He had a sudden flash of memory from the party for Mica and Mason, how DeeDee had circled out and back all night long. She talked to so many people, encouraging them and loving on them in turn, gently chastising the ones who were stepping out of line, and lavishly praising the ones who weren’t. “You loved the club instead, didn’t you? You loved Melanie…Ruby, of course, because she and Lockee were joined at the hip, but you also love every member of the club like they are your own.”
He marveled at the depths of love this woman had in her body and soul for so many people. “That’s why you’ve stayed part of the club, because they truly are your family. You love to hear about their successes and you grieve for their losses, because they are yours. I get it, baby. You have so much love to give. We have Ruby’s babies, Bear’s kiddos, and now Bingo’s tribe, and you can love on them. Oh, baby, I think they are going to be our tribe. I have an idea,” he whispered the last against her neck, holding her and letting her cry against his chest. “Shhhhh. I love you, baby. I have an idea,” he repeated, rubbing his jaw up along her cheek to drop soft kisses on her temple.
***
“Tell the truth,” he said, a frown on his face as he looked down at DeeDee. He held her loosely in his arms as he leaned against the counter in the kitchen. It was the next morning, and the kids were already off to school. His parents hadn’t yet shown up at the apartment, and he and DeeDee were slow to start the day. They talked for hours last night, turning and twisting his idea every way they could think of, finally coming to an agreement. Heady with their joint plan, he made love to her, worshiping every inch of her as he loved to do, drawing responses from her, even in her exhausted state. They fell asleep twisted around each other, sheets damp with sweat and the air in the room heavy with the scent of sex.
“Okay,” she said easily, smiling up at him. “What’s the question?”
“Do you prefer to ride your own bike, or behind me?”
She blinked and shook her head. “Sometimes on my own, but sometimes with you. Why are you asking?”
“I don’t think I need two bikes,” he said and watched as the mask he so hated settled into place on her face. “Dammit, don’t do that,” he scolded, leaning in to kiss her lips hard, slanting his mouth across hers again and again until they were both breathless.
“Don’t do what?” she asked, biting her bottom lip softly.
“Don’t give me your club face.” He realized he said this in a grouchy tone and wrinkled his nose at himself. “Sometimes you work so hard to not show reactions it makes me crazy. I say, ‘I don’t think I need two bikes’, and you freeze up. Why?”
Her gaze dropped to his chest and she licked her lips nervously. “If you get rid of one…which one? What one are you going to keep?”
“Do you have a preference, baby?” he asked, dragging his nose along her neck, nibbling his way down to her collarbone, kissing and licking along her skin.
“Mmmmm. Keep the Bobber,” she said breathlessly, arching her neck.
“Okay, baby. Why the Bobber?” He bent his head, nipping at the top curve of her breast with his teeth.
“Just get rid of the other bike,” she said, fingers threading through his hair.
“Keep the Bobber I bought from Road Runner?” he asked again, making sure, slipping one hand down to cup her ass, pulling her tightly against him.
“Yeah, Road Runner is a good guy. That bike has a lot of good memories.” She pulled his head closer, urging him wordlessly to continue fondling her breasts.
“Get rid of Winger’s bike?” He tugged at her nipple through her clothing, squeezing her ass tightly.
“Yeah, sell that motherfucker,” she whispered, her head falling back, and he lifted her, setting her ass on the countertop.
“Okay,” he said, fingers working to unbutton the waistband of her jeans and his other hand pushing her shirt over her head. He leaned forward to suckle her breast through the fabric of her bra, biting her nipple sharply then drawing it into the heat of his mouth again. He tugged her towards the edge of the counter, telling her, “Wrap your legs around me, baby.” Picking her up, he cupped her ass in his hands and carried her to their bedroom. Having gotten the answer he was looking for, he went in search of a response of a different sort, eventually finding that one, too.
Memories
"Dammit, Bingo, of course I knew. I also knew you didn't want anyone fucking around in your goddamn business, so I stayed out of it. I made sure we took care of the club, freeing you to take care of your family. Doesn't change the fact I'm pissed as hell that you didn't trust me with the information without me pulling it out of you like teeth. We're family too, brother." Mason stretched out his hand, gripping Bingo's shoulder.
Bingo reached up, wrapping his fingers around Mason’s wrist. “I know, Prez. It just felt like I failed you. You trusted me with a chapter, and I fucked it up, let the trash in that nearly destroyed our brothers. Put you in a dangerous place with other clubs. Every way I could twist that bitch, I torqued it right over. But I had to take care of the kids.”
Mason nodded. “I know, brother. There’s no anger from me to you, and no disappointment, either. I know you hold the club close, and always have.” He leaned in, cupping the side of Bingo’s head, and pulled the man over so he could roughly kiss the top of his head. “Love you, man.”
Bingo laughed, cuffing Mason’s shoulder and pulling away. “No mushy shit, motherfucker. Save that for the ladies.”
Jase was glad to see there was no anger on the old man’s face. He had come to like Bingo, and if he was pissed because he talked to Mason, even if he had given permission in a roundabout way, there would be some guilt. But it looked like everything was going to be okay between them.
Bingo looked over at Jase and grinned, teeth shining in the middle of his thick, gray beard. “Cap’n, thank you, man. Appreciate what you’re doing for my kids.”
Jase made a face and nodded. “Want to talk to you about that.” He saw Bingo’s eyes narrow and a grin light Mason’s face, the dichotomy of the expressions making him laugh aloud. Mason knew what was coming, but he had to sell Bingo on the idea.
“My parents are visiting from up north. They’ve decided they want to set up a home base here, since both Shar and I are sticking in the Fort. Myron found DeeDee and me a house that’s both hella nice and a lot larger, so the club is moving us tomorrow and my folks are taking over the condo.” He sighed, because that was the easy part.
“DeeDee and I want you and the kids to move in with us, brother. I know your prognosis, Bingo. You didn’t send me out of the room when the doc came in this morning, so you know I know. You have more surgeries on the horizon, and this isn’t going to be an easy road to ride. Let me help you. You’re not only my friend, you are my brother, and I need to do this. Let me be there for the kids. For you.
He took a breath, because Bingo’s expression was shuttered, unreadable. “Give this to DeeDee, man. She loves you like family, and you know the truth of that. She’s already kicking herself that she didn’t see what was going on with Tyler, that she wasn’t there for you when that all went down. She loves you so much—let her love on you, brother.”
Bingo held his gaze for a long moment, and then slowly nodded. A grin quirked up one corner of his mouth, lips curling in amusement. “Woman gets her baseball team this way, too, right?”
“Fuck yeah,” Jase chortled. “She’s already talking about how much fun it will be to have what amounts to a second clubhouse for family activities.” The smile fell away. “She said it will remind her of how it was in the early days with Winger, when the club was over all the time. She liked that, feeling central to everything. I think she’s missed it since she moved out of the clubhouse.”
Mason lifted his chin. “The house got a big backyard? That’s a requirement, so if Myron fucked that up, I’ll have words with the man.”
“Biggest backyard I’ve ever seen.” Jase laughed. “I already have my eye on a grill, man. Kids get
to mow, though. Fuck that shit.”
They all laughed and Bingo reached out his hand. Gripping his forearm, Jase shook it once then leaned in as Bingo tugged on his arm. Wrapping his other around Jase’s neck, he pulled him close, whispering in his ear, “Thank you, brother.”
Jase hugged him back, saying, “You got it, man.”
***
When she calmed, her sobs trailing off to softly hiccupped sounds that gradually diminished, he pulled back, looking down into her face. They were getting ready to go to a benefit for Bingo being held at Checkerz, when Jase had asked her again why she and Winger hadn’t adopted. The question had been so unexpected it triggered an uncontrollable emotional response that he tried to comfort and soothe away. She attempted to cover her face with her hand, but he captured her wrist in one hand and pulled it away. “Baby, did he know how much it meant to you?” She shook her head, not answering aloud.
“What’s getting you so wound up?” he asked, and she shook her head again, not yet trusting her voice. “DeeDee,” he said, “if you don’t want to donate the bike, we won’t.”
Rolling her eyes, she pulled free and used the back of her hand to wipe her nose in an unladylike fashion. “It’s not the bike.” Her voice squeaked a little to begin with, but evened out as she continued. “Any sentiment I had for that bike was tied up in being Winger’s old lady. I told Slate a long time ago that I was ready to move on, and I am. I have been, with you.”
“If someone from Fort Wayne buys it, you’ll be okay seeing someone else riding the bike? That’s the reason I bought it at the last auction, you know. I couldn’t stand to see someone else riding what I thought of at the time as your bike.” He smoothed her hair away from her face with his palms, gently rubbing their noses together. “I didn’t want to see anyone straddling the seat that I’d seen your ass resting on for so many miles.”
She murmured, “Jealous of a bike, Cap’n?”
“No, but buying the bike made me feel a little closer to you. You sure you’re willing to give up this big a piece of Winger?” He tilted his head, looking at her, and she felt exposed, on display, afraid he would see the disillusionment on her face.
“I’m ready to move on,” she repeated her words, hoping he would drop the topic. “Jase, are we nearly—”
“You’re angry with Winger.” He uttered the words like a statement, and she froze, unwilling to either deny or acknowledge the truth of what he said. He continued in a relaxed, conversational tone, “Furious with him. Baby, why would you be mad at him? You loved him.”
“Past tense. Loved being the operative word.” Her mouth was open with the sounds falling out of it before she realized what she had done. Shaking her head, she tried to step backwards, but Jase locked his arms around her, holding her into place. In for a penny, in for a pound, she thought. Might as well get this all out into the open. “I’ve come to realize that maybe things could have been different if he had been willing to bend a little. To give me just a little. He was older than me, and I was so young when we got together. It was natural for him to take on the role he did, and the club reinforced that position every day. I think I loved him because I didn’t know anything else.”
Jase made a brief raspberry noise, shaking his head. “You loved him because he loved you.”
“I’ve begun to wonder about that, too.” She laughed harshly, tipping her head to the side and leaning her forehead against his chest. “Did he really love me? If he had, wouldn’t he have cared if he made me happy?”
He tensed his arms around her, pulling her tightly into his chest. She turned her head, pressing her ear against him, listening to the steady, calming beats of his heart. He sighed softly then asked her, “Didn’t he make you happy?”
“In the moment, he did. But looking back…” She stopped when he tensed.
“Baby,” he said softly, “in the moment is all we have. It’s all we’ll ever have. We go moment to moment, in love, out of love, together, apart…it’s all in the moment. Even a love like what I have for you—so strong I know it exists beyond us standing here—is still me loving you moment to moment. He loved you, and you know it. Best as he could, he loved you. He didn’t want to leave you, never meant to be gone so soon. Don’t be angry with him. Don’t second-guess his love for you. And baby, never, ever second-guess mine.”
They stood like that for a long time as she rested there in his arms, considering everything he said. It made sense, and actually…what did her anger gain her? It wasn’t as if she could run out and ask Winger why he had done this thing or that thing. What they had…was real. She had loved him. And she loved Jase, now. She remained silent, soaking up what he said, her tears renewing, because all the anger she had been cultivating against Winger was gone. Jase had swept it away.
After a few minutes, he stirred against her and said, “I can’t take his place, baby. I wouldn’t even know how to try. He made such an impression on so many people; I can see why you’d love him. How you grew to love him. And I have no doubts he loved you, too.” He paused, leaning his forehead against hers. “Keep that feeling, baby. He loved you.”
Coach
Lee shook his head. “I think I’m a better fit for the more advanced kids.”
Jase snorted a laugh. They were at the foundation office, trying to determine who would be responsible for teaching the different classes. It was apparent Lee had taken a liking to Tyler, so he was determined to be the one to teach the kid. It didn’t surprise Jase, and he didn’t entirely disagree with Lee, but if things went down the way he was afraid they were going to with Bingo, he needed every bit of advantage he could get with the boy.
“What if we switch out, Tuesdays and Thursdays? You teach one, I get the other. That means we swap the little bits too, but they’re the most fun.” Jase tried to find a flaw. “Would it be confusing to the kids who are attempting to learn specific skills to have them taught by a different instructor half the time?”
“Nope, it will make them a more flexible and intuitive player,” Lee said decisively. “It won’t hurt the little bits, either. Begin as we intend to continue, yeah?”
“Yeah,” he agreed. Pausing for a minute, he shuffled through the applications in the pile on his desk. “Hey, look at this kid,” he said, holding one of the papers out to Lee. “He’s pretty impressive. The Norwell coach called me, because he saw the kid playing inline hockey and he was killing it. I don’t know if he’s ever had skates on, but it sounds like he’s got the natural skills. His family background fits our profile, too. Eight years old, he’s in foster care, because his mom OD’ed, his dad was never named, and his only sibling was killed in a car wreck three years ago.
“I called Eddie,” he said, then saw Lee look a question at him, and he explained. “She’s the wife of one of the Rebels. You know Bear, right?” At Lee’s nod, he continued, “She works with special needs kids, and I asked her to use her contacts in the system to find out what she could about the kid. He’s been bounced around from foster to foster, and been flagged as ‘troubled’, whatever that means to an eight-year-old kid. Hell, he’s had the whole world set against him since he was born. I think I would be ‘troubled’ too if I were him.” He was pissed off on behalf of the boy all over again.
Lee looked at him with a confused look on his face. “Okay, so we give him a scholarship and get him into classes. If he’s aggressive, it will give him an acceptable avenue to burn off that shit. If it’s trouble of a different sort, we’ll have to see what else we can do.”
Jase laughed again. “No, not what I meant. I think DeeDee and I could foster this kid, see what kind of difference we could make. He wouldn’t need a scholarship that way, so we can save it for a kid who’ll need the financial help.”
Visibly taken aback, Lee looked at Jase. “Foster parents? Are you kidding?”
He shook his head, smiling confidently. “Nope, not kidding. I’ve done my homework. There is an enormous need for foster homes, especially for kids who need extra at
tention. We’ve already passed the background checks and home visits when we were getting the paperwork done for Bingo’s kids. Now that we have the larger place, it’s all good…well, because it’s all good. I’ll leave it at that.” He grinned at the bemused look on his friend’s face.
His cell rang and he looked down, seeing Mason’s name on the screen. Standing, he walked out of the office and into the conference room, closing the door for privacy. “Prez,” he said in greeting, “did you…were you able to find out anything?”
“Yeah, Myron was able to track down the info. They put the DNA shit out there in some fucking database, so he was able to nab it and had a lab match things up. You were right about who his dad was. You sure you want to do this, man? This is a twisted cluster beyond anything I’ve ever seen. Now that we know…hell, Jase, it’s more my shit to clear than yours, so you just gotta say the word and I’ve got it covered.” Mason’s concern for his family and friends was evident in his tone.
“No. I got this, Prez. I think it’s the right thing to do. So, unless you can convince me otherwise, I’m moving forward.” Jase let his certainty ring in his voice, ensuring Mason understood his commitment to this decision.
“Will you tell DeeDee?” Mason’s inquiry indicated agreement with his plan, even though the question was followed by a heavy sigh.
“Yeah. I’ll talk to her tonight before anything else goes forward. This knowledge is just for you, me, and Myron right now, right?” Jase wanted to control this, because he didn’t want DeeDee hurt in the disclosure.
“Yeah, we’ve kept this close to the vest so far. There are people other than DeeDee who’ll need to know, though.” There was a noise in the background, and Mason said something indistinct then came back to the phone. “Fucking goddamn Skeptics, I’m going to kill someone today. I swear to fucking God. Gotta go; let me know how she takes it.”
Jase Page 33
