Well, he didn’t exactly vanish. I knew where he was, but he hadn’t reached out beyond a simple text asking how I was, which didn’t involve a simple answer.
The truth was that I had absolutely no idea how I was.
I knew a lot more facts than I did when Walker first showed up on the island, but how was I doing? I had no clue. I hadn’t slept much, and I’d managed to turn the anger I’d harbored toward Walker all these years away from him and toward my parents.
Not that I thought he was off the hook. There was so much to unpack there that I didn’t even know where to begin.
There was absolutely no way that I didn’t understand his choice. It was an awful decision to be presented with, but I’m glad my parents at least did something positive with their money other than buy expensive cases of wine for the wine cellar.
I knew it was the right choice, but it was impossible to wipe away years of emotion where I felt unworthy, neglected, cheap, and useless.
The list could go on, but I also felt empowered, enlightened, and above the need for relationships during that time as well.
I’d grown and released a lot of the anger.
But the moment I saw Walker on Fireweed, the annoyance came zipping back amid feeling all hot and bothered by the man who’d broken my heart.
So, after the whirlwind of emotions, information, and confusion, I really had no idea how I was doing, but I kind of expected more than a text from Walker.
Granted, I’d been busy the last few days collecting items for my bank to get the loan approved, but I still expected him to drop by or phone.
I let out a groan and waited impatiently for Shannon. We’d agreed to meet at the library so I could return my book and pick up a new mystery. I was still staying far away from the romance section.
“Everything okay?” Jewels asked, and I giggled, glancing across the table.
She was bending over, sliding books back onto the shelf in front of me.
“Sorry. It wasn’t supposed to be out loud.”
She straightened and smiled. “That good of a day, huh?”
“Try week.”
“It doesn’t happen to do with Ashley’s cousin, does it?” She grinned wryly.
“Partly.” I tapped my index finger on the shiny wood table and laughed. “It’s funny how I thought I could run away from my problems by coming to Fireweed, but they just managed to find me.”
“That man doesn’t seem like a problem to me.” She wiggled her brows, and I chuckled.
“And what would Jake Harlen think about that?” I asked.
Jake was Chance’s brother, and I adored him nearly as much as I did Chance.
“He’d probably agree and then tie him up with a fire hose at the other end of the island.”
I laughed, shaking my head.
Jake was a volunteer firefighter on Fireweed and took his position very seriously. In fact, I think that Jewels and Jake met on a call or something.
Shannon walked into the library, and Jewels waved her over before turning to me. “I hope you get things sorted out here and stay put.”
I smiled and nodded. “I just put an offer on a house, and the owner’s accepted, so no man can chase me off my island.”
Jewels winked and gave Shannon a quick hug before heading over to the counter, where a patron was waiting to check out a stack of books.
“What’s the emergency?” Shannon asked, glancing at my hair.
I laughed. “Where do I start?”
“You’ve already filled me in on everything.” Shannon took a seat in front of me. “You like him. He likes you.”
“Right.” I nodded.
“So, what’s the problem?”
I frowned. “It’s complicated.”
“It used to be complicated. Now it sounds like the exact type of love you’d imagined—easy.”
I laughed, shaking my head. “Don’t twist my words.”
“I’m just saying, you both loved one another . . .” She shrugged. “Why not try it again?”
“I wish I were a better person and could just wipe away the rollercoaster of emotions I’ve had, but I can’t.” I sighed. “And I’m starting to feel a little nervous about where he really stands.”
“I think he made that pretty clear.”
“He’s only texted once since everything happened.”
“He might be busy catching up on work. You said he owned a business.”
“Multiple.”
Shannon nodded. “So, he’s probably swamped. He’s been here a couple of weeks and has been a little preoccupied.”
“Ashley hasn’t returned my calls, and she always does.”
Shannon scowled. “You think he got cold feet, and she knows and is afraid to talk to you?”
I shrugged. “You know my mind. It’s been spinning nonstop. I just don’t want to be put in another situation where—"
“You get hurt again.”
“Exactly. I came to Fireweed to get away from all that drama, and it somehow followed me.”
“By drama, you mean men.”
“Well, man.” I smiled. “A particularly good-looking one to boot.”
Shannon chuckled. “He’s still staying at Ashley’s, right?”
I nodded.
“Just stop by on the way to or from your shift. See what’s up, let him know how you feel, your uncertainties.”
“I just don’t want him to think I’m making too big a deal out of this. What if he just wants to keep things casual, and I’m turning up looking for some sort of commitment? The poor guy already had one stalker.”
Shannon’s eyes widened. “That’s crazy.”
“It is.”
She smiled. “I’d try to play it cool. Don’t go in acting like you need a relationship status. Just be you. Let the conversation go where it goes.”
“You’re always so level-headed.” I grinned.
“Only when my advice is for others. Personally, I’m a hot mess when it comes to making sound choices.”
I laughed.
“Speaking of, your hair looks like it recovered. I still can’t believe that happened. I feel so bad, and you won’t be paying for—”
“It wasn’t your fault. Walker has that effect on women.”
“Hence, stalker.”
“And allegedly, they were never an item.”
Shannon’s brows quirked up. “Really?”
“That’s the story I got.” I pulled the stack of library books closer that I’d planned on checking out. “How’s your sister doing? You said she was dating someone?”
Shannon laughed. “I’m afraid to ask her. It sounded like it started so good, and then I’m not sure what happened.”
“It’s tough getting out there.”
“Which is why this Walker thing could be good. You two already know one another,” she pointed out.
“From a million years ago. I’m sure he’s changed.”
“There’s only one way to find out.”
I stood and smiled, suddenly full of determination. “You’re right. I’m going to stop there on the way to the restaurant. I don’t need to be showing up at his doorstep at eleven o’clock at night after I close down the restaurant.”
“That’s my girl.” She winked and stood as I bundled all the books and headed to Jewels.
Shannon followed me up to the counter and gave me a quick hug.
“Thanks for the advice. I’m sure you could make a killing being a therapist.” I grinned as she headed to the door.
“If I screw up another dye job, I just might need to change professions.”
“Well, Walker loves it. Says it looks just like my natural color.”
Shannon laughed. “And he’s probably the only one of us who knows what that is.”
Jewels giggled as she slid the pile of books toward me, and Shannon left the library.
She’d met me between clients, which was sweet of her.
“If you like Walker, I’d tell him,” she said. “Wh
at’s the worst that could happen?”
“Thanks, Jewels.” I grabbed the books off the counter and headed out the door.
I wasn’t sure that the problem was that Walker didn’t know I liked him. I think the issue was that neither of us knew what to do with that information.
By the time I pulled into Ashley’s driveway where Walker was staying, my hands were clammy and my stomach felt like it was sloshing around.
Before I chickened out, I opened the driver’s door and climbed out to see the front door of the house slowly opening. Walker walked right out the door with a spring in his step as a woman with blonde hair giggled and tumbled right out the door behind him.
Even though I desperately wanted to climb back into my car, I straightened as Walker’s gaze met mine and his expression went blank.
I opened my mouth to say something snarky but absolutely no words would come. He held up his hand as I slowly turned around and opened my car door and slithered back into the driver’s seat and turned on the engine.
Walker ran over to the car and tapped on the window.
I wanted to be a grown-up about the situation, so I rolled down the glass.
“It’s not what it looks like,” he began.
“It never is,” I chided. “I’ve been around the block a few times.”
“And so have I. Get out of the car.”
“Nope. I’ll let you two be on your way. I need to get to work.”
“Harmony, I lost you once over something that—”
I let out a sigh. “I’m too exhausted. You can explain later. She’s coming over this way, and I honestly don’t have the energy.”
“Harmony—”
I rolled up the window and slowly backed out of the driveway as I watched the couple argue over something I didn’t even want to imagine.
By the time I arrived at the restaurant to start my shift, I was over Walker.
I’d obviously imagined something that wasn’t there, and even though he sang a good song and knew how to kiss well, it didn’t mean he was anything more than an ex.
We were living two very separate lives.
I waved at Staci as I walked into the building and spotted Todd.
He shuffled over to me and frowned. “I wanted to let you know that I found another job.”
I nodded. “Okay. Well, hopefully, you won’t meddle and start untrue rumors at the next place.”
Todd grimaced. “I was—”
“Bored? Jealous?” My brows arched. “I don’t know that there’s any good excuse you can come up with, so let’s just part ways peacefully. I’m sure the girls will forgive you someday.”
“Maybe.” He nodded and glanced toward the door. “Thanks for the opportunity.”
“Take care, Todd. Just remember, every experience happens for a reason. Try not to repeat it.”
“Absolutely.” He gave a quick wave and ducked out of the restaurant just as the first diners for the night arrived.
I could always count on the familiar pattern of running a restaurant. The evening begins with a quiet lull that turns into a festive chatter of excited guests, the clinking of glasses, and cheers from the bar. This life was consistent and something I could count on, and getting into the kitchen tonight to see my friendly crew only made me smile as Walker became a distant memory.
Chapter Sixteen
I’d turned off the lights, turned on the alarm system, and stepped outside the restaurant. It was close to eleven o’clock at night, and I was exhausted.
I hadn’t thought about Walker much.
Until he greeted me from behind.
“Harmony, I’m not going to let you get away this time.” His voice was gruff.
His words my twenty-something self would’ve loved to have heard.
My mind flashed to the blonde giggling outside Ashley’s door, and I stiffened.
“You have a funny way of showing it,” I said, staring at the door.
I wasn’t ready to look at Walker. His eyes always spoke volumes, and I wasn’t prepared for whatever honesty I might see behind them.
“It’s not what you think.” He sighed, and I slowly spun around.
“And that is a phrase I don’t want to become accustomed to in my life. I’m not going to be blinded by my emotions.”
“Emotions are a good thing.” Walker took a step toward me, and I froze.
“They haven’t suited me in a long time, and when they do make an appearance, it’s usually because I’m angry.”
“Like now,” Walker said.
“I’m indifferent.”
“I don’t believe that.” He shook his head. “Wouldn’t you like to know who she is?”
I glanced at my car. “You told me something earth-shattering, kissed me, and then I didn’t hear from you. I decided to stop by your house, and a cute blonde happened to tumble out the door with you after days of isolation.”
He scratched his chin, and I noticed a couple of days of stubble.
I suppose that’s what happened when a person spent days sexing it up—no time for personal grooming.
“You can keep imagining your scenarios, or I can give you the straight scoop.”
“Fine.”
“She’s my attorney.”
I narrowed my eyes on him. “Your attorney makes house calls all the way up to Island County?”
A smirk rested on his features. “When you pay them as much as I do, yes.”
My pulse quickened with uncertainty. Had he become a great liar over the years, or had I jumped to the wrong conclusion?
Our gazes remained fastened on one another.
I scowled. “You expect me to believe that?”
“It’s all I have. I’m sure she’d be more than happy to confirm, if you’d like.”
“Why did she come all the way to Washington?”
“Leila.” He pressed his lips together, and concern scattered across his features. “She’s been committed for another ten months.”
“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” I asked, starting to believe Walker.
“Well, good for my safety. Not great for her new crush.”
“New crush?”
“She’s developed a bit of an infatuation with one of her doctors at the facility.”
“Wow.”
Walker nodded. “It takes the heat off me for now, but I certainly wouldn’t wish it on anyone else.”
I took a step toward Walker, and he touched my cheek.
“Do you believe me?”
I swallowed, feeling foolish. “I do.”
“I had to make some decisions about what all I wanted to press with the courts and Leila’s treatment in response to this new set of revelations. I also had a couple of business things I had to tend to since I wasn’t in California.”
The tension in my chest finally started to lessen as I let Walker’s words settle around me.
“I’m sorry for letting my mind go there . . .” My voice trailed off, and Walker shook his head.
“It didn’t look good. I should have told you what was going on, but I wanted to give you time too. I didn’t want you to think I was pressing my agenda on you.”
“And what is your agenda?” I asked, seeing longing behind his blue eyes.
“To make you fall in love with me all over again.”
Little did Walker know that I’d never stopped loving him, but I was too afraid of becoming blinded by the fear of being hurt again.
“And how do you propose to do that?” I asked, taking another step toward Walker and narrowing the gap between us.
He slid his arms around my waist and pulled me into him, and I felt all the anger slip away as he looked into my eyes.
“I want to make love to you, Harmony.”
His words coated me with desire as I fell under his spell.
Walker’s mouth pressed down to mine, and the world spinning around us slipped away as his hands cradled my head in his. Cars passed by on the street and lights filtered through my closed l
ids, but I didn’t care who saw Walker kissing me.
It felt good to be held in a man’s arms, but not just any man.
Walker Malone—the only man who truly knew me.
“What do you say we get out of here?” he asked.
“And go back to my place?” I whispered, slowly opening my eyes to see Walker studying me.
“What?”
“I’m just memorizing this.” He touched my face and traced his finger along my jawline. “The look you’d always give me when I knew.”
“Knew what?” I asked breathlessly.
“That you were ready.”
I nearly crumpled into his arms, but I managed to stay upright.
“You drive.” I tossed him my keys. “We’ll leave your car here.”
He grinned and slid his hand around mine as we walked to my car.
The chill in the spring air was exactly what I needed so I wouldn’t melt into oblivion with Walker so close.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” I asked as he opened the passenger door and I slid in.
“I’ve been dreaming of it since I left.” He hung on the car door and drew a breath. “I just didn’t think I’d ever be that lucky.”
Walker closed the door, and I drew a nervous breath. I was about to sleep with the man who’d shattered my heart into a million little pieces. I knew if I slept with Walker, I wouldn’t be able to separate it as I had with the guys back in Portland.
When Walker climbed into the driver’s seat, he glanced at me.
“Walker, I’m not sure I’ll be okay with you leaving again.” My eyes stayed on his. “I don’t know if I can just do casual with you.”
“Harmony, I’m not looking for casual.” He turned the key. “Not with you.”
I nodded, unable to speak as he pulled onto the street, heading to my rental home.
Every possible scenario I’d dreamed of over the years came crashing down around me. How if I ever ran into Walker Malone again, I’d lead him on and leave him wanting more. How I’d hurt him like he’d hurt me. How I’d humiliate him by telling him what I really thought of him.
But for the first time in years, I realized that all that heartache and disgust only ate at me. I knew I’d never do any of those things, yet I pretended I would. And all I ever wanted from Walker Malone was to be loved by him.
Imagining Love on Willow Road (Island County Series Book 13) Page 11
