since the tight-fitting design showed off her body.
“The park is so beautiful. Ohio has some lovely parks in which to run too, but Acadia is different. Even the snow is different.” Caroline sniffed the crisp air and then leaned down, grabbed a handful of snow, and tossed the granules in Grant’s direction.
The blast of cold snow crossing his face caused him to yelp, and his gloved fingers took up a handful of the powder that he quickly launched in her direction. “So you’re itching for a snow fight, are you, Miss Stuart? Be careful what you wish for. I’ve lived in Maine my entire life, and I’m an expert.”
“And Clevelanders aren’t familiar with snow?” With quick, deft movements, she formed a tight snowball and lobbed her weapon at his chest. “I beg to differ.”
In response, he took hold of her arms and backed her against her car. “We’ve done enough fighting. I’d rather not, even with snowballs, if you don’t mind.” He lowered his head and nuzzled her cold lips. Her mouth opened, and their tongues dueled with each other for a few minutes. His body warmed again despite the cold, and he fought the urge to ramp up their involvement. Baby steps, he reminded himself. Kisses were fine for right now.
In fact, her kisses were divine. He could stay here all day. Except they’d started their run in the afternoon, and daylight was on the verge of leaving them. She shivered in his grasp. He hoped her reaction had been from the kiss and not the cold. Regardless of the reason, they should relocate this make-out session into a warm apartment.
He finally broke from the kiss, opened the car door, and let her hop inside. Then he jogged around to the passenger side as she revved the engine.
The car’s interior grew warm in a few minutes as she drove them back to town.
Grant couldn’t resist touchin
g her again and placed his hand on her knee.
She jumped slightly and glanced over but then relaxed under his touch.
He left his hand there until she parked the car. He’d been so busy studying her that he had no idea where she steered until she stopped. When he glanced around at the vacant school parking lot, he sighed. No invitation to her cozy apartment would be forthcoming tonight.
“I had fun. I’m glad you had the idea.” She kept the motor running and glanced over.
He leaned into her space and stole a quick kiss. “You made the afternoon fun. I enjoy having a running partner.”
“Then we’ll definitely have to jog together again soon.” She returned the kiss. “I’ll stay here until you get your car started to make certain you’re not stranded in an empty lot.”
Grant didn’t need any more writing on the wall. He had been dismissed. Not at all the way he’d planned for the evening to end. He opened his door, and a blast of cold air invaded the warm car. “See you around, Sweet Caroline. Count on more jogging in your future.”
He jumped into his car and revved the engine, blinking the lights to signal his car had started and she could now leave. With his gaze, he followed her taillights as she sped out of the lot and then pounded his hand on the steering wheel. A man could only take so much. Even though he’d made a promise to them both to go slow, his body hadn’t quite gotten the message. He had been amped up all afternoon.
Yet, Caroline had been unaffected by their closeness.
Given him a brotherly kiss to end the evening. She’d probably go home, take a shower, and crawl into bed, falling asleep immediately—while he would be awake most of the night.
****
Caroline exited the parking lot before she could change her mind. She drove off into the night and blew out a calming breath. The afternoon had been so pleasant. The entire day reminded her of another time with another man. She and Michael loved to jog together, after which they’d share a shower before they’d tumble into bed and keep each other awake for hours. Tears had threatened, especially when Grant took that last sweet kiss. She hoped he hadn’t noticed her eyes filling with moisture. She hoped he’d follow her home, thereby taking the decision to pick up the pace of their relationship out of her hands. She hoped he’d make crazy, insane love to her.
However, every time she envisioned taking the next step with Grant, her thoughts screeched to a stop. Images of her could-have-been life with Michael surfaced, and she hesitated to go forward. After all, she and Michael had planned their future, even down to the number of children and their names. The children she’d never have. She could still see them so clearly. Little Noah, with Michael’s dark hair and mischievous blue eyes. And Molly, with her riotous curly blonde hair. When Michael died, she’d buried three people, not just one, and she buried a way of life that would never come to fruition.
This relocation to Lobster Cove had been a blessing and a balm for her weary, injured soul. She needed time to mend, but Grant kept coming at her like a battering ram, tearing away at her defenses. Maybe she could be happy again. Have a complete life again with a family and a white picket fence. And a dog. A lifetime of happiness might be possible with Grant by her side.
In order to have Grant, she’d need to let go of Michael, Noah, and Molly. As tempting as an alternate future with Grant might be, she couldn’t bear parting with her past. Her time with Michael had been the most profound experience in her life and his loss had left a huge hole in her heart. After jockeying her car into her space behind the card shop, she sat behind the wheel for a few minutes. What did she really want—a past or a future? Her jumbled thoughts hopscotched through her brain. It would be best if Grant left her alone. Alone with her memories.
“I wish to be left alone, Grant,” she whispered to the cold air. She had become comfortable with a solitary life. She raised a fist to the roof of the car and shouted, “I need to be left alone, Grant!” Hot tears moistened her cheeks. She raked her mittened hands over her face, soaking up the tears. “Don’t be nice to me. Don’t make my knees weak with your kisses. You’re wearing down my resolve every time you touch me. Don’t cause me so much torment!”
If he continued his pursuit, he could make her bend to his wishes, and he showed every indication he did indeed plan to pursue her. He could have followed her home tonight, kissed her until she lost her senses and her better judgment. Until he made her mad with longing. She would lead him into her home, and they’d take that crucial next step.
Yet, he’d backed off tonight, leaving the decision to her to invite him into her life in more than a cursory role. She sensed his struggle with his emotions, and while she respected him for not coming on too strong, she wished he’d do the deciding. Then, if their relationship ended up being a mistake, she could tell herself the reason for the disaster was because he’d rushed things, not her. If leaving the decision about their relationship to him made her a coward, she could live with the consequences. However, she didn’t see herself being the one to take the next step in their relationship for a long time.
Maybe never.
Chapter Fourteen
March whimpered to a close in Lobster Cove, exiting like a well-behaved lamb. Grant took Caroline to what had become a town tradition—witnessing the huge icicles which had decorated the pier all winter finally lose their icy grip and crash into the cold water. The gathered crowd cheered as each icicle fell into the frigid Atlantic. All around town, the huge piles of snow slowly melted and blades of grass emerged for the first time since October.
He’d hoped by now to be starting over in his relationship with Caroline. Yet, she appeared content to be nothing more than friends, which is where they’d been years ago before he’d botched things. True, they’d shared some tempting kisses, but his feelings had been corralled. Since those kisses were confined to the parking lot behind her apartment instead of behind a closed door, he couldn’t take the next logical step in their relationship. He needed more.
His musings were interrupted as he noticed Caroline shiver beside him. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and led her away from the pier. “Shall we go warm ourselves with a cup of hot chocolate at the Sea Crest?” He nodded in the direction of the large hotel sitting on top of a cliff overlooking the Cove.
“That’s just what I need.” She blew on her hands, even though they were encased in gloves.
“You’ll get your blood flowing again when we begin to hike.” He bumped his body against hers. “Come on, let’s hustle.”
She placed her arm around his waist, and he kept his around her shoulders as they strode along. To all who witnessed them they appeared to be the perfect couple, strolling arm in arm around the harbor. Yet, Grant was painfully aware of the large divide between them even when they got this close physically to one another. He’d been hammering away at the breach, trying to narrow the gap for weeks. Just when he thought he’d made some headway, she’d retreat and hide out for a few days. Today, though, he’d bust through.
Regardless of the consequences.
Once they got settled in front of a toasty fire with mugs of the Sea Crest’s famous hot chocolate and a signature Danish pastry each, Grant noticed a shift in Caroline’s demeanor as she visibly relaxed, sinking into her chair.
She crossed her long legs and stretched them toward the fire, warming her toes.
Time to launch his first volley. “Have Abbey and Penny been working you hard? Our schedules haven’t overlapped in more than a week.” He needed her to see how much he enjoyed their shared time. How even though he had been acutely aware she’d been intentionally avoiding him, he could still behave as a gentleman and provide her with an out, a logical explanation for her neglect.
She had been staring at the fire but now flicked her gaze over him. “Abbey’s having a rough time with her pregnancy. Morning sickness nearly every day, and she’s so tired. I’ve been filling in for her a lot in the mornings. Then, my work at the school in the afternoons is challenging. By d
ay’s end, I’m usually ready for nothing more than a glass of wine and a good book.”
He fisted his hands. “So, where do I fit in, Caroline? Am I somewhere between your work and your book? Or am I an afterthought, something to occupy your time when you’ve got nothing else to do?” He bit back the anger as best as he could, but his voice could chisel ice.
Her eyes widened, and she stared at him for a long minute before shifting her gaze back to the fire. “We’re friends now. We straightened all that out.”
Disappointment surged through him, and he took hold of her hand. “You have to be aware I’m hoping for more than a friendship.”
She removed her hand from his grasp. “Yes, I’m aware.” Her voice cracked. “I just can’t give you any more than that. Not now.”
He slammed his hand on the arm of the chair. “What more can I do? I’ve tried not to crowd you, to take things slow. At this pace we’ll be so old by the time you do invite me to your apartment, I’ll have trouble climbing the stairs.” He forced himself to grin, hoping she’d recognize he had thrown some levity into the conversation. His stomach tied itself into knots. He held back his grimace, which hovered near the surface.
She’d jumped when his hand came down forcefully, and her gaze slid in his direction before scurrying back to the fire.
He waited.
His fingers beat out a staccato rhythm on the arm of the chair as she took a sip of her drink, then a bite of the pastry and another sip of hot chocolate. She dabbed her lips with her napkin and ran a hand over her stomach.
He waited.
“I should go.” She corralled her coat and purse.
Heart racing, he placed a hand on her arm. “Will we never resolve our issues, Caro?”
Finally, she glanced his way.
He noticed the tears in her eyes.
She lifted her chin and blinked back the tears, not letting them fall.
They were still apparent. His heart sank.
