by Ash Harlow
Chapter Thirty-Six
Making love to Lulah the night before had been so different from other times. Gone was the desperation to erase the bad thing that gnawed at him, that could be vanquished for a few hours by sharing something so beautiful with her.
At breakfast, though, Lulah’s odd mood returned. Her bright comments were forced, and something still bothered her. The way she shrugged off his questions, in place of her usual open honesty, told him his suspicions were correct. Today he would do something to fix that for her.
Lulah was leaving for work as he cleared up from breakfast. “Can you bring Calliope over to the Sanctuary this afternoon? A couple of the interns are interested in service dog training, and I’d like to give them a demo with Calliope. Show them what they’re up for.”
That didn’t fit in at all well with his plans.
She’d read the look on his face, because in an instant, she continued with a shrug. “It doesn’t matter. It was an idea. You’re obviously busy; we can do it another day.”
He hated seeing her like this. “I’m not too busy. I’ll fit it in.”
“Thanks. Why don’t I come here for lunch and we can go up to the Sanctuary together?”
“That sounds good.” Sounded like a nightmare in logistics to be honest. He had another appointment with the lawyer this morning, who, for someone charging in minute increments, seemed lousy at timekeeping. Then there was that other major meeting, but what the hell? Lulah smiled at him, and her smile made the impossible doable.
He went over to the barn, leaving the door open despite the vicious wind chill. The place needed airing from being locked up, and he wanted a fresh atmosphere to start work on the new commission. The dog was a honey…a Papillion whose butterfly ears were going to be a challenge for his chisel. He’d chosen the dog as his first commission from the list of people waiting, because the wheelchair-bound owner had relied on Pierre, her small dog, for the past fourteen years to complete the tasks for which she was incapable.
When the lawyer’s secretary called to say they needed to push the meeting back an hour, he knew he’d never make the Dog Sanctuary visit that afternoon.
Don’t freakin’ believe this. Is he for real?
Lulah held the note in her hand that carried two words guaranteed to send a chill to the pit of her stomach.
Break.
Sorry.
He’d even managed to find the stone he’d used to weight the last note he’d placed at her door, despite her having, at that time, hurled it across the yard.
Lulah searched back trying to identify the god or goddess she’d managed to piss off, because this game of life was rapidly turning shitty. She took an apple from the fridge, recalled Joker, and headed back for the Sanctuary. It was no surprise to discover the apple’s texture floury and a large bruise.
An hour into work at the Sanctuary and Adam hauled her away on some pretense designed to give him the opportunity to dig into her head.
“Tell me what’s going on.”
“Have you bought donuts?”
“No.” His eyes widened as if he couldn’t believe she was asking for food. “And I’m not even going to bribe you with a promise of them.”
“That’s the second time this week you’ve failed on the donuts.”
“You haven’t earned any. Now, tell me why you are being so hard on the interns?”
“Not one of them brought their brains to work today. You go soft on them; they take advantage of you.”
“You’re going to scare them away at the rate you’re chewing them out.”
Lulah huffed and draped herself over an armchair. “This lot are unbelievable.”
“This lot, Lulah, are no different than any other lot. Some are brilliant, some good, and some below average. All are here to learn and don’t have your expertise or knowledge. Now, there’s a bug in your ass, and if you don’t want to tell me about it, I’ll call for Marlo.”
“I don’t know who’s worse.”
“Believe me, that would be Marlo.”
What could she tell him? That the cabin had sold? No, she should tell Vince first, except he’d gone AWOL again. Well, hadn’t the retreat proved a roaring success! A couple of days out and he’s back to his old behavior. She was done with all of it. No promotion, no house, no reliable man in her life...
“Lulah, speak.”
“Hello, Adam. How are things with you?” She lifted her chin and gave him a bright, fake smile.
Adam returned with a stare that would make the most heinous felon quake. She raised her hands. “Okay, things are a bit messy, and I’ve brought the mess to work when really I should be all mature and leave it at home. I apologize, and it won’t happen again.” She stood.
He shook his head. “Borrowing from Marlo here. Sit!”
Lulah flopped back into the chair. Defiance rose in her because, hell… “I’m tired, alright? My well-planned life has gone off the rails, and I’m starting to see that I have no backup plan.”
“Is this about missing the promotion?”
Jesus, men! “You know, if it were that, I could deal with it. But there’s other stuff, and just because you’re my boss doesn’t mean I have to tell you the personal bits. I admit it shouldn’t have come to work, but bringing it with me doesn’t mean I have to share it with you.”
He pressed his lips together, the look on his face softened. “To be honest, I’d hoped we were talking as friends. You don’t bottle stuff up, Lulah. You let it all out and move on. The interns will survive. It’s you I care about, and from here, I see you’re hurting.”
She wouldn’t tell him that Vince had called a break. That their relationship had come unglued again, and although her heart hurt, she wasn’t sure if she wanted a chance to repair it—if that were even possible. She couldn’t tell him about the cabin, because Vince didn’t know yet, and, dammit, messy here. “Give me twenty-four hours, please? If it’s not fixed by then, I’ll share. Right now I’m too fragile, so you need to back off.”
“Good. I’m okay with that. But if you’re the same tomorrow, we talk it out.” His firm mouth eased now. “As friends, Lulah, over a drink.” He stood with her and opened his arms. “Come here.”
Lulah allowed herself to fall into his embrace, because, damn, the guy gave good hugs. After a short bit, she tried to push off him, but he tightened his grip.
“You know we love you, Lulah.”
“I know. And I love you guys, too.”
He released her. “You hurt, we hurt. Got it?”
That was the problem. Being known as the infinitely jolly person meant you didn’t have a chance to be low. “Sometimes, I don’t feel great. Other times, I’m the whizz. I’ll be fine.”
“Nice try, Lulah. Fooling exactly no one.”
She stopped at the office door. “I don’t know how Marlo puts up with you. A better friend would have stopped her becoming involved.” She gave him a quick thump on his very hard bicep and set off back for HQ.
Through the afternoon she made an extra effort and managed to pull the old Lulah into play, but when she headed for home, the head-fog reappeared. She fought it off knowing that the news of the property sale, which she should probably share with Vince tonight, wouldn’t be as devastating for him as for her. And that was if Vince even turned up. He could be up in the mountains for all she knew. Break? Sheesh, give me a break.
He was there. Her heart skittered with pleasure, the pressure of it forcing back the fog. She paused with her hand on the SUV’s ignition key, knowing she should be annoyed with him, but so relieved that his break was so short. He met her on the porch and pulled her inside. The cabin was cozy from a fire he’d lit, probably some time ago if the depth of warmth was anything to go by. From the kitchen came the smell of meat roasting, and two other pots waiting on the stove.
Well, that took care of being annoyed with him. She couldn’t spoil the evening with her news. She’d tell him tomorrow. No rush, because she had yet to receive an eviction
notice.
He pulled her into him. “Hello, beautiful imp.” His lips touched her cheek briefly before he pulled away and sniffed. “What is that? A new scent?”
She was puzzled. Mostly she smelled of dogs.
“Raw meaty bones with hint of offal. Interesting.”
Lulah laughed. “One of the new dogs is dealing with resource guarding issues, so I’m hand-feeding him until he becomes comfortable with the idea that people around food and toys mean good things happen. Nice work picking the bones. Can you tell me, for a bonus point, exactly what offal I fed?”
“No, but I’m liking the hand-feeding idea. We could give that a try sometime. What I can tell you is that you should go and take a shower. I’ve made a special dinner, and I’d like you to wear the dress you wore to the auction. I don’t want to be the only guy around who hasn’t seen you in it.”
She wanted to resist but noticed the table, set with a white linen cloth, candles, and flowers. “Wow, Vince, this is beautiful. Is this the reason for your break? To do this?”
“Part of it. Now shower and into that dress before I’m forced to help you.”
“Do that and we’ll never eat,” she called as she headed for the bathroom.
After she’d showered, she discovered he’d put another vase of flowers in her bedroom. This one was filled with tulips of every color imaginable, bringing spring and warmth to the dullness of late fall. They must have cost a fortune.
She found her dress, still sheathed in the cleaner’s protective bag. To be honest, she’d never believed Vince would see her wear it. She slipped it on, messed about with her hair, and found the lipstick she’d worn the night of the auction.
Even though she felt a bit silly, she slid into the difficult heels that had almost been her downfall when she’d approached the stage to give her speech. Once done, she rechecked the mirror, wondering if Vince would be as surprised as her any time she caught a glimpse of herself all dressed-up.
She’d grown up a tomboy, preferring jeans and t-shirts, but even she was impressed by the way she turned out in a dress.
Modeling time. She drew a deep breath and opened her bedroom door. Walking to him, she heard the unfamiliar tattoo of her heels on the floorboards, and when Vince turned, they both paused.
He stood dressed in a dark suit and, hell, it took her breath away. It was true. A well-cut suit was, to a woman, like lingerie to a man. And that suit was beautifully cut.
She gave him a twirl, finishing with a smile at him, but he stood there speechless. The dress? Was it too much? Now self-conscious, she smoothed her hands down its front. The halter neckline crossed high up near her neck, fastening around the back to leave her shoulders bare. The back plunged to below her waist, fitting snugly over her butt before falling softly to stop above her knee.
“You don’t like it,” she said quietly.
He shook his head. “I love it. You’re stunning. And the shoes…wow. They make your ankles even more perfect, and, just wow. The only thing I don’t like is that a ballroom filled with men saw you in it before I did.”
“Well, I have to say, I’m glad the other half of the inhabitants of the ballroom that night didn’t get to see what I’m seeing right now, because you are devastating in a suit.”
He walked to her, took her hand, and lifted it to his lips, kissing it softly before capturing one knuckle between his teeth. He held it, giving her a wicked grin. She winked at him, and he released her, laughing. He led her to the table where dinner was set out, candles lit, sat her down, and placed a napkin across her lap.
“All joking aside, Lulah, you’re a vision. And it’s more than the dress; it’s what’s inside you, too.”
Her face flushed, and tears? Now? She glanced around the cabin. It might be small, but it was her home, completed by having Vince there, too. The candlelight threw long shadows, and she took in a big breath, acknowledging how stupid she was to stubbornly refuse to apply for a bank loan to buy the place. That soon she would lose the opportunity to sit in this room, to remember this night, was dispiriting. But she brushed away those thoughts, because Vince had created this beautiful magic, and nothing would ruin this night.
He removed his jacket. “Sorry, babe, I’m too hot in this,” he said. Lulah didn’t mind, enjoying the view of the fit of the slacks around his ass, the way the buttoned shirt almost strained to contain the breadth of his shoulders as he walked to the kitchen. He returned with an ice bucket and champagne.
Lulah eyed him. “So do you want to tell me what this is all about?”
He dislodged the foil from the top of the bottle, loosening the wire cage, the muselet, all the time keeping his eye on her and barely keeping the grin from his face. “Tonight is about a lot of things.” He removed the cork with a contained pop. “A celebration, if you like. Foremost, it’s an expression of my gratitude to you for all that you’ve done for me.”
She watched him fill two flutes. Flutes! He’s even bought new glasses.
“It’s my homecoming celebration. A ceremony to mark my return and to remember those who never made it home. And to honor those who, because of their soul wounds, are still fighting their way back.”
Lulah took the glass he offered her. “I’ll drink to that,” she said, lifting it to touch his own raised glass, and as she did, she noticed the small tremble to her hand. No man had ever done anything like this for her, and she felt as if she wanted to take those three words she’d whispered into the compass on his back and share them with him again. This time bravely, at full volume. Except she wasn’t that brave, and her future was in tatters.
“Now let’s eat, because to be honest, Lulah, if I don’t have something soon to take my mind off you in that dress, we won’t be having dinner tonight.”
He’d cooked French lamb cutlets with roasted rosemary potatoes and a simple side-dish of steamed peas and beans. “We used to sit around and talk about the meal we most missed from home, and once we’d passed the idea of the instant gratification of a really cheesy pizza, we came up with all kinds of menus. In the end, what we’re having tonight was the one we all agreed on. Naturally, we added the company of a gorgeous female to top off the perfect meal.”
The food was delicious, but when Vince tried to serve her more, she turned him down. “You know me, Vince. I could eat more, but I’m going to do damage to this dress if I take another mouthful.”
“We can take a break before dessert.” He started to clear the dishes, and Lulah helped, following him to the kitchen with the last plates from the meal. Her shoes were becoming troublesome after two glasses of champagne.
She placed the dishes on the counter before bending down to ease off the shoes, but Vince stopped her with a hand on her shoulder.
“Let me do that for you.” Crouched on one knee, he lifted her right foot and released the small clasp to slip off her shoe. When she went to place her foot on the floor, he kept hold of her, sending her that wicked, want-you-now grin. He held up one shoe. “These are so hot, imp, I think you should wear them every night.” After removing the other shoe, he lightly trailed his fingers up her calf, behind her knee, stopping mid-thigh. She shivered as his fingers lit up her nerves, sending a tingle racing up her thighs.
“Lulah?”
She looked down at him. His suit pants would be ruined with dog hair if he stayed on the floor too long.
“While I’m down here, there’s something I’d like to do.”
She laughed. “Typical man.” She brushed her hand over the top of his head.
“Actually, I’m serious, and I want to do this right. Now seems a good time, because I can’t wait any longer.”
His face was somber. “I think my filthy mind has the wrong idea about what you want to do.” What on earth was he thinking?
The saucy smile returned. “Oh, there’s that, too, but I want to say something first.”
“You always want to say something first.”
He reached up and put a finger to her lips. “Shh.”
He reached for her hand, and he studied it, a focus that suggested he was still putting together exactly what he wanted to say. Was this it? Over? Was he finally ready to move on?
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Vince thought the depth of his feelings would make this easy. He’d gone over it countless times since he’d left the retreat, but now the words deserted him, and with the way his throat closed over, his ability to speak probably disappeared with the words. He had to say something, because he was stuck here, on the floor, with Lulah looking more bewildered by the second.
His speech wasn’t hampered by any sort of reluctance or fear of what Lulah’s response might be. It was hampered by the emotion that overwhelmed him, by the changes occurring during the past few weeks to remove the fear from his soul so that courage and love could flow free.
“Lulah, I’ve told you before that I love you. Usually during fraught moments with my emotions running crazy, my fear battling love, and you there as my anchor. You’ve always been there for me to hold onto when I needed something to grasp, to keep me from drowning. I never wanted you to feel obligated, but as I’ve healed so much over the past month, I’ve come to understand that you make me whole. Not in a dependent sort of way, but in that manner where you’ve shown me how to stand on my own and grow as a person.
“You might not realize this, Lulah, but the more I loved you, the more love I received from you. By loving me, you made me seek the help I needed, so that today I feel like a whole and worthy person. I want to be that person for you, too. Not in a selfish way, but in a way that I can make you happy, be the person you can turn to, as I’ll turn to you, too, when something troubles us. To see you happy, Lulah, is the most precious gift to me.”
He opened his palm, exposing her hand that he held. Her fingers were lightly curled, and he stroked the back of them with his thumb, taking a moment to try and compose himself, because while he might be fit, he wasn’t sure his heart could continue at the rate it raced. He coaxed her hand open with the draw of his fingers, taking hold of one of hers.
